Bella Alice Rose
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Joined 05-26-09, id: 1948071, Profile Updated: 07-11-10
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

my bestie calls me Angel because she said my hair reminds her of one but she said the funny thing is i am the opposite of an angel lol and I go to Haskell middle school I live in Broken Arrow Oklahoma in the USA.

I am 5'4 AND 1/2ft tall have blond curly hair light skin blue eyes and under my eyes is purple..i dont sleep much!

All about me!

I don't sleep much I have random fits of excitement I am fairly weird and I am a major klutz, I blush easily and I am very smart and semi social if I don't like you, stay away but other ways i am social yet shy. oh yeah, when i am sleeping don't mess with me i am not a morning jacob or team edward? can't i have both i am Switzerland. i absoulutly love Jasper but this just might be a twilight phase but i just recently discovered my love for Jasper and emmett and paul and seth and jacob. I think I also have some disorders too let me see well there is...

Hyperactivity: a child who can't sit still, walks, runs, or climbs around when others are seated. (Sounds a like me... although, it's not that bad. I can sit still... but it takes a bit of work... except for when I'm writing then it's not that bad.

bipolar: where my emotions go wacko. for example I might be excited one minute and depressed the next

attention lover: sometimes i draw attention to my self sometimes i want it or i mean to cause it but most the time i don't want it and i didn't mean to cause's not my fault i'm utterly clumbsy!!

and just plain...weird. I usually get called or "labeled :P as scene or emo

I'm The Kind of Girl...

I'm the kind of girl who walks into a door and apoligizes. (been there, dun that - more than once!!)

I'm the kind of girl who would rather act stupid than smart. (yea!! totally!!)

I'm the kind of girl who would burst out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. (i COMPLETELY embarassed myself!!)

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life. ( comment!!)

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it. (HYPER GOODNESS!!)


My family is very very very...odd. My mom is a nut afraid of fire and nosey. My dad is the second biggest nut in the family(I am the biggest) he thinks I am annoying so he doesn't like talking to me much because my conversations all was end up Twilight related. My little sister Chloe well... SHE IS THE DEVIL'S QUEEN THE RULER OF THE UNDER WORLD DAY AFTER DAY I AM PUT UP TO TORTURE BY HER!


well my dog Maggie is a beagle who thinks she is a human but don't tell her other ways. My chiwawa Baby Girl is possible the most spoiled dog in the world. My iguana stripes is annoying and my Betas Skittles and Angel are boring. and a evil cat named u can guess were i got the name..i wnated 2 name her jane but heidi fit better...

Favorite things

Band: BLACK VEIL BRIDES,TAKING BACK SUNDAY, SAOSIN,STORY OF THE YEAR,NEVERSHOUTNEVER, ICP,SILVERSTEIN, ARMOR FOR SLEEP Paramore, All American Rejects, Evanessence, 3 doors down, creed, daughtry, caged the elephant,green day, skilletand so,so much more

Actor:Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Kellan Lutz, and Jackson Rathbone

Actress:Kristen Stuart, Ashley Greene, and Nikkie Reed

Movie: Twilight, new moon, eclipse

Book: Twilight series vampire academy

Hobbies: Reading, writing about Twilight, writing songs, and singing

color: neon blue, back,red, and purple

gem: topaz

current mood: tired

Bella's shirt in ch 2 in hilariouse cullen goodness:

Bella's jeans:&CatID=63207&GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=17a4eeb&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=504557c50456&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=3&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=504555045663207

bella's shoes:

Bella's necklace:

Bella's bracelet:

OK time for the copy and paste!

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

~Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...~

╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it too :)

I've been diagnosed with OCD (Obbsessive Cullen Disorder), OED (Obsessive Edward Disorder), OVD (Obbsessive Vampire Disorder), and OMCD (Obsessive Mythical Creatures Disorder).



gangsta NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):


3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):

Purple wolf

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and current street name):

Nicole Adams

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):

red moutaindew

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):

Aholice(i think it means i am an alice aholic)

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):


9. Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first):


10. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):

Black Baby girl (uh okaaay)

1.How does the world see you? It's not me it's u

2. Will I have a happy life? cold hard b(well uh hehe)

3. What do my friends really think of me? i just can't live a lie( uh i don't lie...much...)
4.Do people secretly lust after me? love you out loud(uh...appearently..)

5. How can I make myself happy?American idiot(well i can be pretty stupid)
6. What should I do with my life? breathe(well i am always stressed..)
7. What is some good advice for me? Everybodys fool(real encoraging)

8. How will I be remembered?stab my back(i dont stab ppls backs!)

9. What is my signature dancing song?my sacrafice(yah it is a sacrifice 4 me 2 dance..i suck!)
10. What do I think my current theme song is? dissary(well my life is in a dissary)

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?Imaganary(well every one thinks i am crazy and i do talk to inamenent objects..)

12. What song will play at my funeral?IRRAPLACEABLE(aww i know I AM irraplaceable=)
13. What type of men/women do you like?how to save a life(uh docters i guess ohh life guards ..the HOT kind!)

14. What is my day going to be like?cant take it(my life can be hard i am always secretly depressed)

15. What will tomorrow bring?higher(uh it will be better or i will die..)

The Stupid Test! (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.

(x) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

(x) You have run into a tree.

() It IS possible to lick your elbow

(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.

(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.

(x) You just tried to sing them.

(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

(x) You have choked on your own spit.

(x) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.

(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice

(x) You just looked at it.

(x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.

(x) People have called you slow.

(x) You have accidentally caught something on fire

(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.

(x) You have caught yourself drooling.

(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class

(x) If someone says “fart” you laugh.

(x) You just laughed.

(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking

(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about

(x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you

(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

(x) You use your fingers to do simple math. (

(x) You have eaten a bug.

(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important

(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.

(x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.

(x) You break a lot of things.

(x) Your friends know not to use big words around you

(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused

(X) You have fallen out of your chair before

(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
338 WOW! I guess I'm stupid!

█████████████████ 100 (percent) Vampire

█████████████████ 100 (percent) Twilight Fan

█████████████████ 100 (percent) TEAM EDWARD!

You think your life sucks? Well, I'm in love with two non-existent vampires named Japer hale and Emmett cullen.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity . . . I enjoy every minute of it!

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy onto profile.

Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Music is love in search of word.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

Come join the dark side we have cookies and hot sparkling vampires!

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, we messed up. LETS DO IT AGAIN!!'

When you fall: A friend helps you up; a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumb butt?"

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I didn't just hit you. I just high-fived your face.

This is evil me. Evil me locked nice me in a closet years ago. Don't like it? LIVE WITH IT. lol.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Boys that make you cry aren't worth crying over; boys that are worth crying over won't make you cry.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you,MartaSwan, TheEmoSideOfMe, Al Luver, distress-signal, edwardcrazy, vamplover17,bella-alice-rose

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of the Cullens, copy this into your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. :O
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If you think someone should start a new vampire generation cuz there are so many of us that want to be one, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think Edward Cullen is hot so is jasper and emmett...copy and paste this onto your profile
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, dang, I'm gonna miss your dumb but.

ok i would miss her too much so after i call her dumb i would mumble this while finding a paddle boat,

You cry, I cry.
You fight, I fight.
You laugh, I laugh.
You jump off a bridge,
I get a paddle boat and save your retarded butt!

You Say Camp Rock, I Say Twilight
You Say Nick Jonas, I Say Jasper Hale
You Say Nick And Selena, I Say Jazz And Alice
You Say Humans, I Say Vampires
You Say hot, I Say Cold
You Say Soccer, I Say Baseball
You Say Orange, I Say Apple
You Say Jonas, I Say Cullen
You say Twilight suckso.0 That Is Going Too Far Volturi are coming for you

One last thing...DONT JUDGE ME!! cuz if you do i will shoot you. Any Survivors will be shot AGAIN!!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Lessons learned in Twilight

1) You can enjoy the nagquet while resisting the wine.
2) The future is not set in stone
3) Men are crabby when they're hungry
4) Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear
5) True love knows no boundaries
6) Some people are just danger magnets.
7) Even eternal enimies can work together to save something they love
8) Forget the fangs - Real vampires sparkle! (they're sexy to. coughEdwardcough)
9) Soul mates exist; even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10) Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes
11) Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day
12) Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13) Family is about more than just blood
14) What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15) Losing you temper can be very... hair-raising...
16) "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17) Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18) There are exceptions to every rule.
19) Always verify bad new before doing something stupid.
20) Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21) Love means being willing to scrifice your happiness for another's.
22) Cold hands = Warm heart.
23) Not breathing is uncomfortable... (I'm not even going to say anything.)
24) Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair
25) Romeo was an idiot... But then that makes Edward and idiot to doesn't it? Ponder over that!
26) Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27) Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28) Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29) Space heaters can be very annoying (coughJacobcough)
30) Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

If you think animals should be able to talk, and that it would be really cute, copy and paste
If you have ever had a mental breakdown during an exam, throwing your paper to the ground and all, copy and paste
If you like being weird, and laugh at those that are the same, copy and paste
If life gave you lemons, and you take the lemons and make smutty FanFiction with them, (that doesn't mean you post them either...) copy and paste
If FanFiction took over your life, copy and paste
If you listen to the same song over and over again and never get tired of it, copy and paste
If you believe that Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper and Edward all rose the standard for men everywhere, copy and paste
I like sharp things. I'm depressed. You're standing next to me. I catch your eye and wiggle the sharp object. If you think you should run now, copy and paste.
TWILIGHT - story idea? - TWILIGHT - story idea? - TWILIGHT - story idea? - TWILIGHT - story idea? - TWILIGHT - STORY IDEA!! If this is what is constantly running through your mind, copy and paste.

Find a guy who calls you BEAUTIFUL instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat.
Or will stay awake, just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who thinks you're just as pretty without make-up on.
One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares.
And how lucky he is to have YOU
The one that turns to his friends and says... "That's her."

Love means holding onto someone as tight as you can because if you don't they might disappear... forever.When a boy is quiet ... millions of things are running in his mind.
When a boy is not arguing ... he is thinking deeply.
When a boy looks at u with eyes full of questions ... he is wondering how long you will be around.
When a boy answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... he is not at all fine..
When a boy stares at you ... he is wondering why you are lying.
When a boy let you lays on his chest ... he is wishing for you to be his forever..
When a boy wants to see you everyday... he wants to be yours 4eva.
When a boy says ' I love you ' ... he means it.
When a boy says ' I miss you ' ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person...

(='.'=) This is Bunny. Help Bunny achieve World Domination by copying this into your profile...he liks twilight too!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

If you believe that over half of all you say/write/think doesn't come out right and is complete stupidity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you think that the Twilight series will rule the universe, copy this into your profile.

If you belive your own cullen boy is out there somewhere, add this.

If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with any or all of the Cullens, but you don't really care because you don't want to heal quite frankly, post this. (Yes, I do, okay? Get over it! I don't care! ;) )

If whenever you see or hear the name 'Edward,Jasper,emmett or Jacob' you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much and then people stare at you and tell you to shut up and let it go, post this.

If the only thing you think about is the Twilight series copy and past this to your profile.

If your in love with a fictional character (like any of the Cullen brothers XD) copy and paste this to your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD(but i still like him idk why)

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward ro emmett. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Edward with your friends. Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely georgous!" and you know exactly who their talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but Twilight. Crazy is sitting in about every desk in your english class becasue you and your friends wont stop talking about Twilight and Edward so then your teacher tries to seperate you but it never works becasue the bond between Edward fans always bring you back together. Crazy is you and your friends shouting at the top of your lungs in public place that you are in love with the characters of twilight (several times a day).Crazy is when you try to hold your breath after learning that Edward and his family can. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous the Cullens are because you don't want a georgous Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The So Unknown by Slywolf9 reviews
I didn't plan on staying with Bella long after Edward left, but suddenly the days turned into weeks, into months. It was perfection and happiness, and nothing could take it away. Then one day Edward came back. JasperxBella
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 122,590 - Reviews: 1448 - Favs: 1,642 - Follows: 952 - Updated: 1/13/2011 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Delivered by firstsong1 reviews
On Hold Due to Injuries/RL Issues. Will be finished ASAP. Bella finds a new path to the Cullens, and to Jasper. Will their involvement lead to tragedy or will they end up saving each other? Bella/Jasper with the rest of the Cullens joining later on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 257,745 - Reviews: 1497 - Favs: 730 - Follows: 638 - Updated: 1/1/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Jasper, Bella
Who Spiked The Water Bottle? by epicbeast101 reviews
Stories about drunken Twilight characters. Somebody keeps spiking peoples water bottles. Random idea, rated T cuz I'm paranoid.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,241 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/12/2009 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Jacob
Breaking Dawn: The Parody by Annie Cullen xx reviews
What do you get when the Volturi crash Edward and Bella's wedding, and drunken Vampires? A Breaking Dawn Parody!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 6,103 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/12/2009 - Published: 7/15/2009
Confessions of the Twilight Mind by Audrey Storm reviews
the title says it all
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Now is the time reviews
*SEQUEL TO WHAT IS HAPPENING* HAVE TO READ FIRST TO UNDERSTAND. All has worked out. Bella and Jasper is getting their wedding. But what happens when Jake finds out, and Charlie dies. and who is out to get Bella this time?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 972 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Bella, Jasper
I am October, I go to broken arrow high, my friends including the cullens talk on face book, my best friend caleb who i am secretly in luv wif gets in a car wreck and cant walk and his parents die the cullens adopt him...then all secrets are unveiled.....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,032 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/9/2010 - Published: 11/11/2009
hilariouse cullen goodness reviews
just what the tital says a colection of hilariouse one shots starring the cullens! emmett has an idea pranks a drunk bella! answer the cookie question on the end of each chapter and you will be in it too!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,577 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/15/2010 - Published: 10/24/2009
what is happening reviews
after edward left bella is found by a voltrie member and is changed but doesn't remember her past. why is she angry at a certain bronze haired vampire why is she having flash backes?read to find out.please r&r!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,360 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/12/2009 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
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