emgem2000
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Joined 06-20-09, id: 1976804, Profile Updated: 12-15-13
Author has written 23 stories for Twilight, House of Night, Maximum Ride, Mortal Instruments, Doctor Who, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Beastly, and Night Circus.

Hi!

I'm Em. I'm a eighteen-year-old from England who spends too much time in an imaginary world and still believes in Nargles. I seem to have an inability to update my stories regularly, and have so many fragments written down they could fill a hundred notebooks - and they do. I'm a shameless notebook hoarder, and also in love with my typewriter, who I named Wren.

You may or may not have noticed that I've not updated at all in a rather long time. Sorry about that. I've lost a lot of inspiration, and school is taking up a lot of my time at the moment. I hope to get back on track, but - well, we'll see. I blame the dementors and the zombies for ganging up on me in my dreams.

I have countless favourite books; currently I'm mesmerised by The Night Circus, in awe of Lemony Snicket, and still find that opening any Harry Potter book feels like going home. I'd class myself as much more of a book-person than a screen-person, but that said, I think Steven Moffat is a genius and can't not watch Doctor Who or Sherlock if they're on. I'm also trying to get into Supernatural, and although I have already fallen in love with the characters I am too much of a wimp to have watched all that much yet. Music-wise, I'm told I have terrible taste in music by a fair amount of my friends, but whatever. Taylor Swift and Owl City both reside near the tops of my most-played list, as well as music from Harry Potter and Doctor Who (which I often listen to whilst writing). Then there are various different songs: some Nightwish, some Wrock, a tiny bit of Trock, too much Glee, and other bits and pieces. I'm also a fairly recent convert to the Mugglecast, which is brilliant.

Right, what else? There's a list of possible up-coming fics at the bottom of the page - if any of them interest you especially, send me a PM (I won't bite, honest!) and I'll attempt to speed up. I tend to write my fics out by hand, it's just typing up which becomes time-consuming. I tend to get distracted...

I also have a Fictionpress account, and a NaNoWriMo, both of which have the same username as this. Also, TabsEmSemble is my friend Tabithatibi's and my joint account, where we're working on a collaborative fanfic. Tabs, you're the best fanfiction-sister anyone could ever wish for. Thanks, Tabs. Blurgle-Hoorsy forever!

And to my real sister, if she's here again: go away. Please. :P

Well, that seems to sum up all I need to say. I really hope you enjoy my stories, and feel free to PM me if you'd like to. :)

Until sunset,

Em


An (abbreviated) list of things I like!

Harry Potter/The Night Circus/A Series of Unfortunate Events/Doctor Who/Sherlock/The Mortal Instruments/Infernal Devices/Maximum Ride/Forbidden/Lord of the Rings/Morganville Vampires/Sarah Dessen Books/Pride and Prejudice/And Zombies/Percy Jackson/His Dark Materials/The Avengers/Les Mis (2012)/Merlin/Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D/Supernatural//


If you deleted all your copy and paste things because they took up too much room, copy and paste this onto your profile!


List of possible up-coming fanfictions...

Mantra (Harry Potter)

What They Never Knew (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

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Le Cirque des Rêves by TabsEmSemble reviews
A collaborative story; because I don't believe that we are the only ones who visit the Circus in our dreams.
Night Circus - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,144 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/12 - Published: 4/27/2012 - Bailey, OC
Conversations with John the Hobbit by Ardna reviews
Some unexpected changes have come to the lives of John Watson and Sherlock Holmes...
Crossover - Hobbit & Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 27 - Words: 21,091 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 12/12/2013 - Published: 10/6/2011 - John W.
All Stories (In The End) by TheOneWithTheObsessions reviews
He watches her grow up in the time it takes to blink. One minute she's all full of life and the thrill of it, the next she's collapsed next to him in a sobbing heap looking like the proper adult that she swore she'd never become. Post Angels in Manhattan.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 963 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/22/2013 - Amelia P./Amy, Rory W. - Complete
Memos by tartan-angel reviews
A series of random memos sent between our two favourite Professors... who said Flitwick? *evil glare*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 147 - Words: 41,345 - Reviews: 1248 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 10/5/2013 - Published: 10/28/2009 - Albus D., Minerva M.
The World Is Quiet Here by Tabithatibi reviews
A series of oneshots all inspired by Taylor Swift songs. In no particular order, and with the characters always swapping around. I didn't know what to call it, so I settled for the VFD motto ...
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,635 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10/23/2012 - Published: 3/4/2011
Through Lily's eyes by NoddyF reviews
This is Lily's story and how she goes through Hogwarts as the daughter of the great Harry Potter. How will she cope casting her own shadow? A few surprises lie ahead of her as her journey begins.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 43 - Words: 43,131 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Lily Luna P., Scorpius M.
Affinity by BrownEyes11 reviews
*ATTENTION* I have created a Mary-Sue in this story. I'm going to finish it because I know I ought to, but I'd just like to say...I'm disappointed in myself. Zoey and Erik have a daughter named Sharin-Rae Redbird Night. What will happen when Sharin enters The House of Night and meets Neferet's daughter? Neferet is growing more powerful; she'll do anything to take control...
House of Night - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 36,791 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 9/6/2012 - Published: 4/20/2009
Enter Any Tent by Pica Britanica reviews
Welcome, enter any tent you wish. What will you choose first?
Night Circus - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,287 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 7/15/2012
221B Drabbles by tsukinoblossom reviews
My attempt at writing short stories in the 221-B format 221 words, last word starting with B . I'm really enjoying writing and I think these will encourage me to to do it more often and present an interesting challenge. Note: These stories are not sequential, or even necessarily in the same universe. Unless otherwise specified, each drabble is a unique, complete entity.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 221 - Words: 55,709 - Reviews: 1162 - Favs: 393 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 8/6/2012 - Published: 10/30/2011 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
You Have No Idea by souvenirsfaits reviews
"You're like Hannah Montana dude, living a double life. It's like, half of you is famous and the other half is just... Blaine" In which Darrn Criss is Blaine Anderson's alias to keep the fact the he's a fanboy a secret. What happens when Kurt finds out?
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,131 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 8/2/2012 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Blaine A., Kurt H.
Unconventional Orphan by Pica Britanica reviews
Just something I had to write. One evening a bedraggled Scipio turns up on Ida's doorstep, this is the story of the events that followed. AU, because it wouldn't make sense otherwise.
Thief Lord - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,456 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/22/2012 - Published: 2/28/2012 - Scipio M., Ida S. - Complete
Cherimon: Being Sick Isn't Always So Bad by peachieO reviews
Charlie has the flu, and Alex takes care of him! Fluffy fluff, and a little bit of whump
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,637 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/5/2012 - Published: 1/31/2012 - Complete
John Watson by jeviennis reviews
The demise of John Watson, seen through Death's eyes. Inspired by The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Published: 1/25/2012 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Tombstones by Kaen Okami reviews
Slim visits the graves of the other characters after their deaths, and observes some very strange, very humorous epitaphs...This is the result of a Halloween night sugar high with my friends. A oneshot of entirely random hilarity.
Of Mice and Men - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,100 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Published: 11/10/2011 - Complete
Sherlock is Outnumbered by Jason Layton reviews
Sherlock discovers John has another sister he never talks about. When they are invited to Lunch, Sherlock cannot see what the problem is. One shot.
Crossover - Outnumbered & Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,072 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 12 - Published: 9/25/2011 - Sue B., Sherlock H.
Drapple by Chinky123 reviews
drabble. Draco loves an apple. R R, just a random plot bunny! please read. epilouge now up!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,235 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 9/23/2011 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Draco M., OC - Complete
The Stars by Takk-ansi reviews
Sirius finds understanding in a very unlikely source.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,498 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/23/2011 - Sirius B., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Hold Me Here by ddpjclaf reviews
Written for a FanFic contest Ms. Suzuma is holding. This would take place AFTER the original book, so please be aware that it contains SPOILERS, and do not read if you have not read the book already. Only rated M because of the subject matter. No Lemon.
Forbidden, Tabitha Suzuma - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,117 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/22/2011 - Maya W., Lochan W. - Complete
101 Alternative Edwards by curlyhairedcrazygirl reviews
Say it. Out Loud. Say it!" "Vampire"... but what if Edward wasn't a vampire. what if he was a VEGAN, a NUDE, or even FAT? Here are 101 alternative Edwards. Twilight as you've never seen it before...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 5,028 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/13/2011 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Edward, Bella
51 Ways to annoy Remus Lupin by Tonkswyrda reviews
Sirius gets bored. Tonks helps him come up with a list to annoy Remus. I wonder what will happen...? OMG I UPDATED ONLY TWO YEARS LATE ENJOY IF YOURE STILL READING LOLOL.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,187 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 4/28/2011 - Published: 10/9/2008 - N. Tonks, Remus L.
Everything Ends Eventually by MuslimBarbie reviews
"You see, I had this friend and we used to travel together. But he's gone now... You remind me a bit of him, you know." Amy stumbles across a man in a suit with a big blue box. Eleven/Amy, Ten/Rose.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,711 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 16 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Amelia P./Amy, 10th Doctor - Complete
What did I see? by Elfgirl96 reviews
Kit and Jerome reflect on Olaf and Esme. Two-shot. I don't own ASOUE
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 734 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Jerome S., Kit S.
George by jeviennis reviews
"A lot of readers asked me: "Was George alright?" – Of course he wouldn't be alright, would he? That's the reality." – J K Rowling
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,025 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/8/2011 - George W., Fred W. - Complete
Sherlock vs Sue by PearlyWhirly reviews
That set list was harder to get hold of than Sue Sylvester had expected. Time to call in an unusual acquaintance...
Crossover - Glee & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 583 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Sue S., Sherlock H. - Complete
The VFD Diaries by bttf4444 reviews
A series of diary entries pertaining to moments in the lives of the ASOUE characters.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,557 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 6/5/2010 - VFD - Complete
Forever Waiting by Tabithatibi reviews
Um, basically, the usual Violet and Quigley romance stuff. I'm not at all into romance, but with Violet and Quigley...Well, I just LOVE them together. Please read it, if you like these books, and if you like this pairing it helps a lot. READ IT! PLEASE!
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,959 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 3/5/2011 - Published: 8/7/2009 - Violet B., Quigley Q.
The Nutcracker Prince by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
After seeing the famous Christmas ballet, Angel receives a doll much like the Nutcracker Prince from the play. And, like The Nutcracker, this doll is much more than meets the eye...
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,654 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Angel, Fang
6 Word Stories by Technicolourful reviews
This is a collection of 6 word stories for the HPFC. I am going to do 50 characters, starting with Severus Snape, and ending with Lord Voldemort. R&R please. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 54 - Words: 2,350 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 12/24/2010 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Complete
Amazing Cliches by rainbowstrike reviews
This parodies the many over-used fanfiction topics that I've seen around here. Stupid, random, & OOC in a good way :D. Hopefully I can give you a good laugh. Rated T because I dunno what will pop out of my mind at times. Chapter 35; A/N Chapter of doom
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 31,205 - Reviews: 850 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 12/19/2010 - Published: 7/10/2009
Try to Miss Me by Tabithatibi reviews
It was little more than a whisper, but somehow Hermione felt that if Ron didn't hear that, then he wasn't truly listening to her. Maybe he had never truly listened. Why did he leave? Why did it have to end like this? Please read on ... : Tabs :D
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 968 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Iggy Ramblings :D by Aleria14 reviews
Well, I was really bored in some of my classes, so I decided to start randomly talking to Iggy, about some really funny stuff. This idea was inspired by the great St.Fang of Boredom, so I've included her in the story too, Fang will come later. Enjoy :D
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 71,616 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 12/9/2010 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Iggy
Crimson by Tabithatibi reviews
Crimson splashes of blood freckled the pearly-white snow all around her, a slight breeze causing her hair to flutter. Dry poppy stalks rattled together at the edge of the field, as if in mourning to the motionless girl. Intrigued? Then read on! Tabs :D
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Violet B., Quigley Q. - Complete
Jelly Babies by The Impossible Slashtronaut reviews
Oh noes! The Fourth Doctor has run out of Jelly Babies. How will he cope?
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 471 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/14/2010 - 4th Doctor - Complete
Ask Harry Potter by Chatters reviews
When Harry decides to put an advertisement in the Daily Prophet telling his fans to send him questions, he goes a little over the top. It's only his first year and he has already gotten a big head.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,768 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
The Flock is falling apart by ToBeWinged reviews
Sorry if some of these seem a little harsh, but in a way its true; the flock is falling apart because of every individual, please read, its better than the summary.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 643 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/19/2010
House of Mice by HPgeek1 reviews
A day in the life of Nala, Zoey's overweight, complaining cat. Enjoy!
House of Night - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,241 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Zoey R.
Bedtime Stories by Justine Lark reviews
Renesmee is a unique child, and ordinary bedtime stories just won't do! A few years post-BD, Edward puts his own spin on classic fairytales to help his daughter fall asleep. A different Twilight-style fairytale each chapter. Vampie & Sparkle Award winner!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,448 - Reviews: 703 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 6/24/2010 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie
The Pigs Have Wings by Vera Amber reviews
The scientists at Itex got bored. Really, really bored. As if you could outfly me... As if you could ever even attempt to fight... Oink. Rated T because of language.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 547 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/6/2010 - Complete
Ella's Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock by IndifferentIgnorance reviews
The flock have come to stay for summer, so Ella decides to write a blog while they're invading her house and eating her cookies.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 21,936 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/4/2010 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Ella - Complete
Maximum Ride: April Fools Special by flYegurl reviews
Max wakes up one morning to find... Gazzy in her bed? Iggy and Angel... an item? Fang and Nudge... engaged? Gazzy proposes! Is this all some crazy April Fools prank, or is it actually real? April Fools oneshot. Mazzy, Iggel, Fudge.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,281 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Don't Ask, We're Probably On Drugs by Vera Amber reviews
M.G Christiani and I come together to bring you an extremely... ODD fanfic. Read at your own risk. Includes total gibberish, unheard-of pairings, and RANDOMNESS! Rated T because of paranoia and... uh... paranoia.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,038 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/28/2010 - Published: 9/26/2009
The Dylan Bieber Conspiracy by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Dylan is really Justin Bieber? He's working for the Italians? Little Men will infest Fang's mind? Maple Syrup Farms? IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY! Another random parody brought to you by St. Fang of Boredom.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 905 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Fang, Dylan - Complete
Not The Beard! by Tabithatibi reviews
Minerva wants Dumbledore to tell her something...Even if she has to deprive his precious mouse of its home. ; Tabs :D
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Albus D. - Complete
The fight by indigotwinkle reviews
There is a fight, and one of the cullens die. Now the rest of the family must pull together to help save the one he left behind. Cannon pairs.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,928 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Distracted by Tabithatibi reviews
Quigley's veeeery distracted by one Miss.Violet Baudelaire...What happens when Duncan dares him to prove himself? Just read it to find out. : Humour/Romance...or Romance/Humour Tabs :D
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,055 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Quigley Q., Violet B. - Complete
The Idea of Death by existing reviews
Silas has always wanted Death, but the Lady has never been so kind as to accept him.
Graveyard Book - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 376 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/29/2010 - Complete
The Dark Side of Antarctica by Strawberry Shortcake123 reviews
The Final Warning in Fang's POV. Follows the books, but also unveils a behind-the-scenes scheme we never saw. A scheme meant to rip apart Max and Fang. FAX. T for teen book.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 74 - Words: 54,627 - Reviews: 909 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 1/26/2010 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Emmett Buys a Puppy by maggiekb reviews
Emmett Cullen decides to buy a puppy. The adventures that could only take place with a family like the Cullen family. Takes place five years after Breaking Dawn. Includes all main characters and all usual pairings. Please read and review. Now complete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 87,637 - Reviews: 1107 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 12/13/2009 - Published: 4/30/2009 - Emmett - Complete
A Mustang's Life For Me by xFillyStarx reviews
A parody inspired by "A Pirate's Life For Me."
Crossover - Pirates of the Caribbean & Spirit - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 261 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Complete
I'd Lie Fax Version by percabethatw reviews
I did something kinda like this for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, only it was Love Story and the percabeth version. It's basically max's point of view when it comes to her and Fang. So, ya...it sucks but review anyway :D I don't own crap!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 365 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Sue's Sewage Sueage by Vera Amber reviews
Jacob and Leah, on a sugar high, dump a bunch of Doritos into the Forks sewer system, which is owned by Sue Clearwater. Sue sues them, and the results are mixed. Rated T because of paranoia. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,397 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2009 - Jacob, Leah - Complete
Do Minkles Eat Herring? by Vera Amber reviews
I got curious one day... Do my Meenkulls like Saint's herring? Cowritten with M.G Christiani and rainbowstrike. Rated T because of paranoia. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Fang - Complete
Angel's World Takeover by Lilyth's Flock reviews
Max leaves Angel to protect Canada from the evil penguins who want to take over the world. But guess what happens? Weird, random one shot. Funny.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 635 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Angel
Ten Ways To Annoy The Flock by Fangalicous08 reviews
Ten ways to annoy each member of the flock, plus some other Maximum Ride characters. Starting with, the beloved Maximum.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,371 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Complete
One World Angel by The Layman reviews
It finally happened, Angel took over the world, nuff said.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 566 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/7/2009 - Angel, Max - Complete
In a Room, Together, With No Supervision, CENSOR! by Vera Amber reviews
This is an experiment. I stick Max and Lissa in a room, together, without any supervision, and after a while, I add in a crowbar, a vase, and a belt. Rated T because of paranoia and censorage. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 972 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Max, Lissa - Complete
Maximum's Pride: Max's Makeover by Adryanna reviews
So, Max lets Nudge and Ella give her a makeover. Blush, mascara, they do it all! How does Max take this? And maybe more importantly, how does Fang take this? FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,325 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/27/2009 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Max, Fang
Love in a spirit by Jkylies reviews
Every night Seth dreams about a beautiful, mysterious girl that apparently can walk on water and every night he imprints on her. Is she real? Will he find her? What will happen? Read and find out! Rated T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 20,091 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Seth
Africa Goes Awry by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Alternative Name: A SqueeFan's Worst Nightmare. In which I take every single thing that pisses off die-hard MR fans and turn it into one flame-worthy oneshot. Why? Because it's fun. Blame max-dan-wiz. I'm still a fan of the books, just having some fun.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,012 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Gazzy/The Gasman - Complete
Guy Bonding Fest by BadgerInMySoup reviews
Iggy decides to have a chat with Fang. About Max.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,182 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Iggy, Fang - Complete
Premeditated Nonsense by Vera Amber reviews
Ella challenges the flock to a gymnastics competition. Dr. Martinez and Total are the judges. Slight Eggy, teeny bit of Fax if you squint. Rated T because of paranoia and... Eggyness? Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,852 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Ella - Complete
Those Three Words by BadgerInMySoup reviews
It's Total's wedding and Fang has something to tell Max.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,007 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
The Romantic Rest by MsMacBeth10 reviews
A little short one-shot about something that wasn't written in the Slippery Slope that I think should be. Quigley x Violet!
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 648 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Violet B., Quigley Q. - Complete
Swan Boot Camp by Writer-Of-Randomness reviews
edward, alice and rosalie cullen are rebels. after trashing the mall, their parents send them to swan boot camp. they finally meet their match when they meet bella, jasper and emmett swan who are the camp wardens. AH. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,543 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Complete
Harry and Ginny: love of their lives by xxMailenDenisexx reviews
Harry and Ginny are the love of each others lives. Book 7 seriosuly lacked their relationship. Follow them from the engagement to the birth of their children. Pure HarryxGinny Fluff. But, not a story to pass up. Please Read and review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,187 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Fang's response: Application to date my Daughter by rainbowstrike reviews
As seen in Evil Robina's story 'Application to Date my Daughter'. Yes I have permission to write this follow-up oneshot. Thinking that Dr. M has really given Fang an application form to date Max, he fills it out. These are his answers...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,463 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Fang, V. Martinez - Complete
The ABRIDGED Series of Unfortunate Events by Trekkie S. Monster reviews
The series didn't need thirteen books, did it? Here is the condensed version for those who are short on time. A parody in two chapters: 1-6 and 7-13.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,218 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 11/27/2008
The Signs by cassidy ride reviews
when max is having trouble seeing if fang like her when fang is trying to show his feeling to her little by little but when he does conflicts happen what will he do to show max he really loves her? rated T just incase
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 9,875 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/21/2009 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Wanted by Silvered Rae reviews
Alternate ending to Generation Dead. Pete decides to kill Tommy a different night, meaning that Phoebe and he aren't interrupted. Phoebe wants to know is if Tommy wants her only because of her biotic status, or because of who she really is. Oneshot.
Generation Dead - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Complete
Ron, Voldy, and Muffins by Amythista reviews
A dark day for Hogwarts...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 356 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Ron W., Voldemort - Complete
The Pop Princess by BrownEyes11 reviews
Well I thought I'd combine two of the things I love to hate. Renesmee forces Jacob to take her to a Hannah Montana concert, and the rest is history!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,932 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/17/2009 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
A Series of Twisted Events by thelivingtunic reviews
A parody. In which Klaus raps, Sunny bites, and Violet giggles. As for Count Olaf, well... you'll just have to read to find out!
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,007 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/11/2009
Sparkly by IndifferentIgnorance reviews
Angel discovers a little piece of infomation that can light up anyone's day.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 577 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/5/2009 - Complete
Myrnin quotes by Eurydice Shadowcry reviews
Random quotes my friend and i came up with one day, when we were working on the Myrnins Assistants story. there just random things we think Myrnin would say.rated T because most deal with death, and are slightly morbid.
Morganville Vampires - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 727 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Myrnin, Amelie - Complete
Recite the pi, recite the poem by Arisa Aihara reviews
When the person she tried to wake up recited the pi in his sleep, she recited her poem in return. This poem lingered in his memories longer than she thought it would. The pi and the poem ended up bringing the together again, after years of separation.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,231 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Klaus B., Isadora Q. - Complete
Ninja Fang by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
It's better than Spiderman! Fang hits his head and develops ninja powers! Or, at least, he thinks he has....
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,817 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 35 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Fang - Complete
10 Ways To Ensure Death by Each MR Character by A Silenced Angel reviews
Do these ten things and death will come to you individually from each MR character.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 499 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/15/2009 - Published: 11/11/2008
Fang and the Cookie Addiction by Monkeyzilla reviews
Fang, after having a cookie, becomes addicted to them.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Love With A Red Bow by I'm At My All Time Low reviews
Well, if Santa were real, I would ask him for someone who loved me, under the Christmas tree with a big red bow. I think the bow would just be great, because then he’s like a real present…" Leah said, knowing any minuet Jacob would laugh. J/L
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,561 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Jacob, Leah - Complete
Vampiric Peaches by Llama Mama23 reviews
Emmett decides to attempt to turn peaches into vampires. WARNING: Extremely pointless and stupid!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,813 - Reviews: 748 - Favs: 893 - Follows: 120 - Published: 5/31/2007 - Complete
Twisted Pingu by sneezingapple reviews
Pingu all grown up with a family of his own. This is only funny will my sick sick sick sense of humour.
Misc. Cartoons - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 461 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/28/2007 - Complete
The Great Unknown by picascribit reviews
Life beyond the Veil is not everything Sirius might wish for, but at least there's beer and he's not alone. Not necessary to be familiar with ASOUE. AU post-OotP. RemusxSirius, QuigleyxViolet.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,687 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/18/2007 - [Sirius B., Remus L.] Quigley Q. - Complete
Rejection by IllaSc reviews
Fang's POV. Set after the kiss. Not what you usually read. I love her... as a sister, and a friend. Something tells me for her, it's more.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/24/2006 - Complete
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Hot Chocolate, Hugs, and Hand Grenades reviews
Violet is ill and Quigley makes everything better. Unashamed sick!fic. Spoiler: doesn't actually have anything whatsoever to do with hand grenades.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 905 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/15/2013 - Violet B., Quigley Q. - Complete
Perhaps reviews
In which the Baudelaires might just visit Le Cirque des Rêves. And they might just make a wish, standing under the Wishing Tree. And it might just come true. But then again, it might not.
Crossover - Series Of Unfortunate Events & Night Circus - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/15/2013 - Violet B., Klaus B., Quigley Q. - Complete
Matchstick reviews
It was a strange epiphany, realising that the man she loved had chosen fire over her. But he had, and as each part of the matchstick burns, Kit can't help but remember all those things she's tried so hard to block out.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 668 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Kit S., Count O. - Complete
A Broken Hierarchy of Comfort reviews
The Baudelaires and Beatrice have been sailing for a long, long time. It has been too long since they last saw land. But if Klaus comforts Sunny, and Violet comforts Klaus, then who's left to comfort Violet? Oneshot.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,021 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 8/8/2012 - Violet B. - Complete
Rocking Chair reviews
The rocking chair lies on the floor. Broken. Burned. You used to sit in that chair, do you remember?
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/27/2012 - Kit S., Count O. - Complete
Letters to Fang reviews
Letters that Nudge writes to Fang, after the events of FANG. No relevance to ANGEL. Don't be put off by the amount of chapters, they're almost all fairly short. And it's finally finished! :/
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 42 - Words: 14,339 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 3/25/2012 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Nudge, Fang - Complete
Safe and Sound reviews
Deep in the Valley of Four Drafts, Klaus hears of the fires in the outside world - the outside world where his sisters currently are. Inspired by Taylor Swift's song, and Tabithatibi's corresponding chapter of 'The World is Quiet Here.'
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 734 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/17/2012 - Klaus B. - Complete
Upon the Stroke of Midnight reviews
An invitation to a Very Formal Dance; two Very Finely Dressed girls; a Very Furtive Document... But who was the note really meant for, and who awaits them at the top of the Tallest Tower? For Tabs - Happy Birthday!
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 764 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 1/24/2012
Evil Butter reviews
Involving Emmett, an unwanted 'real' food dinner, Nessie and some evil butter. Yeah, I have no clue, either...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/23/2011 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
No Such Thing As A Happy Ending reviews
Sometimes there are happy endings where everyone lives happily ever after. But more often than not, the ending isn't happy. It's painful and sad and hurtful. But it's real.
Beastly - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 885 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/23/2011 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Complete
Sanctuary reviews
Violet's thoughts after a certain line that Klaus said in the movie.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 412 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Violet B., Klaus B. - Complete
Annabeth reviews
Annabeth, on life, Percy, just about everything... And mainly Luke - her big brother and best friend. Percabeth, not Lukabeth...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,772 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/18/2011 - Annabeth C., Luke C. - Complete
Mirror reviews
What Albus Dumbledore really saw in the Mirror of Erised. I own nothing...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 400 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Albus D. - Complete
Blessed Be reviews
Everyone has a story - even a Goddess. This is Nyx's. I don't own any of the HoN characters, which is a pity, but I can still kidnap them...
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,907 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/10/2010 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Nyx - Complete
Grover's Monologue reviews
A little monologue-type-thing from Grover... About the 'perks' of being a satyr...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Grover - Complete
Vampire Fishies reviews
Involves an upset Bella, a... Edward, and certain Mutant Alien Vampiric Fishies... I think that says it all...
Crossover - Doctor Who & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Bella - Complete
Emotions reviews
Happiness and Sadness. Two completely different emotions. Complete antonyms of each other. But when you don't know why you're feeling them, things get a whole lot scarier... Amy's POV. Two-shot. Enjoy!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/17/2010 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Amelia P./Amy, Rory W. - Complete
Fang Rhymes With reviews
In a moment of crazy OOCness, Max thinks of words that rhyme with Fang. Set before FANG, so it DOESN'T contain spoilers! Heh. Yayness for dumb summaries!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Max, Fang
Bubble Bursting Fun reviews
Bursting people's bubble is so much fun. Especially when it's a special just-imprinted bubble...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Jacob - Complete
Obsession reviews
When Alec was younger, he had an Obsession. This is what it was...
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 313 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Alec L., Clary F.
An Apology reviews
The Angel Experiment is a really great book. My apology to it, for letting it get slightly battered...
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Complete
Feathered Fluff reviews
Fluff. Fax fluff, to be specific. Fair warning: on a recent re-read, it almost made me vomit.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 522 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Max, Fang
Grand Theft Auto reviews
A rainy day in the Cullen household. A Grand Theft Auto tournament. How could Emmett /not/ win?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 472 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete