Poll: What is you favorite song in Animaniacs? Vote Now!
Author has written 8 stories for Animaniacs.
Hello, my name is... Not going to be given to you. With a pen like mine, why would I tell you, no offence. I came here for three reasons. One, to get another reason to have abosolutely no social life. Two, to let free the story ideas that have been sitting in my head free. Three, to try to make this site have better stories then the Mary Sue filled romances that litter this site.
If you want to flame me out of anger of one of my earlier reviews of your stories, or for crappy the ones I am writing. Take a hard look at my profile pitcure.
Are you still mad?
Status: With school, I am not sure how often I will be able to update.
Promotion: Your story being reported? The Truth or Dare witch hunt got you scared? You fear that Fanfictions formatting rules will get you next? Then come down to
There, your story will be safe from being deleted, and can be enjoyed just as it is. Sure, the site is pretty basic, and you need an account to just about anything, but you will be in an air of freedom, in a site run by the writers rather then boring pencil pushers.
I am a half insane loner that has ALOT of time on his hands. For some reason I have this deep love of animanition, do not really know why, but I do. I write to relieve steam and express my inner feelings... Ok, I can't take this. I write when I am bored or have an idea that I can't stand to keep it in. I am a mystery to everyone that I know, and I like to keep it that way.
Brief History of me on Fanfiction:
I came on the site one day while looking up teen titan...stuff... When I got engrossed through many stories. I became a critic of this site (and most likely angered many people). I went through many stages of mental instablility and my interests, such as perverted, rommanitic, and depression stages followed. However, the endless droll of Teen Titan rommances that made me lose intrest. I then went to other unexlpored areas of the internet. Then I came on a movie/tv reviewer, the Nostalgia Critic. I found his reviews to be extremely funny and reminded me of many childhood memories. One of them was Animaniacs. After seeing his "top 11 animated series" I went on youtube and looked up Batman: TAS and Animanaics. I discovered that they were better now then when I was a kid because I could apperiacte the humor and wit with Animaniacs and the darkness and phyclogical background of Batman: the animated series. Went back to fanfiction and read A! stories. I had many stories ideas but was not sure to get an account. I then discovered Jack's Sonic Truth and Dare and decided I need to write fanfiction. My current state is wakky humor, and thus that is what I try to write. I know have declared war on the adminstartors and the flamers that had one of my favorite stories, and my most reviewed one.
Brief History of Animation:
It started out as sort of self drawing pitcures at the turn of the 19 century. Eventionally being able to move characters was mastered, and simple stories were being told. Such as, Felix the cat have alot of children and commiting...suicide. Or the Classic Steam boat Willie with Mickey Mouse...playing bagpipes with geese and playing with babies like a accordian...Yeah, early cartoons were not made for children, not at all. Most companies try to pretend that this period of racism, violence and sexism did not ever happen. Then we went into WW2. Animation, like all other forms of media, was changed to help support the war with moral. Characters like Betty Boop try to tie over G.I.s that were on leave while others like Donald and Daffy Duck appeared to make fun of the Germans, with the former messing up one of Hilter's speaches, and the latter appearing in one were he has a horrible nightmare he is a german factory work (heiling any photos of Hitler he saw). The post war years was the golden age of animation, with the conservitive american home all gathering around to see Tom and Jerry beat the crap out of each other. Disney started to do his first animated films. Life was good. Then the 60's came about.
This was the point when programming started to be focused on children, and real artists were thrwon out. First there was the cartcoms, cartoon sitcoms, such as the Jetsons, Flintstones, etc. Though these had a far share of slapstick, they were much more tame. Studios were cutting out frames of animation and were making any thing that did not need to be moved, it stayed still. Loopying backgrounds, statick characters, this all seen in any early episode of Scooby Doo. Then Educational cartoons came in when Moms that want to shield their children from life were complaining how violent cartoons were, even though their is no way how a child would ever get his hands on an anivil to try and crush a Road Runner with.
Then we hit the 80's. Not only did this try to take the corner cutting animation, it tried to just have a cartoon to sell toys. Transformers was a toy before it was a cartoon, creating 90 of all the characters to trick little kids out of money (that as the reason they killed off Optimus Prime in the animated film, to replace him with a new robot, and boy do they regret doing that). Other shows G.I. Joe and He-man took this succseful idea and implemeted it with ease. Soon, every cartoon had a toy line attached to it. Disney was making nothing at the time and was relying on live action shows. Many studios deaged their characters to make baby shows. Even though the 80's were filled to the brim with the metality of animation is for kids, there were some bright spots. The 80's were when Don Bluth created his best flims, I still consider the Secret of NYMH to be the greatest animated film of all time, since it treated its audience as adults. However, it still looked like animation was doomed forever, then Roger Rabbit came out.
Roger Rabbit was the kick in the but animation needed. It brought back classic characters who had not seen the big screen in years and put them all in the same place. The show showed that one could entertain children and adults, with the adult jokes just going over the head of the children. This started the Renossanice of animation. Warner Brothers created some Loony Toons shorts and created new shows like Tiny Toons and Animaniacs that took the child and adult entertainment to a new level. Disney went back to it's musical movies instints, though making alittle darker to (don't believe me? Watch Huntchback now and you will find what got past us as kids.) They also started to do Adventure shows, like Duck Tales, though not funny, they were fun. The the greatest show that came out of all this was Batman: The animated series. It was pitch dark, the characters were deep, and the stories did not always ended well. Nick produced the only good shows it have ever had in this time. Also, the first time that 3D animation was ever put into film (Toy Story). However small seeds of doom were planted in all this greatness.
Anime had latched onto the american youth for the first time, taking in the dumb violence Power Ranger fans. This popularity was two fold, to children and to excutives, who saw that importantion was alot cheaper then starting from scratch. This kept getting more poromint until we hit the 2000's. Traditional animation was again, fond to have cheaper alternatives, in this case flash. This made characters static again. 3D animation reign supreme in films while Television was having a war between anime, flash/3D animation, and the newer all adult cartoons. Adult does not equal mature simply because it adds in swear words and discusiting images in (i.e. Adult Swim). Like children shows, it is all fart jokes and mayhem. A few adult cartoon sitcoms, such as family guy and king of the hill, were based on if not blatantly ripping off, the simpsoms. Anime brought with it some of the strangest shows ever created, such as teenagers with swords as big as them selfs, little girls carrying around minguns, and bobo bobobobo. Anime also has some of the dumbest ideas for shows ever (Hogwarts for ninjas? Please). Most follow similar formulas that are found to be profitable, being a group of three connisting of the annoying lead, his even more annoying to be girlfriend, and the emo other, going around, having monsters being summoned from ball/card to fight other monsters, or mercily beat the crap out of other people. However, some anime have had better stories then the recent American animation has had, with shows like Death Note going deep into the morality of man and to find what truely is right and wrong. Current American animation either is copying Anime (Avatar being a prime example), having horrible computer animated stuff (such as Johnny Test), or 3D animated trash (such as Jimmy Nuetron). "American anime" brought all the strangness of the Japanese shows, as well as most of the clieche's. Flash animation has a low budget all around, so characters never move when it is not needed, voice acting is more like voice shrieking, and diologe so unfunny that it boggles the mind that anyone would invest in it. 3D animation is not better off. So PIXAR films are great but no other company is really good with it, creating a of load of 3D dimensional crap (such as Star Wars: Clone Wars). In 3D shows, models are reused constantly, stiff animations, faces that look like they are made out of clay, mostly bland characters and diologe and never dievenating from what works. A extra dimension does not make the show deeper. The Anime age is starting to die down and the road a head of us is unclear. Will animation ever again be anything besides stuff for children? We may never know.
My top 5 greatest animated series:
5. Gargoyles: Yes, I know Disney copied Batman with this show, but it was still could stand on it's own. The hereos were extremely deep and well rounded, the plots were thought out, and this proved that Disney did not need to be all about the Princesses. At the begining there was even real firearms and a swear or two thrown in. The mix of science and magic was done very well and for the most part knew how to balance them both. The only reason this is at the bottom of this list is because, the villians were bland and the series jumped the shark at the end. Sure, Demona and Macbeth were both deep, with a unbreakable link that had literally caused them to both hate each other and also unable to live unless the other is alive, forcing them into an endless fight with each other that had lasted a thousand years. I also liked Puck/Owen, the little trickster/most wooden man on earth that he was. The other villians were unimpressive by a villian stand point, we basically had lex luthor with hair, and evil versian of the xmen, two of which remind me of team rocket, a terminator ripoff, an evil clone, random characters from myth, and that is basically it. The series also kind of went down hill after the great Avolon ark, with the world tour tiring. It made a brief comback after that, only for it to go even further into the ground with the horrible 3rd season, which through out everything that made the show good. Still, it is a great show, which the entire series is availble on youtube if you want to watch it.
4. Tiny Toons: This was the rebirth of classic Loony Toons for Warner Brothers. When this show came out when alot of old character were turned to babies (Pub Named Scoob, Muppet Babies, ect.), however, unlike those other shows, this show could entertain more people then just four yearolds. It took what was found to be funny in Roger Rabbit (which was produced by Steven Spliegberg) and applied it to a TV show. The new characters were all funny, the old ones were intergrated quite well. Also many Jokes were written for adults as well as for kids. It laid down the fondations for shows to come.
3. Pinky and the Brain: I might be cheating to put this one on the list, being that is a sin-off, and other reasons that will become odvious in a second, but it still was one of the greatest cartoon spinoff's ever. The show was very sifisticated in it's humor but still had enough to entertain the children. Also Pinky and the Brain personalities are so different yet clash together so well. It also gave us Narf, and all we need is Narf.
2. Animaniacs: This is the last show that ever really captured the spirit of the orginal Loony Tunes. The show was the only variety show their was for kids, and each character and their segments were all thought out well. From the insane Warner Brothers (and the warner Sister), to the cranky retired toon Slappy, to the silence of Mr. Skullhead. The show also had some of the best music ever put into a show, with the masterful hands of Richard Stone at the helm (god rest his soul) they have songs that still cause me to randomly hum them. The animation was some of the greatest, with all the movements seaming all fluid and natrual (stretching arms and flatening body parts nonwithstanding). It is so good you often don't notice how good it is, which as an animimater is the greatest praise you can ask for. So many of the Jokes are for adults that I only get it now and wonder how the censors did not catch half of it. Animaniacs even taught us without realising it, and made fun! If you don't believe me, think of how many times you tried to remember Yakko's world. If a show can make you teach yourself about geograph without even reilesing it, then you know it is doing its job. It is funnier now a days since it first aired since one can get the jokes and the hidden inunendues.
1. Batman: The animated Series: This is show is god. Everything about this show is shouts near perfect. The tone and settings are dark and beautiful. The music (which was done by an orcastra mind you) fit perfectly. The stories were all well thought out. The characters were all great, acting like real people. This show took it's addiacince seriosly and treated them as adults, breaking from the bounds of what can be done on animated show. It did not show that fighting was some awesome fantasy like G.I. Joe did, it made it seam like an act of desperation or revenge. Alot of the characters were like you are me before their lives were torn apart by tradgy. The villians captured the esence of their comic counter parts to a nail, with Mark Hamles's joker seam like he just walked off the comic book and was animated (I rate him second on my Joker list, right after Heath). The batman of the series makes both the Bruce and Batman sides of the character work well, which even the movies have yet fully to achieve. Their was also many new villians, most notable being Harly Quiin, who was put into the comic after the show. The best character on the show was Mr. Freeze. Before the show he was a mad scientist that just happen to choose ice. They changed him to an extremely tragic figure you could not help but simposize with, and have one of the coolest (no pun intended) villain voices ever (imaging a rasper Hal 9,000). His orgin was even taken in for the Movie Batman and Robin (of course every other aspect of the character was thrown away for the campy style of the 60's show). One of the two episodes that he appeared (Heart of Ice) in won an Emmy, and, in my opnion, one of the greatest episodes of television ever (right up there with "Goodluck, Farewell, and Amen", form MASH). If you have not seen this show, do your self a favor and do so now. Yes, go onto youtube and watch it right now. STOP READING THIS AND GO! You can thank me later.
Top 5 most hated cartoons:
5. Captain planet: This show was so bland and so borring. It was one of many of Ted Turner's (the guy that believes in depopulating the Earth to save the enviroment) childern teaching creations that annoyed more than left any kind of impact. The five planeteers are extremely dumb teenagers that could not use there powers in a logicalical way if there life depends on it (and it often does). Also, I really hate Wheeler, why such a hot head would be entrusted with fire is beyond me. The villians were so cliched that I could not help but choke. Their plans are so riduclose that I could not help but role my eyes (try to turn a town against a kid with HIV to take over the world? OKKKK...) Captain Planet himself just blorted out horrible catch praise after horrible catch praise. At times it is possible to see the bottom of his butt cheeks due to his extremely small custume. Also, he has the dumbest weakness ever, pollution. At least krypotonite could not be found in any back alley. The only good thing that came out of all this? Some catchy Animaniacs cross promotion songs when both shows were on Kids WB. I have heard that Ted Turner wants to have control of Time Warner and rebroadcast Captain Planet on Cartoon Network so kids can learn to save the enviroment. If that happens, I will beat him with his "heart."
4. Sonic Undergound: We all know how bad the "Adventures of Sonic The Hedghog" because of Youtube poops. But the Sonic cartoons redeemed them selfs with Sonic:Satam. After the canceled Sonic:satam, instead of contuing the plot and telling us what the heck those red eyes belong to, they just through together this show. The character design was awful, if not down write discusting at times. The worst is Sonic's siblings (that have not been seen since the show) which look like something desiesed pulled out of the sewer. The characters were boring, and the audienece does not care about them in the slightest. There is no form of logical reasoning in the show This shows killing blow? The music. It tore through your brain like a bullet.
3. Loony toons Unleashed: How do you screw up loony tunes? A series that has basically was one of the fondations for animantion. Give them lasers, take away all forms of comedy, and give them the stupidest jump suits ever, that is how! Why change a formula that has worked for over 60 years? To violent you say? How is shooting at people any less violent then hitting them with mallets? And tell me why Bugs Bunny is yellow? YELLOW! It's his decendent? Who did bugs mate with to produce lemon colored children? This show simple should not exist.
2. Pokemon: Plotless, pointless, annoying, boring, logicless, characters that you can only dream of murdering, and a theme song so bad it haunts me to this very day. It's popularity also was one of the main reasons Batman and Animanaics were cancelled. I don't need to say more.
1. Batman: The Brave and the Bold: What happened Batman? Your on the top on my other list, how did you get here at the bottom of this one? Simple, you went back to the 60's. The campy colorful style of the Adom west TV show. It did not work in Batman Forever or Batman and Robin, why do you think it would work now? None of Batman's pyscological issues are ever adressed and Bruce Wayne is basically non existant. We don't ever go to Gotham, and rarely see any of Batman's villians ever. Instead, we see the lamest villians of lesser known heroes of the DC universe (one of them is a talking gurilla that has an army of laser wielding gurrilas that fly on pterosaurs. I don't know what they were smoking either). The show seams to try to do everything to make sure the dark batman we all know and love does not exist, having the screen so bright and colorful that it can make your eyes bleed. At one point the character Bat-mite (most annoying character from the comcis that won't just die) says that this interpretation is as good as any of the depressing ones. The series it self gives a middle finger to the fans for expecting something deep and says its colorful style is just as good. Thinking about it, everything seams to about something else besides Batman. We mostly focus on Batman's annoying sidekicks, which are basically other DC heroes that no one has ever heard of (raise your hand if you ever heard of Plasticman before... did not think so). Why are we even calling this series Batman anymore? One, every other character creates slightly more fantacies about murdering them and two his name would attract viewers no matter how bad the show is. And boy it is this the scum of human waste. Don't see it, RUN AWAY! FLEE!
My Favorite animated films:
5. Who framed Roger Rabbit: This was what made animation great again. This literally brought us back to the classic period of animation and showed us that it does not all have to be toy tie ins. This is the greatest combination of live action and animation ever, and makes it seam plausible that such a world could exist. The flim combines the tenisty and drama of the best cop mysteries and the silly loud nature of old fashion animated shorts. There is also a lot of jokes that either have double meanings or just straight out sexual in nature. It also brings most of the major cartoon stars from the past from MGM, Disney, and even Warner Brothers, and is the only time Bugs Bunny and Micky Mouse have ever appeared on screen together. Eventionally, Steven Spielberg and some of the writers would go on to do Tiny Toons and Animaniacs.
4. The Huntchback of Norta Dame: Of all the Disney animated musicalss, this one is the only one that does not follow set princess story of all the others. The, Princess gets captured/put under some spell/etc. then is saved by some heroic boy/dwarfs/monster, who fights a witch/soccerror/etc. This movie takes all that and throws it off a cliff. It does not star a princess or have a magical characters (unless you count the gargoyles, though they might be the dellusion). The main character does not get the "Princess" in the end. Several characters get brutally murdered ON SCREEN. Quasimodo suffers extreme birth defects that mark him as a monster. What I really like about this film is the villian. Disney has many great villians, Scar, the evil Step mother, so on, but Frollo takes the cake. He has one of the best preformences of a voice character, you believe him every second. He murder an innocent woman, try to kill her baby, taught that baby he is an ugly freak, lusts over woman, offers their freedom for sex, all while believing he is a good Christian. He convinced him self and the whole of Paris that what he does is what God wants, which literally pulls the city and himself apart. Not to mention he sings one of the greatest songs ever put into film, "Hellfire." It is both extremely bueatiful and will scare the crap out of you.
3. Up: This is a film that will make no sense if you think about it to hard. An old guy whose wife just died, whose house is about to be pushed out for a building project, wants to forfill his and his wife's long time dream to build a house on a cliff in South America, ties a million balloons to his house to fly it away, and gets joined by a boy scout, a multicolor ostrage, and a talking dog. But seeing it, you will not care. Who need logic when you have such creativity, originality, sadness, warmth, and a thousand laughs, most envolving the talking dog. The only movie this summer that is worth a crap.
2. Batman: Mask of The Phantasm: You are probolly squarching your head right now thinking, there was an animated batman film? I only heard about it from the Nostalgia critic, and boy, am I glad I decided to watch it. Yes, based on the animated series and released around the same time as Batman Forever. It is unknown due to its piss poor advertising. Strangly, the animated film is deeper, darker, and much more adult rather then the live action film. This film goes deep into Batman's past, showing how life could of been bright and happy, but had to deal with what the world really is like. This movie, unlike even Dark Knight and Tim Burton's Batman, has no really big weeknesses, but does have the main stregths of the other two films. I would go as far as to say that I like this movie just as much as Dark Knight. If you can find this, you should check it out.
1. The Secret of NIMH: Ok, another unknown jem, NIMH is really deep. Ms. Bisbee is not some clever hero, but a mother despertly trying to save the life of her child. She goes through a world of nature, science, and the unknown to save him. It goes in to many deep subjects, all prelevent and non shoved right into your face. Don Blooth really figured out how to balance everything out. From the magical great owl, to the home of the Rats, everything is both bueatiful and forbidding, but the courage of Ms. Brisbee really pushes us all through. If you have never seen this master-piece, go and watch it anyway you can.
Top five worst animated movies:
5. The Tom and Jerry movie: Oh Tom and Jerry, the two greatest slapstic comedic duo in the histroy of animation. How could a movie about them be bad? It starts out well enough, Tom and Jerry's house is rolled over in some classic slapstic glory they are known for. Tom's owner had left him there and the two are forced into the city. The first act then is just them figuring out if they should work together to survive or should they go their seperate ways. Without words the film makers made a very thought proking sence... till some dog in colorful neon clothes he pulled out of some dumpster appears. He talks about how they need to join together... blah blah blah, I was just waving my hand hoping he would go away, till he asks for their names. And you know what they did? They answered. Yep, Tom and Jerry talked. Not in some over the top accient or a scream, no TOM AND JERRY TALKED. The term "silence is golden" seam to have no meaning hear, since after they talked, they started to sing, BADLY. I believe my ear drums were bleeding after THE FIRST song. Then the dog gets captured, they run into some "street cats" (Hur hur hur) go around without much of a plot till we meet a little girl. This little girl then tells the mouse and cat she can some how understand (never explained in the slightest) how her father is gone, her mother is dead, and her aunt is the devil. Not only is this as deppressing as you can possibly be while going by every cliche in the book, it has nothing to do with the SLAPSTICK COMEDY OF TOM AND JERRY. We go to her house, they do the SECOND OF ONLY THREE SCENES WITH SLAPSTICK IN IT, get sent to the pound, the girl's aunt sings about money, I beat my head in with a brick, the pound keeper smiles creepily at a icecream cart, and we finally get to the climax, where tom, Jerry, and the girl are trying to get away on the boat, while being chased by a fat lady, her butler, a dog on a scatboard, two burglars, and a creepy doctor on an icecream cart. They get away, the girl sets off a fire in a cabin they were running to, and it seams Tom and Jerry DIE. They lived, get adapted by the girl and her father. Then we get a final scene of them running amuck, and the credits roll. To all film makers that want to rape the ever loving crap of a beloved series, watch this movie and learn (Micheal Bay, I'm looking at you).
4. Star wars: The clone wars: No, not the awsome animated show that was based on the clone wars, which was better thought out, had better characters, and was just a million times better then the prequels, no. This is the god awful adaption... midquel... the 3d animated film from 2008. First off, the story is crowbarred into the continuality of the rest of the series, since characters and events that have not been mentioned before were thrown in for no reason. For example, Anakin is given a padawaan for no reason, Jabba has a son, and all the jedi have got there hands on cement hairdues. Ok, the last one is not technically true, but if you thought the acting was wooden in the prequel triligy was wooden, these guys look as if there made of wood. Also, Anakin's padawaan that was thrown in? She is such a cocky, unloyal, useless and annoying characterm I am looking a Jar Jar more favorably then her (but not by much). Their is also an attempt to make us care for the Clones, to make them seam human and all that crap, but we know they are going to be slaughtering all that they see soon, so what is the point? Since we know who lives and who dies already, there is no tension, no compassion, and the only thing that is left to do is to hold your head in shame thinking that George Lucas let one of the greatest science fiction series ever go this far into the trash.
3. All but about two of the sequels to Disney movies: Fine, I will admit that Rescuers down under was a good film, and I did like the 3rd sequel to Alladdin, parts of Fantasia 2000 were good, and I might be cheating by putting this in, but every other sequel, EVERY OTHER SEQUEL, feels just wrong. All of them are direct to video crap made years, YEARS, after the orginal was made. Since most of them have closed stories that basically shut out any sequels, they just wing it on some half written plot that rarely have any conflict, any villian, any thing that even is relating to the orginal plot. Most of them even had WORSE animation then the orginal. For example the sequel to Huntchback is about some special bell and Quasimota finding love. And their is NO FROLLO. I know the guy is dead, BUT COME ON, AT LEAST MENTION THE GUY! Of course most of them came out in the early 2000's, when the animation department was surviving by a thread before Treasure Planet cut that string (I have not seen that film so I don't know much about it), so it they all were just a plot to get incredible easy cashin without any regard to the orginals greatness.
2. Every sequel to a Don Bluth film: Ok, I am cheating at this point, but the quality of Don Bluth films declined, and the sequels are just painful. The land before time? One of the saddest films ever you say? Lets make half the sequels sing alongs! All dogs had a sequel proof ending? Lets give it one anyway, with a horrible plot about the devil... dog, or some crap like that? American Tale not exciting enough for you? Lets throw them into the old west for no good reason! What do you want to do with the sequel of the greatest animated film of all time? Lets throw a=out the interesting mother, send her once dieing son to save the Rats of Nimh even though they are more then cappable to defend against any attack, and forget about any form of plot half way through! I have no idea why Don Bluth lost half his skull, but he needs to find it before Land Before time... 40 comes out.
1. Titanic: The legend goes on: A film so bad, SO HORRID, that people debate IF THE THING EXISTS. Well, skurry onto youtube, and you will find it! Prepare for the pure conistrated pain it will cause. They steal every major detail of Titanic, burn all the good parts of the script, and replace it with stollen characters, ideas, and just about every cliche known to man. For example, their is a detective that dresses like Sherlock Homles, a evil stepmother who has two daughters (who wear red and green) and a "fake" daughter whose parents died, and a family of mice that want to go to America for freedom. Oh, did I mention the movie that says ON THE FREAKING BOX that these are the real adventures on the Titanic, has TALKING ANIMALS. And not only do they talk, THEY SING. Not only that, a dog, in 1912, RAPS. IT IS THE SING MOST PAINFUL SONG I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A MOVIE EVER!! Not only does the dog rap, HE WEARS A JERSEY AND NONE OF THE WORDS ARE SYNCED RIGHT. Oh, did I mention the animation will make your eyes bleed? Sure, it has the problems of jerky animations, reuse of many frames, and badly synchened voices, but the style of art is so unfocused and ugly, I have a hard time LOOKING AT THE THING. The boring plot, characters, the horrible songs, eyestrain beyond belief, all that has nothing, NOTHING, on the ending. So movie, how do you end a film about a voyage that over 3,000 people DIE in? An epilgoue did by some Spainsh kid that tells how peoples life were after the Titanic AND ENDED WITH "THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!! Some tribute TO THE GREATEST MARATINE DISASTER'S EVER.
Gaming as an Art:
I believe my that gaming can be more than shoot him then T-bag his head. I believe that gaming can be moving like an other form of medium, with just more viewer interactions. Games don't have to be just mindless murder sims, they can be beuatiful (note, I have nothing wrong with violence in video games, just when the violence is the only selling point). I love a game that has a soul. You might be wondering what gives a game a soul, so iitwill give you alittle comaprision. Take Halo 3, it had a developement team so large they could populate Belgium, each so distant from each other it takes an animator just to put all the mess of levels in some order that gives off a cliched plot. Half the time we are fighting in a horror like setting with the infected. The other half is fighting against enemy migets running away from you in pure fear. The game keeps switching to completely different locations (at one point we went from a beatiful beach to a icy montain to a giant mystical hallway, in the same level). The game is scisofrentic and disgonted. It also does not stray from what Halo 2 did, only adding afew new guns and some more bloom effects. You might start to flame saying it is all about the multiplayer and I should rot forever. Then why put the effort into the single player to begin with if I'm not suppose to play it? And when I did play the multiplayer I got yelled at by a bunch of twelve year olds and Tbagged everytime I died.
Now lets look at the idependently created alien homonid. This game is a wacky cartoony adventure that will bring keep the player laughing for hours. Your little alien is very expressive and funny, the violence is over the top cartoon violence, and is generally a fun ride. The level progression makes alot more sense and all fits in with the simple plot. That games developement team can all fit in a office cubical and all are knowing what every other person is doing. The whole thing was developed by two men Dan Paladin, Tom Fulp, who did the art work and programmed repectively. Both of them kept the starting vision of the game from the start to the final product. What ever orginality was inivsioned for Halo by developers was cut away for more shiny surfaces by lawyers. If a game keeps it's orginal vision, then it keeps the soul the designer planned for it.
Now Games that are art are always out sold by the standered gun metal grey shooter. Even back in the 8 bit earer more people bought Donkey Kong country for it's pretty prerendered graphics rather then Yoshi's island that had colorful crayon drawn look at more inovative gameplay. Recently however, games really started to come out as an art form. Take Braid for example, it has beautiful water colored backgrounds and absolutely gorgous violin music that is some of the best in the idustry. It takes the over used time mechanic and makes it feel fresh again. Another puzzle game "And Yet it Moves" make you in charge of how gravity faces, making a bunch of eye twisting puzzles. Games like these that try to reinvent games are simply being labeled as independent and are not getting the attention they should.
My top five favorite games
5. Plants vs. Zombies: This is possibly the dumbest zombie apocolispe defences conviced by man. Instead of using guns, chainsaws, or even pointy sticks, let us fight off the hoards by using sunflowers and giant seeds! However they take this idea and make it into the best tower defence game ever. Your resource for building is sunlight, which can fall from the sky but plants like sunflowers produce it. You use this sun light to plant all sorts of deadly plants, from thorns to butter throwing corn. The vast varieties of plants and zombies is what makes this game so fun. Sure, you start out against your brain dead walkers and only have a wall, a sunflower, and a peashooter plants, but soon you going up against the zombies from thriller and lobbing water mellons that freeze the zombies. In Pop cap tradition, everything is extremely cute and addictive. First time I sat down to play it, I had palyed it so long that when I got up again and found that it was the year 2390. Not really of course, but after every round you add a new plant, which you cannot wait to test out, making the game, just one more level, just on more level, grind. The comedy is really good, with zombies tellling you they are setting up an ambush or to do nothing to win the game while they come and eat your brains. Also it has the best after game song since Still alive. Though some of the minigames are not that good, the bowling one coming to mind, and the puns are not the best, like a "pea-shooter", "inivsagoul", and "repeater", it is a game you will play for quite a while for only 15 dollars.
4. Thief 2: To me, the Thief series is the only series that has done stealth well. None of that Splinter cell walk this way or die, or that metal gear writing that you need a spread sheet just to understand. In Thief you can choose your own path and explore the general area, discovering treasures and stuff while at it. You can go in and try to muscle your way through, but going the stealthing way is more fun. You always know how well you are hidden, you can make yourself completely invisible and you can defend your self if you screw the whole thing up. The writing is really where it is at, with a magical and steam punk world with the two parts constatntly at war with are protagonist always getting into the middle of it. Garret, as he is named, is much like the players of this sereis in that he is a social loner whose only friend is the shadows he lives in. At times it seam he just likes taunting the gaurds of the places he steals at times and enjoys it.
3. Silent Hill 2: This is a game about to things, the story and scaring the piss out of you. It nails both You always feel alone in this game, no one is there to help you, often the only sound is the creaking of your radio indicating an enemy is near by. This put you so far on your seat that any monsters will make you wet your self. The game does not need to have jump scares or chainsaw wielding guys to scare, unlike Resident Evil, no the game goes into the J-horror that I love and run away in fear from. The story is about an average every day guy like you and me forced to find his wife in this fog filled town, seeing people that look like her, and monsters that represent your very fears. Admittable the camera often faces where you don't want it to and the combat is crap. But both these flaws makes the game that much scarier, with each battle being a real threat and you often not being able to see what you need to. Turn off the lights for this game.
2. Flower: This game is beatiful. Their is no other way around it. This game is possible the most relaxing game of all time. If you own a PS3 and don't own this game, stop reading and GO AND GET IT! It is a ten dollar download, their is no escuse not to own it if you own the giant black 600 dollar brick. Anyway, you play what I imagine is a flower's dream, where your fly around collecting more pettles. I know this does not seam that exciting, but the presitation is what really makes the game work. Every blade of grass acts realistically to the wind, the music is just god, and the stuble story makes this game so fun. It is also the only game ever to use the six axis controls well, I'm not joking! It was so close to a tie but number one goes to...
1. Portal: What has not already been said about this game? The story and gameplay fit together so well it seams they are symies twins. You get the funniest writing ever in a video game. You must think with your head for once. Think with portals as it were. Half the fun is figuring out how to do the curses in different ways. You will never get tired of replaying it. GLaDOS is both threating and funny, making her one of the greatest video game villians ever. The game makes you both laugh and be sad when knocking those turrets over, laughing because what they are saying, and feeling sad for the cute voice they say it in. But the two points that really stand out for me is test number 17 and the credits. Now think to any form of media that made viewers cry over a box. A box that has not done anything on it's own, has not spoken a word, and only been around for about 10 minutes. The only one that you can possible think of is the Campanion Cube. They made you care about that cube so much that I cried when I was told to destory it, and I harvested all the little sisters in Bioshock with out so much as an ounce of guilt and watched . I cried for 15 minutes begging for GLaDOS to spare it till I gave up and threw it into the fire, then jumped in my self. That is some great story telling when you feel sorry for a freaking cube, a lovable, heart filled box. CAMPANION CUBE! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE! Umm... Anyway! The other point that really stood out is the credit. This is the only time that I willingly watched the entire credits on my first time for the Song "Still Alive." It is the funniest, happiest, and just best song ever put into a video game, possible greatest song ever. If you never played it, you have no idea what you are missing.
Five most hated games (I have a feeling putting these here will come to haunt me):
5. ET: The game that almost destroyed gaming. One of the, if not the first, movie tie in games ever. After landing I had no clue what to do. First I went left and fell into a hole. I used E.T.s power to levitate out of it and fell back in. It took me several tries to get back out. I then was brought to some really bland city place and was dropped off. I just contiuened and was relentlusly followed by peverete that wanted to do god who knows what to me. I kept going, collecting dots I found on the ground, and still had no idea what to do. I kept falling in pits, kept having to levitate out, and feel my frustration level rising, and rising, and rising all the while. I then died and was reborn, at which point I had enough and left to do something else. The game was just boing. At least the title screen was nice.
4. God's and Generals: I don't know why game developers base games on the civil war. The civil war was fought by two brave armies of clones wereing blue and grey, using such great tatics as standing in front of cannons, charging into flames, standing still and swinging their sword at enemies 20 feet away. Then the many weapons to choose from! A sword, a pistol, a musket and... a musket. Don't worry about the rifles being to overpowered! They only have one shot and cannot be reloaded. The trees all mesh together into inpassable walls and they often flicker when one walks past it. Well, that is what it was like in the civil war acccording to this game.
3. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing; This game claims to be a racing game were you drive to your cargo drop off point, before the other guy does or the police stops you. Nope. Instead we get a game were you have 5 tracks (one which will not work and quits the game) 4 trucks, and endless boundaries since the game has no physics. You can drive up a 90 degree cliff without so much as even slowing down. Your oppionet never moves. You can wait all day, he justs sits there, looking at the butterflies. Even going behind him and pushing him will cause you to pass right through it. Your not even stopped by solid buildings, you just past right through them, no trouble. Bridges, trees, nothing stands in your way. This does not even count as clipping issues since that would imply there is at least something solid in the game. You can litterally go off the map into nothingness and still not have anything happen. I would say that the turning is the sluggish I have ever seen, but since you will not be stopped, it does not matter. Doing the race normally is the borringest thing ever, and doing it in any order just makes the mind bogle about how this could be released. You can go past the speed of light in reverse but stop instantly as soon as you release the the key. The game literally does not fit in the defenition of a game, since no matter how much you do, you can still cross the finish line and see the "You're winner" congradulations trophy you will get. A game must have some form of challenge! You may be asking "how do you top a game that is completely broken and does not even a game be beaten?" You will see...
2. Plumers don't wear ties: This game was on the 3-DO, a system that "plugs into the future." Like many early cd based game systems like the Cd-i and the Sega-cd, tried to move units by advertising its ability to have full moving videos. This made for a lot of "interactive" movies where the player pushes a button at the certian time and you either pass or fail... blah blah blah. I only ever liked the Dragon Quest games from this genre, mostly because it was animated by Don Blooth, but this has to be the worst I have ever seen. First off, it starts out with some explonation on what to do by this lady, (with the camera man fucosing in on her clevage meanwhile), then the "game" starts. First thought that comes to mind, why are we only watching stills images? I thought it was some montrage of this guy dreaming... I think, because of all the random filtters. But it turns out, the whole game is nothing but images with the actors talking. Why can't you do video? You had it in the begining of the game. The guy then talks to his mother about getting married or something like that. Then we get this girl who is told the exsact same thing. We then watch them brush there teeth, shower, and get ready for the day. The nudity is censored by a pair of eyes and a nose... I have no clue why they choose that. There is a code to remove it but since there is more shots of his (bleep) then anything so raising the question why we would. They leave, meet, and finally we get to press buttons. You get two through three chooses to pick what to do, oh and a narrater that occasionally wears a chicken mask appears at this point. Anyway, you can choose how things will go, but you have to wait for the description of what is going to happen next. They some how found a way to comepletely break the controls on a game that is simplier then a menu screen. She goes up up to the boss to get a job and one of the chooses was tilted "something different" and led to where the guy was demanding her to take her clothes off. Choose the naughty path further, and the game berates you for it (switching narraters as it does), even though it had been fucosing on a woman's cleavage just before. A chase seen, in which it goes from a shirt on the girl to no shirt between photos. The plot goes into complete randomness, berates you for choosing some paths, blah blah, finally the whole mess is sorted out. Personally I have seen sock puppets that had gain more emotional conection then the actors from this, the game berates you for making chooses, even though this is suppose to be an "interactive" movie! It cannot even do the most basic things even Youtubers with pipe wrenches ebedded in there skulls can do.
1. Action 52: 52 games all on the cartirege. Sounds good dosen't? 52 games that range from platforming to light gun to arcade shooter. Dosen't this sound like the deal of a life time? In practice not one of those 52 is worth jack. This game was 200 when it was released, in 1991. Now a days that can buy an xbox for that amount for pete's sake. The game claimed it was 3 per game but it was more like paying 200 to a guy to tazer you 52 times. The games range from glitchy and boring to completely unplayble. Some of the flying games start with a wall 2 feet infront of you, others put you into an endless loop, some has an impassable point, some spawn you on an enemy, and some even won't work from the get go. Most of the games are just strange, like being a passifier in space, a pair of fingers that says time when it dies, or my favorite, a wizard guy (with only two frames of movement) jumping over green Elten John heads. I am dead serius. No one could of come up with these game without enough acid to melt a hole through the entire Earth. This has to be the biggest ripoff ever, period. Their is nothing you can point me to that cost this much that has no ability to serve any function what so ever. Move over ET, the space is needed for this pile of (bleep).
Fun things to do on the internet:
Visit FML/Fail blog: These site are all about mistakes and human idiocy. Fml is were people write about bad things that happened to them, and Failblog is a little more visual things, like writing SOTP instead of STOP or something like that. Be warned, FMLs can occasionally be quite depressing. Thank you Macekiwi for telling me about failblog!
Uncylopdia: If you thought wikipedia was flase information, wait to you see this site. Everything that goes against what a thing really is, is here! They have been fighting a war with wikipedia for years... JOIN THE FIGHT AND FINISH THE BATTLE!
Winter Bells: This is an independent flash game that is easily found as the first or second google search for winter bells. Basically your a bunny and are hoping bells falling from the sky. It does not sound very good but the presitation is what really pulls it off. The animations of the snow falling, the bells moving and the bunny hoppying are all so natrual you don't notice playing it. The music is really where it is at, with the best violin music ever to be put into a flash title. It imerses the player so well you might find your self playing for hours (I know I did).
Things that disgust me about the internet:
Enyclopdia Dramatica: It was voted best site by...somebody who I don't know, so I went to see it. What I saw will take years of thearopy to repress. How discusting the images were is unbelievable. Pictures of diseased parts of the human body that should already not be seen, stuff from inside the sewers, and some of the creepiest rule 34 stuff I have ever seen.
Anything Yaoi: Self explanitory.
Why there is people that make porn out of the stuff of are childhoods: Seriosly, who is into seeing nonhuman five year old girls, that is not even our own species, in verying states of undress? Even just the looking at five year olds in such a way is illegal in it self. When I went and looked up Animaniacs on Deveinet art, I saw some very distrubing images of Dot and Wakko that I won't soon forget. Please explain to me how any one finds that "sexy" and not "phyclologially disturbing." If you are into that stuff, not only should you feel disgusted about yourself but you should never put that online.
Gaming and villiany:
Now since the dawn of Pong, there has always been villians. From battens that could make impossible shots, to the more recent cake loving pscho robots, almost every game has to have them. However, even though gaming is now reaching across two generations, great video game villians have been few and far between. Sure their are some really great ones, but not nearly as many as other forms of media. Since most games are at least Ten hours long, a traight that was once reserved to books, and the audio and visual capabilities of film, time to develope the hearts of darkness and really be able to visualize them should be easy. However, the darkest of the dark for our little interactive media have consitanctly been as complex as a spoon, and half the depth. I think that one of the problems with this, and video games stories in general, is that developers spend more time in game time, and stories are the after thought. In most games, the story is just there to explain why a boy is running around with a transforming blob thing. Thus, time spent on villians is minumal at best. Another reason for the older frachies like Sonic and Mario, their villians were made at a time when technology did not allow for a story beyond, "The princess is in another castle," and their villians have not evolved. Both Bowser and Eggman are just the simple fire breathing Turtle/evil genuis douche that they always been. Their is hope however. Video games have finally tuned into the fact that interesting stories makes them better, and amount of good villians are on the rise.
Greatest video game villians:
5. Shodan: An inseperation for Gladdos, this is the orignal crazied computer. Sure, she helped you out, but that is only because you both have a mutual enemy. She controls the entire ship, and just wants to squash you. She taunts you constantly, just for the fact your human, and you know what? It really feels like a slap to the face at times. At times I just wanted to rip out all the ships wiring, with my bare hands just to make her quite. You come to hate her more then the "princess is in another castle" toad.
4. The Gman: Ok, he is never truely defined as a villian. Now this is a true malipulator. He is rarely seen out side of brief glimpes. He seams to be able to be anywhere and no where at the same time. For a good part of Half-life it is even a mystery if he is real. Nobody sees him but you, and he goes into complete dead ends. But at the end of the game and you get his "choise", it is clear that the guy is giving Freeman no freedom. The sequel only reinforces this feeling of creepiness and mystery. Is he the leader of the combine? There enemy? Is he he even human? How did he stop TIME? I have no clue, though that is most likely the point. He seams to be working for somebody higher, but also seams to have his own agenda. Also one of the few villians that can still be taken seriosly even after what the Gmod community has done to him.
3.Physco Mantis: This guy is just mind (bleeping) crazy. He knows your moves your controller, he knows your every move, and HE EVEN KNOWS WHAT GAMES YOU PLAY. Yep, he is forth wall aware and he likes to taunt you with it. This guy will make you wet yourself like almost nothing gaming has offered before. You have to switch controller port to beat the guy. Even though he only appeared in one game and a cameo in the sequel, he really has left a lasting eppertion like few bosses have.
2. GLaDDos: Do I really need to say anything here? She makes you laugh, she makes you cower, and she even makes you cry (PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME KILL MY CUBE! I will be so lonely without him...), name me one villian that has made you do that. She has some of the funniest lines ever in any media, and Portal would not be half the game that it is with her. You love her, you hate her, you fear her, and you laugh at her. GLaDDOS has it all.
1. Silent Hill: You heard me correct. I think the town is the greatest villian ever. A foggy beach resort that has a guy with geometry for a face. The games have seamed to inply that the town itself is your worst enemy. Not the monsters, not Pyramid, it is the town that is screwing with you for fun. The town seams to draw in near suicidial people on the promise that your wife, your daughter, your father, they all might be in the town, back from the dead. All the monsters are some symbol for the characters inner fears, dreads, or wishes, (Except in homecoming and opening, of course I don't consider those true sequels anyway). The town is only filled with some what off people that seam to be more like the monsters then the main character. Playing Silent hill 2 really feels like your totally alone in this horrible place that wants to toy with you till you take a bullet to your own skull.
Easy ways to make your stories better:
1. Spell/grammer check: This should be a no brainer, just press spell check, and you have fixed 80 of the grammatical errors. I am not saying that a story needs to something you could turn into as a collage final, what I am saying is that no story should look like a text message.
2. Spilt paragraphs please: I have found my self clicking on many stories, just to find a gaint block of text appear. It is next to immpossible to read. No fanfiction story should have paragraphs more then six sentences. If you need to make a longer paragraph, please double space.
3. Not every story has to be a sappy romance story: God, this is a real problem. 12 out 13 stories on this site are rommance novels. I know everyone likes certian couples, and some love others but really, do you need to express that in every story you write. Branch out, please. Write a comody, a drama, something! All these rommance novels are almost always doing the same thing that a billion others that have already done before. Then we get into shipping wars, with the she loves him, I don't care what the series says, he really loves her. Look at the fangirls in Sonic Truth and Dare, they have fought over who loves who for months, many have died, others have gone into depression and saddness. The slaughter is every where. Please, only you can stop the death of fangirls.
4. Avoid the use of OCs like the Plague: Now I don't have anything against well written OCs that bring meaning to the character, such as in the Animaniacs story "Family", which has a cast of orginal characters that explain alot about the Warner brothers orgins. And what would Sonic Truth and dare be with out Jill. Here is the thing, they are one, not perfect, two, well written, three, not based on the person who wrote them. I know the old saying, "write what you know," but most people that base on them selfs make there characters perftect in everyway that instantly causes the instant love of the character of the writers wish. If you have to write in an OC, please base it on someone you know, but never base it on your self, EVER! This site has enough Mary Sues as it is. Also, please come up with orginal name, don't implant a name onto it coughwakkoryancough.
5. Stick to a tone please: I have seen so many comedies break down into depressing stories that scare me away. I also seen so many serios stories break up and go into loony land of utter redioculous. Stay with what you started with. Take one parody Animanics story (who's name escapes me for the moment) started out parodying the Mary Sue rediculosness that is fanfiction. However, near the end where Dot almost got raped by a obbessed pervert fanboy. If I wanted to depressed, I would a put an angst filter on my stories, not parody.
6. Pointing out your summery is horrid or saying it is better then it sounds: Please don't insult the readers intellegence with theses. If they want to read it, they should be the judge of if they wanted to read it or not, not you. Also, we can tell that your summery, you don't need to point it out.
7. Listen to your reviewers: I'm not saying you must delete every time some one says "This story suck, it must be deleted!" No, I am talking about spelling sudgestions, people pointing out mistakes or what they want to happen. The more you please, the more you get.
8. Never try to add any form of plot in a Truth or Dare fic, of any kind: These just go astray, you focus more time on the plot then peoples dares, it is pure insanity. Espiscally if it involves romance and/or other authors. It will come back to haunt you. Forever. Trying to unwind the amount tangled plot lines, broken hearts, and akwardness is such a pain. It will leave everyone involed confused, heart broken and smashing there heads against a wall. Take this lesson, and you won't have to go to the pain and suffering I had to go through.
Sadness and our childhoods.
I have noticed that a lot of our childhood films, shows, and stories are filled with depression. Think about it. How many fairy tales end with a character being eaten? How about all the kids movies that almost kill off, or kill a beloved character? Go and ask your parents how many time you cried watching a movie with them, you will be surpised how often. I always wondered why film makers do this. As we get older the amount of movies made for our age group that have seens that try to make you cry drops like a hunk of lead. Then why do you push so much depression onto the most innocent of minds? I came up with a theory why. They are trying to show us that death and sadness our just part of life. We need to learn to deal with it in the fantasy world before we can deal with it in the real world. However, companies are wimping out of doing this now adays, with death being basically a taboo in things aimed at children, which will result in an emotionally dead generation that was hidden from sadness and heart break till it is to late.
Saddest moments in animantion:
5. The Death of Optimus Prime in the animated Transfomers movie: Ok, this movie has a lot of depression causing moments, from the brutal murder of many beloved characters, to the fact that leanding his voice to this movie was the last thing Orsen Wells ever did in his life. But this moment really takes the cake. He has a final battle with his arch enemy, Megatron, and gets moratally wounded (how a robot gets mortally woundedis beyond me). He sends the last minutes of his life giving off a speach and handing the leadership of the Autobots to the next in line. The color draining from him, the fact he is on a medical bed, this really scared the fans of transformers horribly. What is even sadder is WHY they killed him. They wanted to sell more toys of a new team of Transformers, so they killed off most of the old ones. Boy did Marvel regret doing that.
4. The Little Match Girl: Ok, I might be cheating with this one, for reasons that we will get to, but this is little Disney short was both heart warming and heart breaking. It is about a little girl that is trying to sell matches in the frozen winters of Russia. She uses the matches in a desperate attempt to keep warm and sees visions of a better life, with food, a christmas tree, and the last memories she has of her grandma With the only sound being the beutiful violin music, all the reactions are just from the way the girl moves. The ending some how makes you cry tears of joy and tears of sorrow. If you want something to watch during the holidays, the eight minutes of watching this on Youtube is a great pick.
3. The Death of little foots Mother in the Land Before time: Don Blooth was never known for his happiness in his films. From what I understand he beilieves that children can handle just about anything just as long as you attach a happy ending to it. This even pushes that notion to the extreme. Little foots mother basically scarifices her self to save him. When she is dieing she tells him to hold hope and to go on to the great valley. The fact it is raining and she can only lift her neck up to look at her son really imprints this seen onto the memories of all that watch it.
2. Dot's "Death" from Wakko's Wish: I got to admit, I did not really like this movie. It was ok, but they went from the funny and silly style of Animaniacs and turned it to a musical without much comedy (without the hands of the great Richard Stone behind that music mind you). But this seen is possible the most emotional moment ever put into Animaniacs. After getting so close to curing their sister with the wishing star, the king fires a cannon that blows up right in the middle of the Warner brothers. Dot, it seams, got the most of the blast. She is dieing, on the ground with all the characters in shock. Yakko is holding her in his hands, trying to convince her she will be all right. Dot knows she is going to die, and all she wants to hear is the story of her birth one last time, which she says when Yakko does not. After she finishes the last word she dies, in Yakko's arms, with the snow lightly falling. I don't know if to congradulate them on framing the moment so well, or berate for all the therapy I will need. She was the cute one! The cutest thing in the world. We have loved her so much in the series! How could you do this to us! Of course it turns out she was fine, and she was just buying time for Wakko, but come on! No matter how many times I see this sence, no matter how much I know she is all right and she will get up in a minute or so, even after decade I still will shead a tear at this.
1. Every single god (bleep) Disney movie ever made: What is wrong with company? I have heard that Walt suffered depression and all, but really, why do his company make so much Depression? Happiest place on Earth? Happy as seeing your father dead! Think of one company that has more crying then disney in their films? No one on the face of the Earth. From Alice wanting to go home, to Sleepying beauty thought to be asleep forever, to the death of Sibio's father, to the mother load of them all, Bambi's mom. This is so infamous, that the man who shot her got 20th place on AFI's 100 movies... heroes and villians spot. The guy was not seen, did not have one word of diolage but still was rated higher then Dracula, the Terminator, and even the JOKER. You must have to emtionally scare alot of people to get that to happen. If there is one company to blaim for emo culture, it is Disney.
Horror and Gaming:
Video games possible have the greatest possible scare chance of any medium. Books have the problem of forcing the reader to be in at least a somewhat lit room and have to describe situations, rather then just show them. Films can show fear and can be watched in the dark, but the movie can't make you feel fear for your own safety, but for the characters. Video games on the other hand can be completely interacted with and can make you be chased by the scycopath THAT IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU! Haha, sorry... but games really make you the one being chased, you the one being the one that is being chopped to bits. Sure, only 3D games can really scare (not many sprites are that scary) and many have consitantly failed to figure out the YOU part of immersion and forced the player to control a mass of polygons that is not very interesting. Also bad control, movie cliches, and bad diologe will often hamper down the experience (Resident Evil, I am looking at you) but horror has been achivied in this medium better then any others in my opinion.
Scariest games ever:
5. Eternal Darkness: Sure, you have a god's of the dead, zombies, and ultimate evil, but that did not scare us in Casltvania, why should it here? What the games does differently is the sanity meteor. What this does is slowly drain over time, falling sharply when attacked, slowly disorting reality. The screen gets a black, angles get wierd, and things start talking that should not. When it gets completely empty, things really start to get creepy. Your head can fall off and start spouting Hamlet, you go into a room but lose control of your character, watching her get eaten alive, so on. The game even breaks the forth wall when doing this, shutting off the screen, giving you a blue screen of death, and TELLING YOU YOUR MEMORY CARD IS DEFECTIVE. Tell any gamer that and he will freak.
4. System Shock 2: Ok, the whole plot is a bit cliche by now... ok it is the single biggest cliche in science fiction now, but this was one of the first to apply it to an interactive medium. Half the time you don't know what the heck is going on, the other half you are being taunted by Shodan, but it puts you in the correct confused and desperate mood to really frighten you. Your enemies are so much more powerful then you, Shodan ambushes you at points from out of know where, and all your equipment need to be mantained. Thats right, if you don't keep your gun polished, that one bullet to kill that killer robot that is going to eat you? Sorry, but it is staying in that gun, have a nice time in his stomach.
3. F.E.A.R.: Sure, little girls have been a horror cliche for some time now, but this game really nailed it. Almo really likes to mess with your head, confusing what is real, and what is her nightmare. She pops in the shadow, when you climb down the stairs, and just at any point when your not mindlessly killing her very intellgent minions. The whole, "I'm a super soldier that can stop time," kind of demisshes the whole horror aspect, but you will be scared none the less.
2. Condemed: Made by the same people as F.E.A.R., it has a simlar tone to the horror, but a different if that makes any sense. While F.E.A.R. had super natrual and science fiction elements, Condemed really felt like it could easily happen (until the sequel anyways). Instead of Super weapons, you have rusty pipes. Instead of super soilders, you have crazy hobos. Instead of a little girl, you have a physcopath that is somewhere in the city, hunting you and anybody that has any sanity. You really feel like you are exchanging blows with the people you fight, only increasing the mood.
1. Silent Hill 2: Sense I already gushed over this game twice now, I will not give you much to slog through. The atmosphere it is so thick that it feels like a whale is sitting on you. Nothing seams truelly human. The town, story, and monsters really have deeper and creepier then almost any in any medium. It will make you crap your pants just when your walking down the street. Play this if you want to know what fear really is.
Time for copy and paste stuff!
95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Wolf Pyralis, Rabid Rabbit's Rampage, BloodySalvation, Sonicalia, metal.lamp-silvertongue, Kaity the Chameleon, Trauts, SpinalTapSoundGuy, Not G. Ivingname.
If you think you are trying to fit in by putting your name on this list, go back to school because your missing the point.
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
That same 98 would probably turn suicidal if Myspace was down for 48 hours. If you're part of the 2 that would laugh their asses off at their pain, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.
Disney controls 95 percent of teens through it's television, if your the 5 that thinks that they were better when Walt was in control, copy and paste this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved onto rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has no clue what the heck they are singing about, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think the kids should let the bunny have the fricking cereal, copy and paste this into your profile.
Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help it achieve world domination. Fear the cuteness.
If you want to join the dark side for the cookies, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had an urge to throw yourself off of a banister on a stairway, copy this in to your profile.
If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy this onto your profile.
If you ever had your heart broken, take these tissues and copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever ran into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're the type that can't STAND popular culture (especially the music and "hot fashions") besides video games, copy this to your profile.
If you think the 90's shows were the best, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think all TV sucks now, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you believe every child deserves a chance to grow up and go to school, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wrote a dare for Sonic Truth or Dare, copy and paste it onto your profile.
If you have ever written over twenty dares for Sonic Truth or Dare, copy paste it onto your profile.
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever created a copy and paste, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you ever randomly hum old theme songs to childhood shows, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you cant sepll for spit, coy and paset thus into your porfile.
If you have no clue what twitter is, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you could not careless, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.
If Mary Sues make you sick, copy and paste this onto your profile.
And for Animaniacs fans:
Have you ever spent more time memorizing Yakko's World than doing your homework, copy and paste this on your profile.
Dumb product warnings
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(What about a spork?)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(Your telling me there is fake artificial bacon bits? What has those?)
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
Number your 12 favorite Animaniacs characters (In no order) and answer the questions!!
8. The Mime
10. Chiken Boo
12. Hello Nurse
1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Old squirrel… UHHH…
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
The world would end.
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?
Yes. Written one.
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Dot and the giant chicken… NO! Don’t give any ideas to the fan artists.
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
…Is there a third opition?
Though Five/Nine must have been don-
NO! BAD THOUGHTS!
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
A few years from now it would have been a boner.
8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.
… I could swear there was an episode on this…
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
“Though the eyes of the Nurse trying to explain what she was doing with the cat to a kid squirrel.”
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One
Why would Slappy want to do Yakko’s gardening?
12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
AHHH!!! MY EYES! IT HURTS TO THINK ABOUT THAT!
13) Does anyone on your friends list write Eleven?
14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?
AHHH!!! MY EYES! IT HURTS TO THINK ABOUT THAT!
15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?
16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
“Baby Don’t Hurt Me.”
17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
DON’T READ THIS!
18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?
They know each other?
20) How emo is Seven?
As unemo as physically possible.
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