Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.
Heres a few things about me! I love reading and playin soccer and writing :)
age: teenager and thats all you need to know ;)
bday: christmas (im not kidding, it sucks!)
nickname: Jello, Tank, and Jay
eye color: brown
hair: curly short brown hair
fav color: purple and black
fav bands: Linkin Park, Coldplay, Green Day, Good Charlotte
fav music: ROCK!!!!!!!!
fav book: Harry Potter series, Immortal series, Bayern series
fav author: Shannon Hale, J.k. Rowling, Tamora Pierce
fav icecream flavor: cake batter and anything w/ rasberries
fav place to eat: del taco
fav character: Draco and Severus (Harry Potter) Jasper and Paul (twilight)
Randomly Awesome Stuff
One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.
When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.
Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!
My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.
if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!
OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!
yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.
warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
I don't obsess, I think intensely!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.
Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyway
Life's tough...Get a helmet
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."
"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P
Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
There are no stupid questions – just stupid people.
If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.
Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this in it to make it even longer.
If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, then copy this into your profile.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile.
If you would love to have wings, post this in your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. (Gets really aggravating after a while...)
If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile. (Right after I finished reading the sign...)
If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile. (Stupid immobile walls...)
If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile. (All the time...)
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Yup, usually during awkward or normal silences...)
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. (...thirty...)
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (You're on it)
92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh you ass off, copy and paste this into your profile. (Every time... ;p)
If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.
If you complian that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile. (...Guilty...)
~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up.
~ I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's
~ A true idiot climds a glass wall to see what's on the other side.
~You say I'm not cool. But cool is just another word for cold. so if I'm not cold, I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
~Boys are like Slinky's. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
~When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.
~You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
~A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
~A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a Best Friend will be sitting next to you saying "Let's do it again!"
~Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.
~I used all my sick days so I called in dead.
~The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.
~Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
~Don't worry about the end of the world coming today- it's already tomorrow in Australia.
~Me and one of my best friends Donna are working together... Be afraid, Be very afraid! (if u wer in my LA class u would know wat i mean:))
~Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Of, that red stuff leaking out of them?...That's cooking oil.
~Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!
~An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.
~Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!
~There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEAT PIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
~Newscaster ase the people who tell you "Good evening" and then procede to tell you why it's not.
~Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...
~Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible? ~I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
~There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't.
~I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
~I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.
~If someone told most people they were weird, most people would disagree. I would ask what their first clue was.
I didn't trip...
I was testing Gravity!
It still works
I'll watch the scariest movies and not even flinch...
But I'll SCREAM at the top of my lungs when toast, pops out of the toaster...
"A guy gave his girl 12 roses, 11 real, one fake. There was note, and it said, "When the last rose dies, that's when I'll stop loving you."
How come parents always say dont take candy from strangers but on halloween its encouraged?
1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well. Again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you.
9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'