Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.
If you like my stories let me knoow its been a while since ive been on fanfict but ive been thinking about getting back on
These are just few few fun things i thought I would add
Something everyone should remember:
Emmett is the Strongest,
Edward is the fastest,
But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous.
TOP 8 REASONS WHY INSANIY IS AWSOME:
1. You're never alone. you can make up all the friends you want.
2. It's always easy to find someone to talk to. Inanimate objects are great listeners.
3. You don't need to try at all. People have low expectations of you.
4. You're never homeless. Insane asylums are warm and give you free food.
5. Fun times are easy to find. Pretend to be insane and see how many funny looks people give you on the street.
6. People are nicer when it's "not your fault, you're just crazy."
7. You can get away with anything just by pleading insanity.
8. Clothes aways fit. Straight jakets are one size fits all."
~~10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:
1. Ask For Directions To A Place You're Already At.
2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.
3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.
4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.
5. Try To Sell Your Money.
6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.
7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.
8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.
9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.
10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant
~Things Found Only in America~
1. Only in America - can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America - are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America - do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America - do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America - do banks leave both doors to the vault open & then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America - do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway & put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America - do we use answering machines to screen calls & then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America - do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America - do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America - do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted.
Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile
If you're weird and you're proud of it post this into your profile!!
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
This is really cute and sweet and even writen by a guy, i recieved it in an email as a chain letter and i really want to share it with you guys! If your a girl and you think it's cute and sweet repost it on your profile, if your a guy and you agree with it repost it on your profile!
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
Guys Point of View
You might agree with it but when it actually happens 99 of girls don't even realize until it's too late, and the guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone else who will take notice.
From a guys point of view:
We don't care if you talk to other guys,We don't care if you are friends with other guys, but when you are sitting next to us and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him with out even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little bit concerned. Nothing is that important at 2am that can't wait until the morning.
Also when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/stunning we freaking mean it, Don't tell us we are wrong because we will just stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence, yeah you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open, take advantage of the mood we're in. LET US PAY! DON'T "FEEL BAD"! We enjoy doing it, it's expected, just smile and say "Thank-you"!
Kiss us when no one is watching, If you kiss us when someone is looking we will be even more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we are going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on ever kind of make up you own. We like you for WHO you are, not WHAT you wear. Honestly i think a girl looks more beautiful when she is just in her pj's or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up!
Don't take everything we say seriously, sarcasm is a beautiful thing, see the beauty in it, don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don't talk about how hot Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt and Jesse McCartney are in front of us, it;s boring and we don't care, you have girlfriends for that.
What happened to the work "handsome" or "beautiful"? I would be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey Handsome!" insdead of "Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy" On the other hand I'm not saying I wouldn't like that either.
Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE, DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT! Someone who will honor your morals, someone who will make you smile when you are at your lowest, someone who will love you no matter how bad you make them feel, someone who will stop what they are doing just to look you in the eyes and sau "I love you"... AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!
Give the nice guys a chance!
Girls: If you want to hold his hand gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys: Grab it if it happens more than once.
Girls: When you want to cuddle with him tell him your cold.
Guys: Automatically move closer to her.
Girls: During a movie if he puts his arm around you tilt your head onto his shoulder.
Guys: Lift her chin up and kiss her.
Guys: When she tells you she loves you, give her a peck on the lips and tell her you love her too... AND MEAN IT!
Laying bellow the stars:
Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heartbeat.
Guys: Whisper in her ear and link your hand with hers. Now make a wish about something you would like to happen between you and you crush...
GUYS: NO GRABBING!!
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would try to put the fire out on your house
BEST FRIENDS: Would be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen
FRIENDS: will pick you up when your down
BEST FRIENDS: will push you back down and laugh
FRIENDS: ask why you're crying
BEST FRIENDS: already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
FRIENDS: will say you can do better
BEST FRIENDS: will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
FRIENDS: will help you with your drug problem
BEST FRIENDS: are the ones who sold it to you
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read and then ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Read this and then think next time you decide to steriotype someone also add it to your profile and bold what you are
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.(Dani Is)
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippie.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be lesbian.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.