BereniceSnape
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Joined 05-27-09, id: 1948805, Profile Updated: 06-15-15
Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, Fallout, and Death Note.

I'm Lisa. I'm 22. All I rick about is dick.

For gods sake if you read my fanfiction and can't tell it's a joke i have no idea what to say to you. I was pretty sure my phrasing would give it away, but apparently not. if you are reading this: I DO NOT PUBLISH SERIOUS FANFICTION EVERYTHING I WRITE IS PARODY (AND USUALLY MAKING FUN OF THE LESS THAN STELLAR WRITING IN CERTAIN FANDOMS).

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Sue Effect by Ridley the Violator reviews
J@n shepherd haz bean alone all her lief-butt naow seh fnds lvvvr in oonexpacted plorces.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,705 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/13/2012 - Shepard (F), Nihlus K.
The Pink Ending by Semerket reviews
The key to defeating the reapers is not quite what Shepard expected. A crack!fix-it ending.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,630 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/21/2012 - Shepard (F), Harbinger - Complete
And on the Seventh Day He Sqyubbed by Sqyub reviews
Satan was displeased with Adam and Even's plain, vanilla sex. How were they supposed to horrify and sicken the Lord if he didn't invent kink?
Bible - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 742 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/24/2011 - Adam, Eve - Complete
Running From Romance by LittleBlueNayru reviews
Link is running from unwanted love. Whose affections is he trying to escape? Oh, just those of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES! Completely insane. Run if you're scared. RHO; Random Humorous Oneshot.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,732 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Link - Complete
Take Me Into Your Ark by RoboCop Jane reviews
Wild times in the old testament! A true stroke of genius from The Cop. Rated M... no, seriously.
Bible - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 20 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Jesus, Noah - Complete
Call on me, Saruman! Call on! by BakaProductions reviews
What J.R.R Tolkien found too stupid to put into the books. Legolas spins the saddle twice before putting it on the horse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Complete
PlayBird by Peridot Tears reviews
Companion to SPECIAL INTERVIEW: LIVE. The owls of Ga'Hoole are going to starr in PlayBird! Their demented tormentor hath returned! What will happen to the poor little dild-- Ahem, never mind 8DDDD Crack. One-shot.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,377 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Complete
The Milkberry Cafe by ezyl reviews
The Milkberry Cafe closes down as a signature and farewell to the owl who died in the hole. Goodbye, folks. I hope you enjoyed joking around with Playbird issues as much as I did... RATED M.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,977 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/18/2009 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Complete
No Thank You by Sarah1281 reviews
What if the Dursley family had taken the more practical route of treating Harry kindly in order to keep him away from magic? What if it worked? What if he wants nothing to do with the wizarding world and Dumbledore has to solve his own problems for once?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,608 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 1,776 - Follows: 346 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
The Legend of Zelda: The Map of Love by UnknownUntitled reviews
Link has not been to Clocktown in over seven years, and he is excited to see his secret lover. Maybe he finally has the chance express his feelings....crack LinkxTingle fan fiction
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 723 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/11/2007 - Link, Tingle - Complete
The Legend of Tingle by EternalFlare reviews
A short parody of the Legend of Zelda, featuring Sauron, Darth Vader, and everyone's favourite person, Tingle!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,007 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/16/2007 - Tingle, Link - Complete
A Previously Untold Story Until Just Now by Elf Asato reviews
The SHAM saga continues with Sheik x Mailbox and Ganondorf x Hoover. Sheik tells a story that was previously untold until just now.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 307 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/19/2006 - Sheik, Ganondorf - Complete
How Hogwarts Became a Nudist Colony by Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands reviews
Harry Potter arrives at school to find the students nude. Where are their clothes? Why are the Houses getting along better? What does Hermione and Snape have to do with the nudity? Well, read it and find out! Hints of HrGSS, but mostly just nudity.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,674 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 5/3/2006 - Published: 12/19/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
What Goes Around Comes Around by Elf Asato reviews
The latest installment in the SHAM series... Link, Sheik, and Nabooru gossip about Ganondorf's lovelife.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 408 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/1/2005 - Ganondorf, Sheik - Complete
Hyrule by Elf Asato reviews
[Drabble] Ganondorf loves the beautiful Hyrule.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/11/2005 - Ganondorf - Complete
The Big Day by Elf Asato reviews
A continuation of the SheikMailbox SHAM series! Sheik and his mailbox finally tie the knot... Vague references to LinkMasterSword and ZeldaWashingMachine.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 650 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Published: 8/13/2004 - Sheik, Link - Complete
The Tragic Tale of Link and Mr Pointy by Elf Asato reviews
LinkMaster Sword smuttishness. 'Nuff said. Vaguely related to Sheik and the Mailbox.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,191 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/17/2004 - Link, Sheik - Complete
Sheik and the Mailbox by Elf Asato reviews
A short drabble, but full of SheikMailbox goodness
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 550 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/8/2004 - Sheik - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

It's a love story, baby, just say, yes
Begonia Starlight Vega and Boone realize their love. No one will tear them apart, not even that ginger hussy Cass or Boone's dead wife.
Fallout - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Published: 7/24/2016 - [C. Boone, Courier] Arcade G., Cass - Complete
How The Stars Shine For You reviews
Light and L star-gaze before making love under the midnight skies. Light/L.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/4/2015 - [L, Light Y.] - Complete
Heat It Up reviews
Light pleasures himself thinking about Ryuzaki.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 666 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/1/2015 - Light Y., L - Complete
A Very Birthday Sequel reboot reviews
Light and L have established a relationship and L's birthday is on the horizon. What kind of sexy birthday surprise will Light have for our favorite detective ;)?
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 879 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/1/2015 - [L, Light Y.] Soichiro Y., Matsuda T.
A Very Birthday Sequel
L and Light have established their relationship and things are going well. L's birthday is coming up and Light wants it to be the best birthday he' ever experienced. L/Light M/M YAOI YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 786 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/28/2014 - [L, Light Y.] Soichiro Y., Matsuda T.
The Sweetest Night reviews
L makes Light's first time beautiful.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,356 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/2/2014 - [L, Light Y.] - Complete
Romance In Mojave reviews
Edited for spelling mistakes; added author's note. I don't even know. Prompt from a conversation: "Yes, Boone's relentlessly fucking the back panel and causing it to rapidly change channels as he does so." "M!Courier/wilted carrot."
Fallout - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 506 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/12/2012 - C. Boone, Vulpes Inculta - Complete
Love Knows No State reviews
Severus Snape finds his true love. Not DH compliant. A response to Wotcher-Tonks' "Never Before Seen Pairing" challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Albus D., Severus S. - Complete