Evil People's Underwear
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Joined 07-07-09, id: 1998148, Profile Updated: 12-19-13
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, and Batman Begins/Dark Knight.

Colour? Yellow

Number? 1,575

Animal? Duck

Food? Parsnips or Grapes

Shape? Circle

Film? The Lion King

Artist? Frank Turner or Florence

Book? Harry Potter

TV Show? Miranda, Sherlock, Friends, Ashes to Ashes, Robin Hood, Ballykissangel, North and South, Pride and Prejudice

The flaws in Rock, paper, scissors...

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

The Rules of Hogwarts:

I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand.

I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day".

I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort.

I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Lubricant.

I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously.

I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

"To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

Must not interrupt and shout 'WHOO! Way to go!' every time Dumbledore or anyone makes a speech in The Great Hall.

No matter how old my stories are... even if it's 20 years down the line PLEASE leave a review, because it will always, without fail, make my day xox

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Have a Drink, Sweetheart by Ellana-san reviews
Collection of tumblr hayffie prompts that I was asked for. You can leave me one at ellanainthetardis
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 509 - Words: 988,334 - Reviews: 2886 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 330 - Updated: 16h - Published: 2/16/2014 - Haymitch A., Effie T.
Chasing Grindylows by Firetoflame reviews
She pens the note on official Ministry letterhead. Remus Lupin, it reads. You are hereby summoned to attend an Auror interview regarding case file number 713, suspect to be named, Sirius Black. You are required to attend promptly at nine o'clock on the morning of Tuesday the twenty-first. Sincerely, Nymphadora Tonks, Auror Department
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 42 - Words: 169,901 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 6/10 - Published: 3/17/2015 - [Remus L., N. Tonks]
The Gray Areas by KaydenceRei reviews
This was never going to work, they each had too many of their own problems; Bruce with his monster and Natasha with her demons. It was an entirely new gray area that she was fundamentally unprepared for. (How the relationship developed after the fall of SHIELD and before Ultron.)
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 196,120 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 4/1 - Published: 10/14/2015 - [Black Widow/Natasha R., Hulk/Bruce B.] Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
The Place Between by Psicygni reviews
"No, Gaila. I am not, absolutely not going to walk into Commander Spock's office and suggest that we pretend to date for an entire summer. I mean, we… I… he's not… I couldn't even spend that much time with him, nor would I want to. He's so… he's just really… I have professional mores, Gaila. Standards of conduct that this… just, no. No. No, thank you for the idea, but no."
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 321,423 - Reviews: 1256 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 12/3/2015 - Published: 9/27/2014 - [N. Uhura, Spock] C. Pike, Gaila - Complete
Home Sweet Home by modernxxmyth reviews
Bruce and Natasha go undercover in the suburbs. Shenanigans ensue. Fake married AU. Pre-AoU.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,822 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/27/2015 - [Black Widow/Natasha R., Hulk/Bruce B.] - Complete
Like a Mirror, Reflecting Me by modernxxmyth reviews
"It's scary, you know? Caring about people." Bruce/Natasha, fills in the blanks between Avengers and AOU (contains AOU spoilers).
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,970 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 29 - Published: 6/18/2015 - [Black Widow/Natasha R., Hulk/Bruce B.] - Complete
When the Smoke Clears by Eienvine reviews
It's been exactly fifty-one weeks since the downfall of President Snow's regime when Haymitch Abernathy sees Effie Trinket again.
Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 50,676 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 2/19/2015 - Published: 11/11/2014 - [Haymitch A., Effie T.] - Complete
And Like Becomes Love by Firetoflame reviews
Remus and Tonks, two unlikely souls, find their way to each other and realize it's a little bit perfect, if only he'd stop calling her Nymphadora already. Rated K (except for one part that makes it to M)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,021 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 15 - Published: 12/27/2014 - [N. Tonks, Remus L.] - Complete
Bottle-Specs by takethefirewhiskyandrun reviews
"What's she done to herself?" Sirius whispered quite loudly. There was a slight scuffle and some mumbles as I squinted, trying to make out their shapes and turn towards them."Um, are these yours?" Potter said uncertainly, after a few moments. "If you're talking about the embarrassingly thick, probably broken glasses on the floor, then yes. And…I can't see without them," I babbled.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 135,014 - Reviews: 1036 - Favs: 639 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 5/23/2014 - Published: 1/9/2014 - [Sirius B., OC, Regulus B.] - Complete
Three Parts Dead by LolaBleu reviews
He kisses my lips and then each of the four birds tattooed under my collarbone, lingering a little longer on the newest one; the one closest to my heart; the one that represents him. Post-Insurgent/Tris' fear of intimacy.
Divergent Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 22 - Words: 107,976 - Reviews: 692 - Favs: 1,284 - Follows: 858 - Updated: 5/3/2014 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Tris/Beatrice P., Four/Tobias - Complete
A Little Taste by SiriusUntiltheVeryEnd reviews
Bitter enemies, fit them perfectly, but as Sirius's lips dug into her neck, sucking and teasing her, all rationality left her. Sirius told himself time and time again that this time, would be the last and then a few days would go by and here they would be.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 89,220 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 4/20/2014 - Published: 8/12/2013 - [Sirius B., Marlene M.] - Complete
Isolation by Bex-chan reviews
He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!" DM/HG. PostHBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 48 - Words: 278,881 - Reviews: 13475 - Favs: 17,464 - Follows: 12,133 - Updated: 4/5/2014 - Published: 9/2/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Luxury and the Necessity by Devanrae reviews
Post-Games, life slowly returns to normal in District 12. Katniss, healing, finally begins to turn to Peeta for affection and accept his love. Post-MJ Canon. Alternate K&P POV. M for LEMONS! 2nd place best multi-chapter, 3rd place best in-progress, 2013 Everlark Smut Awards! Check out my interview with Jenie!: : / / sheafofarrows(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/57891010312/ devanrae
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 162,745 - Reviews: 905 - Favs: 1,794 - Follows: 1,602 - Updated: 12/19/2013 - Published: 3/29/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
Deorwynn by 153alira reviews
She was still a child when she left her home, but after swearing to protect the small hobbit called Frodo on a dangerous quest, lossing someone precious to her and falling slowly for someone she may never have, will she return the same?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 53 - Words: 102,532 - Reviews: 494 - Favs: 475 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 9/6/2013 - Published: 9/8/2011 - Legolas - Complete
The Case of the Creature Kidnappings by frostykitten reviews
"What your puny mind doesn't understand, Potter, is that she does the paperwork I hate, and I do the dirty work that grates on her Gryffindor sensibilities." Hermione and Draco have been partners working in the Department for Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures for years, but their comfortable partnership is shaken up when creatures go missing and the Aurors get involved.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 102,746 - Reviews: 1128 - Favs: 1,707 - Follows: 757 - Updated: 6/24/2013 - Published: 8/9/2012 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Taking her there with me by Redizded reviews
"There?" he whispers in her ear and, sure enough, he feels her grip tighten. - COMPLETE! -
North and South - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,941 - Reviews: 273 - Favs: 504 - Follows: 316 - Updated: 6/17/2013 - Published: 9/11/2012 - Complete
Devil's Deal by LA DIABLESA reviews
"So in effect you want me to save the woman who betrayed me and the man she betrayed me with" he scoffed at this notion. "And what Granger, should I expect in return for performing such a selfless and noble deed?" he finished sarcastically. Dramione.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 102,066 - Reviews: 1601 - Favs: 2,925 - Follows: 1,938 - Updated: 4/28/2013 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
And Shut Up! by haliad reviews
A story following the sixth year of Kate Nolan, the only teenage girl who seems utterly repelled by Sirius Black. Then again she is best friends with Lily Evans, who has perfected the art of being tempestuous. SiriusOC, LilyJames.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 54,143 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 2/13/2013 - Published: 12/14/2008 - OC, Sirius B. - Complete
Making a Moment by monroeslittle reviews
falling in love with him isn't a big, sudden thing.
Pitch Perfect - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,790 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 72 - Published: 1/6/2013 - Jesse, Beca M. - Complete
And We All Fall Down by Rumaan reviews
The spring term at Hogwarts starts with a bang with the return of Draco Malfoy, back for his eighth year after a stint in Azkaban. But all is not right with Draco and Head Girl Hermione Granger can't help but get involved. EWE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 127,964 - Reviews: 1791 - Favs: 2,441 - Follows: 1,077 - Updated: 10/26/2012 - Published: 12/26/2011 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Maybe It's Just Me by BleedtoLoveHer reviews
My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 16 years old. I live in District 12. My best friend has just won the 74th Annual Hunger Games. AU. Rating has changed to "M".
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 87,479 - Reviews: 1340 - Favs: 2,537 - Follows: 1,502 - Updated: 7/10/2012 - Published: 1/27/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
The Mating Games by ktface3 reviews
"And so it was decreed that each year, the twelve districts of Panem shall offer up in tribute the men and women aged 18 years who have not pair bonded with a mate, to compete to be deemed worthy enough to procreate." AU, Peeta's POV, note the M rating. This fic now has a beautiful banner, made by Ro Nordmann! Copy and paste and take out the spaces: h t t p :/tinyurl . com/c99udmf
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 102,616 - Reviews: 2129 - Favs: 2,177 - Follows: 1,781 - Updated: 6/26/2012 - Published: 3/11/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E. - Complete
This or That by Shikabane-Mai reviews
On a lazy afternoon, Haymitch and Effie play this-or-that in bed. Post-Mockingjay. Fluff, lots of fluff. Hayffie.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,472 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 23 - Published: 6/8/2012 - Haymitch A., Effie T. - Complete
The Sun is Gonna Shine by monroeslittle reviews
"But whatever the reason, if you are pregnant, would it be so bad?" post-Mockingjay.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,267 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 2,114 - Follows: 234 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E. - Complete
The Season Bright by Wild Magelet reviews
Christmas, 1999. Wizarding England, had Voldemort never managed to create the horcruxes but stayed dead and buried after the attack on the Potters. Some events have unfolded a little differently. Some couples are just meant to be. Remus/Tonks AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,234 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 18 - Published: 12/23/2011 - N. Tonks, Remus L. - Complete
Threshold of a nightmare by El loopy reviews
Since her graduation, Alex hadn't seen anything that had made her faint, until this moment. Fortunately Gene is there to catch her. Gene x Alex. Oneshot. Slight AU. Rated T for gore and the colourful language of Mr Hunt.
Ashes to Ashes - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,052 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Published: 9/24/2011 - A. Drake, G. Hunt - Complete
Building Ithilien by Raider-K reviews
Post RotK story- - After the end of the War of the Ring, Legolas decides to start a new elven colony in Ithilien, but his path there proves to be anything but straight forward or simple... Now Complete and Chock full of Action & Romance!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 55 - Words: 221,324 - Reviews: 780 - Favs: 487 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 9/11/2011 - Published: 3/13/2003 - Legolas - Complete
Fuel to the Fire by PleaOfInsanity reviews
Peyton Fox; He mumbled against my lips. I sighed happily. Sirius Black was kissing... me...Wait... Sirius and me. Kissing. What the – "WA-AGH!"
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 89,772 - Reviews: 2024 - Favs: 1,304 - Follows: 474 - Updated: 7/19/2011 - Published: 10/15/2010 - OC, Sirius B. - Complete
Children of the Future by Diggs reviews
The Solo children must be hidden again for their own safety, but they get sent to the only two people who can truly protect them: Han and Leia... before they were married.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 77,271 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 285 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 3/30/2011 - Published: 12/20/2010 - Han S., Leia O. - Complete
How to tame a Marauder by melian225 reviews
Sirius was laughing. "Have you always been this funny?" he asked, an odd expression on his face. I shrugged. "Well, you know what they say. You have to watch the quiet ones." He muttered something under his breath that sounded like "Clearly."
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 62 - Words: 309,270 - Reviews: 947 - Favs: 1,051 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 1/13/2011 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Hunted by Bex-chan reviews
Forced to work together when their old schoolmates start dying, Hermione & Draco must overcome their differences to solve the mysterious deaths. The tension in the office is getting rather...heated. Mature themes. 4years PostHogwarts/War. EWE. DMHG.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 36 - Words: 191,497 - Reviews: 2273 - Favs: 4,786 - Follows: 1,137 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Of Family by theredrobin reviews
At a time when the eldest Bennet sisters should begin families of their own, life perhaps holds other things in mind along the way.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,577 - Reviews: 485 - Favs: 698 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 2/22/2010 - [Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth] [Jane, Mr. Bingley] - Complete
The Werewolf Who Stole Christmas by Lady Bracknell reviews
Remus manages to rob Tonks of her Christmas spirit, but helping her to get it back proves the catalyst for something a tad more lasting than a kiss under the mistletoe. RemusTonks romance through OOTP and HBP. Started before DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 284,222 - Reviews: 1790 - Favs: 1,210 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 12/21/2005 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy by Countess of Abe reviews
Draco loves his son more than anything in the world. So, when his ex-wife plans to take his son away, Draco asks the most unlikely person for help. Hermione must decide whether changing her entire life is worth helping the man she hates unconditionally.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 137,007 - Reviews: 3786 - Favs: 8,462 - Follows: 1,915 - Updated: 9/3/2008 - Published: 11/6/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Midnight in the House of Good and Evil by Wild Magelet reviews
On the surface, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks don't seem to have much in common. But then, on the surface, number twelve Grimmauld Place is the least romantic location in London. In an unlikely setting begins an unlikely romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 19,200 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/15/2007 - N. Tonks, Remus L. - Complete
A Christmas Dramione by mistress meo reviews
“Mistletoe! Mistletoe!” They both jumped at the sound of Peeves screeching down from the snowy ceiling above. “Look who’s been caught under the mistletoe!”.............A quiet Christmas Eve and guess who has prefect duties? ENJOY.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,808 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 732 - Follows: 73 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Passion reviews
"Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion." Post TDKR, smut, BatCat because their sex would be awesome and you know it. Bruce Wayne needs a little anger management and Selina Kyle is more than happy to provide.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,464 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 13 - Published: 8/18/2012 - Bruce W./Batman, Selina K./Catwoman - Complete
He Had Such A Cheeky Grin reviews
Following on from the final battle, sparks fly between Fred and Hermione. Why can everyone see it but them? Maybe all they need is a little push in the right direction...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,713 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 10/4/2011 - Published: 9/11/2011 - Hermione G., Fred W. - Complete
The Wedding reviews
ONE-SHOT! Draco and Hermione's wedding, simple and cute, just as it should be!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,368 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/3/2009 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Questions and Answers reviews
ONE SHOT! Draco decides that he's is going to pluck up the courage and ask Hermione out, and trust me he has ALL the answers for evey question she will throw at him...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 470 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete