Poll: I have to put a story on hold so I can meet up to your demands. Pick a story that you DO NOT want to be put on hold. Vote Now!
Author has written 7 stories for Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, and Mortal Instruments.
You are always allowed to tell me about my grammar and spelling errors. You can tell me if my writing is the crappiest thing in the world, unless there's a bad day notice on my page. (Then you wait until the notice changes before shooting me down.) You can douse me in flames all you want. Me? I just want the truth.
Am I having a bad day today? Yes No
Important things first. Like...
~Not to be Expected: Harry Potter fanfic. It's about to be taken off site anyways so I'm not going to bother. (Goodbye, little fic. Wait, that sounded wrong.)
~If I Wasn't There: First book in the If series; my greatest success thus far. Harry Potter/Maximum Ride crossover, where Max is Voldie's daughter and she has to get the Flock on their side but then things come up and yeah... Completed
~If I Never Live: Book two in the If series. Harry Potter/Maximum Ride crossover, where horrible memories are coming back and Max wishes she didn't live them once, much less live them again
~Between the Two: Mortal Instruments/Harry Potter crossover. I was reading the Mortal Instruments and those two werewolves were having that conversation about who would win: Magnus or Dumbledore. My take on it. (See epilogue of City of Ashes) Feel free to suggest ideas. Randomness is your best friend.
~Running Out of Words to Say: Maximum Ride fanfic, where Max is one of the school track stars and the top of the school and popular while Fang is the quiet, dark, mysterious, and not particularly shy new kid. They fall in love (kinda), and Fang won't talk to her. (On hold because I'm suffering from post-evil-reviewer sadness. D'X)
~Jell-o Shots: Just something I wrote out of boredom and sudden inspiration about Teddy babysitting all his little cousins and they find something called a shot cup and he has to explain what it is. Completed.
~Better than You: The childhood of Alecto and Amycus Carrow. Yes, I know their names don't match their gender and I'll explain why later. Anyways, Amy's a cheerleader and Alec's a Quidditch player and I have no idea where this is going. :D It's on hold until I get angry people demanding me to update. Or until I finish the things I'm currently working on.
~Champion: Companion (sorta) fic to the If series; remember Dave? Real life Dave wanted to write something so we ended up with this. Co-written with Brubin
Would you like me to write a story? I was considering these after I finish a few of my current projects:
~YumixUlrich Cinderella version: Basically a Cinderella story with Sissi getting on everyone's nerves, no evil stepmother yet, Yumi's the quiet and unnoticed one of Kadic and Ulrich is, as usual, the 'prince' everyone wants. I've just noticed that no one's written one yet so I'm tempted to write one just so there is one.
~YumixUlrich version of Running Out of Words to Say: It was already an idea way back in the beginning of Running Out of Words to say with a role reversal; Yumi's the slightly less quiescent new girl and Ulrich's a track and soccer star with all the girls throwing themselves at his feet.
~Code Lyoko/Soul Eater crossover: Yumi's friends from Japan come for a student exchange program and they find Lyoko. It's just something I want to write after I'm finished with all the stuff I've started.
Also taking suggestions.
You (no, just kidding.)
Pm me anytime u want. I'm here every now and then. If you email me and I don't know you, then I'm going to think you're a stalker.
My fiction press account is over here. Go visit it sometimes. I've got one shots and poems 'cause I always bore my readers... *winkwink*
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8.Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
(Laugh; it's funny.)
And just because I'm me...we get the dirty jokes
Q: What begins with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? I dare you to scream it. You won't? I'll do it...
Q: What begins with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? Try screaming this one.
Did you know that roughly 90 percent of the pictures of the internet are of naked women? Now you know. Are you disgusted? You should be.
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nonna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...that it might be cold?)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because??)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what? Outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nut.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nut"
(Gee, who would have imagined?)
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(Aw, thanks for ruining the world wide dream of flying...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with the tourists.
Cocktail lounge in Norway:
At a Budapest zoo:
Doctors office, Rome:
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
In a Nairobi restaurant:
On an Athi River highway:
On a poster at Kencom:
In a City restaurant:
One of the Mathare buildings:
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
In a Pumwani maternity ward:
In a cemetery
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
In a Tokyo bar:
In a Bangkok temple:
Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
Hotel brochure, Italy:
Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
Hotel elevator, Paris:
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
Taken from a menu, Poland:
Supermarket, Hong Kong:
From the "Soviet Weekly":
In an East African newspaper:
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
A laundry in Rome:
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary.
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait!
In a barbershop: "If you're not becoming to her, you should be coming to us".
Signs seen in Great Britain.
Spotted in a toilet of a London office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Metaphorses be with you! (Say it out loud)
Be sure to proofread, because you might some words out.
FRIENDS: Will dare you to embarrass yourself by calling things out to your crush which hates the fact you like them but will put up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will yell "Y.M.C.A scratch you balls and say WHY ARE WE GAY?" to your crush just to embarrass you not caring about themselves.
FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night
BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process
FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you
BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your best friend
FRIENDS: Will say you can do better
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"
FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying
BEST FRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
FRIENDS: Will help you move
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. here's a tissue"
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BEST FRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"I'M HOME, DID YA MISS ME?"
FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass with his/her dad's base ball bat
FRIENDS: bail you outta jail
BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song
FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick
BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone
FRIENDS: dare you to scream into the street
BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
BEST FRIENDS: Will re post this crap
Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Guy: Is this seat empty?
Guy: Your place or mine?
Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Guy: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Guy: Your eyes they're amazing.
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "girl comebacks"
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
And when he pulled the trigger back
Mummy I was a good girl
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to get married
But mummy I must go now
I love you mummy I always have
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Now you have two choices:
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
A true boyfriend
When she walks away from you mad
When she stares at your mouth
When she pushes you or hits you
When she starts cussing at you
When she's quiet
When she ignores you
When she pulls away
When you see her at her worst
When you see her start crying
When you see her walking
When she's scared
When she lays her head on your shoulder
When she steals your favorite hat
When she teases you
When she doesn't answer for a long time
When she looks at you with doubt
When she says that she likes you
When she grabs at your hands
When she bumps into you
When she tells you a secret
When she looks at you in your eyes
When she misses you
When you break her heart
When she says its over
When she reposts this bulletin
Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend."
(Ironic, seeing as I don't have a boyfriend...)
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese, there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Our parents and our grandma immigrated from China. So, it's either my mum or dad or me or my brother or my grandma. I'm not sure but I don't think there are any Chinese in my family.
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
What happens if you put 'this side up' facing down while popping microwave popcorn?
It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. (My grandad said that too!)
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... (mmmmmm... pie...)
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them. Do it... DO IT!
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil... Wait, no, It's Edward Cullen painted Silver... Still as bad...
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
She who laughs last laughs the Laughiest.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
A synonym is a word you use when you don't know how to spell the other one.
Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
In two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
The grass is always greener on t.v.
My favorite books!
~Harry Potter (like the rest of the world)
~Twilight Series (Sorta kinda um...)
~Percy Jackson and the Olympians
~The Hunger Games
~House of Night (Nefert is a really weird principal...)
My Favorite Anime/Manga/Graphic Novel/Cartoon/Anything like that!
~Fullmetal Alchemist (FMA)
~Code Lyoko (my current favorite!!!)
Favorite Characters (1 per book/anime/manga/whatev)
~Bree Tanner (Twilight Series)
~Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson and the Olypians)
~Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy)
~Jaq (Nightschool...I thought he was a girl...)
~Primrose Everdeen (The Hunger Games)
~Can't pick one for Harry Potter. Sorry peeps!
~Can't pick one for Maximum Ride either.
~Stevie Rae (House of Night)
~Alex (Alex Rider, duh)
~Maka (Soul Eater)
~Al (Go! Go! Alphonse! FMA)
~Najika (Kitchen Princess)
~Kyo (Fruits Basket; I'm a lil rat, ironically. ^-^)
~Yumi or Ulrich...ugh, they're so darn cute; I just can't pick (Code Lyoko)
March 16: When FANG is released in the U.S.A. (Done!)
August 24: When Mockingjay is released in the U.S.A. (Done!)
Some time in May: When Burned comes out. (Done!)
October 26: When Nightschool book 4 comes out (Done! And I even bought it!)
December 9: When Last Sacrifice comes out (and it's my friend's birthday :) (Done!)
Next year in March (???): ANGEL comes out
Some point in the future: Avatar II comes out
2013: Maximum Ride the moive comes out
Some time this year (I think): Season five of Code Lyoko comes out (25 episodes!)
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