Witchy Pixie
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Joined 06-02-09, id: 1955857, Profile Updated: 05-16-13
Author has written 14 stories for Harry Potter, and Inheritance Cycle.

Hello, world.

I write stuff for the internet.

Bio: I'm a wannabe flowerchild who likes to read, write, procrastinate, dye my hair strange colors, and make dirty jokes.

I love Bob Dylan, Green Day, Yellowcard, any well-written fiction, mercilessly mocking religion, practicing yoga, having Green Day lyric battles with John, and starbucks.

I hate camping, sauerkraut, "Fragment, consider revising" on Word, and movies like Marley and Me.

Updates:

Junior year OM NOM NOMED my life. The SAT then desecrated its bones. That's why I disappeared off the face of the earth. I'm currently trying to climb back on, but I'm not sure how long that'll take.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

You all know the capital of Alagaesia? Where Galbozo lives? OK, so it's spelled "Uru'baen". U-R-U'B-A-E-N. Not hard at all. And any variant where "Baen" is spelled "Bean" should warrant you a life sentence there.

Rant over.

Public Service Announcement II

Murtagh's eyes are gray. Kthnxbai.

"To everything, turn! turn! turn! There is a season, turn! turn! turn! and a time for every purpose under heaven."

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Sons of War by TheLastRider reviews
When Eragon and Saphira disappear in the middle of a battle, Murtagh and Thorn alone discover their prisons. Unwilling to tell the Varden, but still slaves, they must keep this secret from Galbatorix while hunting for a way to be freed. Murtagh's only two legged companion, a half mad elf given to him as a reward, tries to help- but can the sons of war be freed? Bk 4
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 66 - Words: 143,246 - Reviews: 775 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 1/21 - Published: 9/25/2010 - Eragon S., Murtagh, King Galbatorix
No Secrets Between Us by Mirime ceea reviews
Faramir loves Eowyn, but wants to know why she seems scared of his touch. When he finally learns the truth, how can he prove he still loves her?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 86,711 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 10/26/2013 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Faramir, Eowyn - Complete
Return to Fanfiction by The One Called Demetra reviews
Aline is once again pulled into the uncreatively titled world of fanfic as civil war breaks out. Will Nikki overcome administrative frustrations? Will her kid sister Jenna ever become a mighty evil overlord? Will D escape telling her origin story? Will Aline ever figure out what's going on? Of course not. Don't be silly.
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,104 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 7/30/2013 - Published: 2/14/2010
40 of the Best and Worst Harry Potter PickUp Lines by magic.is.out.there reviews
Exactly what the title says - read how different characters from different eras hit on each other using these pick-up lines! Will it lead to love or a slap across the face?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 20,104 - Reviews: 539 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 7/26/2013 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Harry P., Marauders
Blank Propaganda by SquirrelISDead0304 reviews
When war is no longer good enough to abuse ones enemies, there's nothing like a little propaganda to spice things up. The result of whim and sheer boredom: a collection of random short stories guranteed to make the Varden and Empire hate each other further. There will be stories from every character's POV, Galby especially.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,410 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/28/2013 - Published: 7/11/2012 - King Galbatorix - Complete
The Herbalist by Massa reviews
Angela's past has been hidden from all until she decided to reveal all in her autobiography. Nothing more needs to be said, does it?
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 53,979 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Angela
In the Arms of Our Mothers by congratsyou'vegrownasoul reviews
An exploration, in mirror format, of Nasuada and Murtagh's relationships with their mothers, and with their own daughter.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,623 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/30/2012 - Murtagh, Nasuada - Complete
Into Our Horizon by Florencia7 reviews
A Sparrabeth series of drabbles & short one-shots focusing on Jack & Elizabeth as parents. Post-HWMB? Jack/Elizabeth and Blaxton with occasional guest appearances of Teague, Pintel, Ragetti, and others.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 60 - Words: 26,419 - Reviews: 461 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 12/28/2012 - Published: 11/1/2009 - [Elizabeth S., Capt. Jack Sparrow] OC - Complete
Shackled By Blood by purplehairedwonder reviews
After the battle at Gil'ead, Murtagh and Thorn struggle with Galbatorix's power over them. But when Roran is captured by the Empire, Murtagh and Thorn must decide once and for all where their loyalties lie.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 80,940 - Reviews: 337 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 8/24/2012 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Murtagh, Roran
Lord Barst at Walmart by Tayylore reviews
The title is self explanatory. Lord Barst goes to Walmart in search of a dragon egg and meets others during the trip. Walmart has everything, you know. Beware.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,536 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Lord Barst, Eragon S. - Complete
The Adventures of RoranHulk and Pals! by Roran the Hulk reviews
The harrowing retelling of an epic onslaught against tyranny and common sense! Tears, blood, and willing suspension of disbelief will be shed as Roran-Hulk's use of his incredible muskles with a K has unforeseen consequences for the wildlife of Alagaësia!
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,608 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/7/2012 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Roran, Eragon S.
The Midnight Masque by Blufinger reviews
Entangled in a dark curse, Arya is trapped behind the crimson banners of the Empire - but who is the real Emperor? During the eternal midnight, she hears music: of love, treachery and delusion as Eragon turns war to bloodthirsty carnage to 'save' her. MxA
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 104,705 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/5/2012 - Published: 6/2/2011 - Murtagh, Arya
Rope Unraveled by Kelsey Pearl reviews
If she is a blade, I am her rag. Blades cannot lie, and neither can the elves that wield them. One-sided Arya/Nasuada. Slight sexual content.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 763 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Arya, Nasuada - Complete
Another bunch of things I can't do in Algaesia by Ministryofchaos reviews
Title says it all. A newcomers guide on the dos and don'ts of Algaesia. Follow these rules for a happy and long life in the world of elves,dragons and stumpy garden gnomes! Sorry, dwarves.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,249 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2012
25 Ways To Aggravate & Infuriate Durza The Shade by yrantho reviews
A simple and hopefully amusing compendium of the 25 best ways to incur the wrath of Durza the Shade. Please do not try these at home!
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 922 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/30/2012 - Published: 1/13/2012 - Durza - Complete
Always the Doctor by SlightlyFrumiousBandersnatch reviews
"But he's always the Doctor, the man in the box / With the interesting hair and unusual togs..." 11 Doctors in 40 lines of rhyming anapestic tetrameter.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Published: 1/10/2012 - 10th Doctor, 11th Doctor - Complete
Older by that tanned idiot reviews
Murtagh lives with Thorn in the elves' forest from Eragon's insistence. In between the countless branches and seasons he begins to find aspects around and inside of himself he's been previously blind to. - A large story told in bits with eventual MxOC
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 30,353 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 12/17/2011 - Published: 12/20/2010 - Murtagh
Profitable Affairs by linalove reviews
His one and only purpose was to find the key to immortality; no matter the cost.He never knew that a plain young woman like her could make him feel alive again;he never knew she could mend his betrayed heart. Jack/OC. Editing in progress...
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 142,595 - Reviews: 1317 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 12/14/2011 - Published: 8/7/2010 - Capt. Jack Sparrow
Bright Colors and Pointy Objects by definatleynotafelineorcephalod reviews
A collection of drabbles and oneshots taking place in the Inheritence Universe. #9: Murtagh's Law- anything that can go wrong, will go wrong... Murtagh and Thorn, Post Inheritance.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,968 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 9/14/2011 - Murtagh, Thorn
20 Things to do in Alagaesia by Liraeyn reviews
So, you end up in Alagaesia, and you're bored. What do you do? Here are MORE ideas!
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/29/2011 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
Revenge by midsummernight94 reviews
Elva finds a chance to get revenge against the people who caused her suffering. And she plans to use it. Rated T.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,450 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/9/2011 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Elva - Complete
Hunting We Shall Go by Josatex reviews
Who let that Mary-Sue into Alagaesia? Tameera's got to find out before Alagaesia comes to a pleasant and sugary end. She's also got to track down and obliterate the Sue in question. It started as a oneshot, but mutated horribly. T only for language.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,238 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 5/23/2011
If Bella Were Sane by The One Called Demetra reviews
The events of Twilight, had Bella been the only sane woman in the Twilight universe. Diarystyle. T because normal teenagers don't say 'Holy crow' when they swear.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,675 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Limbo Time! by Josatex reviews
Where do you think characters go between books? The Limbo Zone! In which Eragon is oblivious, Saphira should wash her mouth out with soap, Solembum has manic depression, Brom has a fixation with the word 'bloody' and Murtagh hates being called 'Murty'.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,258 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/3/2011 - Eragon S., Elva - Complete
Eragon the Apple King by The Winter Wizard reviews
Eragon embarks on a dangerous quest to retrieve his sacred apple. AU, OOC, A parody on Eragon's ever-changing vegan views. No offence is at all intended. Pure crack!fic.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,853 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/13/2011 - Eragon S. - Complete
The Black Gates by Evanescence2189 reviews
Dras-Leona—a bleak city of carnage and ruin, and the home of an even more sacrilegious people. A pity it is that such a treasure fell right into the center of it, where curious hands could reach. Murtagh/OC
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,719 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Murtagh
The Typical Life of an OC by A Tragic Galaxy reviews
Every learned female OC knows the rules of Inheritance Cycle fanfiction. You obtain a special power, con everyone into believing you're on their side, save the world, and marry your favorite character. Sadly, I seemed to botch everything from rule one.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 853 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/6/2011 - Complete
Christopher's Quest by Elf Knight reviews
As a punishment for taking so long with Book IV, Christopher Paolini is sent to the Varden, where he must use his Author Powers to help save the day. But can he? - Post Brisingr
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,470 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/4/2011 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Eragon S., Arya
The Ten Commandments of Eragon Shadeslayer by The Winter Wizard reviews
These are the Ten Commandments of Eragon Shadeslayer as dictated by his dragon Saphira. She would have writen more, but, well, never mind. Let's just say that Saphira loves reviews and would be more than happy to get some for this one-shot. *hint,hint*
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Saphira, Eragon S. - Complete
To the Edge and Beyond by BlueNoise reviews
They were never meant to be and sometimes it is better to just let go. Sometimes it isn't. Eragon x Arya.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,496 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/13/2011 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Arya, Eragon S. - Complete
The In Between Times by Evanescence2189 reviews
They've been crowned Kings and Queens as Narnia enters a time of peace, a Golden Age. Although, trouble is never far away. What new dangers lurk about the North and South of Narnia? Sequel to Rising Above.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 27,088 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/9/2011 - Published: 6/30/2011 - Peter Pevensie - Complete
My dear friend by sassymag42 reviews
Galbotorix's point of view. A letter to his late dragon.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 601 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/6/2011 - King Galbatorix - Complete
Purple by definatleynotafelineorcephalod reviews
Sets of 25 one-sentence themes detailing the relationships and parallels between Morzan and Brom, as well as those of their sons.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,788 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 7/30/2011 - Eragon S., Morzan - Complete
The Palancar Tinies by definatleynotafelineorcephalod reviews
The Inheritance version of the poem "Gashlycrumb Tinies" By Edward Gorey. "A is for Angela, assaulted by toads..."
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 403 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Complete
Of Witches and Werecats by Questioning.Silence reviews
Hopefully humorous one-shot in which Angela embarrasses Eragon and Solembum makes an appearance to give some unsought for advice.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 729 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/9/2011 - Angela, Eragon S. - Complete
A Dragon Tamer May Work With Dragons by C.Rara reviews
Minerva had been truly delusional in thinking she could possibly keep her sanity intact on her birthday. It's a wonder she hadn't been committed to Mungo's by breakfast. In fact with the Twins, Snape and that bloody Toad she'll be eating dinner in Azkaban
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,011 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 10/25/2010 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Rain by FangIsFexcellent reviews
You have destroyed me, Eragon Shur'tugal.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,735 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/18/2011 - Eragon S., Arya - Complete
Utter Chaos by Evanescence2189 reviews
I've never been known for my culinary genius, so I was less than prepared for an endeavor of this magnitude. Needless to say, I will be banned from the kitchen…forever. Set during "The In Between Times"
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,482 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Peter Pevensie - Complete
Confrontations by Restrained.Freedom reviews
Oneshot. This is a roleplay story that turned out interesting enough that I decided to post it as my first story. I do have the permission of my friend Winter to post it. But I do not have permission from C.P. May add chapter with other characters.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,872 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Murtagh, Nasuada
Child's Games by AnonymousAndUnoriginal reviews
I love him, I love him not. In the forest of Ellesmera, Arya ponders Eragon, Faolin and life after Gil'ead. Oneshot.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 478 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/12/2011 - Arya - Complete
How Galbatorix Stole Christmas by Scylla's revenge reviews
Everyone in Alagaesia loves Christmas, except Galbatorix, who decides to do something about it once and for all. Please enjoy, I really had fun writing this. But beware, it's kind of stupid.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,558 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/18/2010 - King Galbatorix, Murtagh - Complete
Truth or Dare? by MingoGirl reviews
The war with the Empire is over! A party is in order. Ale will be provided. WARNING: DRUNK DRAGONS WILL BE PRESENT! Complete! The sequel is up. It is called Afterward.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,377 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 11/29/2010 - Published: 11/7/2010 - Complete
How 2 B a ttly awsum fanfikshun riter by The One Called Demetra reviews
In which Demetra instructs the world in the mystical way of the fanfic. Parody
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,147 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Complete
Letters to Mendanbar by TeenTypist reviews
Cimorene writes to Mendanbar, letters she only half expects him to ever read. Glimpses into the world Daystar grows up in, and Cimorene's feelings during the sixteen year interlude between Calling on Dragons and Talking to Dragons.
Enchanted Forest - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/15/2010
A Freed Mind by Enhas reviews
A nameless person's account of the reality and truth of the Matrix, and the questions he asked those who freed him. Very AU.
Matrix - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,932 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/8/2010 - Morpheus, Neo - Complete
The Pirates Go to Walmart! by poeismyhero reviews
With a title like that, I'm pretty sure you don't need a summary, mate.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,310 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/24/2010 - Published: 8/10/2010
Killed with a Kiss by FallIntoTheGrey reviews
After Jack is rescued from the Locker, Elizabeth is still tormented by guilt. But Jack feels no sympathy for her as he searches for the right punishment for her. Did the Locker turn Jack's heart black or is the man he was still there under the darkness?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,776 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
From Mirkwood to Moria by That Tath reviews
A glimpse into the start of the friendship between Legolas and Gimli. Double-drabble.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/12/2010 - Gimli, Legolas - Complete
A Thirst For Life by Ultrawoman reviews
100 Word Drabble. A continuation of the flashforward scene at the end of PotC 3 : At Worlds End. The child at Elizabeth's side may not be quite who you thought...
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 15 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Elizabeth S. - Complete
32 Short Tales About Alagaesia by JoeMerl reviews
Angry gods. Weird shippings. Idiotic Ra'zac. Shades eating cheezeburgers. Come on, what more could you possibly want in an "Inheritance" fic? I mean, you know...besides character development or a plot? Chapter 28: "Screw You, Elves!"
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 38,357 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 6/17/2010 - Published: 1/17/2007 - Eragon S., Arya
Yearn by Wraithlike reviews
Absolute drabble. I wrote it in a particularly quiet and gentle mood, pondering love and perception. Kim's children were beautiful. But it wasn't the right kind of beauty. It wasn't the beauty she desired. It was wrong.
Edward Scissorhands - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 261 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/20/2010 - Complete
Bothering Alagaesia by Emerald Tiara reviews
Saturnina and Michelle go to Alagaesia and annoy the crap out of everyone... when two girls from 2006 meet two guys from Alagaesia, you know some crazy stuff is gonna happen.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 43 - Words: 57,985 - Reviews: 772 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 3/11/2006
I'm Not Crazy by five letter word reviews
We do not understand what we have not experienced. In OOTP.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 275 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Alice L., Neville L. - Complete
You Had To Ask by Jennifer Lynn Weston reviews
Humorous short. Written for the prompt 'Pun'; recommended only for those with high tolerance for nerdy word-play.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Will T., Capt. Jack Sparrow
The Twisted Diaries of an Azkaban Escapee by TheSolitaryNoodle reviews
Bellatrix Lestrange's diary, from her trial onwards. Very funny, I hope with lots of Random Twists... starring, of course, Bella, but you'll see some other familiar faces there to - Sirius, Fudge, Narcissa, Rodolphus, etc. Rated 'T' for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 43,598 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 12/5/2009 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Bellatrix L., Sirius B.
A Battle of Wills, And Other Things by TheSolitaryNoodle reviews
Bellatrix Lestrange, Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy are competing to see who can become Lord Voldemort's Most Faithful Servant. Appearances from Draco, Voldy, Narcissa, Wormtail, Rodolphus and other random Death Eaters. Humor. During DH, so spoilers ther
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,933 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 12/5/2009 - Published: 5/11/2008 - Bellatrix L., Severus S.
Colds and Birthday Blues by multithreading reviews
To Legolas' amusement, Aragorn falls ill. However, once he recovers, he's determined to seek revenge. Fortunately heirs of Isildur are quite competent at that task.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
A Very Foul Mouthed Recap by The Recapper of Badassery reviews
A recap of the first Jurassic Park movie. Is it accurate? BARELY. Is it fun? I HOPE SO. Is it safe-for-work? NOT UNLESS YOU'RE A SAILOR. Will it kill about an hour of your time? PROBABLY. Do you have that kind of time to waste? YES.
Jurassic Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,278 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Complete
Ask Elrond by labradorite reviews
Ask Lord Elrond any and all of your most personal questions! Go on, it’s easy! Just slip your anonymous letter in the box stationed outside of his office and expect a reply within the week. NO tampering with letters. That means YOU, Elladan and Elrohir!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 75,853 - Reviews: 889 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Elrond - Complete
Welcome to Fanfiction by The One Called Demetra reviews
Aline just wanted to write a fanfic. She didn't ask to be thrown into a world of shippers, fangirls, chronically honest reviewers, homicidal canons and general lunacy, and yet, somehow, she was. This is her, trying to cope, and failing. MEGACROSSOVER!
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,189 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/14/2009 - Complete
Lord Voldemort and the Purple Roadmonkeys by Professor Cassandra reviews
Maintaining a dark and evil reputation is undoubtedly stressful, so once per year the Dark Lord and his followers take a much needed holiday. This year he has decided to form a biker gang most deadly, and only one name will suffice: The Purple Roadmonkeys
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,977 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/14/2009 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Voldemort, Bellatrix L.
The Five Rules for Being a Successful Bartender by LaneWinree51 reviews
The Marauders walk into a bar and engage in a competition to get the address of a pretty bartender.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,400 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Remus L. - Complete
Deception by zeurin reviews
Nasuada and Murtagh have always been forced to hate each other. Now they do. But what happens when they meet again, under horrid conditions? Will their hate last?
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,658 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Murtagh, Nasuada
The Insane Adventures of Wormtail and Babymort by Professor Cassandra reviews
A series of one-shots about Wormtail and the Dark Lord, still in his grotesque baby form. Turns out they had some pretty insane adventures before that fateful night in the graveyard! OOC behavior...no, really.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/9/2009 - Published: 5/11/2009 - Voldemort, Peter P.
nogarE by FrescaPower reviews
Everything in Alagaesia is the opposite of what it should be. Brom is young, Arya is weak, Angela is sane, Murtagh wants to go to the Varden,and Eragon questions nothing. A parody of the Eragon movie.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,071 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 6/9/2009 - Published: 9/24/2008
Inheritance Character Correction University by Wokmistress reviews
Sure the characters are cardboard, but what happens when Harry Potter and LotR characters try to teach them to be good characters? [ERAGON PARODY]
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,428 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/13/2008 - Published: 9/9/2007
The Scourge by Walter the Wizard reviews
Voldemort rants about Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 331 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Published: 5/19/2007 - Voldemort, Harry P. - Complete
Special by made.unmade reviews
Beauty, intelligence and grace do not make a woman special, as Peter Pevensie knows. Short OneShot.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 609 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/6/2006 - Peter Pevensie - Complete
Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around by crazyroninchic reviews
Several members of the Fellowship come across a Marysue Legomance. Chaos ensues…A bit of light humor and MS satire. If for nothing else, read to imagine the looks on Leggie’s face…COMPLETED
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 49,741 - Reviews: 2103 - Favs: 740 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 8/3/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Complete
Your Average Morning by battousaichick reviews
ONESHOT:: Yahiko is still having problems getting used to Kenshin and Kaoru being together, the walls are very thin. And for some reason Sano finds this all very funny Rated for sexual suggestion and naughtiness by KXK
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,056 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/12/2005 - Yahiko, Sanosuke - Complete
Eavesdropping by Boomerang-chan reviews
Misao and Megumi visit Kaoru. Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Yahiko overhear their conversation and they are not exactly thinking the cleanest! NO LONGER ONE-SHOT! CH. 3: Aphrodisiac
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,753 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/20/2004 - Published: 12/5/2003 - Complete
Order in the Dojo? by NachoManLance reviews
Reporting live at the Kamiya Courthouse, with Judge Kenshin presiding the case of Kaoru versus Yahiko. The trial of the century begins now! !Completed!
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,170 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 1/16/2004 - Published: 10/23/2003 - Kaoru, Yahiko - Complete
Point Blank by Ravyn reviews
The Battousai is having a bad day and is hell bent on bringing the Rurouni down with him. How exactley does the Battousai see Kaoru? A lighter look at the BattousaiRurouni argument. revised
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,317 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 26 - Published: 10/21/2003 - Kenshin, Kaoru - Complete
Kenshin 101: Sex Talk by risokura reviews
Kenshin began to wonder ...how the hell did he get saddled with the responsibility to teach Yahiko what sex was?
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,120 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/29/2003 - Kenshin, Hiko - Complete
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Diamond Cut Diamond reviews
Arya and Murtagh are more similar than either would admit. Both have been hardened by a life that has treated them less than well. Everyone knows it takes a diamond to cut a diamond. AxM, post-final battle.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 25,282 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 1/22/2013 - Published: 7/12/2011 - Arya, Murtagh
The Happiest Place On Earth reviews
In which the Inheritance gang decides to celebrate the overthrow of King Galbatorix by going to the most popular vacation spot ever-Disneyland! Swearing, sexual content, disturbing elements, such as bunnies being killed and Murtagh wearing eyeliner.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,425 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/20/2013 - Published: 7/10/2012
Capital Vices reviews
Humans beings are not perfect, whatever Christopher Paolini may believe. When the fate of Alagaesia rests upon the shoulders of teenagers, triumph will surely be tempered with loss. The road to victory may be more full of twists than anyone imagined.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,389 - Reviews: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/12/2013 - Published: 5/6/2012
The Sisterhood of the Bickering Sues reviews
One of the greatest diabolical reunions to ever be written in the world of literature, a cult uniting some of the most popular book fandoms in Fanfiction…a gathering in which our feared nemesis coerces together…a Sisterhood of Mary-Sues. Written with E21
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,171 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 11/19/2011
The Utterly Cliche Life of Murtagh Morzansson reviews
Fanfiction authors just love the emo rider, don't they? Here, I parody their attempts to write about him mercilessly.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,383 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/8/2012 - Murtagh
Psychoanalysis in Alagaesia reviews
I think we can all agree Eragon's screwed up family needs counseling...
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,354 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 12/6/2011 - Published: 6/11/2011
A Recount of a Travesty: Eragon reviews
Your favorite dirty minded and mouthed duo recap the horrible excuse for a movie that was "Eragon." Rated for sexual innuendo, cussing, and book-maiming. Co-written with Evanescence2189.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,110 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/6/2011 - Complete
The Marvelous Adventures of a Marysue: IC reviews
The beginning of a saga of sue parodies; the Inheritance characters find an MxOC suefic and are soon faced with horrors they never thought possible. Co-written with Evanescence2189
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 29,846 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 9/3/2011 - Published: 4/11/2011 - Complete
The Death Eaters' Chatroom reviews
What happens when the death eaters discover the internet? You'll find out! Bella goes to therapy, Snape gets hooked on webkinz, and there's even a visit from the chosen one himself! Awful, awful fic I started when I was eleven. and don't have the heart to take down.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 6,547 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 8/27/2011 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Rejection reviews
History repeats itself and Arya reflects. Oneshot.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 814 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Arya - Complete
Writer's Block and Complaints reviews
Christopher Paolini is paid some visits.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 12,121 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 3/14/2011 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Complete
Easier Than Confusion reviews
As Murtagh and Thorn wing their way home from the Battle of the Burning Plains, Murtagh thinks his actions over. Oneshot.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 697 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Murtagh, Thorn - Complete
Five Minutes reviews
Nasuada reflects upon her life. One-shot.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 355 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Nasuada
How to get the Snape Look! reviews
Insructions for snape-wannabes! Written when I was young and stupid. Be nice.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 440 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Severus S.