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Author has written 6 stories for Doctor Who.
I'm a 20 something teen living out of my parents house. I have a computer and chocolate and for the things I don't have, i blame publik edumacation.
I HAVE DECIDED. FOR ALL THE CRAZY THINGS TO DO WITH THE INANIMATE OBJECTS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE, IM GOING TO WRITE A ONE-SHOT FOR EACH. MOST WILL BE WHUMP.
AHHHH WHUMP, THE MOST WONDERFUL WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, APART FROM DENIAL.
Review all or the evil little plot bunnies will come in their droves to your front door...
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
All men are idiots, and I married their king.
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.
Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!
Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young
100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
186,000 Miles/Second: It’s Not Just A Good Idea, It’s The Law!
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!
Oh look! just 2,852,677 more days til i start caring what you think.
Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes
People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
Quiet brain! or I'll poke you with another Q-tip.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Rap Is To Music What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
Reality is a figment of your imagination.
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
Rehab is for quitters.
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH.
Remember My Name – You’ll Be Screaming It Later
S.A.S.R. - Speeders Against Ski Racks
S.C.A.R.Y. (Southern Citizens Advocating the Relocation of Yankees)
S.O.B.E.R. - Sick Of Banning Everyone's Rights
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
Save on gas, go fart in a jar.
Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Seen It All, Done It All, Can’t Remember Most Of It
Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and you stand alone..So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
Some People Are Alive Only Because It’s Illegal To Kill Them
Stop Reading My Bumper Stickers and DRIVE!!
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Stupidity should be punished.
Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit!!.
Support publik edekasion
T.G.I.F Thank God I'm Female.
Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.
Thank You...YOU MAY GO!!
That’s all I'm saying and I ain't saying no more.
The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The good thing about small cars is that you can fit twice as many into a traffic jam.
The More You Complain, The Longer God Makes You Live.
The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.
There are only two things in life you can count on: Death and Taxes.
They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
They told me I was gullible...then they took it out of the dictionary.
They're not hot flashes...they're POWER SURGES!
THINK before you ACT.
This car is designed by computer, built by a robot, driven by a moron.
This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't lost one yet..
This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you'd be dead.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
Unless You're A Hemorrhoid, STAY OFF MY ASS!
Unlike online, in reality, you can’t hit the back button.
Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!
Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Up My Clothes.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
Welcome to reality...come again soon.
Welcome To Shit Creek – Sorry, We’re Out Of Paddles
WHEN GOD MADE MAN, SHE WAS ONLY JOKING.
When I die bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Why did God give beauty queens one more brain cell than horses? So they wouldn't shit on stage.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why do they call it a bumper if your not going to use it?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Wouldn't it be nice if there were an Escape key for all of our problems?
Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Do Own The Whole Damn Road!
You Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot
You are driving to close I can see your bald spot.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
You can pick your nose and pick your friends, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.
I suffer from a sexually transmitted disease: Children
how exactly do plungers get near power lines? was there some fight and i missed it?
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
RCA Television Remote Control
Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Triops Fish Food
Home Depot Treated Lumber
Church Parking Lot Sign
Children's Superman Costume
Silk Soy Milk
Slush Puppy Cup
American Airlines Peanuts
Nabisco Easy Cheese
Swanson TV Dinners
Hershey's Almond Bar
Bag of Fritos:
Bar of Dial soap:
Swann frozen dinners:
Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Nytol sleep aid:
String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
Japanese food processor:
American Airlines packet of nuts:
Korean kitchen knife:
Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
New Zealand insect spray:
Blanket from taiwan:
Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Hand-held Massaging Device
Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
A toilet at a public sports facility
Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists
Container of Underarm Deodorant.
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.
Toner cartridge for a laser printer
13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
Can of self-defense pepper spray.
Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"
A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Heated seat cushion
Electric Cattle Prod
Can of air freshener.
Knife sharpening stone
Dashboard of a mail truck
Children's cough medicine
Sign at a railroad station
Bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Package of dice.
Shipment of hammers
Manual for an SGI computer.
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle
Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
6x10 inch inflatable picture frame
Box of bottle rockets
Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack
Box for a car jack
Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Instructions for a cordless phone:
Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert
Bag of Fritos
Credit card statement.
Laundromat triple washer
Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Box of Pills
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Can of black pepper.
Bag of cat biscuits
Label on a hammer
Black rubber fishing worm
Orange Juice Can:
Depend Adult Diapers
Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet
Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza
Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle
Bottle of bathtub cleaner
Container of lighter fluid
Box of household nails
Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it
Drink bottle label
Woolite carpet cleaner
Box of Frosted Cheerio's
Container of salt
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