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Joined 05-15-09, id: 1935339, Profile Updated: 12-01-15
Author has written 12 stories for Naruto, and Iron Fey Series.

You are here.

Welcome to Rizember’s profile… A place of wonder, pointlessness and the occasional psychotic tendency.

27/11/2015: FALLING FOR HIM IS UP AND FREE ON AMAZON! Get yourself a free copy :)

LINK HERE: Falling for Him

QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT (03/06/15): DARN. Been years, huh? Blame ReyaKinght.

To those sending PMs and reviews asking about my absence, thanks so much! Y'all are (still) sweet.

11/11/2015: Hey guys, I'm halfway done with my Masters. I was highest in my class (Yay me) and I'm the only girl (double yay).

Anyway, like I've said before, I write original stories as well and I modified a lot of them for fanfiction e.g. Falling for him, The four seasons, paradise lost, destined, kda

I will be publishing these as time goes by. What's okay for fanfiction isn't necessarily okay for the world and I feel really bad about how I haven't improved the stories as I've grown and I apologize for that.

For anyone interested in reading the books and maybe leaving reviews on Amazon (where I will be putting them up), please PM me and I will send you a free copy as soon as it's done. If you prefer the fanfic version, I can send it once my KDP select days are up.

If you're also interested in being a Beta for the original fics (TFS Origin story), see above (the bit about the PM).

Wish me luck.

(I am a spy page break. I saw you poking your nose)

Name: Refer to pen name.

Age: Getting ancient.

Political Views: None whatsoever.

Religion: Christian. I won't judge your religion. I won't judge your beliefs. I won't judge you.

Quotes by My family and Friends (Updated 27/02/2012)

Dad *in elevator, sees his colleagues yelling for him to hold the elevator. He quickly pushes the 'close-door' button, smiles and waves: Bye guys!
Me: That's mean.
Dad: The stairs will do them some good.

Dad: Its really bad.
Me: What happened?
Dad: Shit happened.


Suwi: how do you ride a bike at night?
Dad: you climb on and start peddling...and then you fall into a ditch. It's easy.

Dad: you unruly children.
Me: I resent that. I'm ruly.


Me: I want him to get struck by lightning. We should do a rain dance.


Kazya *trying to make sure I don't upload any new fics seeing as how I haven't finished most of the ones I already have up yet: Don't. Do. It.
Me: But I can't help it! Every time something happens, I wanna write a new fic!
Kazya: Dude, your life isn't as interesting as you'd like to think it is. WHAT things happen? Breezes blowing by?
Me: I hate you.

Dad: I'll make you my friends on Facebook so I see what you write.
Me: Er, I just deactivated mine.
Dad: when?
Suwi: just now.

Bow: How can I make it up to you.

Me: Pass me the knife.

My Cousin's Facebook status: OMG! LOL!
Me: ABC!

Me: it was equivalent to desperately holding pee in only for someone to teleport you into an ocean surrounded by rumbling waterfalls and trickling fountains...and then tell you that you STILL can't pee.
Kazya: That metaphor was highly unnecessary.


Dad *finding me on my iPad, online, at 6 in the morning: What you have is an addiction to the Internet. Google "internet addiction".

Monty Python (Frenchman): I fart in your general direction.

Me: I carry in my hands an invitation to go fuck yourself. Have fun.

Suwi*playing splinter cell: what do I do?
Me: get the gun.
Suwi: then what?
Me: go shoot someone.


Mwansa *after being told not to put a plastic bowl in the microwave: I know! do you really think I'm that stupid?
Ashen: you underestimate just how stupid I think you really are.

Me: the cops? Please. They couldn't find their pricks with both hands and GPS, the bums.

Mum *when I was sick: I'll give you a pen and paper to write down every time you go to the bathroom so I know you took your medication each time.
Me: Don't you think recording my bowel movements is abit much?
Mum: I'll go get you a pen.
Mwansa: I had a dream. And it was horrible. What if Martin Luther King said that?
I will love you genuinely.
I will love you deeply.
I will love you forever.
I am doing it right now.- Riz poems extract, 2010

Mwansa *my friend, a guy, talking about prison rape: if a man wanted to try to rape me, he'd be amazed how tightly I'd clench my butt cheeks. I'd be like, sorry man, no through way.

Me: I go where the chocolate goes.
Gene: If it has tits or tires, it's bound to give you trouble.
Mwape: we should really thank toilets. We should have World Toilet Appreciation day.
Me: isn't that like every day?
Mwape *ignoring me: they take a lot of shit from us and never complain. They just deal with it and wait for the next person...
Me: Why am I still listening to you?
Me *at breakfast, talking to myself: As she ate the bread, she prayed to the dieting gods to forgive her.

Charity *showing me a drawing: See?
Me: A duck?
Char: it's a cow!
Me: are you sure?
Char *moves to show her roommate Chichi: what's this?
Chichi: a chicken.

Lusaka Radio DJ: I hate winter. Especially when I'm walking and someone asks me for the time. Then I have to remove my hands from my warm pockets for them. I hate it.
Radio DJ 2: oh come on-
Radio DJ 1: no, I mean it. Besides, if you don't have a watch, then you're not going anywhere. Take your time.

Me *giving lecture to cat who's staring at my door, trying to get out: Next time, don't enter my room without asking, okay?
Cat *still staring at door: Meow.

Terrance: Any bright ideas?
Kazya: bulb's over there. *points*

If I love you enough to die for you, you should love me enough to stop me-
extract, Riz poetry collection, 2010

If, going up to heaven's gates
I miss you on the way,
I'll stubbornly defy the fates
And still this very day- Riz poetry extract, 2011


Me: some people could care less. I am not one of those people. I have reached the lowest possible level of caring there is.

Ashen: I'm not sure you understand how stupid you sound.

Mwansa: I’m not lazy. I'm harnessing my chi.

Me: slow down, you'll run over someone.
Dad: that's okay.
Me: you'll end up in jail.
Dad: at least it'll be a break from you kids.
Me: people get raped in jail...
Dad: people get raped everywhere.


Me: that's cheating and it's just unfair to everyone else.
Dad: it's called being smart. Everyone else is just stupid.

Me *stuck in traffic with my dad: You should get a siren on your car and we could pretend to be an ambulance. People would let us through.
Dad: That's illegal… But a great idea.

Kazya: I'm not sure but ever since we broke up, every time she says my name she manages to make it sound like an insult.
Mwape: you mean it's not?

Me *late at night, sleepy & on fb: have you seen the time?!
Ashen: No why? Did it get a new dress?

Me: What are you watching?
Becky: Harry Potter and the prisoner in that Cabana. Or something.

Mom *after she bought a rabbit and a chicken: I forgot to tell your father that it laid an egg this morning.
Suwi: the rabbit?
Mom: I hope you're not sitting on the loaf bread of bread. Bread doesnt taste nice when it loses shape.
Me: huh?
Mom: the butter refuses to stick to it.
Me: Uh...I don't think so...
Mom: but it's true.

Becky *when Harry kissed Cho: When did this wizard learn how to kiss?
Me: Thats what I said!

Me: I'm gluing my ass to that seat and no one is gonna move me!
Michelle: what happens when nature calls?
Me: I'll ignore it. How did it get my number anyway?

Kapelwa: if a black man had been first on the moon, those first words would have been different. I'd have been like: SUCK IT, BITCHES! I'M MOONWALKING!

Becky: I wonder what my night will be like...
Me: Full of darkness and a general lack of sun.

Tilly *to Becky: For your sake I hope Jesus has a sense of humour.

Bubala: why are you packing your books on my bum?
Me: it's the flattest piece of furniture here.

"To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the
pencil, you're overdoing it."
-- Josh Jenkins

What did you find if you found a Blonde skeleton in a crawl space??
1968 Hide & seek champion

Isaac *Facebook status: Let's watch a scary movie *several hours later* dude, walk me to the kitchen.
Me: the scary movie...Avatar.
Isaac: You and blue movies...
Me: Pervert. I meant the last airbender.
Isaac: you and farting...
Me: I can't win with you...*rolls eyes*
Isaac: you and modesty

Me *to Ashen: In the NarutoVerse, the Uchiha version of FaceBook would be SmirkBook.
Ashen: That's given me an idea for a fic.
Me: MINE! *proceeds to write new fic*


Me *frequently: Dude, you suck.


Shadow’s cat: Way to go, riz. Like a boss.

Me: I’m tha bowss.


Gene: Look, it doesn’t matter who beeped who…what matters is that beeping occurred.


Ashen *email to shadow’s cat: We will rob from the rich and rob from the poor and just when the middle class are feeling safe, we’ll rob from them too.


Dad: It's really bad.

Me: What happened?

Dad: Shit happened.


Aggy: Don’t panic. The test is tomorrow.


Ashen: It took alot of balls to do what he did.

Me: If only he’d kept a pair for himself.


Lawliet S: Whatever it is, he looks hot doing it.


Me: That cloud’s pretty special huh?

Ashen: Have we run out of things to talk about?


Aggy: You mean now?

Me: Anything wrong with this particular time of day?


Ashen: That’s a half-assed idea.

Me: The other half will be in tomorrow.


Me: Are you still thinking about it?

Ashen: No, I gave my brain the day off.


Ashen: Soon he’ll surpass even your level of idiocy.

Me: And then he’ll try catch up to yours.


Kapelwa *to Seche: Dude! You're using my fork!

Seche: Fork you.

Kapelwa: ...


Me: I’m a shy person. Everyone knows that.

Muyembe: You sure talk a lot of smack for a shy person.


Trevor *retelling twilight to his niece: And then the wolves phased and there was glitter, hair gel and rainbow vampire ass flying all over the place...


Gene: Lemme guess...you're awesome?

Me: Wow. It's like you're psychic.


Me*to Char about our coming exam: We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.

Charity *laughing: You mean we’ll –cross- it.

Me: No.

(I am a profile page break. Yeah, I am.)


e.g. (I am a Deidara page break. Me go boom.)

The only people allowed to use them are:

-SHADOW’S CAT (cause I beta for her. (-cough- or used to) She’s sweet.)





ALSO: Personalised review prompts are mine


For pictures of Sasuke doing the macarena, press 1

For digital proof of Naruto's sordid affair with ramen, press 2

For world domination and a smoothie, press 3

For "why the hell aren't the above buttons working", click the review button below and leave a message.

My mate, Ashen Warrior, has a community purely for people who want to review. This comm is for fics we think are awesome and deserve more reviews. If you think your story falls under this category, we will read AND review it but I suggest you do the same and well, join the comm so you can help other people get what they deserve (and shamelessly get more reviews for your own work too, hehe). We keep it mature, no flames...

It's called "Wraith's Reviews" and I'm not sure of the limit of staff but think: if we have 100 staff members and all of them review a story, won't that make the author feel all good and teary inside? Sure, we write cause we love it but we also want to know how we're doing

otherwise putting it up on the internet would be absolutely pointless...

If you wanna get in touch for whatever reason, be it death threats, greetings or even WTFs...just PM me.

Alright…that’s it with the profile for now. (That'll do pig. That'll do)



Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

In Good Company by weialala reviews
This will sound a little ridiculous, no matter how Sasuke phrases it. "I see dead people" is embarrassingly tacky, and "I'm half-spirit" seems like something Sakura might say when she's stoned sky high. So he settles for a shrug.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 38,171 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 536 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 4/13/2014 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Sasuke U.
Shizuka na Sonata by Paradoxical Paradigm reviews
Naruto's world is one of silence, yet his passion is sound. He's grown up believing in his own power, but this is one fight he can't win alone. Society is none too kind. He can't compose this sonata alone. Not this silent sonata. [Sasu Naru]
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 181,847 - Reviews: 1456 - Favs: 1,174 - Follows: 1,126 - Updated: 12/15/2012 - Published: 2/9/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Wanted: Perfect Mommy Candidate by Loki.1827 reviews
Sasuke, a single father, started having problems when his 5 year old son Itachi asked for a mom. And it became a bigger issue when his son chose a perfectly male blond. Matchmaking and chaos courtesy of a five year old ensue. SasuNaru. AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 42,010 - Reviews: 1087 - Favs: 1,726 - Follows: 1,993 - Updated: 8/21/2012 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Crushing on You by Sour Queen reviews
I, Uzumaki Naruto, am finally at my desperation point to fall in love. And because of said desperation point, I have fully drawn out a list of totally dateable people to try and I HAVE to fall for one of them before I reach Sasuke's name..AU. SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 26,009 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
My swan princess by ChosenMibhar reviews
Deidara dates Hinata for sixty days to prove he's straight. Hinata goes along with it in hopes of ensnaring her precious Naruto-kun but she gets more than she bargained for! Off Hiatus
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,534 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Hinata H., Deidara
This year by 2much4dis reviews
This is a dedicated fic. It's more Gaalee then anything but SasuNaru is equally shown. When 2 drinken men get into a fight Gaara decides to play a little prank on Sasuke and accidentaly gets himself invovled by ordering 2 brain dead sex dolls. Yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,161 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/16/2012 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
The Demon Lovers by Sailor Sunset reviews
It started with a shower... and ended with those blue eyes, captivating and rendering him senseless. SasuFemNaru
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 65,908 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 1/23/2012 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Dead Last by rosesareblue reviews
To win a warped bet, Sasuke crossdresses as a schoolgirl. A misogynist, he sees NO advantage in being a girl, till he meets the vocal of Konoha's hottest band. In order to woo a certain dobe, Sasuke must learn the darkest female arts: fangirling. BL.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 72,096 - Reviews: 2855 - Favs: 1,708 - Follows: 2,028 - Updated: 9/22/2011 - Published: 6/28/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Say by selandora reviews
This time, Sakura will fight against Sasuke. Because this time, Naruto's the one at stake. narusakusasu
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 54,416 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 9/13/2011 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Color Theory by BlueGreenApples reviews
Canon. SasuSaku. Red was the color of passion, womanhood. Pink was the shade of little girls and delicate things. Next to Karin, Sakura felt like a washed-out imitation.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 95,052 - Reviews: 2945 - Favs: 3,342 - Follows: 2,753 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Online! by Juura99 reviews
Naruto is hooked on an MMORPG game. He has tons of friends there and spends almost all his free time playing. However, he's never met a single friend in person. He doesn't mind, but then one of them wants to meet him in person. What should he do? SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 40 - Words: 209,362 - Reviews: 2203 - Favs: 1,598 - Follows: 674 - Updated: 5/19/2011 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Give Me Shelter by Rasengan22 reviews
Sasuke's roommate goes away for the summer, leaving Naruto as a highly recommended temporary replacement.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 49,864 - Reviews: 621 - Favs: 514 - Follows: 643 - Updated: 5/11/2011 - Published: 6/1/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Nova Cupiditas by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash. Nova Cupiditas is the curse that causes one to hunger after an enemy. There's no cure. And now someone has cursed Draco to hunger after Harry Potter. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 29 - Words: 123,594 - Reviews: 1519 - Favs: 1,569 - Follows: 683 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 9/16/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Let It Snow by FastForward reviews
The last thing Sasuke wanted to do for Christmas was be stuck in the middle of nowhere with buckets of snow and an annoying neighbour who won't leave him alone. NaruSasu.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 94,718 - Reviews: 856 - Favs: 1,300 - Follows: 466 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 12/27/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Imitating Myself by Late-Sleeper-sama reviews
Naruto had enough of Sakura's rejection...it's time for payback. The plot is to humilate her so they hired a lowlife raven head to impersonate Sakura's dream guy Sasuke Uchiha...but what they didn't know that it was Sasuke himself. Sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,963 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 389 - Updated: 10/25/2010 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Love, Free as Air by Lomonaaeren reviews
SSHPDM slash. Harry, trapped in his Animagus form, stumbles upon Draco and Snape, who are trapped in a decaying relationship. All three of them will have to become more human. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 89,884 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 746 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Friend Like You by Cheryl Dyson reviews
This fic is a sequel to a fic by LadyVaderWrites called Friend Like Me. Go read it. ANGST WARNING LIKE WHOA. TAKE TISSUE. YOU WILL CRY. You might cry when you read this one, too, but don't read it unless you read hers first. Posted with permission.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,715 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 402 - Follows: 49 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Friend Like Me by LadyVaderWrites reviews
Draco's rendition of the Love story that never was. This is my BABY, it broke me to write, please be nice to it and please, please review. Written preHBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,212 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 733 - Follows: 88 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Jumping to Conclusions by Juura99 reviews
Naruto works in a crappy job, gets a crappy salary and has pretty much a crappy life. But one thing makes it worth it. Sasuke. It makes it all worth it to see his face every day- WHAT THE HELL IS SASUKE DOING ON THE ROOF! SasuNaru. T for mild language.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,258 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Mixed Communication by Kaiyousama reviews
Sometimes its not a lack of understanding thats the problem - it's that the other person understands far too much. With unexpected results. That your best friend is too busy snickering about to help you out with. SasuNaru, ItaDei, AU, Lemons
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 93,972 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Take My Hand by shadow's cat reviews
A one-shot concerning famous Naruto pairings, and their stuggles. Loosely based on Simple Plan's 'Take My Hand'. Co-written with Ashen Warrior.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,642 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/7/2010 - Naruto U., Kakashi H.
Of Gravity and Hair Ties by ncfan reviews
A game of tag ends in an awkward moment.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Byakuya K., Yoruichi S. - Complete
OBGYN Hell by Psychotic Dreamers reviews
Sasuke didn't think anything good could come of being forced to escort Sakura to her Obstetrician appointment; thank goodness Dr. Uzumaki is more than happy to save Sasuke from this hell.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,006 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 22 - Published: 5/6/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Touch by Pensulliwen reviews
“I said I won’t touch you.” It was like a game; him trying to make her crack, her refusing to yield to him. “Not until you’re begging me for it.” Noah Allen/Lenalee, kink meme.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,899 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 58 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee - Complete
The Night The Blossom Cried by xXFoxy Scorpion BlossomXx reviews
Sakura and Naruto have two daughters but one fateful night one is kidnaped. Naruto decideds not to let thier other daughter know. but one evening the meet. What will happen and who kidnaped her? Join us in The Night Blossom Cried!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,268 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Sakura H., Naruto U.
No More by CrimsonAccent reviews
Sasuke I'm done chasing you. Set sometime after Jiraiya's death and Taka joining Akatsuki.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 640 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Published: 1/3/2010 - Naruto U. - Complete
Hatred Knows No Bounds by CrimsonAccent reviews
Instead of Itachi attacking Sasuke at the inn he grabbed Naruto and ran. Under Itachi's and the rest of the Akatsuki's teachings Naruto's learned to hate, and he's set that hate on the place that hates him most, Konoha. Dark Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 43,172 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Naruto U., Itachi U.
Ten Steps by Digitallace reviews
Harry seeks the unlikely help of Draco Malfoy to give a boost to his love life, but as usual, things aren’t always what they seem. Explicit content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 100,096 - Reviews: 1918 - Favs: 1,735 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
In your shoes by Lisea18 reviews
When Dobe is Bastard and Bastard is Dobe, chaos is sure to follow. Naru/Sasu.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,918 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 407 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 11/7/2009 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
House of Masks by Digitallace reviews
Harry had the feeling that once he stepped through those doors, his life would be irrevocably changed. Explicit content warning.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,953 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 493 - Follows: 44 - Published: 11/5/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Cake & Kisses by Acherona reviews
At the age of five Sasuke found his angel, the one he wanted to make his bride. Unfortunately the object of his affection doesn’t seem to share his feelings…How does an Uchiha woo an unruly blond? SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,230 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 643 - Follows: 76 - Published: 10/8/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Trophy by Digitallace reviews
DM/HP-Scoundrel, libertine, whore: words often used to describe Draco Malfoy, but what happens when the man who seeks only to conquer new lovers, gets bored and chooses a more difficult target? Will Harry give into Malfoy or will Draco be left wanting?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 78,761 - Reviews: 1071 - Favs: 1,176 - Follows: 483 - Updated: 9/4/2009 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Morning by darkalbino reviews
The kind that could only be so perfect with you. SasuNaru, PWP, oneshot, lemon -very lighthearted and playful- Early birthday present for FallenKarma.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,676 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 19 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Frozen by Pandora Culpa reviews
When a mission in the wilderness goes awry, Ed and Roy are forced to share a sleeping bag for warmth- with questionable results. Written for the fma ihop kinkmeme
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,667 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 26 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Usual by TrappedInHappiness reviews
Oneshot.. Title says it all.. It's usual actually. Sasuke is back and did his time. Now it's time to go back to their usual lifes. But will everything be the same for Team 7? What Sasuke wants from Naruto? SasuNaru, Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,773 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Sargasso by That.Other.Boleyn.Girl reviews
Over the years, a childhood friendship between two young boys threatens to become something darker, passionate, and much more destructive. SasuNaru, Three-Shot, AU, yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,718 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Jiraiya's New Book by RomanticVoltaire reviews
Jiraiya has a plan and Kakashi is in on it. But what do the two pervy nins want with Naruto and Sasuke? And what happens when Sasuke nearly dies on a mission? Read and find out! YAOI you have been warned.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,929 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/24/2009 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Many Loves of Mari Su by xenu1275 reviews
Someone accused me of making a Mary Sue. I'll show them . . . This is pure crack. Feel free to flame it, though if you can't tell it's a joke then I won't really take your opinion very seriously.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,577 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Lady of the Lake vs Sir Bedivere by Lunar-Sol-42 reviews
Le Morte d'Arthur parody. Set when Sir Bedivere is tossing Excalibur back to the Lady of the Lake. Rated M for language. "Why would you even throw a sword at me? You're a knight aren't you? Shouldn't you know better than to go around throwing swords...
Misc. Books - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 505 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Complete
The Internet Was Meant For Yaoi by Shounen-Ai reviews
A chatroom plus our favorite ninjas. Enough said. SasuNaru /Crack fic/ Discontinued
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,831 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 3/5/2009 - Published: 12/23/2007 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Past and the Present by Uchizaki reviews
NaruSasu smut with a plot. Yaoi. Naruto was pretty much Sasuke's guardian after the Uchiha Massacre. Warnings: Rated M for a reasone! AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,468 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 18 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Must Love Quidditch by dracosoftie reviews
Through a series of emails from an online dating site, Harry thinks he's found his perfect match. Will the bond they've forged survive after their identities are revealed? H/D. Warnings for slash, language and explicit sexual content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 107,542 - Reviews: 3541 - Favs: 6,121 - Follows: 1,274 - Updated: 2/2/2009 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Best Aurors in the Department by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. Aurors Potter and Malfoy are the best, but even they don't usually bring in traumatized, drooling criminals. It's up to Minister Shacklebolt to figure out what happened.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,687 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 73 - Published: 10/28/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Hyuuga Swap by uberneko-zero reviews
Naruto is in a brand new relationship with Hinata. But when he meets her cousin Neji, he finds himself inexplicably preoccupied with the dark haired boy, despite his prickly personality. AU yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 52,825 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 5/3/2008 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Naruto U., Neji H. - Complete
HighSchools a Drag when Everyone thinks youre Dead by Stavi reviews
Many people think it’s hard to live after you get into a car accident that literally blows-up in your face; for Naruto, it was no exception. Man, it really sucks when everyone thinks you're dead. Yaoi. SasuNaru possible lemon/lime. Crude language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,890 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 212 - Updated: 3/4/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Role Play by KageKitsune XXX reviews
Being in secretly love with your best friend is a heck of a lot more stressful than you can possibly imagine. Eventually, you just have to take matters into your own hands. For sanity's sake. NaruSasu AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 60,026 - Reviews: 944 - Favs: 1,695 - Follows: 430 - Updated: 1/28/2008 - Published: 5/11/2007 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Secret Underground Vampire Bureaucracy by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, DH SPOILERS. In this story are an obsessed Potter, bonds, hormones, conspiracy theories, far too much self help and, of course, a secret underground vampire bureaucracy. None of which is as important as the fact that this is not Draco's fault.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,223 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 412 - Follows: 58 - Published: 1/6/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Building With Worn Out Tools by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash. Post War, Post Hogwarts, HBP spoilers. Right smack in the middle of a stormy divorce from Ginny, Harry has no reason to be attracted to his Arguer, Draco Malfoy. I mean, it's Malfoy. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 129,552 - Reviews: 1649 - Favs: 3,938 - Follows: 717 - Updated: 7/19/2007 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Pen Pals by Rorschach's Blot reviews
My version of the whole letters back and fourth between Voldemort and Harry story line.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,970 - Reviews: 366 - Favs: 1,674 - Follows: 441 - Published: 7/5/2007 - Harry P., Tom R. Sr. - Complete
Where the hell's MY flashback! by KageKitsune XXX reviews
The members of Team 7 meet for the first time after almost three years. You'd think that after all this time, a girl would finally get a little respect. Poor Sakura, it's another NaruSasu yaoi fic. Rated 'M' for lemony naughtiness!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,926 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 36 - Published: 5/18/2007 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Play With Me by FastForward reviews
Oneshot giftfic. Naruto is in a band and notices an interview that he wasn't invited to in a magazine. He discovers some interesting things about his friends, most particularly, Sasuke. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,047 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 781 - Follows: 106 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Chicks Dig Giant Robots' by Rorschach's Blot reviews
A very different Shinji comes to Tokyo III.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,237 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 1,398 - Follows: 334 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Shinji I. - Complete
Reincarnation by VeiledLantern reviews
NaruSasu HET. Gender Bender. How can you say sorry when you are thousands of years late? Uchiha Sasuke woke up in modern day Japan with all his memories intact. And he must find and talk to Naruto, who had forgotten without divulging 'his' secret. But unfortunately..
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 37,576 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 11/25/2006 - Published: 2/5/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
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Door To December reviews
Sequel to An Unlikely Romance. "You placed a marriage jutsu," Sasuke deadpanned, staring at a grinning Tsunade. "On me and the idiot?" Naruto didn't say anything. He just jumped out the window in a random suicide attempt. Sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,746 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 7/29/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Chasing Ash reviews
Ash, Meghan and Puck all sat at the table staring at the "new" addition to their little group, freshly saved from the Underworld. Ariella. "Well," Meghan coughed. "This is awkward." Ash/Puck humour, yaoi
Iron Fey Series - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,190 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 7/8/2011 - Puck, Ash
A Kind of Magic reviews
Sex magic is the most powerful and most addictive kind of magic there is. But Sasuke, that repressed emo bastard, just keeps trying to get rid of the hot blond genie. And his goat. Sasunaru, yaoi, humour
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 28,208 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 2/6/2012 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Konoha Dating Agency reviews
On a dare, Naruto and Kiba start a dating agency with a 'One date only' policy... humor, romance, sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 47,377 - Reviews: 348 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 395 - Updated: 1/26/2012 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Destined reviews
You'd really expect your soulmate to be more compliant and not want to kill you... Humour, romance, supernatural. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 74,274 - Reviews: 603 - Favs: 501 - Follows: 613 - Updated: 1/26/2012 - Published: 5/25/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Lockdown reviews
Between dealing with crazy moms, psychotic guardians and a useless entourage, the last thing the rival authors needed was to be locked up together to write a book without killing each other first. Humour. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,787 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 12/27/2011 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
An Unlikely Romance reviews
Naruto has awoken as a fox with no recollection of ever being human. He is found near Ichiraku's...surprise suprise...by Sasuke who takes him in. Meanwhile, everyone is looking for the human Naruto...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 57,978 - Reviews: 588 - Favs: 613 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Dark Masters reviews
Being schooled to be assassins is dangerous and hectic and doesn't leave much time for romance. Unless you're into that kind of thing. NaruSasu, yaoi, humour. For Khairul
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,898 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 5/27/2011 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Something about Valentines reviews
Sometimes love is twisted. SasuNaru, NaruNeji, NaruSai. Not my usual type of fic. You have been warned. yaoi
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,530 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/27/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Four Seasons reviews
I never wanted to be a Season... When chosen, my joyous reaction: "Aw, crap." said it all. Humor, Drama, Supernatural...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 47,336 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 11/19/2010 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Perverts Anonymous reviews
The perverts of Konoha, ie everyone, are forced to get professional help or die trying. Humour, stuff, unnecessary explosions... Possible continuation. COMPLETE...for now
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,078 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 27 - Published: 3/24/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Paradise Lost reviews
Waging war is SERIOUS business...except when the gods get bored and decide to interfere... Humor, supernatural, drama...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,003 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 1/20/2010 - Published: 12/11/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
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