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Joined 06-06-09, id: 1960096, Profile Updated: 05-13-12


EmmaOwl01 here, A bit about me; I'm from a small town in the East of England. My favourite thing to do is read! especially when is cold and wet outside and I'm snuggled under a blanket in the armchair with a good book and a nice warm mug of hot chocolate! I am currently studying A-Levels- IT, Media, Sociology and AP Science, so currently most of my free time is spent studying- or reading. Most of my friends also enjoy reading a good fanfic every now and then, they can be found under my favourite authors (although not all of them like to write), along with some other brilliant authors from the wonderful world of fanfiction!



Some Weird and Wonderful things.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

1. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

2. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

3. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

4. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

5. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

6. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

7. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

8. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other us

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.(Too late! you lose!)

11. On a bar of soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

12. On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

16. On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

19. On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

21. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

Friend VS Best Friend:

A friend wants the money back that they loaned you last week. Best friends can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will ask why your crying. A best friend will already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

A friend always gives your stuff back when they borrow it. Best friends lose your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away

A friend will help me up when I fall down. A best friend will point and laugh because she tripped me

A friend will bail me out of jail. A best friend will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up".

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me

A friend never ask for food and call your parents Mr. and Mrs. and grandpa, grandpa, best friends are the reason you never have any food and call your parents MOM and DAD and grandpa GRAMPS!!

A friend asks me for my number. A best friend asks me for her number

A friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

A friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - dammit - run!"

A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A friend will be there to take your drink away when they think you’re had enough. Best friends will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

Friends fade. Best Friends are 4 Ever.

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Time to Come Home by LithMuffin reviews
This is a short little story about Bella and Edward. She lost her father to the army, she nearly lost her brother to the army, she was not going to lose her husband and the father to their soon-to-be-born child to the army. There's love, fluff, giggles and a few happy tears.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,583 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 3/10/2014 - Published: 6/24/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sugar Cookies by Emmamama88 reviews
Opposites attract, and sometimes crash into each other, literally. Come along and experience a little 'Christmas magic' with our favorite couple. Originally a holiday One-shot...now extended. All-human, cause that's all I write.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 52,198 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 640 - Follows: 485 - Updated: 10/22/2013 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Doorstep Bundle by mersedez2001 reviews
Edward the perpetual bachelor, was loving his single life until one day a child he didn't know he had, was left on his door step.Sexward is now being forced to be a stay at home dadward.Better summery inside! A/H, cannon pairing.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 120,485 - Reviews: 1730 - Favs: 2,122 - Follows: 1,298 - Updated: 8/29/2012 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete