REMEMBER WHEN

REMEMBER WHEN
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
MOM was your hero
and DAD was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when WAR was a card game
and life was SIMPLE and CAREFREE?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still Five Inside... No Matter How Old You Are Now.

Don't take life too seriously... No one makes it out alive anyway!

i!

Everyone, please check out my published original novel, available in paperback on , Barnes and , and for Kindle eBooks. For more information, feel free to Message me.

The Breaking of Poisonwood by Paradise Avenger.

Summary: People were dead. When Skye Davis bought me at a slave auction as a birthday present for his brother, I had no idea what my new life was going to be like, but I had never expected this. It all started when Venus de Luna was killed and I was to take her place, to become the new savior… Then, bad things happened and some people died. In the heart of the earth, we discovered the ancient being that Frank Davis had found and created and used to his advantage. The Poisonwood—

i!

Other Places to Find Me:

I have moved most of my stories to a new website because Fanfiction has become inundated with despicable trolls. You can now find my true home and my stories in their intended content on Archive of Our Own with the same penname, ParadiseAvenger. http:///users/ParadiseAvenger/pseuds/ParadiseAvenger

On Youtube at ParadiseAvenger. I post most of my videos here.

On Vimeo at ParadiseAvenger. I post Vampire Knight videos here because Youtube eats them on copyright infringement. You can find my video for the fourth chapter of Lemon Blood, Zero and Yuuki: Monster, here. Link: http:///38926899

On DeviantArt at ParadiseAvenger where I favorite the fanart people draw for my stories. It's a simple and convenient way for my readers to browse it.

Mark Serrels of Kotaku Australia wrote a short article about my Kingdom Hearts' fanfiction, Behind the Walls, and my writing. I'd love it if you'de check it out. Here's a link: http:///2012/03/behind-the-walls-pushing-the-boundaries-of-fan-fiction/

The Best!

Check out the Montana Meth Project! Their ads and commercials are the absolute best at showing the true face of Meth! Visit the site and pass on the word! http:///

Dearlybelovedangel (aka Summerstream247 on Youtube) made this video for my Kingdom Hearts story, Behind the Walls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrfl3j7VbPA

SakuraSou1307 (aka Sourin on DeviantArt) drew some fanart for my Tsubasa Reservior Chronicle story, His Body in Chains. Link to her profile on DeviantArt: http:///gallery/ but for some reason I cannot link to the actual art. You can copy and paste the links here or just browse through her gallery looking for these artworks:

- “Alone” – http:///gallery/#/d2tjmim

- “Back to You” – http:///gallery/#/d2tllna

- “Butterfly” – http:///gallery/#/d2tjlxd

- “For ParadiseAvenger” – http:///gallery/#/d2sv2oc

- “Hydrangea” – http:///gallery/#/d2tjm9r

Milo Elatti (aka MiloElatti on DeviantArt) drew some fanart for my Shugo Chara story, Deafening Silence. Link to her profile on DeviantArt: http:/// or you can copy and paste the link below.

- "I'll try to get us out of this" – (this is filed under mature so you'll need an account to view it, but it's not frightening so don't worry) http:///#/d54qno5

Zetsumei-Dragunov drew some fanart for my story Behind the Walls. Link to their profile on DeviantArt: http:/// but for some reason I cannot link to the actual art. You can copy and paste the links here of just browse through the gallery looking for these artworks:

- "Sora and Kairi WIP" - http:///#/d4aal2o

- "Kairi and Jon" - (this one is filed under Mature so you'll need an account to see it, but it's not scary, don't worry) http:///#/d4ap6p6

Favorite books:

Jennifer Armintrout's Blood Ties series, anything by Francesca Lia Block especially Echo, Howl's Moving Castle (Yes, it's also a book), Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, everything by Dean Koontz especially Phantoms

Favorite manga/animes:

Tsubasa Reservior Chronicle, Immortal Rain, Wolf's Rain, Rurouni Kenshin, Bizenghast, Le Portrait de Petit Cossette, Ghost Hunt, Claymore, Darker than Black, Vampire Knight, Soul Eater, Skyhigh Karma, RG Veda, Kodocha (Child's Toy or Kodomo no Omacha), Samurai Champloo, InuYasha, Shugo Chara! (for Ikuto only), Princess Tutu, Tarot Cafe, The Dreaming

Great stuff:

The Illusionist (movie), Fatal Frame I, II, and III (video games), All About Steve (movie), Train's "Drops of Jupiter," "Soul Sister," and "Her Eyes" (music), Haunting Ground (video game), Alice: Madness Returns (video game)

Bad stuff:

People who Favorite stories, but don't review! Twilight series and anything resembling it. FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, etc...

What my mother taught me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Quotes:

If you are a dreamer, come in.
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hoper, a pray-er, a magic-bean-buyer,
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!
-Shel Silverstein

Writing is a lot like sex. At first, you do it because you like it. Then, you find yourself doing it for a few close friends and people you like. But if you're any good at all... you end up doing it for money.

Forgive your enemies... Nothing annoys them so much!

I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, please keep me here.

If "Plan A" didn't work, the alphabet has twenty-five more letters so stay cool. Once you get to "Plan Z" and it's still not working, then you can panic.

Best friends are aware of how stupid you are, but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Most learn by observation. Some learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually touch the fire to see if it's hot.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

We're not retreating! We're advancing in another direction!

Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Handyman's law: cut to fit, beat into place.

He who talks by the yard and thinks by the inch deserves to be kicked by the foot.

Work now, make others work later.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Speaking in front of a crowd is the number one fear for an average person. Number two is death. That means if you have to be at a funeral, you'd rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Men think one of three things at any given time: I want a sandwich, I want a woman, or I want a woman who can make me a sandwich.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Women inherit the Earth!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It’s just weird when you lose.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Its always in the last place you look... Of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after you found it?

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

You never grow up... You just learn how to behave in public.

"Hello and welcome to Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press one repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone else to press two for you. If you have multiple personalities, press three, four, five, six, and seven. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want so please stay on the line and we will trace your call. If you are delusional press, eight and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and the small voice will tell you what number to press. If you are dyslexic, please press six and nine. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter what button you press because no one will answer. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self esteem hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk to you. Thank you for calling."

Standard disclaimer: I own nothing except my original characters and my original plotlines. No copyright infringement intended. Thank you!