ItsMeHumphrey
hide bio
Poll: New stories for you to pick! :D Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 05-08-09, id: 1927571, Profile Updated: 05-21-12
Author has written 11 stories for Devil May Cry, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, and Kuroshitsuji.

Hello everyone!

Humphrey here, welcome to my page. I hope to entertain you for a very long time ;D

So, you're probably wondering why this evil person decided to delete some stories? They weren't going to get updated - I'm not yet done, but I removed the clutter.


"You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it." - Neil Gaimen

"Imagination is your key to unlock the hidden wonders of our world" -Dreamfinder

"Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock and roll." -Shigeru Miyamoto

"All you need to know is this. There are two kinds of games: games that I stop playing because I've been bored or frustrated into a state approaching rigor mortis, and games that I stop playing because I've just noticed I should have had dinner two hours ago." -Zero Punctuation.

"Life is a video game. No matter how good you get, you are always zapped in the end" -Anonymous

"Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the hell with sugar and spice" -Bethany Hamilton.

"Learn from History as there is no better teacher" -Anonymous

more to come

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Domina Esques by Shu of the Wind reviews
Or, The Lady Knight. At sixteen, Lizzy Middleford has been on a tour of the continent for a year. Now, she's a different, sharper person than before...and she's determined to take her place at Ciel's side, whether he likes it or not. All hail the Queen's Paladin. Eventual CielLizzy. Cover art by cielking-art on Tumblr. COMPLETE, with sequel upcoming. May be expanded.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 237,224 - Reviews: 1263 - Favs: 451 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 2/5 - Published: 8/1/2011 - Ciel P., Elizabeth M. - Complete
Meet Resident Evil by rockof90 reviews
Bloopers from when characters first met each other in the main RE games (new chapters in progress)
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 61 - Words: 44,588 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 11/28/2013 - Published: 11/22/2008
Our Favorite Mistake by Familiar-abyss reviews
"Wouldn't want a scary maid to throw her feather duster at me," she said sullenly. "Yes Yuki," Dante responded sarcastically, "I go to great lengths to ensure your safety against feathers. Now you know why you've never had a down quilt."
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 26,782 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/20/2011 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Dante, Trish
Mission: Almost Impossible by wolfgirl16 reviews
Leon and Krauser are the best agents President Graham has had in years, but he sends them on the most mundane missions you could imagine.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 116,133 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 11/20/2010 - Published: 5/15/2005
His Butler, Mistaken by monkeybait reviews
Ciel caves, and Sebastian finally gets the cat he's always wanted. But after a while, who ends up liking it... and who ends up hating it?
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,997 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Sebastian M., Ciel P. - Complete
Student's Guide to Surviving Raccoon High by Wootabulous reviews
Jill, forced once again to move due to her Father's job is sick of moving. She just wants to stay in an area long enough to make good friends and graduate. Add the enigmatic Christopher Redfield into the equation and watch sparks fly. C/J, J/S, L/A, C/S
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,289 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/15/2010 - Published: 6/12/2009 - Jill V., Chris R.
Reborn by MikariStar reviews
Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz returned as children and started calling Rufus "daddy". That's when the Turks knew it was the end of the world, or maybe just the end of their peace and quiet.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 47 - Words: 42,375 - Reviews: 534 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 10/6/2008 - Rufus, Kadaj - Complete
Vampire Knight Vacation One Shots by skipbeat08 reviews
Ever felt like you could use a vacation? Of course, who hasn't! So dive into a romance vacation with the characters from Vampire Knight. Go to Kaname's Manison, visit a spa with Zero, see the beach with Shiki, go to a theme park with Kain, and many more!
Vampire Knight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,355 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 3/15/2009
Ask a Devil Hunter by Superior Firepower reviews
Questions about DMC 1-3 are sent in and Dante, with the help of Vergil, answers them in humorous and original ways. Reader fed. Minor VxD in humorous ways.
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,628 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 5/31/2008
Training: Almost Impossible by wolfgirl16 reviews
The road to becoming official government agents isn't easy. Just ask Leon and Krauser. Prequel to Mission: Almost Impossible.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,280 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/2/2009 - Published: 10/22/2009
Sons and daughters of the devil by Vergil Diva's chevalier reviews
Dante and Vergil are students at a high school and live happily with their parents. But what'll happen when they discover that they have sisters that are coming to live with them? T for some non-graphic violence and language. Not just Vergil&Diva.
Crossover - Devil May Cry & Blood+ - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 30,545 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 9/11/2009 - Published: 5/23/2008 - Vergil, Diva
Nothing But Trouble: The Trouble With Kisses by ShyAnon reviews
Happily ever after? Heh... Not if Dante has anything to say about it! Companion two-shot to Nothing But Trouble. VergilxLady. Part 1 up!
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,676 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Lady/Mary, Vergil
The Snake And The Wolf by Lost Triforce reviews
Snake is just trying to live his life when he meets up with the former Crying Wolf. MGS4. -cancelled and reimagined as A Means to an End-
Metal Gear - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,380 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/27/2009 - Published: 6/21/2008
Recipes For Disaster by The Joe and Gromit Show reviews
Joe: Each character of the Devil May Cry Canon is given the opportunity to write the storyline for the next DMC instalment. Watch as egos are inflated and fantasies are fulfilled. Nero's idea up!
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,948 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/13/2009 - Published: 6/22/2009
50 Ways to Annoy Vergil by jaded-water reviews
Title says it all.
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 751 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Vergil, Dante - Complete
Dante's Long Day At The Office by Darkcomet reviews
Have you ever wondered what happens when Dante goes a day without getting any jobs? It isn't pretty.
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,188 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Dante - Complete
Emasculated by Eric Draven201 reviews
Dante has never had great luck with women. When Trish is invited to go to a women's only party, he's forced to go along. How will he fair in room full of estrogen? Rated for language and mild violence. Oneshot.
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,948 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Dante, Trish - Complete
Of Curses and Clichés by Kuroi Diamond reviews
Lady and Dante. Stuck together and more. Your favorite fan-fiction clichés, but as you've never read them before. Dante smartmouths, Lady gets angry. Everyone wins.
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 22,119 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/18/2009 - Published: 1/30/2006 - Dante, Lady/Mary - Complete
More Than A Feeling by CanisLupusHorribilis reviews
Everybody said they were joined at the hip. But only as friends. ...Right? High school story. Leon/Ada
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 50,468 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/17/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Leon S. K., Ada W. - Complete
Financial Diaries of a Devil Hunter by The Joe and Gromit Show reviews
Joe: When devil hunting stops paying the bills, Dante must resort to drastic measures to keep the money in. A series of get rich quick schemes devised by Dante. Please R&R.
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 44,501 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 10/30/2008 - Published: 2/13/2006 - Dante, Trish - Complete
Resident Evil: Devil's Crossroads by Cole Von Doom aka Belthazor reviews
An alternate retelling of RE4. Crossover with Devil May Cry, MGS, and Evil Dead. Leon, along with the help of Rebecca Chambers must retrive the president's daughter. Dante, Ash, and Solid Snake have been lured to Spain as well.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,818 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/24/2008
Summer Camp by Dmc Fan reviews
Dante and Vergil get sent to summer camp. Please review?
Devil May Cry - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,352 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/16/2008 - Published: 9/12/2007
Christmas with The Twins by NDG The Kitty of Darkness reviews
Just an idea I came up with for Christmas Time with Dante and Vergil. Yeah, I know, IT'S SUMMER! Not Christmas..But I wrote this durring Christmas. This is the prequel to my fanfic My Aunt's a Demon
Devil May Cry - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,258 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/30/2007 - Complete
The Proposal by Twilight Scribe reviews
The unimaginable had happened. Dante was drunk. Smashed, wasted, intoxicated, inebriated...
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/25/2006 - Complete
Growing Pains by Ayla Curtis reviews
A collection of moments during the early years of Sparda and his earthly family. AU depending on your POV. Chapter 17 finally done The Anniverary: Side B!
Devil May Cry - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 22,647 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 6/11/2006 - Published: 9/5/2005
Sins and Virtues by Splendid Shadows reviews
They might have been identical twins, but Lady learned different lessons from them. Two parallel sets, one for VxL and another for DxL. R&R if you please!
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,396 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/25/2006 - Published: 2/17/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Victorian England, Revisited reviews
When three modern-day hunters are taken back in time for an unknown reason, they soon learn that not everything is what it seems. Sarah, Lily and Eve have only each other to rely on, and their old tricks are rendered useless. Join these women as they learn about life, love, betrayels and much more. -Might be discontinued-
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,522 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/22/2012 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Sebastian M.
The Queen and I reviews
When Dante's finances begin to look worse. Enzo get him a job working as a butler for a High society English princess. He seems to have taken a shine to her, but can Dante surivive the English and their rules for the princess, and what surprises may come?
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,558 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 12/23/2009 - Dante
Faded Memories reviews
Dante and Vergil go to their old house to clear it out before new people start their adventures there, they soon start remembering their childhood all the good times and the bad,and some secrets are uncovered. RATING MAY CHANGE. No yaio Silver.
Devil May Cry - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,690 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Dante, Vergil
Collage reviews
The memories of the famous S.T.A.R.S alpha team. Chapter 5: BOO!
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,077 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 8/11/2009
Community Service reviews
When Chris Redfield is arrested for drunk driving, he has to do community service. Can he survive? No.. Please R&R Rated T for safety.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,430 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 6/12/2009 - Chris R.
Happy Birthday VampireLover17 reviews
-No description-
Devil May Cry - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 268 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/25/2009
Birthday Party Gone Wrong reviews
Silver, James and Alex's fan and friend has her birthday. But things go awry..
Silent Hill - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
Fathers Day reviews
Sparda had a stressful Fathers Day... his family is going to cheer him up.
Devil May Cry - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 655 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Sparda - Complete
Impossobilites reviews
When Trish and Lady are off for their vacation. Nero is sent in to take care of Dante, when a demon appears and disappears in a blink of an eye, the boys must result to drastic measures to catch it. Will they catch it?
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,586 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/14/2009 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Dante, Nero
The Baby Files reviews
Our faithful Devil Hunter recieves a small 'suprise' on his doorstep...
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,288 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/31/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Dante - Complete
Mother's Day reviews
A small one-shot. Eva loved Mother's Day for just one reason....
Devil May Cry - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Eva - Complete