"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." E.M. Forester
I’m starting a new chapter in my life. I deleted my stories so I could move on. It meant a lot to me at one point, so it was hard to let go, but this persona doesn’t define who I am. After several hip preservation surgeries I’m finally healthy enough to get a job as a pharmacist, and my husband and I are thrilled :$ I’m also healthy enough to start a family, which is something my husband and I have been wanting to do for a few years.
A few months ago I created a new persona to blog (about writing) and write original fiction. I actually have more blog followers in the few months I’ve been blogging than I did for this story after five years XD So far I’m enjoying it, and it’s an awesome community of writers. My fanfiction novel was a huge mess. I know it sucked, and I'm still surprised so many of you liked it. It needed a massive editing job, but since I was doing this just for fun and writing practice, I didn't see the point. I’ve taken a step back, and I’m working on short stories to fix many of my weaknesses. I have a few already that I’m polishing up so I can submit them to literary magazines under a pseudonym. I’m sure my first ones will get rejected, but I’m improving a lot in the process, so that’s the important part for me.
I downloaded all of my fanfiction stories, but I won’t be reposting them anywhere. I wanted to keep them as a reminder of how much I sucked when I first started. I may never be a great writer, but my focus is on improvement rather than skill level. I write because it’s cathartic for my soul, and I have these characters in my head that have a story to tell. I just do their bidding and try to tell their stories as best as I can. I’m not writing anything else for this fandom because it’s too painful and probably always will be. I might write for another fandom in the future, but I’ll have another pen name separate from this one and my original fiction one. Maybe you’ll recognize me from the prose XD I’ll probably just write short stories as inspiration hits because I want to focus on original fiction.
I’m grateful for my experience here because it taught me so much about writing. Thank you to everyone who reviewed or added my story to their favorites and/or alerts. It meant a lot to me and helped me grow as a writer. I’m also thankful for the friends I made during my time in the FF VII fandom. I’ve actually had the pleasure to meet several of them in person, like Blue Jae. I feel blessed to have so many awesome friends that I met through this fandom.
For me, no hero will ever compare to Zack. Every other protagonist I read or create will just have to live in his shadow. I’ve been with him for so long that he’s real in my heart. Thanks again for the support you gave me, and sharing my love of Zack and Cloud. I will always remember it fondly :)