dear cecil
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Joined 05-06-09, id: 1926216, Profile Updated: 06-19-12
Author has written 32 stories for Team Fortress 2, Time Squad, Homestuck, Batman, and Sherlock.

i write a lot of bullshit.

if you want to read the explicit versions of my works, click the homepage link; it will direct you to my AO3 account, which is far more suited for that sort of thing, mainly because it's against the rules here.

as a rule, if the summary or title sounds silly, it's because it's meant to.

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Piano Man by Trench Kamen reviews
Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth have finally been able to settle down together. Phoenix's musical sense never left, even after re-gaining his bar: he still associates songs with memories, good and bad, hilarious and heartbreaking.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 100,850 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 3/15/2015 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Phoenix W./Nick, Miles E.
The Important Bit by Rayndrop reviews
Just where exactly is the line between "to love" and "to be in love"? What difference is required between "flatmate" and "husband"? Besides the rings, obviously. The important bit is that they have each other. Married asexual!Sherlock/Straight!John.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,038 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 967 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 9/6/2011 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
His Favourite Four Letter F Words by cathedral carver reviews
John isn't the most eloquent of men.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,676 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/26/2011 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Mouth of Babes by Morgan Stuart reviews
Several weeks after the explosion at the pool following "The Great Game" episode, Lestrade visits the recuperating Sherlock and John at 221B Baker Street. He brings case files and food... and a visitor in tow.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,495 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 542 - Follows: 49 - Published: 3/12/2011 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete
Liebe Und Krankheit by SekritOMG reviews
Clyde is affable and insecure; Kenny never even considered trading him sex for free shoes.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,110 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Clyde D., Kenny M. - Complete
It Could Be Worse by Anonymous TF2er reviews
Lonely old RED Sniper comes to terms with himself, life and that snail-eatin' RED Spy. An attempt at character development and actual realistic romance written in response to all the terrible Sniper/Spy garbage out there.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 58,675 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 69 - Published: 8/5/2010 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
Georgia on My Mind by Lauralot reviews
You have to take the skeletons out of the closet before you can bury them. Sequel to Shadow Selves. Wayne/Crane.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,578 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/18/2010 - J. Crane, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
The Doctors and the Nurses They Adore Me So by Lauralot reviews
You can lead a clown to Arkham, but can you keep him in?
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 40 - Words: 134,839 - Reviews: 575 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 4/30/2010 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Joker, J. Crane - Complete
I Don't Want Anybody Else by Lauralot reviews
It's a perfectly logical system. It isn't a fixation at all. Joker/Crane
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,944 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/20/2010 - J. Crane, Joker - Complete
Shadow Selves by Lauralot reviews
Living together against both parties' will is hard, and romance is never easy. Especially when your alter egos hate each other. Eventual Wayne/Crane. Sequel to The Knight and The Prince.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 268,766 - Reviews: 1278 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 12/31/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - J. Crane, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Medical Help by Checkerboards reviews
Dr. Crane, meet Dr. Horrible. Dr. Horrible, meet Dr. McNinja. Dr. McNinja, meet Batman. Readers, meet impending crossover insanity.
Crossover - Batman & Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,633 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 9/12/2008 - J. Crane/Scarecrow, Dr. Horrible/Billy - Complete
The Usual Reasons by aliwildgoose reviews
Sokka would swear, later on, that it was completely innocent when it started. Sokka/Zuko
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,310 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 804 - Follows: 95 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Sokka, Zuko - Complete
Geniuses by Amaretto reviews
Slash. Crossover with Foxtrot. Jason and Calvin meet in college and find in each other something they never found elsewhere.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,914 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 18 - Published: 4/18/2005
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Agape reviews
"Joan steps into the closet and stretches up, not bothering to hold the door open; the closet door slams shut as a gust of wind trails through the flat." A fill on the Sherlock kink meme for fem!Watson and John. Sherlock finds his way in there as well.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,960 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 19 - Published: 11/18/2011 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Transmogrification reviews
Tavish Degroot gets bitten by a werewolf, and becomes one himself. He deals with it. When it threatens to interfere with his work, everyone else deals with it, too.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,124 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Demoman - Complete
A Kind Of Magic reviews
Merasmus is an out of commission magician. He has heart problems. Jane is a RED Soldier. He's growing too accustomed to normal society. They're roommates. They argue. They do their taxes together. Sometimes they end up kissing.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,089 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/27/2011 - Soldier
Having A Blast
You should never have moved to this godforsaken city. You can't even go shopping without getting assaulted by a lunatic in spandex. Second person, non-interactive.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,894 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/9/2011 - Complete
Dispassionate reviews
The two Medics may be married, but they're not exactly in love. It's hard to explain.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 480 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Medic - Complete
Left Handed reviews
Medic is trained to kill without feeling. Or, rather, without remorse... a little joy is still perfectly acceptable.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 459 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Medic, Scout - Complete
Hostile reviews
Snipers and Spies just weren't made to mix. All they do is fight, fight, fight.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 946 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
Papa Hoovy reviews
Your father has always been a wonderful man. Second person PoV.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,700 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/6/2011 - Heavy - Complete
Courting Miss Karkat reviews
Kismesissitude is hard to understand. Karkat and Equius, centered on the latter.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 976 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/12/2011 - Complete
Plight Of The Strong reviews
Equius sweats a lot. This is about that.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 394 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/12/2011 - Complete
Frosting Swirls reviews
Soldier seeks out his comfort food in the city. The prompt was, "Soldier has a boner for cupcakes."
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 842 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/11/2011 - Soldier - Complete
Bad Advice reviews
The prompt was, "Medic giving Demo a sex tip for his wife. Demo tries it in the sack and the good lady is NOT amused." It ended up being pretty tame; no sex, just a little wordplay.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 453 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/10/2011 - Demoman, Medic - Complete
Tech Repair reviews
Tuddrussel's rowdiness results in Larry breaking a bit. Tuddrussel tries to help fixing Larry, but causes more trouble for the android. Slash, and, uh, robosensuality.
Time Squad - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,594 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6/2011 - Complete
Networking reviews
In the year 99,999,995 A.D., Larry and XJ5 met in a dive on Neptune and had an experience. Slash, and I guess this is sexual, although really... they're machines. It's just file sharing.
Time Squad - Rated: T - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,419 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6/2011 - Complete
Mail reviews
Scout is always the one to bring the mail bag to the kitchen.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 997 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Scout
Cramped Hands reviews
The battle ends, and Sniper searches for Spy, to provide some small consolation after his last death. They can always get revenge tomorrow.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 706 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Sniper, Spy
Waiting reviews
Spy and a Serbian contact rendezvous in Bosnia and Herzegovina during a time of unrest. A deal is made.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Spy - Complete
Time Well Spent reviews
Heavy and Medic going to sleep. Basically just a really short piece of fluff. Kind of a part of the Professors AU going around between some artists.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 621 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/14/2010 - Heavy, Medic - Complete
Love In The Desert reviews
Sniper and Demoman find solace in each other, and their shared passion.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 374 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/11/2010 - Sniper, Demoman - Complete
Vignettes reviews
A collection of unrelated, 100 word pieces. Ratings will be marked at the top of each.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 2,354 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/8/2010 - Published: 9/7/2010
A Show of Force reviews
The RED Engineer knows what he wants and how to get it. The BLU Spy learns that the hard way. Warning: Non-con, bondage, very mild torture.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,593 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Engineer, Spy
Ignorance reviews
Engineer offers to teach Scout some things past running and bludgeoning people to death. Things do not go as planned. Written for scoutsauce.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 615 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/6/2010 - Engineer, Scout - Complete
Cellophane Flowers reviews
Medic drinks a can of Bonk. The results are somewhat frightening.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,323 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Medic, Heavy - Complete
Duality reviews
The RED Spy and the BLU Spy seem to be missing the point of being enemies. At least sharing a bed is probably better than sharing company secrets.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,636 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Spy
Authority reviews
Medic is, on the field and in his office, a man who loves to be in charge. In more intimate affairs, however, Spy learns that the man can be quite different. Warnings: Sex, power play, weird dirty talk.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,937 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Spy, Medic - Complete
Les Larmes reviews
The BLU Spy goes to a club and life is great. Then he goes to work and life sucks. Hilarity ensues, or something.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 680 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Spy - Complete
Becoming Un Woman reviews
The Medic turns Spy into a woman against his will. Or does he? Warning: Extreme surgical procedures, fetishism, angst, drama, character death.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Spy, Engineer - Complete
The Palm Of His Hand reviews
It took a bit of time, but Dell's finally got the RED Soldier trained. Here's a demonstration of just how broken in he is. Warning: Dub-con, bondage, mild torture. Dedicated to prawnsy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,733 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Engineer, Soldier - Complete
Mechanics reviews
A collection of shorts focusing on Dell Conagher and his amazing-as-hell robot hand. Warning: Gore, cannibalism, sex, etc. Some chapters are connected to previous ones, some are stand-alone.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,016 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Engineer
For The Ladies reviews
A collection of fics centered around the original male characters and the genderbends done by Magellan, also known as angrytalic. They are generally "romantic," and generally durpy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,962 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 8/6/2010
Hello reviews
Scout needs advice from the team about how to garner the attention of the opposite sex. She gets it, all right. Based on Magellan's genderbend of Scout.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,794 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Scout - Complete