Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
Hello everyone :D My names koren.
Im 18 and currently in the middle of joing the royal navy. I LOVE Partying, spending time with friends and haveing fun. Oh I also love books and reading as you can proberly see from my favioutes list
OH another very important fact...I am totally team EDWARD but i do change sides when JACOB is shirtless (WHAT Im a horny teen)
ANd it really is the most important thing on here as someone i concider a mum has just got though breast cancer
THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!'
18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challaging people to a jedi match.
19. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"
Repost this if you laughed...
I thougt this was really sweet!
If i dont call you
When i walk away from you mad
When i stare at your mouth
When i push you or hit you
When i start cussing at you
When im quiet
When i ignore you
When i pull away
When you see me at my worst
When you see me start crying
When you see me walking
When i'm scared
When i lay my head on your shoulder
When i grab at your hands
When i tease you
When i dont answer for a long time
When i look at you with doubt
When i say that i like you
When i bump into you
When i tell you a secret
When i look at you in your eyes
When i miss you
When you break my heart
When i say its over
LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them.
"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."
Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?
This is funny!
Man "Haven't we met before?"
Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man "Is this seat empty?"
Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Man "Your place or mine?"
Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Man "But I don't know your name."
Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Man "What sign were you born under?"
Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Man "I know how to please a woman."
Man "I want to give myself to you."
Man "I can tell that you want me."
Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Man "Your body is like a temple."
Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS.
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda"
Reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look effin gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.