Manelli Swan
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Joined 05-14-09, id: 1935135, Profile Updated: 12-31-11

Hi

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run my little retarded friend, run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

im a little obbessed with twilight... okay so thats an understatement... i like bow to the book sometimes, and i never put it on the floor or and dirty table tops.. yes i know shes a freak but hey can u blame me for falling in love with twilight.

╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too.

´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• тωιℓιgнт •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• ηєω мσση •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• є¢ℓιρѕє •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•вяєαкιηg ∂αωη•´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•мι∂ηιgнт ѕυη•´¨»
¸.•(¸.•´ •.¸)•.¸

TEAM EDWARD- BECAUSE ALL DOGS BELONG IN THE POUND!(TEAM EDWARDDDD)

If you think Jacob is pathetic and needs to give up on Bella plus go jump off a cliff (or whatever he has to to die), copy and paste this in your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice, Golden Eyed Vampire, vampgurl15,

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.

If you've practically memorized Chapter 20 (Compromise) of Eclipse, put this on your profile.

If everytime you hear thunder you think or say "well someone got a home run", copy and paste this into your profile

I agree when people say girls rule now and 4ever. Copy & paste this in your profile if you agree

If you wish you could meet all your favorite celabritys, copy and past this on your profile

If you have ever given off the allusion of being drunk when you weren't, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've ever pulled on a door that said push or vise versa, copy and paste this into you profile.

If you consider your family strange, but love them anyway, put this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

I ran with scissors, and lived!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

Something everyone should remember: Emmett is the strongest. Edward is the fastest. Rosalie is more beautiful than you could ever be. Bella has Edward. But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous.

I have OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder.

PROUD TO BE A BRUNETTE! (Edward prefers them. Take that, blondes!)

I thought I had found my Edward Cullen... but it was just another idiot with fangs.

If Edward Cullen was real, I'd like, totally stalk him.

WARNING: Having a vampire boyfriend may be hazardous to your health. (Not that you'd care.)

TWILIGHT: noun, 1. period between afternoon and nighttime 2. the first textually transmitted disease.

THANKS TO TWILIGHT, now if that certain boy seems to ignore me, it's only because he's a vampire, and he's polite enough to try and resist my blood.

Twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight. What obsession?

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Jacob Black - I HATE HIM!! how could anyone be so so so... HORRID!? He should just leave Edward and Bella alone. Sheesh, why can't he get he
get the message - I think Rosalie should have killed him in those 3 days Bella was 'burning', then just blame it on Charlie finding him in
the woods and shooting him or something like that - everyone would've have been happier then!

Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

asic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

If you like chocolate as much as I do (which is ALOT), copy this in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. So does Jasper... maybe Carlisle? Nope, he likes brunettes too. Try Emmett.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is Carlisle Cullen get those apples the hell away from me!!

Hogwarts

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … would prefer less jokes about his time of the month

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her that she does.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘Old Guy’ or ‘Dumby’.

Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.

Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.

Narcissa Malfoy ... made up the nickname Lucious Mouthful

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Ravenclaws… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Hufflepuffs … will get hold of a flying carpet.

Things that make you feel good:

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A smile from a stranger
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Your favourite milkshake
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation with a person you don't know
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss.
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate on a cold night rugged up with a blanket
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies, and eating half the batter before their even in the oven
37. Having your friends send you something homemade.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunset
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Hearing someone misses you just when you were thinking you missed them.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

ME

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people only talk to for the answers, and I teach them.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that aren't "normal".
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on taking pictures of herself, or talking to a boyfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out.

I am the girl that shops for books, not mini-skirts

BUT

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and wonder at the rain.

I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is,
I am the girl who doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),
I am the girl who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time for any more,
I am the girl who can express herself better with words than actions
I am the girl who doesn't need a guy to complete her
I am the girl that knows the importance of the little things.
I am the girl who knows what it's like to be passionate about a story, to immerse yourself in another world and love it, to be so involved in a book that you can have conversations about the same thing over and over with different people and debate about who is a better character. To read fanfiction, and know it was written by people that love the same thing exactly like you do.
I am the girl that has real friends, all over the world, through her fandoms

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:

Iheartjake1220,
FaerieRose13,
Dancer4Life15,
Marigold Winters,
SparklingTopazEyes,
MysticMoon24,
KatyCullen09,

Maneli Swan

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar (the greatest thing ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason.
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
You are constantly distracted by the thought 'that would make a great story! maybe if I...'

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough for you to listen when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat,
only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours,
instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize..
I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry
anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me
for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it,
I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you
and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you
instead of spending time with my family.

I'm sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish
that guy was different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future's never set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly.
5. True love knows no boundaries, weather they're species or centuries
6. Some people are just danger magnets. You'll learn to live with it.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Lambs and Lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo and Juliet didn't have to end in death.
26. Twilight is the best time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.
31. It's really hard, but love makes everything worth the fall

(Why the people around me,can't see these...?)

20 Random Things About Twilight and a Few Extra Stuff.

1.Whenever you're in a difficult situation you think to yourself "What would Edward do?" Then you think "Go to Italy" and laugh to yourself.
2. Sometimes you think the Volturi are watching you.
3. Sometimes you think it's cool that the Volturi are watching you.
4. Whenever you make an accurate prediction you think "Ohhh! I'm just like Alice!" And feel all proud :D
5. You no longer make blond jokes from fear of hurting Jasper, Rosalie, or Carlisle's feelings.
6. Whenever someone makes an innuendo you totally think of Emmett.
7. Whenever you're really happy or calm you think "Jasper's here! I can sense him."
8. Whenever somebody mentions pillows or feathers you can't help but giggle.
9. Whenever you get a paper cut you think "Wow... this is what caused all the torment in New Moon... overreaction much?"
10. Whenever you see twins you think "There lucky they weren't burned at the stake...poor Jane, and Alec...well at least their sadistically cool"
11. You spend every available moment on the computer reading or writing fanfictions.
13. Instead of saying "Run Forest Run" whenever you see someone running you put on a thick southern accident and say "Run Jasper Run!"
14. Sometimes whenever you have private thoughts you worry there's a mind-reading vamp around to hear them.
15. Every time you see a Volvo you scream, "Edward!"
16. Your life-long dream is to be a vampire.
17. And then move to Forks.
18. Whenever you hear dogs howling you think "the wolves are calling to me!"
19. Whenever someone asks you to do something you mumble, "Sure, sure."
20. You're totally gonna re-post this to show your love of Twilight!

0 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

4. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

5. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

6. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.

7. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

8. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.

9. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

10. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

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Remember What Came Before by fluppy reviews
Sequel to 'A Faire To Remember'. Bella is back in her own time, but so is someone else - who doesn't belong there! Lemons. Rated M for VERY adult themes...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 25 - Words: 54,427 - Reviews: 540 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 607 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14194 - Favs: 15,103 - Follows: 8,249 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Faire To Remember by fluppy reviews
Complete! Edward and Bella romance. Bella Swan is dragged back to a time of knights and ladies, and a chauvanistic Edward Cullen. Can she pierce the armour around his heart even as things spiral violently out of control? Lemon's 21, 23 and 26!AU AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 37 - Words: 87,089 - Reviews: 693 - Favs: 684 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 10/5/2009 - Published: 5/19/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Dear Stranger by Thalia Airla reviews
They had been friends ever since they could remember. They had spent almost all daylights in one another's company since he moved in next door. But now that her feelings are changed, everything will never be the same again.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 33 - Words: 67,523 - Reviews: 430 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I am Edward Cullen’s Fiancée by Selene11 reviews
“What exactly do you want me to do?" "You would be working as my fiancée." “Fiancée? Is this some sort of a joke? Am I on TV? Who would hire someone to act as his fiancée?” “Me.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 93,786 - Reviews: 2482 - Favs: 1,604 - Follows: 649 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Nearly by nickygillian reviews
Bella moves to Forks. The Cullen and Swan families don't get along. Star crossed love. AU all human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 47 - Words: 112,478 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Bella, Edward
Ten Reasons Why I Hate Jacob Black by sugarhigh123 reviews
These are 10 reasons why I hate Jacob. Probably not for Jacob lovers, unless you want your flames to be used to help burn Jacob in hell. Definitely for Edward lovers, though. Funny and creative, I hope. Die Jacob, die!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 310 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Complete