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Joined 05-12-09, id: 1932816, Profile Updated: 02-25-13

Eh, not much to say really. I'm pretty new to the whole fan fiction thing, just had a few ideas I thought I'd put out for all of you to enjoy or ridicule, whichever you wish.

My update schedule is... I don't have one, I update whenever I have the time. Not having my own computer kinda sucks. Trying to remedy that... UPDATE: For updates, check out my livejournal, delkion . livejournal . com. Just remove the spaces and you should be good.

Let's see, what do I say about myself... Well, I'm a gamer, have been since the NES. Super Mario World and Metroid back then, Modern Warfare and Mass Effect now. Though if I've got my DS on me, I'm probably playing Pokemon, so yeah. Old hobbies don't just die hard, they're freakin' immortal in my case. I can watch Texas Chainsaw massacre and eat chili without so much as an intestinal gurgle, but make me watch a surgical scene in ER and I'm liable to hurl on your shoes. I'm a House fanatic (I'm actually watching a House marathon as I type this). I have, in fact, been known to take an entire weekend to watch my Season 1-5 DVDs. In short, I am a massive nerd, and damn proud of it.

My fan fiction views... Violence is golden. Fight-scenes should be quick and dirty, not long and drawn out. Don't get me wrong, I love an epic battle as much as the next guy, but you don't need one for every damn fight. Sometimes, a quick five minute blood brawl is better than a four hour shouting spree (I'm lookin' at you DBZ...). God-like power is unacceptable without an equally god-like weakness. Let's use my all-time favorite manga as an example, Father and the homunculi are immortal. Partially. They have that awesome ability so long as they have souls in their philosopher's stones. So the solution is to kill them a lot, until they run out of fuel. God-like power, God-like weakness. Another example, I have the God-like power to eat an entire Luigi's Texas size pizza on my own AND maintain my "So skinny its unhealthy" size. My God-like weakness? Well, if I told you that, you may use it against me. I'm onto you. Back to the fan fics, I'm all for pairing fics, In fact some of my favorites are pair fics. But people, please for the love of God, ENOUGH with the damn "I have nothing in my life but you" crap. I have never been in a relationship, I'll admit to that. But I pay attention to my friends and family, and let me tell you: I've never seen one like that. Sure, they're devoted to each other, but when they're apart, not every thought is of their partner. In some of those cases, they have to be actively reminded they HAVE a partner, but I digress... OC's can either make or break a fic. I have read a dozen or so fics that OC's were handled beautifully, and fit perfectly. I have read a hundred fics where they were not. OC's are just that, original characters. They still have to obey the rules of the world you enter them into unless you outright say so otherwise. I have seen too many fics where the OC was just an excuse to teach Naruto to be all powerful. Its not only uber cliched, its downright unbelievable.

I am sorry to inform fans of To Exist that it has been postponed until such a time as I have the time to do a complete rewrite. I'm sorry, but I have alot on my plate and not enough time to do it all. To Exist was the fic that I have lost interest in, and I think its time for it to go. I will revisit it, but for now, it must die. I hope you will all understand.

My favorite anime/manga list. You know, cause anyone actually CARES what the hell I watch/read:

Naruto (I prefer the manga, the anime has been bitch-slapped by filler. And most of it sucks. The stuff that isn't filler is good though.)

Bleach (Same as above)

Full Metal Alchemist (This ones weird. I love both the original anime and the manga. Love in this case means "I've seen the anime movie twelve times in total and read the manga five." The new anime is... not my favorite. Yeah.)

Black Lagoon (A rare case of anime being equal with the manga. The manga has a slight lead in that there's more of it.)

D. Gray-man (Manga. Period.)

Break Blade (Manga and OVA. One of the best handled mecha series out there, seriously.)

Gundam: All of them [In all of their forms. Favorites include Ecole du Ciel, SEED (sue me), 08th MS Team (freaking awesome), and 00. Oh, and SD Gundam Force, which has eluded me for far too long. Anyone who can point me in the direction of all 52 episodes, in the original Japanese with subs gets a freaking character in any fic I write, so help me God.]

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

Music, eh. I run the gamut from classic rock to death metal. And country music. Favorite band is Disturbed. Just got Asylum, and aside from having one of the most epic album covers ever, its also one of my favorite.

Books, since most of America doesn't read them. Science Fiction is the bane of my existence. Give me a copy of Asimov and you'll never get me out of the damn chair. And anything from the Black Library, those gods of bloody, gruesome war. Favorite book is Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, favorite series is Gaunt's Ghosts by Dan Abnett.

Movies, the gorier the better. In fairness, if its decent I'll watch it. I'd prefer if it involved a large amount of carnage, but sometimes its nice to sit down with a kids movie, or watch a comedy. Or the old Godzilla movies, greatest thing ever if you're bored on a Saturday. Favorite movie is Aliens. Ripley ftw.

Quotes, because its almost mandatory.

"You'd best unfuck yourself or I'll unscrew your head and shit down your neck!" If you need to be told who this is, kick yourself in the ass, then go watch Full Metal Jacket. Now.

"When life gives me lemons, I squeeze lemon juice in life's eye and tell it to go fuck itself and die in a corner." Me

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Naruto: Soldiers of Fortune by Kenchi618 reviews
AU in a more modern urban setting. Will be EPIC in length. Things aren't as they appear in this world. With a normal life out of reach, can Naruto figure out the mysteries that surround his existence and survive long enough to cash in on the potentially lucrative (and dangerous) career path of the mercenary? ...Either way it beats actually working for a living. NarutoxFem. Kyuubi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 414,960 - Reviews: 1637 - Favs: 2,289 - Follows: 1,967 - Updated: 4/18/2016 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Twisted Sunshine by The Cannibal Sammich reviews
The story of a simple Mercenary attempting to avenge her partner's death during a routine job, and the terrorist cell who took that life. There will be blood, love, lust, and plot twists for everyone. At the moment, I'm focusing mostly on the terrorist cell, but it will be drawn together soon. Pinky swear.
Zoids - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,391 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/20/2012 - Published: 6/2/2011
Fourth Wall: the Sequel by The Man in the White Coat reviews
A tale that has yet to be told, but waiting realization. If the main characters can get there, that is. The sequel to Fourth Wall! Kind of . . .
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 2/23/2012 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Chakra over Magic by P-A-P-E-R-Stars-989 reviews
A mission goes awry as Team 7 are sent from their home to a place they are not familiar with: Hogwarts. Naruto/HP crossover! Sasuke/Sakura Naruto/Hinata. Rated for language.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 33,972 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 7/11/2011 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Harry P., Naruto U.
Fourth Wall? What Fourth Wall? by The Man in the White Coat reviews
Join me as I attempt to write the greatest Naruto fan ficiton ever! Of course, it would be easier if the protagonist did not know he was in a fan fiction and refused to cooperate
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 35,747 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 6/25/2011 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Blind Love by Cerino the Ultimate Ninja reviews
What if the sealing caused Naruto to go blind? And what if a couple years later the Kyuubi truly regreted what she did and gave him a bloodline that gave him back his eye's. Main Pairing: Naruto/Kyuubi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,679 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 456 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Balance by Wishingonmy reviews
"I-I'm just useless..." He wiped away her tears and smiled. "That makes two of us." First Naruto fanfic, three OCs. In the Shippuden era, pre-episode 126. NO LONGER UPDATING. TO BE REDONE.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,157 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Hinata H., Naruto U. - Complete