Heya! I was here for a bit before I got my username, so if there's a mysterious review from Jill or Jilly, it's me. Unless there's another Jill running around the site, reviewing random fics. But if it was a Leverage, Bones, NCIS, CSI: NY or CSI: Miami fic, and there's a review from Jill, then it's probably me. Good thing that's cleared up!

I made this account mainly so I could get an email when any of my favorite stories updated, but I felt guilty not giving anything back, so I wrote my first ever fic for you guys. And by 'you guys' I mean the one person who's going to read this. Who knows, maybe more than one. Maybe even two! Oh well. If I make even one person smile with my fics, it was worth it.

The shows I have managed to keep a grasp on, however vague:

Bones: I ship B/B and Hodgela and I love Wendall and Zach (not as a ship though, never seen that... hmm...).
Doctor Who: New only, and I'm not that interested in Eleven, though I've seen most of season five. Rose/Doctor, either Nine or Ten, but totally hard OT3 Doctor/Jack/Rose, particularly Nine.
Glee: I'm an absolute Gleek. All the usual ships, with extra emphasis on Santana getting her act together with Brittany and omg!Karofsky looks so nice when he smiles/ isn't internalizing homophobia.
In Plain Sight: God, I love this show. I'm currently up to date on episodes and I ship M/M so hard.

Leverage: I officially ship Nophie and Pardison. In fandom, however, there's so much awesomesauce that I'll ship anyone.
Merlin: Totally up-to-date, gigantic Merthur and anyone with the knights, particularly Gwaine/Merlin, but again there's just so much chemistry in that show it's hard to find anyone you can't ship.
Torchwood: I've kind of ficced nothing but this for two years now. It's a bit sad, really. Despite this I've only watched weird parts of Children of Earth and three clips of Miracle Day- in addition to the original two seasons- I'm a giant denier. Janto is my OTP, but it's Torchwood, for God's sake, I ship everyone.

White Collar: My latest obsession, I watched all three seasons in a week. And now I'm dying for the next one! I love the OT3, but really, anything that gets Matt Bomer shirtless is fine with me.

So, this is the third major edit of this part of my profile, and I kind of have to give up. I said first that I didn’t really read slash, femslash, threesomes, etc. unless it was particularly good, and low-rated at that. Then I read Subird Riding Shotgun’s Cell Number Eight universe and went on an M-rated Slash bender, and so I- being an essentially honest person- changed this entry accordingly. However, now I basically read very little that’s not slash, so- being a generally honest, if apparently fickle, person- here I am yet again. Am I fickle? Or is changing your opinion like this just part of living and learning and reading more fics? I do hope it’s the latter, otherwise I’d just feel silly.

Funny stuff:

-- Hardison had stared at him like he was an idiot when he asked his question, opening and closing his mouth a few times before words actually formed and he slowly said, “Eliot, you don’t win World Of Warcraft.” This is from '50 Sentences', a compilation of Leverage shorts by Anime Girl 23. I just cracked up when I read it!

-- Conspiracy to be a b*tch! Mike Franks, that daredevil, on NCIS! Eppy Outlaws and In-Laws

-- Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go call a professional killer who tried to murder me and arrange to meet him at an isolated location. Nathan Fordin Leverage, episode 2x01, The Beantown Bailout Job. This line is just so perfectly Nate. :)

-- I don't want to be mean, so I'm not saying which story this is from, but a writer mentioned in their fic that Anthony DiNozzo from NCIS was infected with the 'Platonic Plague.' For those of you who don't know NCIS, he was infected with the 'pnuemonic' plague. For those of you who are very literal, don't know your plagues, can't use deductive reasoning, and/or are idiots in general, there is no such thing as the 'Platonic Plague,' unless it's a plague that just wants to be your friend.

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! Whee, insanity is FUN!

Gay marriage:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... --

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

For people that hate stereotypes: if you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) *EDITED* I got bored of scrolling through them all, so I just left mine. Egotistical? Perhaps. I can live with that.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to bash your head in with a brick.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to steal all your stuff.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be stupid and the tests are getting easier.

As you all know, there is a life outside of FanFiction.net. Fortunately, I have the links! These are all my favorite stories that were published outside of this wonderful site, but were just too good for me to not share with you all. I hope you enjoy them just as much as I did, and likely, still do on occasion.

Crossovers

Buffy: the Vampire Slayer and Torchwood

Moving on and Moving Back, a series by IceWhisper: You can take the teaboy out of the supernatural...wait, no you can't. Torchwood prepared Ianto for alien invasions. Not once had they trained him on stopping demonic apocalypses. Rated NC-17. Multiple pairings. http:///Series-1167

Doctor Who

The Deal Series, by yamx: Starts a few hours after The Doctor Dances and tracks the development of the relationship between Jack and the Doctor. Rated R. Jack/Ninth Doctor. 105,937 words. http:///8348.html

The Disintegration Universe, by wmr: Rose makes an irrevocable decision when she's not in the best frame of mind to do it, leading to partings, unexpected meetings and a reunion she never imagined. Stories in series range from All Ages to R. Rose/Ninth Doctor, Rose/Tenth Doctor, Jack/Rose/Tenth Doctor. 45,428 words. http:///series.php?seriesid=2128

Early Days, by sahiya: It had been one of the most miserable nights of Jack Harkness's life. Rated PG. 3,973 words. http:///viewuser.php?uid=7920

Love! Slash! Angst!, by Love! Slash! Angst!: One of the best crackfics I've ever read. Lots of attempts as flirting, unexplained appearance of random alien phenomena, conveniently explainable shagging and a wedding. Rated R. 1,098 words. http:///7923.html

Glee

All the White Horses, by nthcoincident: Seventeen years of [fearing, admiring, failing, loving] raising a gentleman. Rated T. Kurt/Blaine, narrarated by Blaine's father. About 11,000 words. http:///18975.html

Complicating Factors, by Dark-Dreymer: The summer after graduating high school is stretched out before Finn like a big highway of suck and he can only greet it with a profound listlessness. The future that waits for him is like some hazy mirage that has yet to take shape, but when Santana decides to play a prank on a total stranger Finn finds himself striking up an unlikely friendship with her victim. As the friendship between Will and Finn grows, the older man offers advice to help Finn decide what to do when Fall comes and he has to decide what he wants to do with his life, but the unexpected feelings Finn develops towards the older man along the way are a complication that might just be the most important detail in making his decision. Rated NC-17. 52,500 words. http:///173070.html

Time and Again, by fyrewyre: You wonder if you’re cheating, because something tells you that none of this can be real, that you haven’t earned this. Karofsky wakes up years ago back at the start of high school. Rated PG-13. 2,086 words. http:///7319.html

Jeeves and Wooster

Jeeves and the Scandal, by triedunture: A public figure is arrested on charges of homosexuality, and the case makes Bertie and Jeeves, both of whom are hiding their true natures for the other, rather uneasy. A tense atmosphere develops in the Wooster household, and at some point, something (or someone) has to break. Rated PG-13. Bertie/Jeeves. About 6,000 words. http:///569075.html

Leverage

Life in the Twenty-First Century, by aces: Alec Hardison, if pressed, would probably suggest that he subscribes to a post-modern definition of identity. Rated G. About 4,100 words. http:///279850.html

Original

All the Things That I’ve Done, by norah: Somebody told me/ You had a boyfriend/ That looked like a girlfriend/ That I had in February of last year. Rated R. 7,425 words. http:///works/2727?view_adult=true

Merlin

Drastically Redefining Protocol, by rageprufrock: In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks lose. Rated Explicit. 67,730 words. http:///series/211

Ethics of Attraction, by nagi_schwarz: Arthur is a young, promising lawyer. He needs to win his next case to get a job at the best law office in town. Merlin is arrested as part of a conspiracy against magic-users and Arthur is assigned to Merlin's case as a public defender. Rated PG-13. Arthur/Merlin. http:///2075371.html

Fools of Us All, by adelagia: Merlin accidentally makes everybody in Camelot fall in love with him. Everybody except Arthur, that is. Rated NC-17. 11,300 words. http:///33016.html

If You Were Gay, by di0br: A fanvid using the song 'If You Were Gay' from Avenue Q. Rated G. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5SJmiiy_gU

Lions and Pebbles and Penguins, Oh my!, by fuzzytomato: Sitting at the top of "Uther's All Time Parenting Backfires" is Arthur's fellow colleague and clumsy best friend - Merlin Emrys. Rated G. 10,306 words. http:///tag/penguins

MERLIN, by moonythestrals: Arthur, Merlin, frat brothers, the Dragon, Arthur's BlackBerry, script writing, shitty hip-hop music, Dogma, FATE & DESTINY - oh God I wish I were joking. Rated R. 11,500 words. http:///59414.html

Natural Selection, by minor_hue: In which Arthur goes on blind dates, Merlin is his waiter, and everyone takes a ride on the crazy train. Rated NC-17. Arthur/Merlin. About 11,300 words. http:///2503.html

The Easiest Thing, by latenightchai. When an inadvertent spell changes Merlin from the inside out, Arthur must face Camelot's latest threat alone – and unravel the mystery of Merlin, or else risk losing him forever. Rated R. 68,400 words. http:///1466.html

The Tournament of All Magicks, by Cori Lannam: Merlin was flattered to be invited to compete in a magical tournament to crown the sorcery champion of Albion. Accepting the invitation probably wasn't his brightest idea. Rated NC-17. 41,321 words. http:///136113.html

What They Want, by rane_ab: An RPF, or Real Person Fic, written for the prompt 'They are in love, but one of them is asexual.' Rated NC-17. Brandley James/Colin Morgan. About 4,800 words. http:///105037.html

Sherlock

An Avalanche of Detour Signs, by gyzym: In which Molly Hooper gets a job, gets a degree, breaks a heart, has her heart broken, falls in love, keeps a secret, saves a life, runs a morgue, falls apart, pulls it together, and finds exactly what she didn't know she was looking for--not necessarily in that order. Rated Mature. 56,053 words. http:///works/340976?view_adult=true

Torchwood

A Matter of Time, by demotu: A time travelling, action-adventure, romance-filled science fiction romp ensues when Ianto runs into Jack in the fifty-first century after an accident with a vortex manipulator. Laser blasters, alien dance clubs, mercenaries, a little too much public sex for Ianto's tastes, sneaky plans and circular logic can be found here. Rated NC-17. 101,259 words. http:///6964.html

Adaptation, by filomena. Harkness Anthropology 101: An Abridged Guide to Human Sexual Evolution. Set early in S1. Rated PG-13. 3,647 words. http:///4697.html

An Empty Surprise Series, by butterflycell: Things have been bad for a while and they've only been getting worse. They've stopped talking completely for months and when Jack breaks the news that he's leaving, that he needs space, Ianto can't help but wonder whether it's the end... Rated FRT. 8,645 words. http:///88036.html

AU Torchwood Convention, by nos_tylluan: Captain Jack, Ianto and Gwen investigate an odd rift anomaly and find themselves in far different place than they expected to be. Rated PG-13. Jack/Ianto. Quite long. http:///545.html

Belonging, by never_more_fics: The Torchwood team members are struggling to get back to normal after recent shattering events, when the Doctor turns up in the Torchwood Hub in the middle of the night; alone, heartbroken, guilt-ridden, and needing somewhere to belong. Rated NC-17. 106,400 words. http:///11957.html

Bit-O-Honey, Chick-O-Sticks and Kona Coffee, by ontinia: They're Super Heroes! Rated PG. Jack/Ianto. 2,104 words. http:///14483.html

Blood and Roses, a series by choccy_grl: A chance meeting along the Thames after the Doctor Who special The Christmas Invasion leads Jack and Ianto to form a relationship between London and Cardiff. Will Lisa, the Battle of Canary Wharf and Ianto's mysterious heritage allow them to be together? Rated NC-17. Jack/Ianto. 27 stories ranging from 1 to 8 thousand words each. http:///64746.html

Blood Ties, by Morgane: The door creaks open a couple of hours later and Ianto hovers in the doorway. Jack doesn’t say anything, waiting for his son to do something, when Ianto slips under the covers and kisses him. Rated NC-17. 5,481 words. http:///140972.html

Choices, by gingerlr: Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood 3, has made many choices in his life. But what if he made other choices? What would his life be like? What if something happened to force Jack to live some of those other choices? Rated NC-17. Jack/Ianto. Really long. http:///60958.html

Club Wales, by pocky_slash: In the wake of Jack's disappearance, Gwen finds comfort in a new friendship with Ianto. Gossip, bonding, and other hijinks of understanding ensue. Gwen Ianto friendship (with incidental canon pairings - Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys - and appearances by Tosh and Owen) PG13, 19,870 words. http:///1381103.html

Condition of Release, by sam_storyteller: Jack has studied the Cybermen for forty years, and he's damned if he'll let one take any of his people away from him without a fight. Rated PG13, R in the last chapter. Jack/Ianto. 39,483 words. http:///142935.html

Creative Writing: A series of three ficlets, by thaddeusfavour: Jack’s getting creative with his mission reports. Rated PG-13. 1,085 words. http:///717.html

Dance Me To the End of Love, by Otrame: It is inevitable, because Ianto is a mortal man. In one Universe, this is the way it happened. Rated Tenn. About 10,000 words. http:///viewstory.php?action=printable&textsize=0&sid=31942&chapter=all

Different Sort of Science, by gracie_musica: It's the simple things, the little moments that can completely throw your life off the course it's firmly been set on. For Ianto Jones, it had been something as simple as offering help with a stubborn horse. Rated R. Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa. 55,998 words. http:///203935.html

Ecstasy, by Love! Slash! Angst!: Prequel to the Faithful!Verse. Ianto Jones has always been... special. He tries to get away from it all for a night, and ends up meeting the men who will change the course of his life. Ianto/John, Jack/Ianto/John. Rated very R. 29,880 words. http:///34101.html

Expedience, by cupidsbow: Three generations of the Harkness family, throughout time and space. Rated T and M. 2,476 words. http:///series/2448

Guard Them, and Him Within, by etharei: Ianto Jones finds himself far from home. But there are guns, aliens, and more Strange Happenings than one can shake a stick at, so sometimes it’s like he hasn’t left. Of stories within stories, and the adventures of small characters. Jack/Ianto. Rated M. 38,000 words. http:///Round2/40-guard.php

Hot Flames and Sharp Objects, by kahtyasofia. Jack and Ianto are playing as they are wont to do. Rated hard NC-17. 4,800 words. http:///71932.html

Hourglass, by Lazuli: Death is not the only form of loss. Rated NC-17. 109,000 words. http:///hourglass/hourglass.htm

Ink in My Coffee, by CS WhiteWolf: When the mysterious Michael Schofield turns up at the Torchwood Tattoo & Piercing Studio with an elaborate design he wants tattooed onto the entire upper half of his body, tattoo artist Ianto Jones wastes no time in accepting the challenge to ink the design exactly as Michael has envisioned. The hours Ianto and Michael find themselves spending together in close proximity as Ianto works his magic with the needle, soon bleeds into the after hours, where needle on skin is replaced by skin on skin. Rated R. About 32,000 words. http:///289819.html

Life As We Knew It, by kendermouse: In 1940 RAF American Volunteer Capt Jack Harkness' fell through a wall of light and found, not heaven, but a strange new world. Can he find a place with a rag tag team of spirited individuals trying to save the world, and find 'HOME' in the process? Rated R. Many pairings. 61, 451 words. http:///Round1/09_life_as_we_knew_it.php

Long Time Coming, by baby_razzle: Ianto Jones’s new house has come complete with an unwelcome guest. But when things go Bump in the Night, Ianto Jones bumps back. Rated PG 6,326 words. http:///66464.html

Natural Sequence to an Unnatural Beginning, by johanirae: The first time they met, Jack was the butler; and Ianto was selling the House and firing all the staff. ... There are possibly better beginnings to a love story, but a love story nevertheless this is. Rated PG-13, possibly light R- some parts may be NSFW. Comic-style, so no words but three posts of pictures. http:///221646.html

Non-Linear, by misswinterhill: Ianto Jones died on a Monday night at exactly six thirty-seven p.m. This wouldn’t have been so remarkable if not for the fact that Ianto Jones was fated to exist for longer than almost any dead man in the known multiverse. This is his story. Rated PG-13. Jack/Ianto. Over 20,000 words. http:///12454.html

Reach Out and Touch Someone, by tanarin: After Jack has gone, Ianto gets a phone call... AU of Jack's travels with the Doctor, presumably after End of Days. Rated NC-16. 18,835 words. http:///13683.html

Remarkable, by snowwhiteliar: Once upon a time, in a small village in a distant province of a peaceful kingdom, there lived a boy called Ianto... Rated R. 21,670 words. http:///4295.html

Rocket Man, by lawford: Takes place instead of COE. When Jack leaves Gwen and Ianto behind a second time, Ianto doesn't wait around. Ianto/John, Ianto/Jack, mentions of John/Jack. Rated M, I have no idea how many words, but it's long. http:///13832.html

Second City Torchwood, by sam-storyteller: This universe is predicated on the idea that neither the original Torchwood nor Doctor Who exist in this universe; it is speculation about how Torchwood would be handled by an American network, albeit an American network with a reasonably intelligent producer at the helm. The sequel Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who is about twice as spectacular. Rated PG-13. Various pairings. 22,581 words and 49,757 words respectively. http:///117972.html

Serve and Volley Verse, by choccy_grl: Jack is a professional tennis player who takes advice from a young ball boy. Can the two lonely boys find friends and teammates together- even something more- or will outside pressures and their own fears get in the way? Rated PG for most of the series, but some stories are PG-13 or NC-17. About 46,000 words. http:///tag/verse:serveandvolley

Storm-Verse, a series by d8rkmessngr: He abandoned Jack on the game station. But then he came back…different. An AU on what happens if things happened differently. Rated NC-17. Jack/Master, Jack/Ianto. Wicked extremely long. Link goes to author's masterlist: http:///49490.html

Strangely Attractive, by kijikun: "We're business partners, or were. That might not be a ring and a garter, but in my experience it lasts longer. Well, unless my business partner tries to kill me, but I never start it." John/Gwen. Rated NC-17. 53,137 words. http:///Round1/10_strangely_attractive.php

Suspension, by leofuller and the9thdoctor: Every decision made changes the future. For better or worse, Ianto wakes up in a universe where he never had a chance to hide Lisa in the basement – A universe where he died in the wreckage of Canary Wharf and somebody else went to Cardiff with a deadly secret. Rated '15ish'. 24,954 words. http:///16140.html

The Education of Ianto Jones, by verasteine: Ianto Jones had grown up with a world view of straight couples. Now he knows different. Rated mature. 3,416 words. http:///9380.html?format=light

The End is Where We Begin (Again), by Adina: Jack tries to change Torchwood--and himself. Rated Teen. 5,310 words. http:///130049.html

The Need, by clarity_lore. It's a fluffy, silly, hopefully slightly amusing PWP. Say no more. Rated NC17. 2,544 words. http:///1657089.html

The Secretary, by Hope: "Have you always had such an unhealthy fixation on office supplies, sir?" / "Only since I got a secretary." Rated Explicit. 6,833 words. http:///works/5140

The Steadfast Wooden Heart, by moonfirefic: Long ago, when the City of Newport was still a village at the edge of a vast forest, the Rhoddin Coed or Heartwood Tree acted as guardian, watching over lovers who wed beneath his curling branches. After wishing for a true love of his own, the great oak is struck by lightning, sundering his trunk in twain until only the heartwood of the enchanted tree remains. When Merlin sees a glimpse of the future, he entrusts the precious heartwood to a young woodcutter by the name of Jones, and sets his family and the Rhoddin Coed on an enchanted journey that will span millennia and bind them together in ways he never imagined possible. Centuries later, after the Great War, a heartsick soldier carves a mannequin to sell suits in the family tailor shop and dubs his creation Ianto. As Ianto learns what it means to be truly human, the arrival of a man with laughing blue eyes brings him closer to finally experiencing his greatest wish – true love. Rated PG-13. 18,500 words. http:///36430.html

They Grip the Ground, by giddygeek: Encountering a rhinocerous-like alien sets the stage for mild Gwen-bashing (all in good fun), impressive imagination and some fun Janto! Very funny fic. Rated PG. 1,800 words. http:///tw_flashfic/9463.html

Unconditional Positive Regard, by epithetta: So, blast from the past, actually, made contact with the Lambree. The Torchwood team is acting very odd. Hilarious fic! http:///6829.html?thread=105645

Undercover Partners, by choccy_grl: In a non-descript office building in London there is a secret government anti-terrorist department called simply The Department, previously known as CI5. Rated R. Jack/Ianto. 4,786 words. http:///79106.html

W-Section, by basingstoke: How Janet came to be at Torchwood. Rated 'Unspeakable' by the author, which means about PG-13. Jack/not sure you really want to know, Jack/Ianto. 948 words. http:///362509.html

We held gold dust in our hands, by amanda_r: Lisa did not die at Canary Wharf, and life did not turn out the same for anyone. Rated NC-17. 63,000 words. http:///401160.html

Welsh for Beginners, by derryderrydown: Jack likes Welsh. A lot. Crackfic. Jack/Ianto. Rated T. 591 words. http:///1312316.html#cutid1