In love with a Crooked SmileX
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Joined 05-05-09, id: 1924862, Profile Updated: 08-23-10
Author has written 10 stories for Twilight.

Bonjourno... :)

i'm sarah
i have been in love with twilight since 2008 like most people :P
i am fourteen, nearly fifteen.
summer's nearly over :( BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :L
by the by, if i ever do this '
:L' it means i am laughing :L
i mostly write stories because i just get an idea. i my most popular story is parent trap which i am very happy to say is awaiting a new chapter :L after that is breaking edward cullen, and if you have not read those two then CHECH EM' OUT :D my latest story is California Hitch, please read it and review and tell me what you think (:
this year is a very big year in school wise because i have a huge exam to do called the junior cert so a hell of a lot of studying to be done :/ so that means less updates, and although you guys hardly ever see them, you can see how less of them starting in september. i know, it's crap, and there isn't even a point oin them tbh :L
i'm from ireland, and as i am writing this, it is lashing rain outside. i know, SOOOO UNUSUAL :L but yesterday and saturday was gorgeous out, and we went to the beach yesterday to brittas bay, it was amazing. the water was gorgeous, and if you are in town, i highly reccomend it, it is the best beach i have ever been to.
emmmmmmmmmm... i lalalalalalaaaave comedians, they are my new craze. ricky gervais, lee evans, michael mcintyre are all freaking amazing.
i am not on facebook because it is crap, and no offence to anyone (:
okay, if you are bored, here are some 'internet hook ups' :L
on youtube; shanedawsontv (he is just plain hilarious)
charlieissocoollike (he is actually so cute :L)
errrrrm, i'll add some later... :L
just commonly on the internet; omegle
gamefudge (just games :L)
ROBERT PATTINSON (just looking at him all day... :L)
ehh, once again, update later... :L i'm a lil tired atm :L
ah kay, now that THAT is out of the way, time to enjoy the rest of my freaking epic page (: pms meeeeeee (: i love to have a nice o'l chat with scones and tea ;) i actually really do :L aaaand cawfee :P i love the way people in new york say it; yhoo waunt saum cawfee? :L
so yesss read my stories puhlease and review (: and send me some stories i should chrck out, and have a look through my favourites if wanted (: so, i hope you enjoyed this international chat, and DON'T judge me on my old ffs :L
enjooy (:

the best friends;

lauren; i have been best friends with her since 1st class. i can tell her anything, and i can trust her with it. she's crazy... like completely 'no ones gonna steal this jacket now ;o' (pj) we have been through so much, and on every sleepover, and this has been since first class, someone ends up on the kitchen floor, covered in lemonade, laughing their ass off at something eitherr myself or she said lmfao webcam is our thing ;) okay, well laurs ily so much and never forget that xxxxxxxxxx

ruby; aw wow, ruby ;) i have been best friends with her since junior infants (kindergarten) she's bonkers and is so... crazy heheh. 'what is this? world war 3?' (pj) ruby, your mad and very... open with your thoughts ;) ily x

sinead; sinead is... well she's sinead ;o nothing can really explain more than that hahah. she can be so weird in such a geeky way, it's unreal ;) she always counts on her fingers...? i've known her since 5th class, but we weren't friends, we became friends in first year :D anyway, she's such an amazing best friend :) il

lauren m; okay, she's crazy :L always has these mad stories, but you don't really hear it properly until the second time she says it over :L italy ;) STRIPPERS! :L ily x

jodie; the first time we met eachother? i was going down the road skipping through a hulahoop, and i turned and all i could see was the person SPYING on me, and she quickly hid herself :L yeah, we were freaks :L and the time we were convinced that rhys' dad was a criminal? and we were trying to get his fingerprints :L enjoy some of our amazing quotes (: ;

*how many times have we held hands to face the scary things? your party-the scary noise outside, my sleepover-the red eyes, the grudge, the wolf-dog next door ... we have no fear!!!*
*how many years now? 8? *
*i was that weird girl who skipped down the road thru a hula hoop*
*she was that wierd girl who hid in her room watching me *
*that was the first day we saw each other*
*awkward stare out*
*memories -- "sarah trust me imma professional spy i can train yhoo," reeces dad is a murderer we have to spy on him with our special equipment, i went to lady skool , the philosoraptors next door, baldwins whispering eye , "yeah thats great keep it behind yhoo ... if the grudge comes to get yhoo it will come from behind yhoo and i can warn yhoo in advance!" ... "AAAH!!" , the grudge is gunna come outta the dvd so i throw it at her and then we lock in a bag in a case in a bag in a bag in a bag upside down in between the beanbag and the table so we can watch it and make sure it doesnt get us , the red eyes outside ... oh wait its a light , hour long conversation on death, BOB the window cleaner, singing to bob marley, knick-knacking on no. 17 and getting caught every time , aaron and caroline lol i said enuf ((hiding behind the bush -- "i see a pair of knickers!!")), Billy/Bob/Billy-Bob/Billy-Bob-Joe sob always in our hearts, the ?50 we lost the change to after we bought a packet of mints during her mints stage, her pushing me off the wall -- instead of landing on my feet i lands on my face!!, her forgetting about me cos she was at the cinema sorri ... the movie was awesome tho xP , watching twilight at 2am and saying themost random shit ever , snuggles and cookie , disneyland , disney princess , spy training , the princess club , me and robyn singing vampwolf with her neighbours watching , my press - the most magical press ever - its candy mountain! , playing bungee buddies on the wii , babysittin jobs , our many brilliant schemes , red bull phase , the shops every 5 mins , our little kiss , the movie on the bed , dressing up for halloween , hawaii party , riko next door trying to kill us -- "RUN SARAH!!", shadow attacking uisce and making her violent -- r.i.p. shadow , tara and scrappy tryna attack everyone, "whats the difference between sam and blue?" "er...", dancing to genie in a bottle caroline singing along on the video and the next day the boys caught us , peeking into her aunties house then getting caught, pizza scraper on the window at my bday, holding hands to conquer scary things, "You Ditched Me!!!" ... "No I Didnt!!!" , i never stays awake at sleepovers and the next morning i'm grumpy ... ... yhoo cant stay in denial forever babii ... yull confess soon ... jus remember the old times, italy ommg haha all that needs to be said for that is me spying on the male strippers then tripping over my suitcase ripping the curtains down and getting our balcony window egged THEN BLAMING THE WHOLE THING ON JODIE!!! *
*Theres nothing i wouldnt tell her*
*i love her*

1.finish summer exams
2.sleepover outside
3.go swimmin in a lake
4. work in my dads shop for seventy euro a day
5. get kicked out of a cinema
6. sineads birthday hilarious + amazing night (:
7. rachels baby
8. an absolute unforgettable day 9. florida
10. TAN
11. do a jog VERY early in the mornin (half six may be reasonable )
12. add more

Okay, so most of you have probably noticed that I have indeed wrote a new FanFiction. I was sick, bored, and had a new story idea, so I just went ahead and posted it. I love the idea, so I am continuing it along with Breaking Edward Cullen. Please tell me in a review or private message whether I should keep PT as my main story, but keep writing BEC or I should keep BEC as my main story, but keep writing PT or I should just stop writing BEC or I should just stop writing PT... so read them, please and then tell me.
Please do my poll, it's for PT before I do Chapter 4, please.
So, thank you everyone who reads my stories, and if one of your favourites is one of the stories I am not continuing writing, then tell me and I'll see what I can do.
Will be updating next week, or before on the 21st of February :)
Bye -Sarah x

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter ~ (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny.
Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and
can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Good kisser. Beautiful. Like competition. Get what they want.
20 years of bad luck if you do not forward if you are a Capricorn. (I don't believe in these, but I liked the Capricorn thing, so I decided to put it on my page)

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now) wish right now
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now) wish right now
yeah i could use a dream or a genie or a wish to get back to a place more simpler than this
cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin' and all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
and all the pandemonium and all the madness, there comes a time where you fade to the blackness
and when you're starin' at that phone in your lap, and you're hoping but them people never call you back
but that's just how the story unfolds, you get another hand soon after you fold
and when your plans unravel and they sayin' what you would wish for if you had one chance
so airplane airplane i'm sorry i'm late, i'm on my way so don't close that gate
if i don't make that then i'll switch my flight, and i'll be right back at it at the end of the night
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now) wish right now
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now) wish right now
somebody take me back to the days, before this was a job, before i got paid
before it ever mattered what i had in my bank, yeah back when i was tryin' to get a tip at the subway

and back when i was rappin' for the hell of it, but nowadays we rappin' to stay relevant
i'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes outta airlanes, then maybe yo maybe i'll go back to the days
before the politics that we call the rap game, and back when ain't nobody listened to my mix tape
and back before i tried to cover up my slang, but this is for decatur whats up robby ray
so can i get a wish to end the politics and get back to the music that started this shit
so here i stand and then again i say, i'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta airplanes
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now) wish right now
can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now) wish right now
i could really use a wish right now (oh, oooooh)
like, like, like shooting stars (oooooooooooh)
a wish, a wish right now

Number your 12 favorite Twilight characters, in no particular
order, and answer the questions below the cut! No peeking.

1. Edward Cullen

2. Bella Cullen

3. Alice Cullen

4. Emmett Cullen

5. Seth Clearwater

6. Carlisle Cullen

7.Esme Cullen

8. Rosalie Hale

9. Jasper Hale

10. Renee

11. Charlie Swan

12. Quil Ateara

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
No, not really

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Emmett is defo second on my list!!

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
If Quil got Rosalie Preggie... Wow, that would be... Awesome!! :P

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?
Oh, Yeah, Theres loads of Jasper fans :D

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Uhh, no, not really, It would be a bit awkward cause his son is in love with her so...

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Five with Ten, I like Seth so I'm not going to make him gay!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?
Esme walking in on Bella and Qul!? Wow Quil is getting it around town with Vampires! Well, Extremely weird... I might make a fanfiction bout that...

8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.
Alice was best friends with Renee when they were Teens, But Alice got murdered... Or so the story says, What happens when Renees daughter Bella falls for Alices Adopted brother, and renee meets Alice, stuck at Seventeen, the age of her death? OMG, no one is to copy that! Im using it! :P HaHa

9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?
Would defo not say so, It would be... You know, Weird

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Esmes new Best friend (Crap I know :D)

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?
I would say that Emmett was gay, and got closer to Bella so that he can lie about Edward saying that he cheated and then Emmett told Edward and stuff

12. Does anyone on your Friends List read Three slash?
Defoo! Robyn adores Alice! :D

13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
No, Charlie isnt on any of my friends Top three

14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
Ehh, Yea, i'ts posible :P

15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Ehhh... Awkward, I really dont know what a forty year old would shout...

16. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Jealousy, Ha, That would be a GREAT song for Rosalie!

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Extreme gayness and Heartache involved!

18. What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
OMG!! Thats just WRONG on Soo many levels!! How could you sick minded people say that!?

19. One and Seven are in a happy relationship until Seven runs off with Four. One, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and Nine and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three while Eight watched it all and ate popcorn as if it was a movie.

Edward and Esme are in a happy relationship until Esme runs off with Emmett. Edward, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Charlie and Jasper and a brief unhappy affair with Quil, then follows the wise advice of Seth and finds true love with Alice while Rosalie watched it all and ate popcorn as if it was a movie.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever said something twice, and when someone said something, you had no recollection of saying it either time, copy and paste to your profile.

If you have ever asked the same question 3 times in 5 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile.

Don't forget to add to this, cause if you think about it, its loads of fun

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'M RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. (just one, not all of my friends)
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip

Read this! It's hilarious!

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents, if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts after using this product.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Here are some really funny/weird phobias . Enjoy.!

Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.

Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.

Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Bibliophobia- Fear of books.

Chaetophobia- Fear of hair.

Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.

Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.

Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc.

Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture.

Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.

Russophobia- Fear of Russians.

Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.

Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture.

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.

Ergophobia- Fear of work.

Germanophobia- Fear of Germany or German culture.

Gerontophobia- Fear of old people.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.

Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.

Nomatophobia- Fear of names.

Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.

Where are you?

On my friend Lauren's computer in her room.

Look up. Now look back.
What did you see?
The... Ceiling

What's the last thing you ate?
Toast :D With nutella :P

Say "George Bush".
What's the first thing that comes to your mind?
Eh... A bush?

You now have a million dollars.
What do you do?
Spend... it? And go on extravagent holidays and stuff :P

What are you eating/drinking right now?

I'm eating nothing. But I am drinking Jones :D Blue Bubble gum flavour :D Yummy :D

What are you writing RIGHT NOW?
This random quiz...

Find a globe. Spin it.
What does it say?
Bowasda? What the Hell? Never heard of THAT before!

Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18.
What does it say?

"Right... Well, I guess I'll see you later" I told her awkwardly, straining from what she had said made me sure. She never-

From Victorian Limits. Suchh a good book!

What can you hear right now?
Washing machine, TV and Lauren Ruby talking

Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.
Me: Well, Lauren and Ruby, how was your stay? At Laurens :L

Ruby: Err... Why do you ask? And why are you talking like that?

Me: Like what?

Lauren: All... Gah! Sarah! You mixed me up!

Me: You do know I'm putting this conversation on the computer?

Ruby: I'm gonna get some food

Lauren: You do that

Me: Okay... Well, I'll leave it there

Lauren: Tell all your Twilight home dogs to keep cool!

Me: Will do!

Turn on the T.V.
What show is on?
Life: How it works :L

We were watching the Discovery Channel :L

Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes.
What's the first thing you see?

Laurens mam staring at me :L

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender.
2. Which is the best: red, black, green, blue, or yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which is cooler, black or white?
6. Name a person of your same gender.
7. What's your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Which is prettier, lakes or oceans?
10. What is your wish?

Done with that?
Here are the answers:

1. You are in love with this person.
2. If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Blue: You are spontaneous and enjoy kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Green: Your soul is laid back and you are reserved.
Yellow: You are a happy person and give good advice for those who are down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have lots of love and friendship in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life will soon blossom.
S-Z: You are a good friend and your future love life look very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: This year will go well for you and very soon you will fall in love with someone you would have least expected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a good year and experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but you will eventually find your soulmate.
5. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will like the change.
White: You will have a friend who completley confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.
8. If you chose:
California: You love adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
9. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. You are reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will become true before your next birthday.

Sooo, I'm really bored!
I dont know if I should move onto a new story, so please do my poll, and I'll do your's if you have one!
I love making fan fictions, and I don't mean to sound all moany, but I dont think theres any point if people dont participate
So please oh please make some progress and thanks to everyone who has!
X InLoveWithACrookedSmile X

Team Edward or Team Jacob? If this was six months ago, I would say Edward, but now Switzerland!! :)

Fire or Ice? Ice ;)

Werewolves vs. Vampires. Who would win? Vampires, obviously :)

Jasper, Carlisle, Emmet, or Jared, or Seth? Sorry to all Jasper adorers (Including Sinead) but I don't see what's great about him... If I had to pick three, I like Carlisle, Emmett and Seth

Who do you like more. Alice or Rosalie? BOTH!!

Esme or Rosalie? BOTH!!

Leah or her brother, Seth? Seth :)

Mountain Lion or Grizzly Bear? Mountain Lion :)

Bronze hair (Edward) or Blonde hair (Jasper)? B R O N Z E

Do you hate Edward? No!!

Do you hate Jacob? No!!

Another quiz:

And now are main feature the twilight quiz, Which One! Quiz yourself on your loyalty to your team? (Yes, I no it is stupid)

Twilight or Breaking Dawn? Breaking Dawn

Eclipse or Breaking Dawn? Eclipse

New Moon or the movie? Dunno yet...

Killing yourself or Edward dead? Edward dead (hey i'm sorry! But i dont wanna die!)

Killing yourself or Jacob dead? Jacob dead (hey i'm sorry! But i dont wanna die!)

Edward or Jacob? Both

Bella or Reneesme? Both! Bella get's on my nerves sometimes, but I think her as me, so both

Robert Pattison or Henry Caville? Who the hell is Henry Caville? ROBERT PATTINSON ALL THE WAY!! he was a awesome Cedric and Edward!

Alice or Bella? Both

Alice or Rose? Both

Alice or Esme? Both

Alice or Emmett? Both

Jazzyemo or Emmett? E M M E T T

Emmett or Carlisle? Both

Carlisle or Charlie? Carlisle

Esme or Renee? Both :)

Sam or Leah? Leah

Emily or Leah? Emily

Seth or Jacob? Both :D

Quil or Embry? Doesn't really make a difference

Rachel or Rebecca? Em... Well, both

Paul or Jane? Jane

Jane or Alec? BOTH!!

Demetri or Felix? Felix

Aro or Caius? Aro

Marcus or Aro? A R O!

(and last but not least) Vampires or Werewolves? I adore both!! But this is an important question, so Vampires :)

Hey, I love all of my stories very much, but since I have 8, and writing two, it's hard to update. I'm trying my best, and my hardest is trying to get back in with New Moon with a Twist as I haven't updated that one in a while. Here is the all my stories, and what's happening with them:

New Moon with a Twist = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do.
Heart Break = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
My sister Alexandra = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Stuck with you = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Beautiful Lies = I adore this story, but I'm discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Broken Dreams = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Break Edward Cullen = Continuing :) Love this story. Sorry, I know that I haven't updated in so long, but I need to know what to do.. you'll understand if you read the top paragraph at the top of my page, third paragraph.
Parent Trap = Continuing, but I need more reviews "/ So please message me, and read the top paragraph to know what to do, please.

Robyn: Did you think Romeo and Jasper had a good night? - Our English question for homework

Sinead: Loves Billy Black and wants to have Jacob with him all over again ;)

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt
You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture
Sad movies suck.
you own/ed and Xbox

Played with hot wheels cars as a kid

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You at some point loved Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.

You wear lip gloss/stick
You love skirts.
Cats are better than dogs.

You love to shop
You wear eyeliner
You wear the color pink.

You go to your mum for advice
Pink, yellow, orange, purple, red are one of your favourite colours.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the shopping centre.
You like getting manicures/and or pedicures
You like wearing jewelery.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
You don't like the movie 'Star Wars'
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you more than/around one hour to shower, get dressed and put make-up on
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 6 pairs of shoes
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can
You like wearing deodorant/ perfume everyday
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as a little kid. (I WAS a tomboy when I was younger, because where I lived, there was only boys)
Like being the star of every thing.

It's safe to say, that I have a mind of a girl, thank god :)

Bella's jumper:

Bella's jeans:

Bella's boots:


Bella's top:

Bella's jeans:

Bella's boots:

Alice's top:

Alice's leggings:

Alice's heels:

Hey, I love all of my stories very much, but since I have 8, and writing two, it's hard to update. I'm trying my best, and my hardest is trying to get back in with New Moon with a Twist as I haven't updated that one in a while. Here is the all my stories, and what's happening with them:

New Moon with a Twist = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do.
Heart Break = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
My sister Alexandra = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Stuck with you = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Beautiful Lies = I adore this story, but I'm discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Broken Dreams = Discontinuing, sorry. But as I said at the top, if this is your favourite story, then tell me and I'll see what I can do
Break Edward Cullen = Continuing :) Love this story. Sorry, I know that I haven't updated in so long, but I need to know what to do.. you'll understand if you read the top paragraph at the top of my page, third paragraph.
Parent Trap = Continuing, but I need more reviews "/ So please message me, and read the top paragraph to know what to do, please.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel reviews
Bella begins working for the elusive and distant Edward Cullen who she discovers is hiding behind an elaborate charade to maintain his secret lifestyle. Bella is determined to find out the mysteries of Edward Cullen but with what results? AU, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,624 - Reviews: 14716 - Favs: 12,333 - Follows: 5,619 - Updated: 3/23 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Then and Now by precious pixie reviews
2 years ago,Bella was the freak,with braces and acne.She's a famous model now.But she's back in Forks.Bigger and better.Will she be able to keep her career a secret to the people of Forks?What will they think when they find out the freaks a model?OOC,AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 30,031 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 5/28/2014 - Published: 7/30/2009 - Bella, Edward
Let the games begin by KlausIsMySoulMate reviews
The sequel to Puzzled. Please read puzzled first. What happens when Edward and Bella stage a huge prank war against their friends and family both human and vampires just weeks before their wedding?Lets just say no one is safe. Read and review New pen name! Was I'llAlwaysBeInEdwardsColdArms.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,876 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/22/2014 - Published: 6/13/2009 - Bella, Edward
S X Everyday Keeps the Doctor Away by smmiskimen reviews
REPOSTED! Bella has two secrets that she's keeping to herself. When she embarks on a journey to discover the ways to keep herself healthy through extracurricular activities, she's not expecting what happens. EB, AH, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 127,610 - Reviews: 1221 - Favs: 1,023 - Follows: 570 - Updated: 3/23/2013 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Mother's Instinct by The Blessing And The Curse reviews
**BEING REVISED** Bella was 16 when Edward got her pregnant. To avoid questioning and start a new life Bella moves away with her twins. Six years later she moves to Chicago, where she meets Edward, her new manager - who has a family of his own.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,157 - Reviews: 794 - Favs: 431 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Edward, Bella
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13058 - Favs: 6,155 - Follows: 2,787 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer by ericastwilight reviews
Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. But she falls hard, too, at the risk of breaking her own heart when the truth is revealed. EXB-AH-OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 328,966 - Reviews: 9490 - Favs: 8,517 - Follows: 5,731 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Starlight by TwilightobsessedfanxoxoEdward reviews
Edward Mason is orphaned and sent to an orphanage. The same orphanage of Bella Swan, another orphan. They are soon best friends and everything goes great until a dark plot around Bella is uncovered. I am bad at summaries PLEASE READ IT IS GOOD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 41 - Words: 59,537 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Diary of Mike Newton by magicalmangoes reviews
The diary of Mike Newton. From self-obessed Mike's view during the Twilight Saga. Slightly AU, ExB. One sided MxB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,159 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 12/20/2009 - Mike, Bella - Complete
I'm Not Me by vortext reviews
Edward's a player. Bella is a famous singer named "Izzy". Except no one know her identity. What happens when they KNOW? Hurt, he leaves her. What will she do to get him back? Give it a shot. AH, OOC, BXE. A/N: This story is pretty bad. I am ashamed of it. You might not want to read it.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 29,803 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 3/13/2011 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Parent Trap by StrawberryMopet reviews
Bella and Edward got divorced 15 years ago. Bella moved to England with her son and Edward stayed in Forks with his daughter. Little did they know, their son and daughter met during camp and are planning to get them back together. Usual pairings&All human
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 42,477 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Bella, Edward
Family Feud: A CullenBlack Tale by RavenTwilight reviews
Aiyanna Black is the daughter of Jacob Black and Bella Black, her mother has a dark ex-love, father hidden secret. Kicked out of Tribal School and forced to go to Forks, she meets a boy named Edward Cullen, who's not so new to the family. rated T.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 90,093 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 11/19/2010 - Published: 5/22/2009
Reasons Why He Drives Me Crazy by jumarxie reviews
Bella is the heir to her parents' company in Forks. She's convinced that she's destined in single life. What would she do if she finds out that she's arranged to marry someone since birth? To the guy she despises for breaking her heart.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 73,063 - Reviews: 705 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bet on Love by xXMoonyeenXx reviews
Alice is fed up with Edwards player ways, so decides it is time to teach him a lesson in life and love. Will he realise what love is, or will he remain the same? BxE eventually, AxJ eventually, RxEm from the start. Rating for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 164,333 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 372 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Truth or Dare with vamps and a human! by momorocker44 reviews
What will happen when Bella gets tricked into playing truth or dare with her vampire family? You'll have to see! I know the summary is lame but plz read!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 11,536 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 6/20/2009
sleepover gone wrong by kikitwilight reviews
Alice, Bella and Rosalie decided to have a girl’s night, without their boyfriends. It’s just a sleepover right, you wouldn’t think someone would break in and try to kill you. Will they survive or will this be the last time there together. AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,060 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/28/2010 - Published: 2/4/2010
Bella operation :Guy by Please State Your Emergency reviews
What happens if Bella and Jasper are brother and sister and he wants to go to art school but what does she have to do so he can follow his dream. :O I suck at summeries bear with me! please
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 8,453 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/21/2010 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Emmett Plays With Feminine Products by The Brown Eyed Writer reviews
This is a funny one shot! What happens when Emmett goes through Bella's purse! Read and find out! Takes place after New Moon. The Cullens are vampires, and Bella is human. Review and add to your favorites! I promise you'll be in tears by the end!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,470 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/9/2010 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Love Story by youareacheesesandwich reviews
Isabella Swan met Edward Cullen in 1918, when her family were hosting a party. There, they danced, fell in love and soon after were engaged in secret. Almost 100 years after Edward's "Death" they meet again in a high school in Forks, Washington, both as Vampires
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 19,906 - Reviews: 1034 - Favs: 930 - Follows: 583 - Updated: 5/3/2010 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Quileute Stone Legend, Sequel by LauraWinter reviews
Jacob and Bella have four children. Their daughter Sienna receives an unexpected visitor in the woods. WARNING: This story contains discipline of children and teens in the form of spanking. Rating for language and discipline.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 66,197 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 4/16/2010 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
Kidnapped by madcowre reviews
Bella and Edward have grown up hating each other, much to the frustration of their parents. But when they are thrown together in a traumatic event, can they put aside their differences to survive and maybe even fall in love. E/B AU AH Lemons,Lang,Dark Th
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 279,420 - Reviews: 5773 - Favs: 6,775 - Follows: 2,278 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Better Late Than Never by HeHeProductiions reviews
Edward Masen 29 is the coach and Pe teacher at Forks High. He is also a single dad of three. Edward loves sports and his job and Mrs Swan just made it a whole lot better. Bella Swan, is starting life again. FULL SUMMARY IINSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,329 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Edward, Bella
It wouldnt let you out by x-my-immortal-x reviews
ExB-Bella's mother is dead, father is abusive & brother turned to drink. She is left in a world where she is alone! alone until a bronze haired boy changes her world. But will it work out? can she deal with everything life has thrown at her? Please Read!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,071 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
Biologically Yours by jamie110 reviews
Bella is 2 months pregnant with Jacob, her fiance's, child. But how is she sure it's Jake's when her doctor and good friend Edward remembers their drunken night together during their High School reunion?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,294 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 2/8/2010 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Bella, Edward
Hard as a Feather, Soft as a Stone by sPunkY.sTeLLar reviews
Isabella Swan, the school's Queen comes back from a school exchange program and meets Edward Cullen, the new King of the school. Can she break Edward's tough exterior? Can he see through Bella's facade? -first fanfic- ON HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 50,397 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 1/26/2010 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Bella, Edward
Smells Like Teen Spirit by assonance-asphyxiation reviews
Carlie Renesmee Cullen lives with her single father and Hollywood actor, Edward Cullen. Watch how Edward questions his parenting skills & Carlie finds love and the satisfaction of finding her long-lost mother. AU AH Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 95,076 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 1/16/2010 - Published: 10/20/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward - Complete
Egotistical King by Haydron reviews
AH/AU. I've known Edward Cullen all my life, and so far I've being doing grand under his radar. But one stupid remark about his weener and I'm back, loud and blaring. This can't be good.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,199 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/12/2010 - Published: 11/7/2009 - Edward, Bella
Reassigned Identity by Mk Marie reviews
Bella Swan:Anti-marriage, bad dating record. Edward Cullen:CIA Agent with a dark past. After witnessing something traumatic Bella is put under witness protection where she must pose as "Agent Cullen's" wife. What could go wrong? Now that you've asked..
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 117,548 - Reviews: 4834 - Favs: 4,341 - Follows: 1,553 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ask The Cullens by jaymeecullen reviews
The Cullens receive letters from their many fans... hahaha.... find out what happens when they read their so called "fan mail".... *MY 1ST FANFIC! cut me some slack pls.... REVIEW! thnx!*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,584 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 5/3/2009
Living With Barbie by Fairy Forsaken reviews
ALL HUMAN! Bella's mum sends her to her dad in Forks. Edward is a real jerk to her. What happens when he sees her street dance? Will love shine through?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,657 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Grocery Encounter by Wooden Tulips reviews
Bella's roommate Rose drags her out grocery shopping one cold winter night.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 47,068 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella and Emmett's Songs by Completely Dipendente reviews
Bella is drunk and her and Emmett are writing songs about some of the people they know. Please review, even if you hate it x
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 10,151 - Reviews: 712 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Bella, Emmett
The Wedding Planner by Mrs Cullen for Life reviews
All Human. Bella Swan has just recieved a new client. Edward Cullen is engaged and his wedding planner is none other than Bella Swan. They should find planning a wedding easy, Right? Well it would be if they didn't fall in love. first All Human Fanfic! :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,415 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
Edward and Bella in wonderland by Theonewhostandsout reviews
Alice in wonderland/Twilight crossover Bella and Edward both fall into strange rabbit holes on completely different sides of the U.S. and find themselves in wonderland a place that all of their worrys go away. But unknown to them wonderland has its faults
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,347 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/26/2009 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Edward, Bella
101 things to do in Walmart by Theonewhostandsout reviews
What happens when the Cullens get bored and decide to go down the infamous 101 things to do in walmart list and set out to complete them. Hilarious-ness! 1st chapter's only the list and who's doing what though.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,631 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Emmett
Big Brother Twilight by Amberjoe reviews
Bella and her big brother Emmett go into the Big Brother house. There they meet the other twilight characters. Fun and games from there on! Edward/Bella Emmett/Rosalie Alice/Jasper Soon to be adopted by EdwardCullen'sSexyCrookedSmile !
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,755 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Detention with the Cullens by oxoxTwilightloverxoxo reviews
Emmett,Edward,Rosalie, Bella, Alice and Jasper all get detention together. Emmett being FUNNY. Alice losing her power? Edward going crazy. Bella the amatuer prankster. Rosalie losing her beauty. Jasper going EMO! FUNNYNESS ENSURED!OOCness
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,474 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 9/16/2009 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Emmett
Witches of Twilight by raca reviews
Bella discovers a truth about the 'mythical' world long before leaving Phoenix. Seeking out her friends, she finds herself in Forks and surrounded by creatures that shouldn't exist. A retelling of Twilight filled with Magic and staring a powerful Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 117,547 - Reviews: 1659 - Favs: 1,651 - Follows: 618 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Truth or Dare a day with the Cullens by lizzyvamp1901 reviews
It all started with a game of Truth or Dare. Now, the Cullens will remember that summer for the rest of their eternal lives. WARNING This fanfiction includes Edward as a stripper, DETENTION, Jazz being eaten and Bella getting arrested... by Charlie.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 33,338 - Reviews: 1824 - Favs: 1,028 - Follows: 503 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Journey to the Stars by hannahx3 reviews
What happens when Bella gets involved in sex, drugs, alcohal, and everything following when Edward leaves? Can she turn her life around? **someone dies, a few lemons that will be occuring.** trust me. you will love it. rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,333 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Bella, Seth
Love, Pain, and everything in between by JenMari reviews
IMPORTANT......? FIND OUT! Enjoy! Peace!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,392 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/21/2009 - Published: 6/11/2009
When will my reflection show who I am inside? by PeytonKeelyn reviews
AU/AH Bella is the president's daughter, but Renee tells her that her real dad is one of 6 kings/rulers all over the world. How far will she travel to find out who she really is? Completely fictional/fantasy. Time periods all messed up. EXB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,015 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Bella, Edward
Cullen Prank Week by BellissaAdreana reviews
Sequel to Truth or Dare Cullen Style! It's a year later, and Alice suddenley announces the Cullen's forgotten ritual of Prank Week! Now, knowing the way that the Cullens are, you know that this won't be a regular prank week! Oh no, they're going all out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,459 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 6/4/2009 - Published: 1/10/2009
Haunted Midnight by AsherRose reviews
The Cullens expect Forks, Washington to be no different from any other small, rainy town they've lived in. But it is different. Because there's someone in their house who's waited 200 years to tell her story..
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 21,478 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 3/13/2009 - Published: 11/12/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
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California Hitch
Edward is Sick of his regular life, so he moves to L.A. On the way there, he meets the mysterious Bella Swan while she was Hitch hiking. Little does Edward know who he's dealing with, his life becomes far from normal. AH, normal pairings rights to SM. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,116 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/19/2010 - Bella, Edward
Parent trap reviews
Based on the movie 'Parent Trap' Ava Swan and Kaylee Cullen go to Camp Glee, and meet each other at 14, and find that they are twins, so they decide to swap lives with each other. AH, Pairings are the same, yet not fulfilled at the start. R&R please:
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,269 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/21/2010 - Published: 2/10/2010
Breaking Edward Cullen reviews
Edward is the player of the boarding school and Bella is paired up as room mates due to a malfunction. Can Bella break Edward Cullen, or are his ways too hot to handle? Lot's of fun with twists and turns in it too. Rated T, may change later. Bella & Edwrd
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,738 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 12/2/2009
Nightmare Unleashed reviews
Renesmee finds out she's pregnant with Jacobs baby at fourteen. Edward dies, but still walks the Earth as he still has some unfinished business to do. How does Renesmee cope, and does her father forgive her after telling him on his deathbed? AH All POVs.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,682 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/7/2009
Broken Dreams reviews
Bella and Edward are getting a divorce after 5 years. Bella doesn't know what to do with her life and misses him, so she covers it up with party's, alcohol and drugs. Read please! Much better than sounds. AH some bad language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,343 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/28/2009
Beautiful Lies: Renesmee reviews
Aro tells Renesmee that he killed all realatives and friends.She goes back with him to Volterra and lives with him.Then Renesmee can't take anymore.She runs away but what will she soon learn on her new little adventure?Maybe some Beautiful lies?Rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,599 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/15/2009 - Published: 10/1/2009
Stuck with you reviews
Bella Swan is going for an interview and staying in a cabin with six complete strangers for the night. Unfortunately, a snowstorm hits their way and must stay there a little longer than expected. Oh, and they all hate eachother.Please read!Crap at summary
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,023 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/28/2009 - Published: 9/23/2009
Heart Break reviews
The Cullens still haven't come to Forks yet, so Bella is going out with Jacob. But when the Cullens come, Bella has to Choose: Jacob, the love of her life, or Edward:The love of her Eternity.Im Crap at summaries! Please read and Review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,233 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Bella
My Sister Alexandra reviews
Where Bella and her bratty twin sister Alex move to Forks because their mom and dad divorce Please oh please read! Better than sounds and WILL get better :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,607 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
New Moon With a twist reviews
Ok, So this is Basically about when Edward's Family is leaving but Edward lets Bella come with him There will be loads more things happening I suck at Summaries Rated T for Future references
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,605 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/10/2009 - Published: 5/8/2009