Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, A song of Ice and Fire, and Sherlock.
Hey my name is Cheeky Liar, not really, and I love animals and swimming. If I do write things that aren't one shots i'll try to update offten cause i hate when you're really into a story but then there are no more chpters and like two years later a chapter come out and you don't care anymore. So if I did that i wold hate myself and i don't want to hate myself. If you're someone who does that i don't hate you cause it not nice to hate people,unless they desserve it, then it's fine
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
Her name was Auroura
She was only five
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If your against child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
95 of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 who brought popcorn and invited friends.
95 percent of the teenage population would go into panic if Miley Cyrus was standing off a ledge of a 10 story building. Put this on your profile if you would be the 5 percent standing there with a megaphone screaming Jump You Dumb Bitch Jump!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that asshole upside the head
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
THE MORSE CODE:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
My friends are the type of people who will spend hours trying to drown a fish.
Sarcasm is like my 2nd language.
I'm diabolically gifted. (AKA, EVIL!!)
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something shiny
Don't follow in my foot steps, I run into things and trip on air!
You may laugh at me cause I trip over flat surfaces and air, but that takes skill to do
War doesn't determine who's right, war determines who's left.
Computers can beat you at chess, but they're no match for you at kick boxing.
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
Bad pick-up Line Come-backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Did you know...
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you enjoy watching people in pain, copy and paste this to your profile
You can't spell slaughter; without laughter, so, if your like me and would laugh if you killed some one cause your enjoying every second of it, copy and paste this to your profile
I dont suffer from insanity, I'm enjoying ever second of it
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hate homework, join the club and copy and paste this into your profile.
1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)
You laugh at me because I'm a retard, I laugh cause you just figured it out.
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.
Friend: Will help me learn to drive.
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away.
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down.
Friend: Will bail me out of jail.
Friend: Will go to a concert with me.
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs.".
Friend: Asks me for my number.
Friend: Hides me from the cops.
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
black man walked into a Dinner and sat down in the seat behind a white man,
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK,
When I grew up I was BLACK,
When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
When I'm cold I'm BLACK,
When I die I'll be BLACK.
But you sir,
When you're born you're PINK,
When you grow up you're WHITE,
When you're sick, you're GREEN,
When you go in the sun you turn RED,
When you're cold you turn BLUE,
And when you die you turn PURPLE.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.
15 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
EVER WONDER where we are heading...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
Why women can't put on mascara
Why you don't ever see the headline:
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
Why the man who invests all your money is called a
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
If con is the opposite of pro,
Why they call the airport "the terminal"
If this doesn't touch you; you're heartless. This is so sad! One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies.The girl asked the guy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously the girl survived.Remembering the note,she pulled it out & read it, it said,"Without your love, I would die". :( :( :( :( :( :( Thats ironic I'm sorry. Irony, your mean!
I Intend to live forever...so far so good!
"I'm not going to cheat on the test tomorrow, I'm simply going to study during it."
Some may say the glass is half empty, some may say the glass is half full, but then I will forever say..."Are you going to drink that?"
Can't murder now...eating
You're just like a penny... Two-Faced and Worthless
I don’t see the future in suicide.
If Barbie is so popular... then why do you have to buy her friends?
Studying. Notice how they conveniently put "DYING"at the end of this word.
Life? cool. Where can I download one?
Some day i'll take over the world but for now I'll make a sandwich...
If Abercrombie decided that breathing wasn't 'cool' then 2/3 of the teen population would suffocate in 24 hours.
I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before
If a kids asks"why is it raining?" I think it is cute to tell them "god is crying." If the child asks "why is god crying?" I also think it is cute to tell them "most likely because of something you did"
Apparently, my teachers are having a contest to see who could give out the most homework!!"
Once a boy asked his dad "is God a boy or a girl?" his dad said both... then he asked "is God black or white?" his dad said both... then he asked "is God Michael Jackson?"
"If you were on a deserted island and could have any item you wanted, what would you want?... for those of you who didn't say a cruise ship or a plane... I don't think I'll be talking to you any time soon... for the rest of you, feel free to leave a message"
Today I saw "Famous Last Words.." in a book today, and my Mom had to ask if I was okay...(In which I replied, I'm Okay, I promise...)
There were 3 girls
They were looking through peoples
The girl slowly came upon this one
It had creatures in the background and the man
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living heck out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
She goes and knocks but no one said
she opens it and finds her friend there on
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not repost this in the next two
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
COPY AND PASTE!
Try not to cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Try Not to Cry
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
A True Boyfriend =
When she walks away from you mad
When she stare's at your mouth
When she pushes you or hit's you
When she start's cussing at you
When she's quiet
When she ignore's you
When she pull's away
When you see her at her worst
When you see her start crying
When you see her walking
When she's scared
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
When she steal's your favorite hat
When she tease's you
When she doesnt answer for a long time
When she look's at you with doubt
When she say's that she like's you
When she grab's at your hands
When she bump's into you
When she tell's you a secret
When she looks at you in your eyes
When she misses you
When you break her heart
When she says its over
When she repost this bulletin
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
PLEASE READ. If this doesnt touch you... ,( meanie heartless person!
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for
the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that
mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister
is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage