BereniceSnape
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Joined 05-27-09, id: 1948805, Profile Updated: 06-15-15
Author has written 7 stories for Harry Potter, Fallout, and Death Note.

I'm Lisa. I'm 22. All I rick about is dick.

For gods sake if you read my fanfiction and can't tell it's a joke i have no idea what to say to you. I was pretty sure my phrasing would give it away, but apparently not. if you are reading this: I DO NOT PUBLISH SERIOUS FANFICTION EVERYTHING I WRITE IS PARODY (AND USUALLY MAKING FUN OF THE LESS THAN STELLAR WRITING IN CERTAIN FANDOMS).

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Finding Solace by bluekrishna reviews
Solas-POV. Solavellan. Trespasser spoilers. Not all that canon-compliant. Summary: Everyone has secrets. Not all are as earth-shattering as those kept by Solas, but the Inquisitor has her own fair share. Intrigued by her, the Dread Wolf will stop at nothing until he has sussed them all out. Be warned; M-rating for language and possibly triggering imagery. Extremely slow burn.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 87,183 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 18h - Published: 10/5/2015 - Solas, Lavellan
A Natural Disaster by Avonmora reviews
After the War, alliances are made and sealed. Eomer seals one of his with a marriage to a princess from a very different background. Will they ever learn to deal with one another or will they forever clash?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 67,896 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 2/3 - Published: 9/4/2014 - Eomer, Lothíriel
A Prayer to Consequence by Dehaxat reviews
The Inquisition has defeated Corypheus and Solas has vanished, though he left part of himself behind - in the form of a new life within the Inquisitor.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 55,410 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/2 - Published: 11/19/2015 - Cullen, Solas, Lavellan, Mythal
A Long and Winding Road by The Moonlily reviews
To flee from a dreadful fate, she is sent into hiding. But how can she hide her heart from the man who also holds her secret?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 63,706 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 10/30/2015 - [Lothíriel, Eomer]
Black Mambo by Tolehrer reviews
"I'm not trespassing, I'm lost!" She protested, backing away. "You are lost in the wrong place, then." Haldir has never trusted humans. It takes all of his faith in Galadriel to allow the girl he finds at the borders to live in Caras Galadhon - and then Galadriel orders him to train her. Aubrey just wants to get back to her world, and the duty she has left behind.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 41 - Words: 133,579 - Reviews: 416 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 1/31 - Published: 7/31/2015 - [Haldir, OC] Rúmil, Orophin
Invisible Touch by Garnet Seren reviews
Feelings and emotions are tricky things. But when people have secrets, and personal demons to deal with, things can get a whole lot harder. Especially in a world where nothing is clear cut, and presumptions can be costly... An unusual double romance of Trevelyan/Cullen AND Trevelyan/Solas (by reader request)... however, this is not a typical love triangle. FYI UK English not US.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 92 - Words: 127,031 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 1/31 - Published: 3/20/2015 - Trevelyan, Cullen, Solas, Varric T.
Eye of the Storm 2: Skyhold by Seab1rds0ng reviews
Four years after the Chantry explosion that started a war and ended their secret affair, mage Avery Hawke and the former Knight-Commander Cullen meet again in Skyhold, and get a second chance at a happy ending. Part 2 of Eye of the Storm.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 256,607 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/29 - Published: 8/9/2015 - Cullen, Varric T., Hawke (F), Inquisitor
Hurricane Jane: Plain Jane Two by Larry1710 reviews
After the events of Plain Jane in Thirteen Chapters, Jane is mad. She wants back into Middle Earth and has worked out a way to trick Fanfiction into putting her back there. There are many questions facing her though. Will she survive the trip back to Middle Earth? Will she end up somewhere safe? And where is that lump of a man known as Boromir? They have unfinished business.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,058 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 12/18/2015 - Published: 9/8/2014 - Boromir
In Sorrow With Pride by Actually-Fen-Harel reviews
It's been three years since he left her, without any of the explanations he promised to give, without so much as a goodbye. Now, she's faced with an unexpected specter from her past, who claims she's held the key to getting those answers all along. Will she find what she seeks, or will she choose a new path? Will sorrow or pride be her solace? Now she has the time to find out.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 55,071 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 9/13/2015 - Published: 4/18/2015 - [Abelas, Lavellan] [Solas, Inquisitor]
Sue Effect by Ridley the Violator reviews
J@n shepherd haz bean alone all her lief-butt naow seh fnds lvvvr in oonexpacted plorces.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,705 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/13/2012 - Shepard (F), Nihlus K.
The Pink Ending by Semerket reviews
The key to defeating the reapers is not quite what Shepard expected. A crack!fix-it ending.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,630 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/21/2012 - Shepard (F), Harbinger - Complete
Afterwards by Lilith Morgana reviews
They have each other perfectly measured. Fenris/Hawke.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,405 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Hawke (F), Fenris - Complete
And on the Seventh Day He Sqyubbed by Sqyub reviews
Satan was displeased with Adam and Even's plain, vanilla sex. How were they supposed to horrify and sicken the Lord if he didn't invent kink?
Bible - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 742 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/24/2011 - Adam, Eve - Complete
Running From Romance by LittleBlueNayru reviews
Link is running from unwanted love. Whose affections is he trying to escape? Oh, just those of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES! Completely insane. Run if you're scared. RHO; Random Humorous Oneshot.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,732 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Link - Complete
Take Me Into Your Ark by RoboCop Jane reviews
Wild times in the old testament! A true stroke of genius from The Cop. Rated M... no, seriously.
Bible - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 16 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Jesus, Noah - Complete
Call on me, Saruman! Call on! by BakaProductions reviews
What J.R.R Tolkien found too stupid to put into the books. Legolas spins the saddle twice before putting it on the horse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Complete
PlayBird by Peridot Tears reviews
Companion to SPECIAL INTERVIEW: LIVE. The owls of Ga'Hoole are going to starr in PlayBird! Their demented tormentor hath returned! What will happen to the poor little dild-- Ahem, never mind 8DDDD Crack. One-shot.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,377 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Complete
The Milkberry Cafe by ezyl reviews
The Milkberry Cafe closes down as a signature and farewell to the owl who died in the hole. Goodbye, folks. I hope you enjoyed joking around with Playbird issues as much as I did... RATED M.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,977 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/18/2009 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Complete
No Thank You by Sarah1281 reviews
What if the Dursley family had taken the more practical route of treating Harry kindly in order to keep him away from magic? What if it worked? What if he wants nothing to do with the wizarding world and Dumbledore has to solve his own problems for once?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,608 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 1,495 - Follows: 266 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
The Legend of Zelda: The Map of Love by UnknownUntitled reviews
Link has not been to Clocktown in over seven years, and he is excited to see his secret lover. Maybe he finally has the chance express his feelings....crack LinkxTingle fan fiction
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 723 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/11/2007 - Link, Tingle - Complete
The Legend of Tingle by EternalFlare reviews
A short parody of the Legend of Zelda, featuring Sauron, Darth Vader, and everyone's favourite person, Tingle!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,007 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/16/2007 - Tingle, Link - Complete
A Previously Untold Story Until Just Now by Elf Asato reviews
The SHAM saga continues with Sheik x Mailbox and Ganondorf x Hoover. Sheik tells a story that was previously untold until just now.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 307 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/19/2006 - Sheik, Ganondorf - Complete
Woof Woof! Get Along, Little Triforce by Elf Asato reviews
[SHAM] Link and Sheik talk about the Triforce.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/10/2006 - Link, Sheik - Complete
How Hogwarts Became a Nudist Colony by Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands reviews
Harry Potter arrives at school to find the students nude. Where are their clothes? Why are the Houses getting along better? What does Hermione and Snape have to do with the nudity? Well, read it and find out! Hints of HrGSS, but mostly just nudity.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,674 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 5/3/2006 - Published: 12/19/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
What Goes Around Comes Around by Elf Asato reviews
The latest installment in the SHAM series... Link, Sheik, and Nabooru gossip about Ganondorf's lovelife.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 408 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/1/2005 - Ganondorf, Sheik - Complete
Hyrule by Elf Asato reviews
[Drabble] Ganondorf loves the beautiful Hyrule.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/11/2005 - Ganondorf - Complete
The Big Day by Elf Asato reviews
A continuation of the SheikMailbox SHAM series! Sheik and his mailbox finally tie the knot... Vague references to LinkMasterSword and ZeldaWashingMachine.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 650 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Published: 8/13/2004 - Sheik, Link - Complete
The Tragic Tale of Link and Mr Pointy by Elf Asato reviews
LinkMaster Sword smuttishness. 'Nuff said. Vaguely related to Sheik and the Mailbox.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,191 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/17/2004 - Link, Sheik - Complete
Sheik and the Mailbox by Elf Asato reviews
A short drabble, but full of SheikMailbox goodness
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 550 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/8/2004 - Sheik - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

How The Stars Shine For You reviews
Light and L star-gaze before making love under the midnight skies. Light/L.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/4/2015 - [L, Light Y.] - Complete
Heat It Up reviews
Light pleasures himself thinking about Ryuzaki.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 666 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/1/2015 - Light Y., L - Complete
A Very Birthday Sequel reboot reviews
Light and L have established a relationship and L's birthday is on the horizon. What kind of sexy birthday surprise will Light have for our favorite detective ;)?
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 879 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/1/2015 - [L, Light Y.] Soichiro Y., Matsuda T.
A Very Birthday Sequel
L and Light have established their relationship and things are going well. L's birthday is coming up and Light wants it to be the best birthday he' ever experienced. L/Light M/M YAOI YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 786 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/28/2014 - [L, Light Y.] Soichiro Y., Matsuda T.
The Sweetest Night reviews
L makes Light's first time beautiful.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,356 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/2/2014 - [L, Light Y.] - Complete
Romance In Mojave reviews
Edited for spelling mistakes; added author's note. I don't even know. Prompt from a conversation: "Yes, Boone's relentlessly fucking the back panel and causing it to rapidly change channels as he does so." "M!Courier/wilted carrot."
Fallout - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 506 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/12/2012 - C. Boone, Vulpes Inculta - Complete
Love Knows No State reviews
Severus Snape finds his true love. Not DH compliant. A response to Wotcher-Tonks' "Never Before Seen Pairing" challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Albus D., Severus S. - Complete