duckypmls
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Joined 06-04-09, id: 1958127, Profile Updated: 03-10-10

I am a female living in the USA and I enjoy reading many stories on fanfiction, so I thought I would get an acount so I could load my faves on to the website so I don't lose track and forget some of my favorites. I AM OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT AND EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN. So if you would look at my favorites list to keep 2 things in mind.

1. YOU MUST LOVE TWILIGHT.

2. YOU MUST BE AN EDWARD FAN AND, NNNNNOOOOOOOOO JACOB FANS. I USALLY STAY AWAY FROM STORIES WITH JACOB IN THEM.

Music: 30h!3, pcd, black eyed peas, american rejects, lady gaga, boys like girls, click five, gwen stefani, akon, sean kingston, timbaland, rihanna, kelly clarkson, beyonce, paramore, kings of leon, the fray, missy elliot fergie, panic at the disco, Britney spears, avril lavigne, pink, and many more.

Books: pride and prejudice, twilight saga, jane eyre, the prince and the pauper, wayside schools, non-fiction books, treasure island, wind and the willows, bailey schools kids, the host, patricia polacco books, on christmas eve, ect.

Movies: twilight, grease, the holiday, she's the man, the notebook, titanic, jon tucker must die, because I said so, some like it hot, pride and prejudice, romeo and juliet, a walk to remeber, polar express, she's all that, king kong, snow white and the seven dwarfs, sleeping beauty, seven year itch, plus many more.

hobbies: shopping, being on the computer, reading magazines, reading, golfing, swimming, bowling, traveling, designing, decorating, planning, hanging with my friends and family, being artsy, photography, cooking, writing, dancing, watching movies, and looking for hot guys.

girl meets a boy on her yahoo messenger:

crazy1 86: hey baby!!

h0tNsPiCy91: who is this??

crazy1 86: ur secret admirer!!

h0tNsPiCy91: oh really…. quit lyin! who is this??

crazy1 86: i loved u the first time a stared in your eyes…

crazy1 86: i think about u everyday… you are my dream come true.

crazy1 86: we met once! i dont think u remember tho.

crazy1 86: i cut myself because the pain takes away my feelings of u.

crazy1 86: u will see me sometime tonight….

h0tNsPiCy91: ..WHO IS THIS!?

crazy1 86:dont worry…. ill take very good care of you…

crazy1 86 had signed off.

The girl was so scared she locked all her doors and windows. She made sure her room was secured. She wasn’t sure if it was a joke or for real. She didn’t know when he was going to come. The girl was so frightened she decided to sleep with her little sister. The girl dozed off quickly.

Then she heard a knock on the window. The girl slowly walked to the window. It started knocking louder. The girl looked through the windows and saw nothing… just some of the tree branches. The girl went back to bed with her sister. The bed was wet and had a pretty horrid smell. Maybe her sister wet the bed… the girl checked and found blood everywhere. The girl panicked. She didn’t know what to do. She ran and hid in the closet in case the killer was there for her. While looking through the cracks of the closet the girl saw a shadow. It was dark, so she couldn’t figure out who it was. She started to get more frightened. The shadow crept closer to the closet. The girl closed her eyes as if it was a dream. Then suddenly he opened the closet door and pulled her out.

Her parents found her dead the next morning. She was completely skinned and hanging in her sister’s closet. The younger sister was also found skinned and dead.

PART 2…

Two years after the Smith sisters deaths, the parents had a baby boy. The girl’s room became a guest room and the little sister’s room where the murder took place became the baby’s room. The baby grew up to be a successful kid.

One night he was on the computer and received an instant messege.

h0tNsPiCy91: Hey lil bro!!

2seXay4u: Who the eff is this?

h0tNsPiCy91: It’s your big sis.

2seXay4u: I never had a sister. I’m an only child.

2seXay4u: This is some kinda joke, huh?

h0tNsPiCy91: Mom and dad never told you?

h0tNsPiCy91: I died 15 years ago with your other older sister.

h0tNsPiCy91: We were murdered in your room which was once my little sister’s room. She was killed in bed when I was sleeping. I was killed in the closet and skinned to death.

2seXay4u: Quit lying. I never had a sister. If I did my parents would have told me. Whatever. Your stupid.

h0tNsPiCy91: You don’t believe me? Well if you wanna look in your closet floor.

h0tNsPiCy91: I carved my name and the time and date I was being murdered. Then I carved my little sister’s name.

h0tNsPiCy91: If you don’t believe me little brother check the internet. Google on ”Smith sisters murdered anonymously”.

h0tNsPiCy91: I gtg little brother. I love you and mom and dad soo much. I can’t believe they kept us a secret from you. They should burn in hell.

The boy checked the closet. He saw the carvings. Was it true? He surfed the internet and information was there about the anonymous murder in the house. The next morning the boy went downstairs. It was so quiet. Maybe his parents were sleeping. Hours later the boy found his parents in their closet skinned and hanged. Then he found more carvings on the ground. They said ”I TOLD YOU I WASN’T LYING LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD…. BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. WELL I’M FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD, I WON’T HURT YOU LIKE I HURT THEM. I LOVE YOU!”

- LISA SMITH

This is a death chain letter. If you don’t… in the next hour, the parents will kill you at night. They will kill you! (FOR REALS)

DONT BELIEVE ME? LOOK IT UP IN GOOGLE!

In 1993, two sisters were brutally murdered in the small-town community of Plainfield, Wisconsin. Lisa Smith, 19; and her sister, Sarah Smith, 15; were attacked in their parent’s home on the night of November 17th, around 1:30AM. Sarah was found stabbed and strangled in the bed where she had been sleeping. Her sister Lisa was found hanging in her sister’s closet, skinned alive. Police conducted an extensive investigation, but to no avail. The motives for the attacks were never discovered, nor was the attacker ever found. The only lead athorities had was a log found in Lisa’s computer, showing a series of threatening messages sent through an Internet Relay Chat service. The case was closed in October of 2000.

If u don’t repost this in 10min u will be skinned alive and killed just like them

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

"True love can be found anywhere. Even a small diner in the middle of Philadelphia."-J&A
"True love can be found anywhere. Even out in the woods after you get your butt kicked by a grizzly bear." -R&Em
"True love can be found anywhere. Even in a morge after its been declared to late." -C&Es
"True love can be found anywhere. Even when its your food you fall in love with and the world seems to be against you." E&B

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If "knowledge is power" and "power corrupts" does Knowledge corrupt?

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question and actualy needed the ancwer, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slpet on the floor of your room next to your bed because you felt like it, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder) at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you went with your firends to see Twilight at midnight, copy and paste this into you profile then scream!

If you get upset when Jacob kisses Bella in the books even though you knew it was coming copy and pase this into your profile.

If you've ever thought that one of the songs on the Twilight CD would make a good marching band show, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy and paste this into your profile.

Dance like no one's watching!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters long, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

"I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned."

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not."

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

"Forbidden to remember; terrified to forget. It's a hard line to walk."

If you love to copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. because you know you want to.

"You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it come true." - Richard Bach
I live by this quote, it's awsome!

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." — Lewis Carroll.
another great quote.


Friends: I love my friends and this is dedicated to them.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will help you when your confused, A best friend will act like nothings wrong but use "small words".
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend allready has you on speed dial.
A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
A good friend will give you a cookie when your down. A best firend will help you plan revenge...
A good friend will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. A best friend has all ready hidden your keys so neather one of you will find them and will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend will sugestbooks for you to read. A best friend will tied you down and made you read twilight then you'll never need another book again.
A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. A best friend calls your parents MOM and DAD.
A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best friend loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...It'll turn up sooner or later."
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
A good friend asks nicely for your stuff. A best friend just shouts ‘GIMME!!’
A good friend Waits to call you until a reasonable hour. A best Friend Calls you at 2 in the freaking morning.
A good friends will pick you up when your down. A BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh.
A good friends will let you dance with your boyfriend. A BEST FRIENDS will yell 'No She's Mine'.
A good friends won't let you do stupid things. A BEST FRIENDS won't let you do stupid things 'alone'.
A good friends will take you to buy a pregnancy test. A BEST FRIENDS will stand outside the bathroom screaming "NAME IT AFTER ME!"
A good friends will buy you lunch. A BEST FRIENDS will eat yours.
A good friend will come and ask you to get a drink with her if some strange boy grabes you on the dance floor and you need an 'out'. A best friend will push herself inbetween you and the punk, wrapp her arms around you, and say. "I'm sorry she's here with me, find your own date."
A good friend will help you up when you fall. A Best Friend will pull you back down when you try to stand up because you pulled her down when she tripped you.
A good friend will E-mail you once a month to try and keep in touch once college and life have separated you. A Best Friend won't see you for six months and when your togeather again it's like you were never apart.


"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunatley it kills all of it's pupils..."

"True love can be found anywhere. Even a small diner in the middle of Philadelphia."-J&A
"True love can be found anywhere. Even out in the woods after you get your butt kicked by a grizzly bear." -R&Em
"True love can be found anywhere. Even in a morge after its been declared to late." -C&Es
"True love can be found anywhere. Even when its your food you fall in love with and the world seems to be against you." E&B

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If "knowledge is power" and "power corrupts" does Knowledge corrupt?

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question and actualy needed the ancwer, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slpet on the floor of your room next to your bed because you felt like it, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder) at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you went with your firends to see Twilight at midnight, copy and paste this into you profile then scream!

If you get upset when Jacob kisses Bella in the books even though you knew it was coming copy and pase this into your profile.

If you've ever thought that one of the songs on the Twilight CD would make a good marching band show, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy and paste this into your profile.

Dance like no one's watching!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters long, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever ran into a parked car, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hated the Twilight movie but got it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned."

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not."

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

"Forbidden to remember; terrified to forget. It's a hard line to walk."

If you love Jasper Hale and wish you were Alice, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are one of the 'three out of two people' who have trouble with math, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 48 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever used the term "Thou art far cooler than a peanut butter muffin", copy and paste this into your profile.

Everyone is born right handed, only the gifted overcome it. If you are left handed and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love to copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. because you know you want to.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to go. If you're one of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you have an insane best friend, then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! and make one up yourself.

If you have ever tripped over nothing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't sing to save your life but do so anyway, Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read books that no one has ever heard of, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into something while walking with a book (I have-multiple times) , copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate! , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends have ever threatened to "cause you bodily harm" you because you talk about twilight to much, copy and paste this into your proifle. (Mine did, there scary when they get mad.)

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your new insult is to call some one a dog, or mutt, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish to one day be an author yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with TWILIGHT fanfiction copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realy should sometimes stop and think about what your going to say before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off!

If you have ever dreamed or wished that a book character was real (Jasper!) copy and paste this in your profile

If you hear voices of the Twilight characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you now dream of one day owning a Yellow porsche, and It has to be yellow or it doesn't count, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123,bella cullen 17, Number-1-Twilighters, darkroselight,duckypmls,

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If you tossed your copy of New Moon acroos the room when Edward left Bella only to leap after it, despret to get to the part when you knew he would come back, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wished boys would really sparkl, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER, because we all know Stephenie Meyer owns all of the twilight characters not us and we all secretly wish we could be her, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Emmett or Jasper...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copyand paste this into your profile.

If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Jasper Hale, a completely fictional character...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading (Or writing) in your head...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy and paste this into your profile.(Hee, hee I can never go back to New York)

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If almost all of your "Copy and Past this" things are about Twilight , Copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and Paste this into your profile, because you know you want to.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile...Lets not talk about this one.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you can change any topic of conversation into something Twilight related, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever started a Twilight debate in one of your classes at school (My Econ class), copy and paste this into your profile.

95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst into song for no reason, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know someone that should be hit by a bus, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Twilight is the best book know to woman... (And man if there cool enough to read it!) Copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

Jacob imprinted on Nessie!! How wrong is that!! If you agree copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever stayed up all night readding fanfic or a real book, copy and paste this into your profile.

I agree with the dictionary: Girls before guys, partying before studying, books before reality, music before sleep, death before drugs, Chocholat before Math, dessert before dinner, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely. If you "think intensely" about Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My night in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If your the kinda person who walks into a chair and apologizes, copy and paste this into your profile.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. If you've all ready done that with your firends, copy and paste this into your profile.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. If you love life and just want to simile for no reason right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

When angry count to ten, when very angry, swear!

"Stuff you hear about me might be true. Then again, it might be as fake a the person who told you."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I thought to myself, where the heck is the celing?

Friendship isnt about who you have known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side.

Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.

Don't look back wishing you did something different, instead, hold your head up high and walk into the future that awaits you.

Without those blonde moments, life would be so dull.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary.

When women are depressed, they eat chocolate or go shoppin

g. Men invade another country and blow things up. It's a whole different way of thinking.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG alot, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh at the world while it trys to figgur out how you did it.

Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

One day your prince will come... Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me? if you love sarcasim, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls giving up chocholat is like world peace, we all want it to happen but we know it's never going to.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. copy and paste this into your profile if you understand.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

If over half of your profile is “Copy and past this into your profile” things, copy and paste this into your profile, because one more wont hurt now.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass. If you understand the true meaning of firendship, copy and paste this into your profile.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun..!

He said "I love you". I sneezed and said "Sorry, I’m allergic to bullcrap".

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

Life isn’t passing me by. It’s trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide!

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey nice carpet!

Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you.

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you are one of the 'three out of two people' who have trouble with math, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 48 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love to copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. because you know you want to.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this and put it in your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to go. If you're one of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you have an insane best friend, then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! and make one up yourself.

If you have ever tripped over nothing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't sing to save your life but do so anyway, Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read books that no one has ever heard of, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into something while walking with a book (I have-multiple times) , copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate! , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends have ever threatened to "cause you bodily harm" you because you talk about twilight to much, copy and paste this into your proifle. (Mine did, there scary when they get mad.)

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your new insult is to call some one a dog, or mutt, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish to one day be an author yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with TWILIGHT fanfiction copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realy should sometimes stop and think about what your going to say before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off!

If you have ever dreamed or wished that a book character was real (Edward!)copy and paste this in your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If you tossed your copy of New Moon acroos the room when Edward left Bella only to leap after it, despret to get to the part when you knew he would come back, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wished boys would really sparkl, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER, because we all know Stephenie Meyer owns all of the twilight characters not us and we all secretly wish we could be her, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Emmett or Jasper...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copyand paste this into your profile.

If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Jasper Hale, a completely fictional character...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading (Or writing) in your head...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy and paste this into your profile.(Hee, hee I can never go back to New York)

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If almost all of your "Copy and Past this" things are about Twilight , Copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and Paste this into your profile, because you know you want to.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile...Lets not talk about this one.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you can change any topic of conversation into something Twilight related, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever started a Twilight debate in one of your classes at school (My Econ class), copy and paste this into your profile.

95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst into song for no reason, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know someone that should be hit by a bus, Copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Twilight is the best book know to woman... (And man if there cool enough to read it!) Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a weakness for "good" Burritos, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

I support Blackwater, copy and paste this into your profile if you know what that is and agree.

If you think "rock paper scissors" solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

Jacob imprinted on Nessie!! How wrong is that!! If you agree copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turkey-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever stayed up all night readding fanfic or a real book, copy and paste this into your profile.

I agree with the dictionary: Girls before guys, partying before studying, books before reality, music before sleep, death before drugs, Chocholat before Math, dessert before dinner, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely. If you "think intensely" about Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My night in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If your the kinda person who walks into a chair and apologizes, copy and paste this into your profile.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. If you've all ready done that with your firends, copy and paste this into your profile.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. If you love life and just want to simile for no reason right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

When angry count to ten, when very angry, swear!

"Stuff you hear about me might be true. Then again, it might be as fake a the person who told you."

Well behaved women never make history.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I thought to myself, where the heck is the celing?

Friendship isnt about who you have known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side.

Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.

Don't look back wishing you did something different, instead, hold your head up high and walk into the future that awaits you.

Without those blonde moments, life would be so dull.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary.

When women are depressed, they eat chocolate or go shopping. Men invade another country and blow things up. It's a whole different way of thinking.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG alot, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. (I've tried this)

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh at the world while it trys to figgur out how you did it.

Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

One day your prince will come... Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

"Elmo knows where you live". If you shiverd after you read this, copy and paste this into your profile.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me? if you love sarcasim, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls giving up chocholat is like world peace, we all want it to happen but we know it's never going to.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. copy and paste this into your profile if you understand.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers, If your afrade of shrinks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If over half of your profile is “Copy and past this into your profile” things, copy and paste this into your profile, because one more wont hurt now.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass. If you understand the true meaning of firendship, copy and paste this into your profile.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

He said "I love you". I sneezed and said "Sorry, I’m allergic to bullcrap".

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

Life isn’t passing me by. It’s trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide!

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey nice carpet!

I can resist everything except temptation.

Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it but only you can feel it.

Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you.

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be misquoted, then used against you.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isnt.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: "I couldn't find anyone to copy it from".

A best friend can look at you with a smile on your face and ask 'What's wrong?'

She's the kind of friend I could call in the middle of the night and say I killed somebody and her first question would be "where'd you put the body?"

It takes a minute to like some one, an hour to have a crush, and a day to fall in love, but it takes a lifetime to forget!

I live in a world where unicorns eat rainbows and poop butterflies.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

A true friend is someone who will still ride in a car with you no matter how many times you almost killed them.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The road to success is always under construction.

If you've reread the TWILIGHT books (All four of them) over fifteen times, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

Copy paste this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills or Desparet house wifes religiously, never have, never will, and are damn proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people...yup

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? about 23.

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."

Boys are like slinkeys... useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.

Do stairs go up or down?

"No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you."

A day without sunshine is like...you know...night.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two lefts do.

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen to, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

"When America sneezes, Europe gets the cold."

Part of midnight sun was released against Stephenie Meyer’s wishes on the internetand. now she’s postponing the release of the book which is completely fair and with in her rights as an author and the creator of this beloved book sieres. I would be pissed too if someone did that to my work. It's just so wrong! If you want to join the mob that’s going to torch the dip shits that released it early and would happily dance around a fire while they burned in it, Copy and past this onto your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile, Because you rock my sox's right off and I'm not even wearing any sox's!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porsche 911 Turbos make really great bribes, if there yellow.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid. (Edward)
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.
31. True love can be found anywhere even a small diner in Philadelphia.
32. Hell is always better if you get to keep an angle with you.
33. Silent solder + hypper pixie = true love.
34. Hope will save us all.
35. The deffination of "Angle" is debatable.
36. Golden retrevers are annoing but loyal, and should keep their thoughts to themselves.
37. "Purring" can be very sexy.
38. Forks is not just something you eat with.
39. A good friend is worth fighting for.
40. Sometimes you can chose your family.
41. "Slow driving" is a matter of oppinon.
42. Girls make the best pitchers.
43. Sleeping wasts a lot of time.

This has got to be one of the cleverest brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is deadly at Scrabble.
1. DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

2. PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

3. ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

4. DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

5. THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

6. GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

7. THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

8. SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

9. ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

10. ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

11. SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

12. A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

13. THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

14. ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

15. MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone has waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!

╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder. Put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,livelaughlove23, emmettsmyfave, Chellie09, BloodWhiteWolf, duckypmls,

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door. (I HAVE!)

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

My favorite word is sarcasm. (Yep, totally is.)

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. (Hmm, let’s see, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking dawn only took 10hrs, Harry Potter 1-7, and many many others.)

If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile.

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways. (Especially the double chocolate ones, mmm.)

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib." (I picture Emmett every time I read this...)

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them. (It works 99percent of the time! :-)

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. (I apparently believe in putting vampires in incredibly awkward situations.)

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Education is important; school however, is another matter. (I firmly believe this, I mean I get straight A's in school and I very rarely show up.)

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Boys are like skateboards; they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you. (What I said to my brother throughout my childhood.)

Be kind to a stranger, coz you'll never know; it just might be an angel, knocking at your door.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant. You will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know.

If you're a CHOCAHOLIC then copy and paste this!!

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3

Too many people have died because of other's need of fame and fortune. If you care, post this on your profile

If you are someone who begs to differ from the crowd, copy this and paste it into your profile

If you think like Albert Einstein and agree that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy this into your profile.

POP QUIZ!

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?

My mom. just a second!

Look up. Now look back.
What did you see?

I saw the ceiling and the kitchen and living room.

What's the last thing you ate?
A muffin

Say "George Bush".
What's the first thing that comes to your mind?

George bush came to my mind or old also came to mey mind.

You now have a million dollars.
What do you do?
I would save some for the future and spend 15,000 to go to L.A. and have a shopping spree.

Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18.
What does it say?

twenieth_century ireland.Could it be she just no enjoyed

What can you hear right now?

crinkling of paper

Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes.
What's the first thing you see?
I see the snow gently falling or the I see the window.

Turn on the T.V.
What show is on?

kendra:here comes baby

Another quiz:

Put your 12 favorite Twilight characters in no order at all.

1. edward

2.rosalie

3.alice

4. emmett

5. bella

6. jasper

7.carlisle

8. charlie

9. esme

10. renesme

11.jessica

12. lauren

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

No, and I don't really want to.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

super hot

3)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

not possible and if possible ewww

4)Do you recall any fics about Nine?

yep and it was hot.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

I wouldn't think they would be but some people might think they would be cute together.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

five/nine (bella and renesme)

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing?

It would be awkward but he would still be turned on. (carlisle, rosalie/lauren)

8) Make up a summery of a Three/Ten fanfic.

Renesme needs advice from her favorite aunt.

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

I hope not. ewwwwww ewwww

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

bandaged

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three fics?

yes

13) Does anyone you know writes or draw Eleven?

a few people

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

yes, it is usual spicy with them

15) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

ugh ugh jjjaccobbb ohh yeahhh

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

my little girl By: Time Mcgraw ( how he feels on Bella's wedding day

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

WARNING: may get hot and heavy

18) What would be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

I think she would say this "If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents", or this one" Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

I think jessica would say Charlie and rosalie's relationship is like family.

20) How emo is Seven?

not at all.

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

AOne heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

there were 3girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Punch Me, Love Me, Save Me by ericastwilight reviews
Edward Cullen is an alcoholic who hits rock bottom. One day, his sister Alice is handed a card – Only Call If Desperate & ALL Else Has Failed. She makes the call that will change her brother's life. His savior? Bella Swan.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 32 - Words: 160,424 - Reviews: 4005 - Favs: 3,090 - Follows: 3,866 - Updated: 3/18 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Plan - OUTTAKES by QuantumFizzx reviews
REMOVED. Thank you for your readership. Kept a few chapters up to explain why & share outtakes alter. Obsessed but unnoticed for over a year, she puts a plan in motion to catch the eye of the corner-office. That's her plan. Fate has another plan entirely
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,768 - Reviews: 19565 - Favs: 6,610 - Follows: 4,499 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Diva Diaries by KiyaRaven reviews
*TAKEN DOWN. MANY APOLOGIES.* Dear Diary, When he left, I became numb. Safe in a bubble of denial and bitterness. Now, he's back, and I've agreed to be his co-star in a new Broadway play. Obviously, if there were a Nation of Stupid People, I would be their Queen. A/H
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,419 - Reviews: 12681 - Favs: 6,074 - Follows: 5,415 - Updated: 3/3 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Beautiful Stranger by NJNYTwiGals reviews
Newly divorced and single mom Bella decides it's time to let loose and have some fun at her friend's Halloween party. After an encounter with an alluring stranger, Bella's life turns upside down. AH-Cannon Couples. A one-shot turned multi-chapter
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 40 - Words: 304,054 - Reviews: 4939 - Favs: 2,990 - Follows: 3,103 - Updated: 12/4/2013 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Edward, Bella
Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 150,800 - Reviews: 19951 - Favs: 12,645 - Follows: 5,324 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Complete
Another Life by DreamofRob10 reviews
For the first 12 years of Isabella's life, it was a complete nightmare. 12 years later, she couldn't ask for a better life until famous football player, Edward Cullen enters the picture. ExB AH Rated M for language... angst/humor. More inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 155,325 - Reviews: 709 - Favs: 627 - Follows: 761 - Updated: 6/2/2013 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Bella, Edward
Candy by Danifaith12345 reviews
Bella Swan the to herself innocent girl of Forks, might be pregnant by the school's heartbreaking player, Edward Masen. How did this come about ? And what will she do now? AH. Same story, different PenName! Rated M for some Lemons*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 91,982 - Reviews: 823 - Favs: 596 - Follows: 517 - Updated: 12/3/2012 - Published: 11/7/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Handcuff Bracelet by Lykosdracos reviews
Having escaped to Forks, will Bella find solace in dark Edward Cullen? How hard will Edward have to fight to keep that which he longs to claim? Rated MA for lemons, language, drug and alcohol content. Tattoos with meaning, leather worn well- enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 475,248 - Reviews: 1570 - Favs: 1,469 - Follows: 1,293 - Updated: 11/6/2012 - Published: 2/18/2010 - Edward, Bella
A Pound of Flesh by jaxon22 reviews
To pay a debt she owes her father, Isabella Swan starts a new job as a prison tutor. Edward Cullen, with his own debts, is the Punk Ass inmate in her class. Can they fight the odds and their dangerous attaction to learn from each other? A/H, Lemons, OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 47 - Words: 517,119 - Reviews: 21187 - Favs: 10,292 - Follows: 7,879 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 4/26/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Whatever Comes Next by HappyMess reviews
A year ago, Isabella Swan was new at school and instantly gained acceptance. Unfortunately, a certain bronze haired new kid isn't so lucky. Hidden friendships slowly build and blossom into more. Will it be social suicide?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 96,866 - Reviews: 933 - Favs: 850 - Follows: 835 - Updated: 8/18/2012 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
No Place Like Home by tellingmelies reviews
Edward is forced to leave his playboy life behind in Chicago and come home to Washington, but will he change his ways or risk losing everything? All human, cannon couples, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 255,403 - Reviews: 6811 - Favs: 6,271 - Follows: 4,904 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Unknown Caller by AlwaysMyBella reviews
Seven year old Bella is home alone and hurts her finger. Having no one to call she dials a random number. Enter 8 year old Edward. Ten years of laughs, tears and friendship later, can it ever evolve into love? & is Edward closer then Bella thinks? AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 32,973 - Reviews: 3034 - Favs: 1,854 - Follows: 1,944 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Words 'Best Friend' Become Redefined by ColorMeChaotic132 reviews
Edward & Bella have been best friends & neighbors since they were little kids, but will they be able to overcome Edward's secrets? ALL HUMAN BxE LEMONS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 44 - Words: 211,245 - Reviews: 581 - Favs: 521 - Follows: 455 - Updated: 5/15/2012 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
My Facebook Reunion by EternallyCullen reviews
28 year old English teacher, Bella Swan is dreading being dragged to her 10 year reunion with Alice; until a certain social networking site offers her a very welcome blast from the past... BxE, AH. M. *COMPLETE*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 142,621 - Reviews: 2388 - Favs: 1,838 - Follows: 1,131 - Updated: 5/12/2012 - Published: 9/2/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sweet Treats and Deadbeats by DreamQuill reviews
Edward Cullen, Hollywood writer and bestselling author, had it all and threw it away in the blink of an eye. Bella Swan, single mother of two, is used to pain. Can two meddlesome kids, a pastry shop, and new friends bring these two together? OOC, AH,
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 152,564 - Reviews: 1383 - Favs: 1,552 - Follows: 1,073 - Updated: 4/17/2012 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Image by Rason reviews
Bella Swan is America's Sweetheart. Edward Masen is a photographer for Maxim. Bella's publicist wants her to sex up her image in order to break from her good girl persona. In comes the sexy photographer that not only changes her image, but also her life.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 19,545 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 377 - Updated: 2/28/2012 - Published: 8/19/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Late Late Show With Edward Cullen by chartwilightmom reviews
AH/AU, OOC Bella is a famous actress and Edward is a host of a late night talk show. What do they whisper to each other when they greet each other on stage?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 135,649 - Reviews: 2161 - Favs: 2,279 - Follows: 1,532 - Updated: 2/20/2012 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Evading Edward by VampiresHaveLaws reviews
Bella's first encounter with Edward instantly leads to a mutual dislike. She is the new girl in town who has attracted more than one admirer and he's the boy who usually gets what he wants. So how will one evade when the other is set to conquer? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 366,513 - Reviews: 7566 - Favs: 4,814 - Follows: 3,478 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 9/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Karma by Tori Masen-Cullen reviews
Billionaire CEO Edward Cullen knew quiet Pre-K teacher Bella Swan in H/S but age difference and his choice of lifestyle kept him from pursuing her. Bella comes back into his live twelve years later under extreme circumstances will he get his chance?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 38,708 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 576 - Follows: 876 - Updated: 2/5/2012 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Bella, Edward
You Dont Have to Hide by hippiehappy reviews
Bella believes in the simple things. She works hard, lives alone, does her best to get by. What happens when she meets the stunning Edward Cullen-while trapped in an elevator? Its Hollywood meets hometown. What can they teach each other about love?AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 66,842 - Reviews: 930 - Favs: 1,757 - Follows: 675 - Updated: 2/4/2012 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Art of Worship by GreenPuma reviews
“As a Cullen you were born with certain—endowments—that dispose you to success with women. But, there is a beauty in sex which, if you grew to appreciate it—an art which, if you commited to learning it—would bring you such pleasure as mortals never know"
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,199 - Reviews: 451 - Favs: 765 - Follows: 1,131 - Updated: 1/9/2012 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Bella, Edward
Paramore and Bella? Or is it Hayley? by edwardcullenlvr1234 reviews
Edward left Bella 200 years ago. Bella was changed by Victoria, and is now a famous singer and formed the band Paramore. What happens when the Cullen's see her on TV? I know that this has been done before, but not by me! :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,314 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 11/26/2011 - Published: 5/7/2009 - Edward, Bella
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13041 - Favs: 6,220 - Follows: 2,778 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Lies of the Soul by knicnort3 reviews
Edward and Ben grew up together, closer than best friends. They relied on each other for everything and told every secret -or did they? After a devastating secret tears them apart, years later Edward meets Bella and feels a connection to her that he only felt with one other person. What is Bella's link to Ben, and how will Edward react when he finds out? AH, AU, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 27 - Words: 120,235 - Reviews: 1208 - Favs: 1,330 - Follows: 490 - Updated: 10/22/2011 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
There is a Light by belladonnacullen reviews
This was 1987; before the Internet, before Twitter, before Facebook – this was back when it was still possible for people not to know about things: big things - like bands, and little things - like G-spots. AH, ExB, with some other parings along the way.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 141,350 - Reviews: 5084 - Favs: 3,643 - Follows: 2,415 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Life Had Other Plans by JennaRay reviews
Bella is an 18 year old college freshman. Edward is a 30 year old surgeon and a single dad of a 4 year old girl who has his life established and is not searching for or expecting love. Watch as their lives cross paths. AH/OOC. M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 35 - Words: 243,474 - Reviews: 4461 - Favs: 3,265 - Follows: 3,396 - Updated: 10/16/2011 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Bella, Edward
Unplanned Perfection by littlecat358 reviews
Bella and Alice were best friends, which made Bella the only girl off limits to Alice's brother Edward. When a party the summer after graduation gets out of control, Bella's world is turned upside down. "He doesn't know. I don't want him to."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 42 - Words: 407,022 - Reviews: 12935 - Favs: 8,251 - Follows: 4,645 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 8/11/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward Cullen: Purse Snatcher by ericastwilight reviews
Edward is dared to do something stupid by his cousin Emmett. "Yeah, but do you think we should've told him that she's the police chief's daughter?" One stolen purse leads to so much more. E/B OOC-AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 91,439 - Reviews: 3923 - Favs: 3,081 - Follows: 2,424 - Updated: 9/13/2011 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
She Will Be Loved by knicnort3 reviews
Bella always loved Edward since she was a little girl; the only problem was that he was her half sister's boyfriend. Events in her teen years send Bella down a spiral of depression and self destruction until adulthood. Sum inside! AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 109,797 - Reviews: 771 - Favs: 835 - Follows: 417 - Updated: 9/10/2011 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer by ericastwilight reviews
Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. But she falls hard, too, at the risk of breaking her own heart when the truth is revealed. EXB-AH-OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 328,966 - Reviews: 9412 - Favs: 8,117 - Follows: 5,673 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Untouchable Like A Distant Diamond Sky by xoxo41 reviews
Edward Cullen is the football captain who is dating the cheerleading captain, Tanya. Bella Swan is the average best friend to Edward who is secretly in love with him. All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,773 - Reviews: 540 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 354 - Updated: 9/1/2011 - Published: 11/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Riding for a Fall by SparklingMaye reviews
After several failed relationships, Bella Swan had never imagined that she would fall for hot-headed, bull riding, Edward Cullen. Will Edward be able to recognize his true feelings for Bella? Can Bella break this wild cowboy or will he never be tamed?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 81,861 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 236 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 8/17/2011 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Real World: California by sarahandkate reviews
"That's not fair!" Alice says frustratingly. "You cant force people to be in relationships!" . "Alice, welcome to The Real World: California. Welcome to showbiz, baby!" 9 strangers. 1 house. 6 months. Get ready for drama, heartbreak & broken friendships.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 147,347 - Reviews: 904 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 227 - Updated: 7/12/2011 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Bella, Edward
Work in Progress by araeo reviews
AU/AH: Bella, Edward and the usual suspects are adults living in Seattle. They hit it off after a klutzy accident and E awakens B's ovaries, who never hesitate to voice their pervy opinion in B's head. Rated M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 281,655 - Reviews: 6486 - Favs: 5,605 - Follows: 3,479 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Confessions of a Love Sick Geek by SoapyMayhem reviews
HIATUS Edward is a geeky comic book writer who has been secretly in love with his best friend Bella for years. When Bella and her boyfriend break up, Edward devises a plan to make her see him as more than a friend. Can Bella see beyond the Geek?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 80,098 - Reviews: 712 - Favs: 864 - Follows: 1,018 - Updated: 6/23/2011 - Published: 9/25/2010 - Edward, Bella
In A Month: Sweep Any Girl Off Her Feet by BritishBitches reviews
Trying to catch her attention? Want to make a good impression on that special lady? Or just want to improve your social skills when dealing with the opposite sex? Well, you've found the right book! We're here to help! AH ExB RxEm AxJ
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 82,774 - Reviews: 1447 - Favs: 695 - Follows: 868 - Updated: 6/18/2011 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Edward, Bella
Moon Scars by knicnort3 reviews
Edward was trouble, Bella was willing to risk everything to be with him, but a teen pregnancy exposes their secret affair shocking everyone. Just when they seem to work everything out, tragedy rips them apart and takes away all their chances at a life together...or does it? - A story of Love, Loss, and Love Again. Destiny always finds a way, and yes an HEA! *AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 175,662 - Reviews: 847 - Favs: 958 - Follows: 310 - Updated: 6/16/2011 - Published: 11/5/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Inamorata by TheRainGirl reviews
Watching from afar... Silly, sarcastic, sexy. Edward loves to watch. Bella loves to show. Horny hilarity ensues. AH/AU Cannon Pairings. Rated M for language, content, and well duh... lemons. Peeperward & Stripperella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 90,910 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 463 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Bella, Edward
Riding the Fence by morethanmyself reviews
He's everything she thought she'd never want. He just wanted to get in her pants. Which side of the fence does she land on? "I don't go all fan-girl crush on anybody. I don't plan on starting now, either, especially over some random boy." 100% Cowboy Free
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 90,303 - Reviews: 1040 - Favs: 681 - Follows: 569 - Updated: 5/2/2011 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Rubbish by belladonnacullen reviews
Trash. Dirty. Filthy. Late nights. Early mornings. Finally open your eyes to see Edward staring back. It's hard to remember to take out the trash when you're a high-class hooker. Do you need help cleaning house? Let the garbage collector do it.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 62,886 - Reviews: 2787 - Favs: 951 - Follows: 622 - Updated: 4/13/2011 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Rules of Hollywood by suzie55 reviews
Rising Star Edward Cullen is trapped in a fauxmance he wants to end. While filming a movie, he's drawn to a pair of distracting brown eyes. Within the trials of a new relationship, they discover themselves and each other. AH canon pairings lemons drama
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,061 - Reviews: 2150 - Favs: 1,786 - Follows: 801 - Updated: 3/25/2011 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Scarlet by archer24 reviews
Bella is the greatest thief the world's never seen; she is only recognized by her scarlet calling card. Edward is FBI, and has been able to catch every criminal he's come across. Little do they know, they are both about to meet their match. AH, OOC, AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 147,185 - Reviews: 6865 - Favs: 4,501 - Follows: 2,410 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 10/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cullen's girl by Elmo13 reviews
I shivered from the longing while she shivered from the cold. It was intoxicating. Her hair smelled like raspberries. This was wrong, she was my best friend. AH Canon
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 55 - Words: 91,407 - Reviews: 2276 - Favs: 975 - Follows: 801 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Bella, Edward
One Random Weekend by DEBBERS reviews
What started out as a random weekend changed Edward's life. Six years ago he let her walk out his door without knowing her real name. While sitting at a stoplight, the woman he knew as Jane Doe walks by and changes his life again this time forever.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 74,910 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 405 - Updated: 3/11/2011 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Edward, Bella
On Grey Mornings by littlesecret84 reviews
Bella's tryst with power made her infamous. Hounded and ashamed, she's back in Forks to start over again, but where do you find a clean slate when everyone who sees you already knows your biggest secret? AH, adult stuff.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 92,376 - Reviews: 3623 - Favs: 1,946 - Follows: 1,452 - Updated: 3/1/2011 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Love in My Box by cosmoandmarvar reviews
Bella's an intellectual free spirit and Edward is a reserved, slightly geeky med student. They have a brief, but intense encounter on Sp Brk in Miami. Can they find true love through emails? There will be lemons and laughs. Look who's writing this!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 147,894 - Reviews: 8783 - Favs: 5,391 - Follows: 3,809 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Feel Good Drag by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella is one of the top street racers in Arizona. But when a recent race ends up in a police chase, Renee sends her to live with Charlie in Forks. What happens happens when she discovers an underground racing site, and meets new friends? SUMMARY INSIDE AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 41,450 - Reviews: 1270 - Favs: 779 - Follows: 301 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Days Go by Like Weeks by cplust reviews
Bella makes a stupid mistake by getting drunk and sleeping with her best friends boyfriend/her boyfriends best friend. Eventually she falls pregnant, but doesn't know who her babies daddy is. All the usual angst and drama applies. E/B story.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,119 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 1/25/2011 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Bella, Edward
High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType reviews
Cute, trendy Bella returns home to escape the heartache of her past. She immediately befriends neighbors Jasper and Edward, bonding with them in the treehouse out back. Bella and Edward discover they have more in common than they ever dreamed of. AH A/U
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 538,967 - Reviews: 21114 - Favs: 11,571 - Follows: 7,318 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Missing Letters by the-glory-days reviews
Edward decides that it's time that he and Bella finish what they started and complete the game. -- Fandom Gives Back Auction Pieces -- Companion piece to Alphabet Weekends
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,776 - Reviews: 932 - Favs: 1,829 - Follows: 2,043 - Updated: 1/16/2011 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Bigger They Are by LadyExcalibur2010 reviews
Confirmed bachelor and career soldier, Edward Cullen was perfectly happy with his life. Until a young punk busted his windshield. Suddenly, he finds himself drawn to a beautiful widow with a LOT of baggage- four rambunctious sons. AH/AU - COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 78 - Words: 304,177 - Reviews: 9302 - Favs: 4,852 - Follows: 2,541 - Updated: 1/5/2011 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
15 Step by Jenny Jerkface reviews
17-year old Bella Swan moves to Forks after being abandoned by her mother. With music as her only friend and a penchant for trouble, Bella just wants to be left alone. Unfortunately, her behavior attracts the attention of hot tempered Edward Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 77,617 - Reviews: 771 - Favs: 1,141 - Follows: 1,276 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Bella, Edward
Dreaming of you by jemster23 reviews
When critic Bella is roped into interviewing Hollywood actor Edward Cullen, he is anything but the arrogant star she expected him to be.Even more surprising is the fact that he genuinely seems to like her.Is it too good to be true or can dreams come true?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 89,905 - Reviews: 541 - Favs: 626 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Crossroads by RideTheGlitterDick reviews
Edward, a sexy, smart, and judgemental author,is teaching Bella's English class. Bella, a freelance tattooed badass, finds him irresistible. Sexual tension is quick to erupt, but how can opposites attract? Bella's determined to show him how to live. OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,114 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/25/2010 - Bella, Edward
Puppet Love by Blood Venom Tears0816 reviews
Bella hads the strings that holds Rosalie together and can let go whenever she wants and watch her shattered; but what Rosalie don't know...Bella strings are being held by someone other than her. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,673 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 13 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
Code Name: Nanny by xvampiree reviews
“So let me get this straight, you want me to help you catch your wife cheating on you, so that you can divorce her, while taking care of your children?” OOC M for language and Lemons Canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 93,371 - Reviews: 4277 - Favs: 2,886 - Follows: 3,342 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Tutor by ItzMegan73 reviews
New student Bella Swan needs to break out of her shy exterior and her guidance counselor has the answer: tutoring. And Bella is too new to know she shouldn’t want to tutor Edward Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 162,443 - Reviews: 6565 - Favs: 9,256 - Follows: 2,879 - Updated: 12/25/2010 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Art School Confidential by farkle reviews
Bella finds her artistic muse and total embarrassment in person of life model Edward. How can she get him to model for her when he thinks she is a sex-crazed flake? AU-AH, M for nudity, language, lemons. Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 139,995 - Reviews: 4218 - Favs: 4,067 - Follows: 4,642 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Playing Mommy by MoonlitStares-03 reviews
Bella's having zero luck in job-hunting. But when little Renesmee mistakes her for being her long-lost mommy, her daddy Edward Cullen offers Bella money to pretend for a month. In this situation, can Bella act both mommy and wife?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 22,341 - Reviews: 508 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 11/18/2010 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Bella, Edward
My Little Secret by Black.Sweatshirt.And.Music reviews
As soon as Bella lays her eyes on Rosalie, she knows something has happened. What though, she doesn't know. They each have their own secrets that can either make or break them. RosaliexBella. Bella POV throughout. Very OOC and AH. M for later chapters R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,153 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 11/12/2010 - Published: 11/11/2010 - Bella, Rosalie
The King's Mistress by 2carm2carm2 reviews
In the age where men ruled the world, women were pawns in the vast game of chess that was the royal court. An intriguing and captivating tale of love, betrayal, lust and sex. "For, behold, the winter is past. The rain is over and gone."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 43 - Words: 124,988 - Reviews: 2216 - Favs: 2,223 - Follows: 961 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tease Me by kymclark reviews
PWP O/S Bella and Edward are getting married. When alice and Rose whisk Bella away for a Bachelorette party, the two torqued-up lovers have other things on their brains. Total smut,kinky fun. AH, Canon Prs, Mfor LEMONS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,877 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Good with The Bad by chartwilightmom reviews
Sequel to The Good & The Bad. Follow Bella & Edward as they mend their relationship &start their new lives in LA. Old friends & new enemies make life more interesting. With Twilight Records blossoming, Bella &Edward find their niche in the music industry.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 60,111 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 365 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 11/5/2010 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Senator's Son by amoredjenaue reviews
"I turned around slowly, my body already alight with fire. Standing there was a bronze-haired, green-eyed God. My Adonis. The star of my dreams for the last two months. Edward. Edward Cullen." A Senator's Son. A perfect match. But not for everyone...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 300,189 - Reviews: 1750 - Favs: 2,227 - Follows: 756 - Updated: 10/10/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
TheMissingChronicle:TheLion,The Witch&HisLioness by BringOnTheShackles reviews
Bella is captured and sold as a slave to Edward. She hates him, she doesn't love him, she doesn't even know his second name. But is there more to Bella than meets the eye? After all Bella is only short for Isabella. Isabella Swan. Lemons;Etc
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 97,788 - Reviews: 2208 - Favs: 1,338 - Follows: 967 - Updated: 9/14/2010 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dance with Me by tinaababy reviews
A major league baseball player with a bad rep needs to clean his image. He signs on to do a reality dance show. Will he clean his image and have the right kind of chemistry with his partner? AU & AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 115,096 - Reviews: 632 - Favs: 957 - Follows: 590 - Updated: 9/14/2010 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
That's What She Said! by Kaiaa reviews
A simple joke led to a school year of love, laughter, and... inappropriate behavior. Ah well. That's what you get when you put six 8th graders together at Forks Middle School! ALL HUMAN. B/E, R/Em, A/J.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,476 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bad Fauxmance by stella luna sky reviews
Typical formula: boy meets girl. Boy befriends girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl has no idea. Boy is afraid to tell her, because Boy - me, Edward Cullen - has been pretending to be gay to keep Girl's man-hating self in his life. AH/M. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 40,411 - Reviews: 4126 - Favs: 3,411 - Follows: 2,389 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Complete
For the Summer by camoozle reviews
Every year Bella waits for the 'Pay Checks' to roll into her sleepy river town and every year Edward's hers, just for the summer. AH, AU, OOC, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 176,780 - Reviews: 8737 - Favs: 7,244 - Follows: 3,823 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
So The Runner Fell In Love With The Surfer by chartwilightmom reviews
One Shot Entry for Life After Twilight's Summer Lovin Contest. Surfer Bella and runner Edward meet on the beach one morning. AU/AH, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,274 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 33 - Published: 8/13/2010 - Bella, Edward
Beautiful Nightmare by VenomInMyBlood reviews
After what happened, I never spoke again. People thought I was mute, no longer communicating with the world. The world that scarred me, breeding the evil that made me unpure. But that didn't stop him from talking to me. He would talk, I would listen. BxE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,968 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Game, Set, Match by MandyLeigh87 reviews
Bella is hired as a photographer to do a photo feature on the cocky, playboy tennis pro Edward Cullen. Bella is determined to resist his charms, but Edward can't seem to leave her alone. Does love really mean nothing in tennis? Slightly OOC, AH. Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 168,417 - Reviews: 3694 - Favs: 3,361 - Follows: 1,456 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Chasing Victory by mpg reviews
Edward is a foul-mouthed, screw-up V8 race-car driver whose career has started to race down the toilet. Bella Swan was left behind when he left to chase his dreams. Both are trying to piece together their lives. E&B/AH/AU/OOC/Lemons/Language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 179,076 - Reviews: 2409 - Favs: 1,179 - Follows: 606 - Updated: 8/2/2010 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Looking For Love by safariwriter reviews
Our Bachelor- Edward Cullen... He has the lucky job of meeting and going out with ten women, eliminating one each week, until he finds the love he's been looking for! Join us every week as we watch Edward get to know all of these lovely ladies...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 102,031 - Reviews: 401 - Favs: 600 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 7/28/2010 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
What Happens In Vegas by shasta53 reviews
When Alice and Jasper choose to have their bachelor and bachlorette parties on the same weekend in Las Vegas, chaos ensues and the crew finds out that What Happens In Vegas does not stay in Vegas. All canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 41 - Words: 245,815 - Reviews: 1336 - Favs: 1,356 - Follows: 593 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bag Boy by Lovin In The Oven Contest reviews
Twentysomething hairdresser Bella Swan just can't seem to get a date. What happens when she starts ogling the teenage bag boy at the local Thriftway? Is it desperation, or fate? Humor/lemons/icecream. o/s
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,663 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 24 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Reciprocity by queenyuks reviews
Bella goes over to Alice's house for the summer, and falls in love with Edward, her father. Sexy Daddy Doctorward meets Virginella. Language x Lemons. Oneshot. Written for the Secrets and Lies Contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,496 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 7/21/2010 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Major Misconduct by m7707 reviews
Edward Cullen - hot high school hockey player. Bella Swan - shy high school student. They've admired each other from afar, so what happens when they finally meet? Will they be strong enough to handle a threat from his past? No good deed goes unpunished...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 160,515 - Reviews: 4845 - Favs: 5,540 - Follows: 2,458 - Updated: 7/17/2010 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Diary of A Fangirl by MyEdiction reviews
Bella has a secret. A shameful, hideous, horrible secret. She has a crush on actor Edward Cullen, a fan girl crush. What happens when she decides to go to London for the summer? OOC, Robward, potty mouths, and sexual situations. You have been warned.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 39,899 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 7/14/2010 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Bella, Edward
Company Loves Misery by AngstGoddess003 reviews
AH-Edward, current recovering alcoholic, former bully of Bella Swan, must make amends to the one person who refuses to give them. Written for FGB Auction/WA Rehab. Adult Situations. Updated Wed/Sun.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 76,843 - Reviews: 6162 - Favs: 5,288 - Follows: 5,329 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Edward, Bella
The List by Jayeliwood reviews
Bella is 30 but where has her life really taken her?She's got a job,but no real life.No lover,no kids,nothing.Feelin lost & alone on her 30th bday she writes a list of things she's never done before but has always wanted to.Maybe life really begins at 30?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 184,669 - Reviews: 7560 - Favs: 3,343 - Follows: 1,572 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ms Swan's Detention by alphadork reviews
This is a story of three lovely ladies, living all on their own. AH-AU, one-shot, pink lemonade. B/R/A
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,039 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 39 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
The Screamers by KiyaRaven reviews
Street kid. Rockstar. Worlds apart and yet so similar. Sometimes fate throws people together for a reason, and sometimes two people that rub each other the wrong way make the best sparks. All Human **WARNING: MOSTLY HUMOR BUT ALSO CONTAINS ANGST & DARK THEMES**
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 358,773 - Reviews: 12412 - Favs: 6,872 - Follows: 3,414 - Updated: 6/2/2010 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Code of Conduct by MandyLeigh87 reviews
Disciplined Edward is hired as a bodyguard for Bella, a rebellious teen who is the police commssioner's daughter. Their relationship develops to something they don't expect, revealing inner demons for both. Rated M for language, drug use, and adult things
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 247,569 - Reviews: 4747 - Favs: 3,638 - Follows: 1,502 - Updated: 5/31/2010 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Anonymous Meetings by rbsschess reviews
For Twi-Girl Revolution's Under Her Thumb Challenge-Edward needs a Domme but has trouble submitting and is labeled a troublemaker. At the club's anonymous play night will he find what he needs? With no information on the new Domme can he find her again?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,247 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 105 - Published: 5/19/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Better in Time by littlemisschirp reviews
The sequel to 'A boy Unlike the Rest'. Bella's engaged; Edward's dating a male underware model in London; Jacob's on probation; Rosalie falls in love with...CHARLIE? Truly this will be a sequel unlike the rest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 59,440 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 5/19/2010 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
Matching Luggage by profmom72 reviews
They say it's better to have loved and lost. Sometimes, that love can be found again. Edward and Bella both regret their break up seven years ago, but reconciliation is not without challenge. AH E/B O/S.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,012 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 39 - Published: 5/3/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
My SisterInLaw by AdeeLo reviews
Entry for "Forbidden Lemon" Contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,616 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 43 - Published: 4/16/2010 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
Made with Love by aTREEtoaFOREST reviews
Bella is 24 and a pastry maker at a popular bakery. Although she is content with her life, she is looking for love. She meets her boss's son and sparks fly. This is the story of their courtship. All-Human, a little OOC. My first fan-fic
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 41,051 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 4/13/2010 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Naughty Secrets by A Little Distracted reviews
Bella is a school librarian leading a naughty secret life. Edward is a history teacher with a naughty obsession. If he could only see what is right in front of his face... AU/AH - Rated M for Hot LEMONS! Each chapter alternates POV's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 146,129 - Reviews: 2304 - Favs: 2,022 - Follows: 1,339 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
Waiting Always Waiting by jennlynnfs reviews
Bella's home from college for the summer. Her step brother Seth and his friends hang out at their house. Bella is reluctant to take part in their high school antics, but discover it's not so bad especially with Edward Cullen around.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,379 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 746 - Follows: 183 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
New Moon Tavern by edwardandbellabelong2gether reviews
Formerly What Happens in Vegas..Edward and Bella have one wild night together. But is Edward ready to give up his playing ways? What happens when he's cut off from his family and forced to work at the bar owned by Bella's family? AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 118,109 - Reviews: 2896 - Favs: 1,468 - Follows: 900 - Updated: 4/1/2010 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fun in the Tub by homeslice-of-a-homegirl reviews
Rose took a deep breathe and stepped into the tub. “I can smell you Bella.”
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,763 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
Meant to Be Broken by staceygirl aka jackbauer reviews
Bella makes a New Year's resolution not to date any more athletes after getting burned by her football-playing ex, but Edward the quarterback might just make her throw her resolution out the window. AH ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,206 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 460 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 3/21/2010 - Published: 3/4/2010 - Complete
Visiting Ms Swan by ericastwilight reviews
Edward's son has a new teacher, one that he'd love to get to know better. Gift for Quietruby.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,550 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 565 - Follows: 147 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Alphabet Weekends by the-glory-days reviews
Bored with their dismal love lives, best friends Edward and Bella come up with the idea of exploring the world of sex using the alphabet for the next twenty-six weekends. What happens when things go from two friends having fun to something serious? AH OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 124,991 - Reviews: 11375 - Favs: 10,769 - Follows: 5,710 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Controlled Burn by staceygirl aka jackbauer reviews
Summary: Bella has always joked about marrying Alice’s much younger brother so she could be a part of her best friend’s family, but now he’s all grown up and hot. Bella tries to control the burn for him, but it quickly becomes a raging fire. ExB AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 124,722 - Reviews: 11221 - Favs: 4,396 - Follows: 2,127 - Updated: 2/25/2010 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Complete
In time by Amber 90210 reviews
“You’re such an asshole.” He looked at me cocking an eyebrow. “You treated the one true friend you had like trash in exchange for being the cool guy. You would never know who your real friends are." A/H Normal Bella and famous Edward stuck in a elevator.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 43,283 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 403 - Follows: 286 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Friends or more? by i.am.panda reviews
AU: They are childhoodfriends and they are internet friends but they don't know it, now they have met each other and are slowly becoming friends, will they develop feeling for each other? Read to find out.....
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,780 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/25/2010 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Greatest Story Ever Told by jennaloohoo reviews
Will one song and dance be all it takes for the relationship to change between two friends.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,782 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/21/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hate's An Aphrodisiac by TwiHardVixens reviews
Edward and Bella have to work together to get back Alice's wedding dress after a mix up takes place and realize just how strong of a passion hate truly is. It's a thin line between love and hate, and for these two, that line is called lust. M for LEMONS.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,543 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 77 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sold, Sight Unseen by quothme reviews
The odds of him dialing her phone number are 3,720 to 1. Yet he does. Their chance conversation leads to something more. Something silly, then serious and a little scary. But in a good way. AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,130 - Reviews: 1495 - Favs: 2,830 - Follows: 547 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Promise by Amethyst Jackson reviews
Eclipse AU. Bella and Edward in the tent, before Jacob joins them. EPoV.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,641 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 523 - Follows: 106 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Mistress Esme punished Isabella by Saren Kol reviews
Isabella has been intentionally naughty so Mistress Esme will punish her. Rated M for a reason! AH, OOC, contains Bondage and Dicipline. ONE-SHOT
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,502 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Bella, Esme - Complete
A boy unlike the Rest by littlemisschirp reviews
Bella is a normal Forks highschool student until she falls madly in love with the new kid Edward Cullen who is gay. But Bella will do anything to make him love her.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 54 - Words: 92,678 - Reviews: 451 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 12/17/2009 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Real World: Jamaica by BlondeBrunett reviews
This is the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when people stop being polite... and start getting real. ExB, EmxR, JxA, JaxOC-love triangle between ExBxJa
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/4/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Emperors of Washington by gallantcorkscrews reviews
Edward is a killer. But it can't be explained away by his vampire nature. He's just a sociopathic, human teenager. CAN I MAKE A LOVE STORY OUT OF THIS? ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 36,778 - Reviews: 2532 - Favs: 1,793 - Follows: 1,044 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Christmas Surprise by dontrun reviews
When Edward takes his two kids to the Christmas tree lot he comes away with more than just a tree. Can a chance encounter lead to forever? AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,756 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 54 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Diving Headlong by EZRocksAngel reviews
Then he raised one eyebrow, shook his head, and sighed sympathetically, "Cockblocker Swan strikes again.” A collaboration between Ezrocksangel and Angstgoddess003 for the "When Love Was New contest". AH E/B Flangst
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,302 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 1,656 - Follows: 301 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Secrets Don't Keep Friends by KTBass reviews
AH. Everyone has secrets, and Bella Swan is no different. For months she's kept quiet, but the arrival of blunt Edward Cullen forces her to come clean with terrifying consequences. Secrets push friends away, but can honesty bring them back? Complete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 87,111 - Reviews: 1382 - Favs: 1,411 - Follows: 762 - Updated: 10/29/2009 - Published: 1/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Type O Negative by quothme reviews
When the Cullens move to Forks, Bella thinks that the creepy new kid, Edward, has freaky yellow eyes. And that he's insufferably rude. Good thing he's in love with someone else. An AU dark comedy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,164 - Reviews: 1245 - Favs: 1,540 - Follows: 409 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
A Faire To Remember by fluppy reviews
Complete! Edward and Bella romance. Bella Swan is dragged back to a time of knights and ladies, and a chauvanistic Edward Cullen. Can she pierce the armour around his heart even as things spiral violently out of control? Lemon's 21, 23 and 26!AU AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 37 - Words: 87,089 - Reviews: 691 - Favs: 644 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 10/5/2009 - Published: 5/19/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sexy Playgroup Dads by SuffocatingUnderWordsOfSorrow reviews
Bella's daughter makes a new friend in playgroup and they instantly become best friends. When Bella meets the new girl's father,sparks fly but will Bella embrace the relationship with the sexy, green eyed doctor? Of course she will he's gorgeous!ExB human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 55,028 - Reviews: 2913 - Favs: 3,284 - Follows: 1,064 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Best Feeling by PlasticineFan reviews
Best friends Edward, the quiet reliable friend and Bella, the confident partygirl have known each other for years. He picks up the pieces. She's blind to his feelings. One shot. E/B, AH AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,381 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 12 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Vice Versa by Amber 90210 reviews
Edward and Bella lived next door to each other their entire live's. They fight constantly about anything, untill one faithfull night they somehow swap body's. Now for the first time they have to work together to swap back before time runs out. All human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 74,260 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 9/17/2009 - Published: 5/27/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Girl Afraid by agoraphobiantic reviews
Edward moves to Forks with his father during his senior year, where he meets Bella Swan. Gorgeous, confident, and non-malicious hater extraordinaire. She hates Edward, and it's anyone's guess why.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 67,698 - Reviews: 577 - Favs: 959 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bad, Bad Girlfriend by ericastwilight reviews
A gift for Emerald-Rosalie, using her Bella and Edward from The Wicked Game. Edward bored at home is called away to tame his girlfriend Bella while she's out with her friends, little does he know, she's looking for trouble.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,063 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 68 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Extra Credit by Brain in the Gutter reviews
Bella will do anything in order to get ahead in school. How will Mr. Cullen take advantage of that? AU AH BxE Very little plot, lemon for the sake of lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,734 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 45 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Surprises by ali93 reviews
In high school Bella was a tomboy, played sports all the time, and hung out with Emmett, Jasper, and Edward. Edward did something to Bella, and she moved away. Now Bella is a girly photographer in college. What happens if they meet again? All human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,994 - Reviews: 638 - Favs: 453 - Follows: 488 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Edward, Bella
Taking a Ride by AndYouLoveHer reviews
Bella works at an amusement park, Edward haunts her every fantasy. Upon meeting, they are forever attached. Ink, tats, and hot daddysexed out Carlisle.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,773 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Moving to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue by FirstWarmSummerBreeze reviews
A.H. Bella is German and lives in the most famous house in the world for six months. Suddenly she belongs to the rich and famous and hates her popular/player host brother Edward with a passion.What's the dark secret he is hiding? Caution Addictive! B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 152,988 - Reviews: 2071 - Favs: 1,300 - Follows: 471 - Updated: 7/8/2009 - Published: 6/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Best Friends Forever Or Not? by luv2beloved reviews
AU, AH, OC, OCC - GJWHF Sequel: Full Summary inside! The Girls are home and now it is time to test their love and friendship! Spans 20 years of friendship! Best Friends Forever - Or Not? Now Completed!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 32 - Words: 84,616 - Reviews: 1169 - Favs: 551 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 7/5/2009 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 8488 - Favs: 13,184 - Follows: 2,688 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
13 Reasons Why by ThePoisonOwl reviews
Bella is dead. Edward is not. It's been weeks since she died and now Edward finds a strange box on his front porch. It's filled with tapes. Better summary inside. Please Read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 11,278 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
One of the Guys by twilightluver001 reviews
Bella Swan had always been secretly in love with her best friend, Edward Masen. Will he ever stop seeing her as "one of the guys" from the gang? Won first place in the Epic T-Rated Contest. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,513 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 6/16/2009 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Havoc's Friday Evening by Croup reviews
Finding himself called into Mustang's office, Havoc is lectured on some discipline problems. But what the hell--the punishment is a spanking? UPDATE: Mustang isn't the only one blistering Havoc's tail.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,263 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Jean H., Roy M. - Complete
Consequences by Croup reviews
--In his home world, he hadn't been spanked since he was a child. Not even Princess Tomoyo would dare order something like this-- Kurogane gets a little discipline.
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,375 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Kurogane, Syaoran
Before He Cheats by ericastwilight reviews
Edward is talked into going his sister's club to meet up with an old high school friend. Instead, he follows an upset woman outside, who starts destroying someone's truck. That woman is none other than his first love, Bella Swan. Song inspired.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,363 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 585 - Follows: 131 - Published: 5/4/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Maria by ahemyywe150 reviews
All human! Bella is aspiring towards her dream job but when a family crisis hits her, she has to adapt. This means getting a job as a babysitter for a cute little kid. Except there's one little snag: the kid's brother, Edward Cullen. BxE R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 100,004 - Reviews: 3005 - Favs: 2,550 - Follows: 1,348 - Updated: 5/2/2009 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Complete
Emergency! by EJ Santry reviews
Bella is a student at the UW whose clumsy tendencies has landed her in an ER more than once. One fateful fall lands her into the eager hands of a hot attending ER doctor. Written for “Forbidden Love Affair” A Contest of Hidden Desires. BxE, AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,936 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 917 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 4/30/2009 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Once upon a time on a reality show by AITWAWTICEWNY reviews
When Edward is made to go on a reality show to find a girlfriend, Alice makes his bestfriend of 18 years, Bella, be an undercover contestant to help him. But is she of much help? Nope. Unless you consider making out with him constantly, helping of course.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 19 - Words: 92,211 - Reviews: 749 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 2/27/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008
Fire Emblem Spankings by Croup reviews
A collection of drabbles based on the GBA Fire Emblem game.
Fire Emblem - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 610 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Sain, Kent
Strip Poker, Spank Poker by Croup reviews
As two men alone on the Bebop for weeks at a time, Spike and Jet can get VERY bored. They have to entertain themselves somehow. Warnings for nudity and spanking.
Cowboy Bebop - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,943 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Spike S., Jet B. - Complete
Calls for Christmas by MyEdward797 reviews
Bella and Edward are a divorced couple. Tentative friends, they call each other every year on Christmas Eve and reminisce about the days when they were in love. Will they ever realize that they can’t live without each other? A Christmas Short Story
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,506 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 1/8/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
FarSpank by Croup reviews
D'argo gets hold of Crichton for some well-deserved Luxan discipline.
Farscape - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,687 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Complete
Major Bummer! by Croup
Grunge finally gets some well-deserved punishment for all his stupid behavior. A hard spanking over Lynch's lap!
Gen13 - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,361 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Complete
Explanations by whitereflections12 reviews
When Renesmee overhears an argument between Edward and Rosalie, she learns something her father never wanted her to know. Just some father/daughter Edward and Nessie. I can't find the right title...@.@
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,869 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 30 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
The Christmas list by Samtastic Sami reviews
What does Edward get from Bella for Christmas? Sorry, no lemon! Just Santa being a peepin' tom. so who goes on the naughty list? I dedicate this to all Christmas lovers, and because my b-day is already here! yay! enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,984 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
That Damn, Sexy Crooked Smile by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Bella, an old, married woman, remembers her first love, the man she would never forget. Heart-breaking, but a happy ending, or at least I think so. AU AH one-shot. Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,649 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 705 - Follows: 108 - Published: 11/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Last Dance by juhee89 reviews
Everybody is Human: Bella a regular teenager living in Forks volunteers at a hospital with her friend Jessica until a fateful meeting with a doctor asks her to save his son's life.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 28,806 - Reviews: 639 - Favs: 593 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 10/22/2008 - Published: 6/3/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
One To Grow On by Croup reviews
It's Naruto's birthday, and it seems like every guy in the village wants a piece of his ass . . . A sequel to 'Dog Years'. Warnings for spankings and sexual content. KibaNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,962 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Naruto U., Kiba I. - Complete
Toad Salves by Croup reviews
Naruto interrupts Jiraiya's "research" one too many times, and pays for it with his ass. Warning: spanking.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,923 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/9/2008 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Jiraiya, Naruto U.
Don't Take the Girl by ericastwilight reviews
Edward and Bella first met when they were eight years old, ten years later he asks for her hand in marriage. One shot/song inspired.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,602 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 89 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Playground Protector by HolliiiCruiser reviews
“You’re my very bestest friend, Edward, but you still can’t tell me what to do. Yes, I am going to jump! Yes, I am!” 8 year old's Edward and Bella have a recess arguement about Bella jumping off of a swing. Very short, sweet, and cute! AU.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 996 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Bella, Edward
Babysitting by runaway xo reviews
All Human! Bella is stuck babysitting the devil himself, when she notices a strange color in the corner of a sliding glass door. "It was a strange auburn color, almost brick-like, but not as dull." AU. B/E. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,606 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 62 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Deathbed by ICanReadYouLikeABook reviews
Twoshot. Bella and Edward are room mates lying in their deathbed during the 1918 Spanish Influenza, where they meet- and they begin to talk...even in the midst of death, people can fall in love. But will they survive the fever? BXE EPILOGUE NOW INCLUDED!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,830 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Edward Scissorhands by KelseyXDD reviews
One-shot. Edward was built by an inventor. But the inventor dies before giving Edward real hands. Now he moves in with the Swan family, and starts to fall in love with Bella. What happens when the town turns against him? ExB. All human. Based on the movie
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,664 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The lady Swan by Jayeliwood reviews
A prisoner is brought to the first mate of the ship to be watched, but is everything as it seems? Example in the Sexy Edward Contest. Lovely lemon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,159 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 503 - Follows: 99 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bad Boy by notsohardnow reviews
Johnny Vincent is over with Lola, and he's not taking it at all well. Johnny turns into a really bad boy and his best friend decides to take him in-hand. Contains: M/M spanking! JohnnyPeanut slash! R&R
Bully - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,311 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/14/2008 - Complete
When We Were Young by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Edward and Bella have been friends since they were toddlers. When they grow older, will their friendship become something more? Stories from when they were little, through teen and adult years. Modern day. T for later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 132,723 - Reviews: 5657 - Favs: 2,901 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward, my boyfriend? by Twilightfever reviews
OOC! Bella and Edward have been friends ever since they were six years old. What happens when Edward needs a fake girlfriend and Bella is his only choice? Will Bella find feelings she never had for Edward or will there relationship fall apart?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,428 - Reviews: 880 - Favs: 846 - Follows: 454 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward Cullen? Scared? by ForEverTopaz1901 reviews
Edward and Bella watch a scary movie at Charlie's house. Bella sure gets a kick out of Edward's reaction to a part in the movie. Who knew that it would start a war of pranks over at the Cullens! Enjoy! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,426 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 7/23/2008 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
My Best Friend, the Player by blackxout reviews
Bella Swan is used to seeing her best friend, Edward Masen hook up with a lot of girls. She never minds though. What if Edward starts having feelings for Bella? Will she fall head over heels too or will she just want to stay friends? Very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,394 - Reviews: 1735 - Favs: 1,538 - Follows: 555 - Updated: 7/13/2008 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Dog Years by Croup reviews
It's Kiba's birthday, and that can mean only one thing. Birthday spanking! KibaNaru style.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,693 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Kiba I., Naruto U. - Complete
Blush by Blush by Twilightholic-Tanya reviews
For my fans of Always Here this is Edward's POV. No need to Read Always Here if you haven't already. This is Edwards side as he meets the new girl in school and instantly feels an attraction but what happens to the girl he can't stop thinking about.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,475 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 6/27/2008 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Switzerland Sunshine by ronOReds reviews
Under the sun with Edward and Bella. A game for just the two of them. Outtake of 'Into The Wild.'
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,733 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 33 - Published: 5/3/2008 - Complete
Wolverine's Danger Room Workout by Croup reviews
Wolverine unwinds after a long day . . . by spanking the bare butts of his fellow X-Men. Angel, Iceman, Nightcrawler, Colossus, even Cyclops--will they all feel the sting?
X-Men - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,747 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Complete
Daddy Penalty Swats by Croup reviews
Ichigo finally loses a fight to his father. What's the penalty for losing? An embarrassing bare-bottom spanking, just like when he was a kid. Warnings for language, nudity, and sexuality. Mention of one-sided IchigoChad.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,274 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Ichigo K., Isshin K. - Complete
A rite of passage by caracol reviews
AU All Human. Bella and Edward are best friends. A story of self discovery and the loss of innocence. This story is about how two people deal with sex, love, trust, friendship all while growing up. Very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 35,392 - Reviews: 1158 - Favs: 2,917 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 3/13/2008 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Complete
I'm Not Falling For You by ronOReds reviews
Bella get's picked to be on a dating reality show! How will the guys show their love and who will be the last one standing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,235 - Reviews: 3242 - Favs: 2,521 - Follows: 703 - Updated: 2/7/2008 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
Six Hands, Six Buns by Croup reviews
Ah . . . crap . . . Is he really gonna spank us . . .?" Naruto asked, flushing in bare-assed humiliation. A 'what-if' version of the Kidoumaro fight. Warnings for language, spanking, and nudity.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,066 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Kidomaru, Naruto U. - Complete
I'll Do Your's If You Do Mine by Croup reviews
Kiba and Naruto help each other out preparing for a mission. Warnings for language, bodyshaving, and spanking. KibaNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,113 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Kiba I., Naruto U. - Complete
Hey There Bella by Annilaia reviews
Hey There Delilah, as a story. Bella moves to the city to live with her cousin, and Edward can't help but fall head over heels. Once they're together, it's nearly impossible for them to be apart, despite protests from his best friend. [Short Story]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 33,190 - Reviews: 442 - Favs: 581 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 11/5/2007 - Published: 9/23/2007 - Complete
Prove it! by Croup reviews
Who's better at taking a spanking? Naruto, or Sasuke?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,375 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/8/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Junior's Spanking and Caning by AnonymousJunior reviews
Junior is spanked and caned for a bad report card.
Read or Die - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 719 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12/14/2006 - Junior, Nancy M. - Complete
Sting by CSI Clue reviews
House gets spanked. Not gently, either.
House, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,257 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/4/2006 - G. House, L. Cuddy - Complete
The Promise of Forever by spikescrypt reviews
What if Bella really did die when she jumped off the cliff? What if the Volterra killed Edward? This is a story of two lovers who find each other again in a place called Heaven.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 24 - Published: 11/30/2006 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Anita's Spanking by AnonymousJunior reviews
Anita King is punished by Nenene for misbehaving.
Read or Die - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 498 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/30/2006 - Anita K., Nenene S. - Complete