Just Another Crappy Writer
hide bio
Poll: Do you like my stories? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 05-11-09, id: 1931898, Profile Updated: 08-26-09
Author has written 2 stories for South Park.

CLICK ON MY HOMEPAGE! THERE ARE HOT NAKED GIRLS ON IT! I GUARANTEE YOU WON'T GET RICK ROLLED!


Once upon a time, in a land far, far away . . there was a girl named Vanessa. She was kind, naive, and had the purest mind you would ever know. She never had a single dirty thought . . Then one day, she came across Fanfiction, and when she saw South Park yaoi, the rest was history.

Shitty Bio That No One Will Read:

My name is Vanessa. But I'd prefer you to call me Just Another Crappy Writer, JACW, Crappy Writer, or whatever else you would like to call me. (No, that doesn't mean you can call me bitch or retard, smart ass.)

I like to read and write. I write crappy stories, but I do it anyway for my own amusement.

I'm a bit sarcastic, I cuss a lot, and I'm not that good at talking about myself. So I might come off as rude, depending on the situation. I try to be nice though, unless you really deserve me being mean to you on purpose. In that case, what are you doing stalking my profile?

Some of my favorite things are SP yaoi (Cartman/Kyle is preferred), iPods, gory horror movies, caramel frappuchinos from Starbucks, iced coffee, rainbows (Not in a gay way, dammit! Who was the smartass who came up with that?), and those little umbrellas you get in your drinks :)

Some of the many things I hate are liars, hypocrites, clingy people, the smell of cigarettes, my own stories, books or movies that are "educational," and people who tALk liK DIs!!1!ONE!!

I usually write angsty romance stories, but I'm trying out other genres. Besides, it's nice to make people laugh instead of cry over something soap opera-y.

Anyways, that's pretty much all you need to know about me and a bag of chips. If you want to get to know me better, just read everything below or PM me. Don't PM if I don't know you though . . That's just fricking creepy.

Other Crap No One Cares About:

Age: Between the ages of twelve to seventeen.

Gender: . . Oh god. Is my name suddenly something a boy would have or are you just retarded?

Favorite Pairings: Cartman/Kyle. I have a couple other favorites, but Cartman and Kyle is my OTP.

Hey! Can I add you on Myspace, deviantart, facebook, youtube, yahoo messenger, etc??

Nope, I don't add people I don't know. Sorry folks.

Stories From The Future:

1. Title: N/A

Summary: There's a new student in class. The thing is, Cartman and Kyle are fighting over her. This can't be good. ONESHOT.

Genre(s): Humor

2. Title: N/A

Summary: The characters from South Park are forced against their will to participate in a reality show by an unknown voice. Why? Because it's pretty damn hilarious! Mulit-chaptered.

Genre(s): Humor

Stereotypes Suck:

Copy and paste into your profile, then bold the ones that apply to you.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be rude.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm CALIFORNIAN, so I MUST be tan and blonde.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I HAVE A FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Blindfold by Homicide-Inside reviews
Craig hates Tweek, bullies him everyday and can't wait to have him gone for good. But even the hardest of hearts have a soft side for everybody. When will Craig find his for the Spaz? He wouldn’t know, and he wouldn’t care. CrEek. In-Progress. Rated T.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 89,077 - Reviews: 332 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 6/1/2011 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Craig T., Tweek T.
Don't Touch Me by Soul Flash reviews
When your life hits an all time low, things can't possibly get any worse, right? Not for Kyle Broflovski. Slash, Kyle/Cartman.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 116,474 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/19/2009 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Eric Cartman, Kyle B. - Complete
Kyle in Chains by DanniDinmont reviews
Kyle has a problem, and it seems that there's only one solution to it. Slash, Kyle/Cartman.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 185,687 - Reviews: 1072 - Favs: 876 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Kyle B., Eric Cartman
You Can Never Go Back by The Brat Prince reviews
Everyone told me I had potential. Everyone thought I’d be a star. No one thought I’d lose my full ride to one of the most prestigious universities in the Northeast Corridor because I partied too hard and just couldn’t finish my degree...Slash, Style.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 103,055 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 11/11/2008 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Drunken Smut by we'll-fade-away reviews
O.O Sole and I are on drugs. ;D T for language and certain...themes.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 315 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Complete
Kyle Goes Bananas by Southern Sunshine reviews
Kyle makes a bet with Cartman that has interesting consequences. Slight Style. Mild comedic slash. Oneshot.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,864 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Kyle B., Eric Cartman - Complete
Short Stories with Tragic Endings by Faery Goddyss reviews
Kenny's final death brings Kyle back to South Park after 11 years of living in California. Little does he or Stan know, but even in death Kenny has plans for his two estranged friends. StanBebe ending in StanKyle. COMPLETE w/ EPI.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 276,896 - Reviews: 817 - Favs: 474 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 3/13/2008 - Published: 7/13/2006 - Kyle B., Stan M.
The Reformation of Kyle Broflovski by Faery Goddyss reviews
When Stan transfers to Kyle's college to be closer to him, he finds Kyle has become increasingly cold, distant, and secretive. The closer Stan comes to uncovering the secret, the farther away Kyle seems... COWRITTEN with Indiana Beach Bum. SLASH. COMPLETE
South Park - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 167,217 - Reviews: 389 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 1/30/2008 - Published: 5/20/2007 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Teaching STYLE to 6th Graders by BroflovskiFan reviews
Courtesy of Indiana Beach Bum AND BroflovskiFan. In a class where there aren't too many expectations, students are about to get far more than they bargained for. Bet your school never taught you this. R&R.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 33,477 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 6/15/2007 - Published: 7/6/2006
After Everything's Said and Done by BroflovskiFan reviews
StanKyle. New feelings are unearthed between the boys when they return to South Park after their first university terms for winter break. Chaos and hilarity ensues.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 67,964 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 8/7/2006 - Published: 4/4/2006 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Eavesdropping reviews
Cartman is good at many things. One of those things is eavesdropping. SUCKY SUMMARY, please don't be discouraged by it. Rated T, so no parents will get mad at me.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Eric Cartman, Kyle B. - Complete
Fanfiction reviews
One day, Mrs. Broflovski gets a link directing her to a Style story . .
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 362 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Sheila B. - Complete
Manager of:
Community: Craig and Tweek
Focus: Cartoons South Park