EinAffe
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Joined 05-15-09, id: 1935386, Profile Updated: 09-03-12
Author has written 9 stories for Star Wars.

"Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a piece of blank paper until a drop of blood forms on your forehead." Gene Fowler

"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out." Author unknown

"Do not put statements in the negative form. And don't start sentences with a conjunction. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. De-accession euphemisms. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Last, but nor least, avoid cliches like the plague." William Safire, "Great Rules of Writing"

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind." Douglas Adams

“You see things; you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?” George Bernard Shaw

"All generalizations are false, including this one." Mark Twain

"Only two things are infinite: The universe and the human stupidity, and I am not sure about the former." Albert Einstein

"If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want." Oscar Wilde

"Never judge a book by its movie." J. W. Eagan

"Never laugh at live dragons." J.R.R. Tolkien

"Support bacteria - they are the only culture some people have!" Unknown

And of course my favourite quote ever: "There's always a bigger fish." Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

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STARE WARS Episode I: The Phantom Plotline by LionLad reviews
In this parody, the galaxy's stupidest Jedi and his long-suffering apprentice rescue a hot queen and set off in search of the plot. Rated T for language.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 48,338 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 2/19 - Published: 1/25/2011 - Obi-Wan K., Qui-Gon J., Padmé Amidala, Nute Gunray
These Aren't the Droids You're Looking For by Kelaria reviews
A bumbling Stormtrooper, a passive-aggressive Sith Lord, and a mysterious Nerf herder save the galaxy from the forces of evil!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 147,076 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 5/25/2010 - Complete
The Finer Shades of Why by Yesac reviews
When Dooku realizes far earlier Sidious' intentions to replace him, Sidious' plans never come to fruition... but Dooku's do. Across the galaxy, Anakin and Obi-Wan are shot down by their own men and try to make sense of why.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 43 - Words: 212,901 - Reviews: 670 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker - Complete
RESUME FOR Vader, Lord Darth by frodogenic reviews
Experienced Sith Lord seeking full-time employment in the field of total galactic domination.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,088 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 16 - Published: 6/2/2010 - Darth Vader - Complete
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Old Habits Die Hard reviews
When you take a closer look, you will find many similarities in and even more differences between the way a Jedi Padawan and a young boy from Tatooine start their day. Find out what a combination of an apparently less-than-relaxing night and deeply ingrained routine can do to their morning rituals...
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,470 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Published: 5/30/2012 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker
Good Night, And Don't Let the Bugs Bite reviews
Anakin's first night at the Jedi Temple is somewhat more adventurous than expected. What is that commotion coming from Obi-Wan's bedroom? Is it Darth Maul who returned for revenge, or has Obi-Wan joined the Dark Side? Or maybe it's something else entirely
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,388 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/6/2011 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker - Complete
The Confrontation reviews
Obi-Wan confronts Padmé with Anakin's turn to the Dark Side, but it seems that Padmé and Obi-Wan both have some difficulty communicating what exactly they mean... Scene from ROTS, trying to add a humorous twist to all the drama.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,277 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/25/2011 - Obi-Wan K., Padmé Amidala - Complete
Who is the Phantom Menace, anyway? reviews
An epic and hilarious or so I'm told rendering of TPM with a few twists and turns. Featuring bigger fish, infatuated handmaidens, random Anakin, weird Qui-Gon, hated-by-the-Force Obi-Wan and most important: galaxy-saving yellow letters! Finally COMPLETE
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 36 - Words: 161,676 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/30/2011 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Obi-Wan K., Qui-Gon J. - Complete
Silent Tears reviews
Anakin finds Obi-Wan looking distressed and wonders was it his fault or will he need to kick someone's butt? Not slash.
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,912 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker - Complete
Of Cookies and Sticks reviews
This is a rather weird story of mine that tells how Yoda ended up with cookies instead of his walking stick and how Obi-Wan ended up with Yoda's walking stick instead of cookies... I hope you find this as funny as my sister did!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,687 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 17 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 6/12/2009 - Obi-Wan K., Yoda - Complete
Surprise Party reviews
Why is Anakin planning a party for Obi-Wan's engagement? And why doesn't mentioned Jedi master know about this secret relationship he is supposed to have? I hope you find it funny at least it's supposed to be...
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,417 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker - Complete
The Missing Master reviews
Another one of my insane little stories. Anakin can't find his master and so he goes looking for him all over Coruscant except where he might actually find him, of course. And why exactly does Mace wear a sithly hat? Warning: Content might be humorous...
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,049 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K. - Complete
The importance of letting go reviews
Even Anakin has to learn that sometimes his Master just has to go... some random piece of insane rambling *grins*
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,904 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 10 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K. - Complete