Author has written 15 stories for Naruto, Halo, Bleach, and Fate/stay night.
My name: not your business
Age: not going to tell you
Location: the government already knows this. why should i tell you?
i like things. i dislike others. deal with it.
DISCLAIMER: I own only my own ideas.
Memory room is my first foray into writing, besides school assignments. I would much appreciate reviews for it, even if all you say is that it sucks, as long as you tell me why it sucks. To those few who have read it, i have FINALLY finished it, after waiting six months. I had planned on finishing it earlier, but I just never got around to it.
If, once I post something, anyone here thinks I ripped an idea off of them, please let me know, and I will either give proper credit to whoever the idea came from, or I will do my best to remove it from my work. I've read hundreds of fics here, (some more than once) and the ideas i get from them tend to blend together with my original ideas. So, I'm apologizing in advance if I rip ideas out of your works. If any of you want to use something of mine, you may, I just ask that I'm credited for the idea in the chapter it is used, and that you let me know, so that I may read your fic.
links to fox types in Fox Sage
they show up first in chapter eight.
UPDATE: (8-28-10) this story is on hiatus. i made it with no plot (which was a mistake) and now that fact has come back to bite me in the ass. i just have no idea where to go with it at this time, and until i do, i wont be updating it.
to all those who had spartan iv bookmarked, i accidentally removed it, and had to repost the first chapter. i dont know when i will update it again, since i have had absolutely no more inspiration for it. sorry.
UPDATE: (9-17-10) after six months without any idea at all as to where i could go with this story, i have finally gathered some ideas for it. I HAVE A PLOT NOW!!!! and it involves nukes. lots and lots of nukes. you should all be very, very, afraid.
UPDATE: (12-18-10) well, im still working on the plot. but, there is hope. i just got a replacement disc drive for my computer so i can play halo again, which means more chances at inspiration.
UPDATE: (1-15-11) ch 2 has been added to. its still not done, but its moving forward, albeit incredibly slowly. it will be finished though...eventually.
In other news, i am in the planning stages of another fic, this one starting pre-academy. It's a naruten fic. The idea popped into my head one morning, and just wouldnt leave me alone until i did something about it. i actually have a planned out plot for this one, too. well, sort of. i'm still working on fox sage, and as to how im going to show the training, it will be in flashbacks, and there will be no weapons. i did get a suggestion of sorts that sakura would kick ass with a bazooka, though, if i had them in my fic. oh, well, maybe i'll do that in a later fic.
UPDATE: yeah, this is kinda late, but the naruten story, A Storm in the Night is officially up and running. at the time of this posting, chap 11 is up, and im halfway thru 12. today, (7-12-10, 6:00 am) also marks the first post-training trip plot notes, so it looks like storm will be going for a while, provided i can actually get time to write it. between fixing my house and my college english class, i dont get much time to write for myself, and when i do, the ideas just dont want to flow.
UPDATE: 8-28-10 4am - well, ch 19 is up, and 20 is mostly done. wave arc is over. hopefully having a job now and no college class will allow me to update more often.
UPDATE: (10-15-10 4:30am) yeah... about that whole job thing...it seems to be sucking the life right out of me. i hardly ever get time to write, and get a new plot/story idea about once a week, instead of once every five minutes. i work on average about 8 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week. i know that in the grand scheme of things that isnt really that much, but when you suddenly go from having no job at all, (for like a year) and then suddenly start working full time, while trying to finish a basement, and have a social life, i find it hard to sit down and write.
this section is for random funny crap i come across
From "A Foxes Tale, Chapter 5, by Chrisdz
this is the contents of naruto's pack.
"I've got one hundred kunai and shuriken, my complete thie- I mean prank kit including fifty smoke and flash pellets, my lock pick set. I've also got two hundred explosive tags, a couple jutsu scrolls from jiji, thirty packets of instant ramen, fifty water bottles, a copy of Intro to Sealing, a copy of So You Want To Be Hokage written by Yondaime, my camera and blackmail collection including Iruka-sensei and Anko making out on his desk and Kakashi with his mask off, a picture of Ibiki's wife, and a picture of Uchiha Mikoto [sasuke's mom] in lingerie."
From "Necessary Things" chapter 16, by Slimreaper
this is kakashi after being interrupted in a tender moment with his girl
And since Kakashi trusted her, he got to his feet. But because he knew exactly what Gai thought about this relationship, he also sent the Beast a vicious warning glare. Don't even think about fucking this up for me or there will be hell to pay, that glare said loud and clear. Pain, suffering, humiliation, and quite probably disembowelment. Slow, methodical, agonizing disembowelment. With something dull. And filthy.
From "Something Scary" chapter 3, by Plagius
This is a conversation between Jiraiya and a very kyuubi-influenced naruto.
Blood began to pour from Jiraiya's mouth due to the extended exposure to the nine-tail's chakra. He spat the coppery liquid to the ground and continued to yell. "You're a demon! I'm a ninja! When you murder nearly a thousand people in cold blood they lock you in here! When I murder nearly a thousand people in cold blood they give me a fuckin' medal and tell me to do it again!"
From "Of The Day's Annoyances" one-shot by Lucillia
this is a diary excerpt from Hyuuga Hiashi, who is naruto's caretaker
Pinatas. While the brightly colored paper mache creatures may be a Whirlpool birthday tradition, it is one that I will never again follow in regards to Naruto as I do not enjoy being whacked in the privates with a stick. I shall be having words with Hizashi about the timing with which he had pulled the pinata away from my ward.
From "Naruto of the Nine Tails" Chapter 1, by EDelta88
Kyuubi speaking to naruto, age 9
"What the hell…oooh shit."
From "Friends with Benefits" Chapter 17, by jim1681
A Black Lagoon fic, this takes place right after Revy and Rock decide to have Dutch marry them at 4 in the morning, in Dutch's apartment.
Rock and Revy were now in the midst of a full-blown make-out session, while Dutch retreated into his doorway, "'Night, Benny boy. Good night and congratulations you two; don't fuck in my hallway."
From "The Denarian Knight" Chapter 20, by Shezza88
a Harry Potter/Dresden Files crossover fic, harry is speaking to the voice in his head
"I rule my penis," Harry said with an air of pomposity. "It does not rule me."
From "Substitute School, First Semester" Chapter 24, by Zero-Sennin
"Captain Zaraki, mind your tone, and do not draw your zanpakutou; you are speaking to a fellow captain, and if you intend to murder him you should at least not do so where all of us can see you."
From "Oops!" Chapter 3, by Smylingsnake
'Shut it, Fox. Usagi no Tsuki called, he wants his ears back.'
This is Shino talking to Naruto, who has just made a rather large mistake.
“I see that you are beginning to grasp the magnitude of the mistake you have made. Even my intellect is failing to quantify the size of ass you have just made of yourself, and over a simple misunderstanding no less.”
Formula to a crappy Naruto Story, by Silent Master
Step One: Naruto is being chased by an angry mob even though he's only three years old (barly old enough to wipe his own ass) and living alone for some reason.
Step Two: He trips and/or reaches a dead end (oh noooo's) and they procede to inflict grevous, crippling, and all around over exaggerated unsurvivable wounds.
Step Three: After ten minutes of stabbing and beating (Which miraculously avoided his vitals) someone comes in to inflict the the final blows at the crowds jeering.
Step Four: In a 'thrilling' and 'suspenseful' moment a giant war-hammer is swung down on Naruto, only to be stopped an inch from his head by token superhero #25.
Step Five: Token superhero #25 yells at crowd. "WHAT ARE DO DOING TO TO THIS POOR BOY?!," crowd replies. "KILLING THE DEMON!" or the like. Slaughter ensues.
Step Six: Sarutobi and an Anbu squad show up. (perfect timing) Hokage confronts token superhero #25. "WHO ARE YOU?!" hero responds. "I'm super awesome-man! (Relation to Naruto's parents optional) Now why are your villagers attacking this poor boy?"
Step Seven: The Hokage proceeds to break his own law and tells to complete strangers Narutos life story, much to their outrage.
Step Eight: Token superhero #25 says he's taking the boy away to train him. Sarutobi agrees immendiatly without aguement, but pleads for them to return for the Genins exams. #25 agrees. (The fact that he agreed to bring the kid back to a place that delivered a massive beating to a three year old didn't seem to bother him.)
Step Nine: Naruto wakes up after the ten minute conversation completely healed, energetic, and with enough brain damage to forgive the entire ordeal. (Apparently he's Jesus, filled with infinate forgiveness for the unforgivable)
Step Ten: They fill Naruto in on the details and he begs to be able to come back to be Hokage. (a three year old can comprehend that...how?) and the duo is off.
Step Eleven: Time skip. Naruto returns, covered in trench coats and pictures of foxes. (throwing all stigmas to the wind).
Step Twelve: Meets Hokage and dishes out all his skills in painful detail. (Throwing all ninja sense to the wind.) Assigned to go to the academy, which happens to be having its exam that day.
Step Thirteen: Shows off dramarically for the test and remainder of story, pwning everyone but Orochimaru in the Forest of death.
Step Foreteen: Falls in love with Hinata?!
Props to Silent Master for his well thought out and reasoned rant (claps)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
When life gives you lemons go out & buy vodka.
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"
Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."-(Beverages WOOO!!)
Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (Are you sure?)
Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"
Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."
Dog food-"new and improved tasting", (who tests it?)
Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yummy...)
Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness" (CAuse thats not the desired effect..)
Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (Why did I buy it again?)
Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment .)
RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." (Really?)
Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (Gasp!)
The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.
Adults are just kids with money.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
this is one of the funniest youtube videos ive ever seen. robin williams on golf.
Work vs Prison
IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
So why is it, again, that we work?