As of 2013:

Hello! My name is Tess (real name: Tesondrae (Tes-on-dray). I'm 33 years old with 2 kids. My hubby is in the Navy and just made PO1!! I am prior Navy, but was released after my 4 years when I developed DDD (Degenerative Disk Disease) when I was 22 years old. I had a permanent limp for about 2 years until I was finally able to live with the pain. Yes, I did serve during 9/11. My daughter Nadyia is 12 years old and my son Greg Jr. is 8...they are so awesome! Extremely independent since I had them.

We are settled down and living in Arlington, TX and plan to stick around here for a while ;)

Ok, this cracked me up and I just had to share it with you all ;)

How to annoy Edward:

1. Prance around the house singing Madonna's 'Like a virgin' at the top of your lungs every morning.

2. Especially loud when Bella is around to hear it.

3. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been 'sleeping' with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.

4. Hire a stripper to pop out of the wedding cake XD

5. Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues.

6. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob

7. Tell him Jacob thinks he's a sex god.

8. Tell him it was Jacob's idea.

9. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he's thinks that he looks like a paedophile or if it's just you.

10. Ask him where babies come from. Tell him he's stupid when he won't answer your question.

11. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn't eat food.

12. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.

13. Steal his Vanquish and program his radio to only play Lollipop –unedited of course. Make sure he can't turn it off or get it replaced.

14. Replace his ring tone with 'Outta my head' by Ashlee Simpson. Make sure he can't change it.

15. Colour on all his Bella pictures with Permanent marker.

16. Refuse to replace them.

17. Ask him to dress up as a vampire with you for Halloween.

18. Get offended when he refuses.

19. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.

20. Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog.

"There. That should do," Jasper said as he finished writing. He turned to Emmett. "Ready?"

"HELL YEAH!" Emmett yelled.

Jasper smiled. "Let's do this."

Disclaimers:
We are not responsible for any general destruction of you or your property.
We can only guarantee that you will ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF EDWARD

note* I did not write this but I thought I would share it with you guys for a laugh

If my stories discappear...you can find them here:

https:///author/yagalinus0420/stories

and here:

http:///library/viewuser.php?uid=54723