Artemis zodiac
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Joined 06-11-09, id: 1965998, Profile Updated: 03-20-15
Author has written 2 stories for ThunderCats.

This is the zodiac speaking

Just kidding. I did not get that part of my user name from that guy but from my love of stars. This also lead to the other part Artemis greek goddess of the moon and stars among other things i.e. hunting.

I come from the top of the world (In my opinion the world map is upside down, the south should be at the top) from the beautiful country of New Zealand.

I am a big fan of anything Si-fi, fantasy, adventure and action.

Funny reasons to be blocked

I myself use the blocking function when someone 'continually' insults me, after I've told them to stop, threatened or anything else that one would consider harassment. Oddly not everyone shears this and I have been blocked for reasons that I would never even think off.

  • Warning someone that they're breaking the rules: I never understood this, whats the point. I've warned you, unless you respond to me there is no reason for me to contact you again. Strangely I often notice this because I get a reply, only to find my self blocked, which of course means I can't read your reply (didn't think that through did you.)
  • Offering constructive criticism: Ever thought of, you know, asking me not to. All you have to say is 'I don't appreciate your criticism' and I'll stop. I mean seriously, why would I help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.
  • Responding to accusation: I always love these. Someone accuses me of something, I give a very detailed and blunt reply as to why thats not the case (unless of course I'm being accused of being detailed or blunt) and rather than reply with an acceptance that they were incorrect, or a confer-argyment as to why, it is fact, the case, they simply block me. I know that such people are simply cowards but seriously what were they expecting, me to just accept their accusations? I mean come on, you accused me of something, have the guts to stand by it.
  • By the way...

    If your planning to block me

    ...please note what blocking will/and will not stop me from doing before you do so, it might save you sometime.

    Blocking will not prevent me from

  • Reporting you. (So if this is the main reason, don't waste your time)
  • Following you
  • Reading your story
  • Favoriting you
  • Following your story
  • Following you
  • Looking at your profile
  • Adding your story to a community that I run
  • Blocking will prevent me from

  • Reviewing
  • PMing (Do note this one, it will also stop me from SEEING the PMs that you sent to me and visa versa. So if you've sent me a reply don't then block me, it defeats the purpose of replying as I can't read it.)
  • In short the report function is design to prevent written harassment, it won't stop me from reporting your story if you have broken the rules. Block me if you wish, but please don't do it right after replying to me, at least let me read your argument first.

    Am I bully?

    I have more than one or twice encountered people who have called me this, in fact I've decided to give this some thought in response to an author questioning if I was or not.

    I was, at one time, a member of the group Critics United, my leaving was due to leaving fan fiction for a bit and nothing more. Below, in my profile, I also attack, and pick apart, common memes or myths that flow on the internet. These things are the major aspect that gets me accused of bullying, so the question is, is it bullying.

    Just so it is known, I am no stranger to bullying. For most of my late primary school and high school I was subjected to it due to being asperges, and this bullying was made even worse by being at a small boarding school. There was no were to hide and no way to get away (at lest as far as a young bully victim could see.) Due to getting through that I was often the one that many of the 'different' people at my school came to for guidance. So, I know what bullying is, but more importantly I have also learn what its not.

    My work with Critics United was done as my way of giving back to the site (and community) that had helped me improve my writing to the point that it is unrecognizable. I still remember the first person to give my advice 'space things out' they said 'its very hard to read'. I was still in my 'bullied' stage at the time but I didn't take this as bullying. While my bullies did what they did with the intent of 'annoying me' 'putting me down' etc, this person was trying to help me. So I accepted it, and my writing improved.

    Many years past and I ran I to Critics United, like most people I'd heard the stories. However unlike most, rather than join the crowed, I did my own research, and found the stories to be incorrect. Critics United and my self wanted to help others, be it by helping them improve their writing or by warning them that their story could be deleted. (After all the rules were there for a reason and the Admins would not warn them.)

    So there is a clear difference between what I did during my time there and bullying. One was aimed at helping, the other, aimed at putting down. The vast majority of people I got replies from were grateful, positive, thankful (just as I was at my own critic). However, there were a few that didn't take so kindly.

    Sadly my studies as an engineering student began to take their toll and I could no longer come to fan fiction as often, forcing me to leave Critics United. I still gave help when I came here however my mind was turn to a more interesting taste. Memes and Myths. We have all seen them and all asked ourselves, are they correct. Well my researcher mind set to work and I began to take them apart. I did this as any scientist, engineer, thinker would there was a point being made and the best way to see how strong a point was, was to try tearing it down. I think it was more for the mental exercise than anything else sadly not everyone was please or indifferent to my actions.

    Someone called me a bully for it, and that is why we're here wondering if its bullying or not. Well, if we again contrast it with other bullying we again see thats intent was not that of a bully, its intent was to educate. Of course many bullies intent what they do as a joke so although intention might make it less bad, it doesn't necessarily stop it being bullying. I thought about it and remembered something, the bullying I've always seen be it open or subtle, a joke gone to far or with the intention of pain, it was always directed at the victim(s). This wasn't, this was posted on my profile to no one in particular. As it lacked both the intention of harm or victim it can hardly be bullying.

    Of course this doesn't stop people from being hurt or offended by it. However if we to base or actions on not offending anyone one, we couldn't do anything. After all there are those that find it rude for you to finish your dinner (as it makes the host fell they didn't cook enough) and those that find it rude if you don't (as it makes the host fell you didn't like the meal.) I myself find it offensive if someone sits on a table, others find it offensive if people just stand. While we should try to act in ways the don't often a person we are engaging, people we like, what do we do about respecting everyone out there?

  • Well, we accept that their will be those that take offense no matter what we do, we explain that we meant no offense, but we shouldn't change our ways just to suit them. Likewise they shouldn't be required to do so for us. When we interact with a person personally we should change our behavior, we chose to interact with them, but otherwise, if their just some random person...well you can't please all the random people. As my father also told me 'the world does not revolve around you."
  • Accept that random people in life will act in ways that you find offensive, rude etc. Understand they don't do so with the intent of being rude or offensive, they were bought up differently (no better or worse). This of course applies to beliefs etc, that have no factual grounding. Take my sitting on tables for instance, I was bought up to see it as dirty, tables are where food it prepared and thus unclean parts of the body don't belong there. I understand that it is illogical to apply this to desks etc that have no link to food preparation. However I still get offended by it, but what I don't do is demand that everyone stand, just so I'll no longer be offended.
  • Stop people when they cross their behavior in to your person space (your home etc,) that is your place your behaviors should be respected there. If they can't do so, don't be afraid to ask them to leave that is your space.
  • Research and understand any behaviors that might offend a person you plan to engage, more so understand why the belief is help, why they perceive the world that way and remember, their perception is no better or worse than yours.
  • Do note the above only applies to situation where behavior/actions cause nothing other than offense. Such as sitting on tables for me, although I may see it as rude and offensive, it does not cause any actual harm.

    So am I a bully?

    I may have offended people, I may have been critical of people. However I have always done so with the best of intentions and if the offense comes from my interacting with a specific person, I apologies. I hold myself the same standard as expect of others, I don't consider people who sit on tables, all the time, in front of me bullies and so why would I consider myself a bully when the position is reversed.

    Am I a bully?

    No I'm not.

    You think so if you wish and I'll respect it. But come at me accusing me of it, expect a long, critical reply.

    My Fav Characters for things are as follows

    Doctor Who The Docter, Captain Jack, Rose.

    Torchwood Cap Jack, Tosh, Owen.

    Harry Potter Harry, Ginny

    Star Wars Ahsoka, Anakin, Mace Windu

    Push Cassie, Nic

    X-men Jubilee, Page, Skin, Professer X

    Heroes Peter, Samuel, Molly

    ‘E rere kau mai te awanui, mai te kahui maunga ki Tangaroa, Ko au te awa, ko te awa ko au’ One of my favorite maori sayings in english it means

    ‘The great river flows from the mountains to the sea, I am the river, the river is me.’

    more Quotes

    Dear bullies,

    See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.

    Re-Post this if you are against bullying.

    If you hate sterotypes copy this onto your profile

    I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
    I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
    I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
    I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
    I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
    I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
    I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
    I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
    I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
    I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
    I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
    I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
    I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
    I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
    I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
    I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
    I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
    I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
    I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
    I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
    I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
    I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
    I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
    I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
    I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.
    I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
    I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
    I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
    I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
    I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
    I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
    I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
    I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
    I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
    I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
    I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
    I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
    I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
    I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
    I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
    I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
    I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
    I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
    I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
    I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
    I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
    I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
    I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
    I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
    I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
    I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
    I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
    I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
    I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
    I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
    I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
    I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
    I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
    I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
    Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
    Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
    Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
    I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
    I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
    I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
    I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
    I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
    I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
    I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
    I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
    I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
    I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
    I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
    I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
    I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
    I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
    I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
    I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
    I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
    I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
    I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
    I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
    I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
    I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
    I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
    I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
    I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
    I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
    I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
    I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
    I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
    I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
    I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
    I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
    I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
    I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
    I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
    I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
    I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
    My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
    I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
    I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
    I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
    I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
    I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
    I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
    I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
    I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
    I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
    I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
    I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
    I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
    I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
    I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
    I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
    I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
    I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
    I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
    I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
    I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
    I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
    I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
    I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
    I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
    I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
    I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
    I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
    I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
    I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
    I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
    I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
    I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
    I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
    I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
    I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
    I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
    I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
    I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
    I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
    I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
    I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
    I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
    I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
    I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
    I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
    I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
    I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pendantic bastard.
    I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
    I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
    I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

    I'm a New Zealander so i MUST be an Australian

    I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
    I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
    I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
    I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
    I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
    I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
    I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
    I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
    I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
    I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
    I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
    I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

    I'm a New Zealander so i MUST shag sheep


    Relent, sweet Hermia—And, Lysander, yield

    Thy crazèd title to my certain right.


    You have her father’s love, Demetrius.

    Let me have Hermia’s. Do you marry him


    The kinder we, to give them thanks for nothing.

    Our sport shall be to take what they mistake.

    And what poor duty cannot do, noble respect

    Takes it in might, not merit.

    Where I have come, great clerks have purposèd

    To greet me with premeditated welcomes,

    Where I have seen them shiver and look pale,

    Make periods in the midst of sentences,

    Throttle their practiced accent in their fears,

    And in conclusion dumbly have broke off,

    Not paying me a welcome. Trust me, sweet,

    Out of this silence yet I picked a welcome,

    And in the modesty of fearful duty

    I read as much as from the rattling tongue

    Of saucy and audacious eloquence.

    Love, therefore, and tongue-tied simplicity

    In least speak most, to my capacity.

    Dear Americans

    (I hope nobody really gets offended by this, it's all just for fun)

    To the citizens of the United States of America...

    In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. (Except Utah, which she does not fancy.) Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee'). You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

    2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.

    3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

    4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

    5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

    6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

    7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "Shit". You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

    8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

    9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

    10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

    11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

    12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".

    The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnats' Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnats' Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

    13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

    14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

    15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

    Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

    An alleged scientific discovery has no merit unless it can be explained to a barmaid.

    If A is success in life, then A = x y z. Work is x, play is y and z is keeping your mouth shut.

    Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

    Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler

    Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.

    I do not know how the Third World War will be fought, but I can tell you what they will use in the Fourth—rocks!

    The important thing is not to stop questioning; curiosity has its own reason for existing.

    One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done.

    Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.

    All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child.

    I am among those who think that science has great beauty.

    Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood

    I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy.

    I am one of those who think like Nobel, that humanity will draw more good than evil from new discoveries.

    I'm going to point out everything wrong with this

    A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students: "Let me explain the problem science has with religion."

    The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. (Wait is he a science or philosophy professor, the two are quite different)

    "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

    "Yes, sir," the student says.

    "So you believe in God?"


    "Is God good?"

    "Sure! God's good."

    "Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"


    Now the professor asks, "Are you good or evil?"

    "The Bible says I'm evil," replies the student.

    The professor grins knowingly.

    "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

    "Yes, sir, I would."

    "So you're good…!"

    "I wouldn't say that."

    "But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

    The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?" (Okay while I do believe in a friendly talk of logic, this guy is just being a dick)

    The student remains silent.

    "No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

    "Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

    "Er… yes," the student says.

    "Is Satan good?"

    The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

    "Then where does Satan come from?"

    The student falters. "From God," he answers after a few moments.

    "That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

    "Yes, sir."

    "Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"


    "So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

    Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

    The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

    "So who created them?"

    The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

    The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

    The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

    "No, sir. I've never seen Him."

    "Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

    "No, sir, I have not."

    "Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

    "No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

    "Yet you still believe in him?"


    "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?" (Science does not state the God doesn't exist, it just doesn't state that God does, or has to, exist)

    "Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

    "Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

    The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

    "Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

    "And is there such a thing as cold?"

    "Yes, son, there's cold too."

    "No, sir, there isn't."

    The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest, minus 458 degrees.

    "Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it." (While I commend the student for the argument, the Professor doesn't state what he means by cold, he could be referring to an absence of heat, or the direction and rate of heat transferal which makes something feel cold. Cold its self can be defined as the absence of heat because when we remove heat we get what the student said.)

    Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

    "What about darkness, professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?"

    "Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

    "You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.

    "In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?" (See above, we can define darkness as the absence of light because, when we remove light this is what we get)

    The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

    "Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

    The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

    "You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

    "Sir, science can't explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. (Meanwhile back in reality scans of the brain have shown the difference and locations of brain activity between a thinking and non thinking mind)

    "Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

    "If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do." (This professor clearly doesn't know evolution. We didn't come from monkeys, a common ancestor yes but not monkeys)

    "Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

    The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

    "Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?" (Evolution has been observed multiple times, from the change in colour of peppered moths in England (showing natural selection) during the industrial revolution to the development by E. coli to grow in citrate in the E.coli long-term evolution experiment (showing beneficial mutations happening naturally). In addition, there is the fossil recorded, DNA etc. Yes thats right, observation of evolution doesn't require observing the process, observing the effect works just as well. Finally the professor is not teaching his opinion but the findings of the scientific community, findings that we can trust, after all they made that device you're currently using)

    The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

    "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

    The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

    "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir." (No no no no. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Just because you can't see something in the moment doesn't mean it can't be observed. You make a hypothesis i.e. the professor has a brain. You then preform an experiment e.g. surgery with cutting upon the skull or perhaps a brain scan, and note from your hypothesis what result would confirm it and which will prove it wrong. You can take this further can state all humans that function in every day society have a brain as every human that function in every day society that we have so far tested also has a brain. You can't say the professor has a brain for sure, but science has never been about 'sure'. Rather is is about our best model of reality and thus far that states that all humans that function in every day society have a brain and as the professor functions in every day society he therefore 'to the best of our understanding' has a brain)

    "So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?" (Science doesn't say this, anymore than it says there's no God)

    Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

    Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith." (Or you could preform a brain scan etc. By the way, now i've shown how i'ld provide evidence for or against having a brain, could you how you'd provide evidence for or against the existence of god?)

    "Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

    Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

    To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light." (Assuming that God exists, this is flawed. Remember before I showed that when we remove all heat we get cold, or that when we remove all light we get darkness. Lets look at the surface of the moon or mars, no good there and yet it isn't evil. On the other hand, if we're talking just about 'within man' then an absence of God MUST lead to evil, just as an absence of heat MUST lead to cold, why is it that I'm a good kind caring person, I would require God to be good and yet i don't. Therefore my existence its self refutes this.)

    The professor sat down.

    I found this the other day.

    Without God, our week would be:


    Seven days without God will make one weak.

    Its strange that God is being thanked for the names of the days of the week and even more stranger is, assuming that God exists, he would let us uses the normal names because

    Sunday comes from old English Sunnanday (meaning Sun's day)

    Monday comes from old English Monanday (meaning Moon's day)

    Tuesday comes from old English Twiesday (meaning Twi's day). Twi was the the old english form of the Norse God Tyr. God of war and law.

    Wednesday comes from old English Wodnesday, (meaning day of Wodanaz) Wodanaz was the old english form of the Norse god Odin

    Thursday comes from old English Punresday (meaning Thunor's day). This comes from the Norse Thor's day. Thor was the god of thunder.

    Friday comes from old English Frigeday (meaning Figg's day) Figg is a Norse god and wife of Odin.

    Saturday comes from old English Saternes day (meaning Saturn's day). Saturn was a roman god.

    So, what gods, if any would have to not exist to change the days of the week? More than that, if he exists, why does god continue to let his children parse the Norse gods every time the say the days name and how does he react to being given credit for it?

    While i am personally believe abortion should be strongly advised against, and only used when there is no other option, i do feel that it is my duty as a man of research and science to point out everything wrong with this. However I'll also point out the stuff thats right.

    Month One
    I am only 2 inches long (In reality at this point a fetus is about .25 inches)
    but I have all my organs. (The organs have begun to develop, that doesn't mean you have them)
    I love the sound of your voice.
    Every time I hear it (Ears don't begin development till month 2)
    I wave my arms and legs. (A fetus wont even begin to grow these till month 2)
    The sound of your heart beat
    is my favorite lullaby.

    Month Two
    today I learned how to suck my thumb. (Which only develops at the end of the month, however the bones hardness required doesn't occur until month 4)
    If you could see me
    you could definitely tell that I am a baby. (Debatable, but i can see it)
    I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
    It is so nice and warm in here.

    Month Three
    You know what Mommy
    I'm a boy! (The sexual organs do develop in month 3)
    I hope that makes you happy.
    I always want you to be happy.
    I don't like it when you cry.
    You sound so sad.
    It makes me sad too
    and I cry with you even though
    you can't hear me.

    Month Four
    my hair is starting to grow. (Hair does grow in month 4)
    It is very short and fine
    but I will have a lot of it.
    I spend a lot of my time exercising.
    I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes (As mentioned, bond density reaches the point to make this possible in this month)
    and stretch my arms and legs.
    I am becoming quite good at it too.

    Month Five
    You went to the doctor today.
    Mommy, he lied to you.
    He said that I'm not a baby.
    I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
    I think and feel. (the nervous system develops back in month four)
    Mommy, what's abortion?

    Month Six (A 24 week abortion is only allowed, in the US, if there are health complications. Most are preformed back in months 1, 2, 3 and 4)
    I can hear that doctor again.
    I don't like him.
    He seems cold and heartless.
    Something is intruding my home.
    The doctor called it a needle.
    Mommy what is it? It burns!
    Please make him stop!
    I can't get away from it!
    Mommy! HELP me!

    Month Seven
    I am okay.
    I am in Jesus's arms.
    He is holding me.
    He told me about abortion.
    Why didn't you want me Mommy?

    Whatever your views are on abortion, please try to ensure that you get the facts straight. If your view is justified then it will hold and if the facts refute it, then should you not change your view?

    Another mis-informed meme

    (READ THIS!)

    Teacher: Can you see God ?

    Class: No.

    Teacher: Can you touch God ?

    Class: No.

    Teacher: Then, there isn't a God. (This doesn't follow, it just concludes that there is no evidence for God)

    *A student raises his hand and says*

    Student: Sir, can you see your brain ? (Yes with a brain scan etc)

    Teacher: No.

    Student: Can you touch your brain ? (Yes every time I have a headache)

    Teacher: No.

    Student: Oh okay, so you don't have a brain ?

    Me: I think therefore I am and have you ever heard of a brain scan?

    Post this on your profile if you can see how this fails.

    Tearful Children by candycanelila reviews
    Jack is terrified. He killed a child. Afraid, he hides from the Guardians. Then, Steve Rogers shows up, takes him to Stark Tower because he's sick, Hulk and an assassin join them, Tony throws a party, the Guardians arrive, Pitch is back and getting stronger, Jack's arm might have to be amputated, Fury tries to kill Jack, Loki and Thor say hi and Jack's life is crazy. More inside!
    Crossover - Avengers & Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,211 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 5/8/2015 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Captain America/Steve R., Jack Frost
    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Slaves of the royal house reviews
    2011: Living as pickpockets in the slums, Wilykat and Kit one day rob prince Lion-o during one of his many 'walks'. Arrested and tried the two are sentence to paw amputation before Lion-o convinces his father to show mercy. Now enslaved to Lion-o the two must learn to handle life in the royal court which in many ways is more deadly than the slums they left behind
    ThunderCats - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,389 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/18/2014 - Published: 10/26/2013 - Lion-O, WilyKat, WilyKit, Cheetara
    Finding El-Dara reviews
    Inspired by "The little match girl." Locked outside in a blizzard one night, two young homeless kittens try to stay warm while searching for the only thing that gives them hope
    ThunderCats - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,013 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/8/2013 - WilyKat, WilyKit - Complete