Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies and rum)
The sorting hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw!
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest."
Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable.
Take the most scientific Harry Potter
p>Your result for The Sorting Hat Test...SLYTHERIN!
You scored 48% Slytherin, 24% Ravenclaw, 20% Gryffindor, and 32% Hufflepuff!
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Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, These cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends.
You'll make your real friends,
These cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
Slytherins are known for their ambition, guile, and Machiavellian sensiblities.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
If you refuse to believe that the Harry Potter pairings revealed after the end of the series are true, copy and paste this into your profile.
!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
Have you ever noticed that when you put a mark between the E and the R in THERAPIST you get THE/RAPIST? If you have, copy this in your profile.
SEVERUS SNAPE IS GOOD! I STAND BY MY GREASY HAIRED POTIONS MASTER! POST THIS IN YOUR PROFILE AND SPREAD THE TRUTH!
Normal by it's own definition does not exist. If you believe this, copy and paste in your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that annoying Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into your profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, Emerald Bear, Kyprioths Shadow, Itzika, Karin Lee Mischal
92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
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123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again
Started by Amanda Lack (stars_planets_clocks), and added to by countless others
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'
14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful.
18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behavior chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there...
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, O Dark One' whenever he starts to talk of what caused him to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
35. Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'
36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'
37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.
38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball.
41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.
42. Call him Tommy-boy.
43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
45. Say he 'looked better under the turban.'
46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
47. Endeavor to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
50. 'Imperio' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful.'
51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry.'
52. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.
53. Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.
54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.
55. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.
56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment.'
57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'
61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.
62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...
63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
64. Tell him you've met plenty of people more evil than he.
65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.
66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.
68. Tell him Lucius did it.
69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.
71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.
72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.'
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling.'
74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.
75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'
76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'
77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'
80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.
81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
83. Sign him up for Little-League.
84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'
87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.
88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.
89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.
90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.
91. Write sonnets for him.
92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildly depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'
96. Mock his baldness.
97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')
98. Get him drunk.
99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah.'
100. Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.
101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.
102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'
103. Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'
104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.
105. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.
106. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.
107. ..at Christmas.
108. Make him dance in the rain with you.
109. Insist that this is to cleanse his soul.
110. "Accidentally" schedule him a him a haircut.
111. ..even though he's bald.
112. Be offended by everything he says.
113. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.
114. Invite him to go streaking.
115. Kill Harry.
116. On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.
117. ..make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.
118. Tell him that getting the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson was definitely a bad idea.
119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.
120. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!"
121. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.
122. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.
123. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And my addition... 124. Read this list to him out loud. Make sure to do all the voices, motions, and sound effects and to laugh at appropriate intervals.
Some Fun Quotes:
Quote of the Week: I didn't lie--I was writing fiction in my mouth. (Homer Simpson)
Do not meddle in the affairs of slashers, for you are cute and go well with other men.
Never knock on Death's door... ring the bell and run away... he hates that.
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. (Laurence J. Peter)
Someone's boring me. I think it's me. (Dylan Thomas)
Sorry I couldn't make it to church--I was busy practicing witchcraft.
Equality is a myth. Women are better.
Your face is like the sun--not because it is beautiful, but because I can only look at it for a minute.
Warning: Trespassers will be shot
It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.
God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.
He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.
For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.
There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.
I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. ..
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
STRESSED? You think I look stressed! I'm gonna KILL the next person who says I look stressed!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.
I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Bumper Sticker of the Week: Any book worth banning is a book worth reading.
When it comes to thought, some people will stop at nothing.
If you can see this car, my cloaking device is broken.
My cat ate your fish.
I'm just driving this because the kids kept falling off the broom.
Jesus saves. Allah forgives. C'thulu thinks you'd make a good sandwich.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
My other car is a BROOM!
HONK if you've never seen an Uzi shot out a car's back window.
Other Things, Like T-Shirts (Warning: These are here because they are non-PC or contain adult themes)
"Other" of the Week: Christianity: The belief that some Cosmic Jewish Zombie will make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so that he can remove an evil from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.
May the fetus you save be a Black Gay Wiccan Democrat.
People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.
Freya, goddess of Love and War: If you can't lay 'em, slay 'em!
Mom Quote of the Week: My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years. (Cathy Ladman)
Sooner or later, we all quote our mothers. (Bern Williams)
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
"There is only one pretty child in the world... and every mother has it." - Chinese Proverb.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
"I'd have a longer attention span if so many things weren't...OH! LOOK! SHINY!."
"A best friend rides in your car no matter how many times you nearly kill them."
"I'm smiling because I'm your sister. I'm laughing because there's nothing you can do about it." If you have a sibling that thinks you are a major menace, put this on ur profile.
"It's not about being who everyone else wants you to be, it's about being yourself and finding someone who loves every bit of it."
"Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry."
"Unless you've lived my life, DON'T judge me because you don't know, never have and never will know every little thing and detail about me."
"Don't tell God how big your storm is. Tell your storm how big your God is."
"If you luv something let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't then it never was."
"Best Friends: Know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public."
"I've built a wall, not to block people out but to see who loves me enough to climb over it."
"Damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive."
"Sarcasm is not a free service I offer...It's a personality trait."
"I'm a daughter hiding my depression. I'm a sister making a good impression. I'm the girl sitting next to you. I'm the one asking you to care. I'm your best friend hoping you'll be there." If you have ever had a friend or know someone who had a friend that commited suicide, put this on your profile.
"Life is like a movie: If you're sad, thats drama. If you're afraid, there's suspense. If you're angry, here's your action. When you look in the mirror, you got horror. Now you're smiling, thats comedy."
"Although fire dwells within my soul, it cannot melt the ice throughout my heart."
"I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue!"
"People too weak to follow their dreams will always find a way to discaourage yours."
"I hated going to weddings cause old people would nudge me and say 'You next!'...That stopped when I started saying the same thing to them at FUNERALS."