My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way — even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless — my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, This Cannot Be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This," and kill the advisor.
If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attache
Okay, first off, Lionstone is not a fool. Powerful as Napoleon is, Jackie isn't quite so. And he needs allies if his suspicions are true.
Through a series of events I honestly don't remember anymore, he makes a team with Medea. No, he doesn't know who Medea is. Yes, he makes plans to bail out themoment he figures out who she is because hahaha-no, he knows quite well what she likely thinks of the master with an Assassin specced to murder her.
Also, he blows up Shirou's house.
With a lot of explosives, he blows up Shirou's house. Shirou is unharmed, but Taiga kinda dies, and Napoleon starts firing on the remains while riding one of Lionstone's animated lions. While the Lion is fleeing, his artillery remains floating at his side at the same speed, firing all the while as the servants of Shirou's alliance chase after Napoleon straight into Ryuudou temple, where the rest of his alliance team is waiting.
Shirou's team kinda gets wrecked due to surprise attacks and whole buncha traps and only survives because Simo Hayha deployed his Reality Marble and confused everyone but his allies as they limped away. Even so, some carry some serious wounds that will make them notably weaker. I was initially planning on getting Nero or Lily captured, but then I decided that that's when they have to deploy their best, Lily's Avalon and Nero's Reality Marble, just to survive.
EIther way, it's a painful reminder for everyone that not even the powerhouse team is invincible, especially if they rush into things.
In any case, Napoleon dies first.
Emboldened by Gilgamesh's words and his recent victory, he takes to the field with a mix of arrogance and competence. That is, he initiates a seriously heavy battle in one of the parks and starts taking on multiple servants, keeping them away with his artillery and readying an opportune moment for the rest of his allies to strike. Jackie is personally waiting for a female so she can gut someone and make a kill.
In any case, Simo shoots him through the throat.
Then Karna steps in and shoots him with his bow's special ability and fires a laser through his skull. You know, because reasons.
THen Achilles steps in beside Karna and makes a grand, arrogant claim, then confuses everyone with the designations their masters tells them to use. I forgot the specific words, but they don't use the proper servant classifications and instead use made-up ones, then keep mentioning different classes they might be. Misdirection, constantly.
Gilgamesh, who had been watching from afar gets rather pissed at having one of the few people he's decided are worthy, get killed by assassination, and takes to the field.
Achilles and Karna makes a show of dismissing him and Achilles waving off Karna to take on the gold-armored due because "eh, he's probably not worth my time. And hey, your armors match!"
Gilgamesh gets rather pissed, but his arrogance makes him decide to murder what feels to him like a rather weak servant.
A bit later, he's getting rammed by Karna's vimana and getting an arm and a leg chopped off by Parashu and he has no idea how all that happened.
Meanwhile, Achilles wrecks face because he's invulnerable and one of the most utterly broken melee servants around and generally has a fun time punching in teeth.
Gilgamesh, incapable of fleeing in front of so many other servants because of his pride, unleashes his own vimana and starts a dogfight with Karna as he starts chugging healing potions.
Worryingly, he discovers that despite his greater number of phantasms, Karna is far far better at using a Vimana than him, and has terrifying skill at dogfighting. And despite being a rider, while he can no longer fire ten thousand arrows in one sitting, a few hundred is still worrying when each arrow is basically a laser.
This is when everyone who can fly joins in and starts an aerial dogfight involving flying chariots, flying horses, flying people, and ancient indian spaceships.
People from far away thinks that it's the raddest fireworks display they've ever seen in living memory.
Ground-bound servants become supremely jelly.
Sasaki dies here, an unfortunate casualty of Achilles. One thing to survive a berserk Heracles, as he's faster and facing an unskilled brute. Another to fight an enemy just as fast, but with skill retained to boot, and weaponry that slows him down. He's a hair too slow and gets torn apart.
The battle goes crazily intense, but gets truly horrific when the Sabers, eager to fight, decide they want to join in. Alter is the one that pushes them over the edge and convinces/forces Shirou to let them join.
EVERYONE is watching the battle by now. Major as it is, they can't not notice it. When the four sabers join in, Ilya goes ballistic and wants them gone, and her servants go in.
Luvia's servants were there before the Sabers got in, and there is a mix of hilarity and feels when the sabers meet Lancelot and Merlin. Normal Saber almost gets PTSD at seeing Lancelot again.
In any case, this is a major, major battle. Servants die a lot here. Cu Chulainn fights with Alter and gets vaporized by Excalibur Sanguine for his trouble after he obliterates half her body throughout the course of their battle.
There would have been a cliffhanger where she cackles about winning as she bleeds out, Lily disengages from Achilles to help her with Avalon, and you suddenly getJackie's POV as she prepares to strike down the vulnerable servant with her anti-woman NP.
Lionstone however calls her down in the next chapter and they spend the rest of the fic taking a plane and getting the hell out of dodge because fuck no will Lionstone stick around with just an Assassin in this clusterfuck.
Siegfried gets shot down from the skies by Simo, but survives, only to get sucked in Simo's reality marble when he closes in on the 'fleeing' assassin that dared shoot him in the back.
He doesn't survive that, though it takes a lot of killing to end him.
Four servants down in one battle. Yeah, it's as brutal as you think. This is when the fic takes a nosedive into the meat of the fic, which involves the dying.
In any case, Lancelot has a shouting match with Arturia, then Lily and Alter confuses things because of how they did it in their worlds. Lily made Lancelot ashamed because apparently all he needed to do was tell Arturia about it, for one.
There's a lot of tension there that's cut off when Gilgamesh pulls out Ea as he crashes down, beaten in the aerial dogfight by Karna and utterly hateful of everything now.
Shit gets fucking real when Samson and Moses joins in just to aim for Gilgamesh.
This is the part where you see Samson shatter noble phantasms by punching them because he's at his most powerful, facing a heavily divine enemy with the greatest threat meter and horrible sin level.
Ea at full force gets unleashed and Moses recreates Part the Sea on it by breaking his staff, though it leaves him weak. Still it's NOT enough for Samson to get in close to Gilgamesh.
Aabidah appearing behind him and using one of her Zabaniyas to distract him, however, does. Yes, she met Moses.
And THEN Samsons gets close and tears off another limb from Gilgamesh. He gets chained by Enkidu, but it doesn't work because he has no divinity and he proceeds to rip off Gilgamesh's head. Thus ends the King of Heroes.
Luvia thinks smart and immediately uses up a command seal to make Lancelot pick up Ea in time.
Everyone proceeds to shit themselves.
And it's still not done. Only when Scathach decides to her earlier fight with Moses and annihilates him with Gae Bolg's spear-throw while he's gaping at Lancelot holding Ea. Then she retreats from the battle.
That's the cue all others take to get out of dodge, and one of the fiercest battles in Nerve Damage ends.
Five servants down, six if you count Gilgamesh, seven if you count Jackie getting put on a bus. Almost a fourth of all competitors, gone. Shit has gone real at this point. A lot of have taken casualties, but not Shirou and Rin. Technically, not Sakura either, but Aabidah is still sorta-estranged from her (Moses was teaching her of forgiveness, but died before all the lessons could truly stick).
And it's now known that the team with FOUR fucking Sabers is allied with Julius fucking Caesar, and what is most likely to be at least two other servants. Definitely, the chick with the blindfold on a pegasus was seen working with him. Worst case scenario, there are THREE masters in one alliance.
As you can imagine, plans are made to take them out.
But not before Scathach ends up getting assaulted in her fortress. Henry thinks that with only one servant inside, having double the number of servants to assault it should be an easy win.
Thing is, the fortress is complete, and there is no way in hell that anyone can beat Scathach. Bazzett's plan was to wait out the war and let the others come to her, as she only has one servant, but what a servant. Scathach is technically unbeatable in her domain. Fucking immortal, man!
Vasavi Shakti, used as a melee weapon as it turns out, disagrees. ANd without being thrown, the weapon does not break and can be reused.
As she dies, impaled upon his spear, Scathach's only request for Karna is that if he lives after this, can he find the real her, and end her life? Karna, ever the saint, promises to do so.
Bazzett is out of the game now.
This time, the Sabers take the initiative as Caesar points out the obvious prediction that alliance will be made against them.
They have two known enemy master locations: Ryuudou Temple, and Ilya's mansion. They take the temple.
Medea, not prepared for an assault of five fucking servants, gets utterly wrecked. the teacher, despite being offered peace, decides to die by her side.
Alter has one final duel with Lu Bu as everyone watches, but in the end he dies, weakened by the loss of an anchor and injuries from other Sabers. He dies nobly all the same, with a laugh and a smile. "Good fight," he says. "Good war. Do try to win, eh? So I can say I was beaten by the best."
Alter points out that she has two kills over Blue Saber now. There is much salt and puffing.
Luvia goes with Waver, as he has a sterling reputation. Samson, knowing he cannot win alone, allies with Ilya. Aabidah shadows him. Henry keeps to himself, though he makes a visit to Shirou under truce and catches up on his student.
And now, there are but four factions in this holy grail war.
The climax is at hand.
Henry is assaulted by Luvia's group when he refuses to join forces with her, and Achilles dies fighting them, with no casualties on the other side. There were simply too many, though he makes a good showing of himself and Henry activates his ultimate rage to horribly weaken and injure nonetheless.
Then Shirou and Luvia clash, and blood is shed. Lancelot kills Simo in revenge for Siegfried, while in the reality marble of the Great Khan, Saber Alter unleashes the Devouring Ooze of Excalibur Sanguine. Shocked, stunned, but resolute, the Great Khan dies fighting among his family. Medusa fights Lancelot, and is almost immediately destroyed by Ea. Her pegasus dies, and her body is wrecked.
As expected, this is when Ilya, filled with horrific emotion and servant spirits, kinda explodes into the corrupted Grail. Everyone in the epicenter is corrupted. Herakles, Hector, Odysseus, they become Dark Servants. Samson, only partly-tainted, fights against them and finds them horrifically powerful, if mad.
He tries to get to the grail and destroy it and actually makes headway due to his empowerments against such threats, but then other Dark Servants rise, monstrous forms of the dead walk out from the corrupted grail.
He decides instead to buy time for Aabidah to flee and tell the others what has happened. Tell them the Grail is False, that it must be destroyed. She flees and obeys.
Aabidah gets there in time before there are any other casualties (she interrupts Lancelot's killing blow on Medusa), and convinces everyone with the help of level heads and actual common sense, but nonetheless the situation is grim. Most everyone is tired and injured, and while the number of servants are equal yet other monsters are being spawned.
This not being a Bad End fic, they win nonetheless. Excalibur(s), Aetus Domus Area, and Ea destroy Angra Mainyu, the reality marble gathering every important bit of him in one place to be destroyed completely.
Julius Caesar holds the line against the monsters before getting gutted by a Dark Achilles who is purged by Karna.
Karna is the powerhouse in play against enemy servants. Where he walks, victory follows. None can stand against Vasavi Shakti, and this is where the most powerful, non-Gilgamesh servant shows off why he's so OP.
Nonetheless, there are casualties. With Vasavi Shakti, he loses his armor and his allied Servant have to work to defend him. Specific deaths were never personally determined, but some Saber/s were in the mix. Lancelot survives though, as does Merlin. Those are the important factors.
EMIYA works with Iskander and arms the army with legendary weapons to stand against the corrupted Great Khan. It's not the best of circumstances to fight a former ally for Iskander, but still, it works and they win.
EMIYA likely dies at some point, I think shot at by Simo then having Hector teleport behind him (they're within his boundary field NP, which lets him teleport anywhere inside) and gut him.
In any case, the cast is cut down heavily, but the war is won and everything is...more or less done. No, Ilya is not saved. Deal with it.
Merlin being around is the important factor, as the most famous wizard of them all finds it trivially easy to make homunculus bodies of sufficient power to satisfy servants.
The epilogue is the more difficult things for me, as it varies between some very cracked separation, or harems.
Lancelot is kinda miffed at not actually getting a wish and fixing everything. Eventually, he shrugs and becomes a permanent hire for the Edelfelts and also becomes a pilot. Lily/Alter helps in him getting over things. Lily because she's just that wonderful, and Alter because she's gruff but sensible.
Karna goes off into the world a new man. He kills the real Scathach, then has a good life, enjoying it to its fullest. He doesn't specifically look for evil, but if he finds them...well, generally they get wrecked.
Aabidah goes off on her own and...probably does evil things to evil people in the MIddle East. We'll leave it at that. ISIS likely gets neutered.
Sakura is very much encouraged by Nero (if she lives) to pursue Shirou. Rin may or may not join, having actually considered his offer to teach their children how to make nerve circuits.
The Sabers...eh. Alter may have become super tsundere for Shirou along the course of it, may not and do her own thing. Lily, amazingly enough, is an independent woman and goes off on her own thing without question. Arturia likely follows her.
Nero may join in, may not and instead be with Shirou. It varies.
Medusa is pretty much tied to Sakura the same way Sakura's tied to Shirou.
Jordan either encounters Merlin, the "Doll" woman who makes homunculus, or just plain supports her on his own reserves. She's an assassin. Cheap as hell and he constantly hunts bad people she can drain, usually with a lot of prana to nab. They get married later on. Whether or not they can make children is up in the air, but it's not as if he's the heir of the family or anything.
And that...is pretty much the end of things.
Nerve Damage, summed up. What do you guys think?