Dragon Firefang
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Joined 07-10-09, id: 2002158, Profile Updated: 10-03-11
Author has written 3 stories for Code Lyoko, Black Cat, and Fullmetal Alchemist.

Hey, Zena here! I'm not going to say much besides I am an avid writer and a beta reader.

If you've ever snapped your fingers like Roy Mustang and wished flames would appear, copy this and put it on your profile.
If you've ever attempted alchemy by clapping your hands or drawing an array, copy and paste this into your profile.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.

The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisudessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowentairon: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On NytolSleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Awh, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).

On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos!: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special)?

On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children” (I should bloody well hope so!)

Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"(That means you, Hulk! Put that bloody aeroplane down, you might drop it!)

Scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (Again, I should bloody well hope so!)

Baby Oil-"Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!)

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeah. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae)

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!)

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." (Did someone do this once...?)

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Duh. Sherlock)

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Paved with Good Intentions: Blue Eyes, Violet Eyes by Iced Blood reviews
Side-chapters and scenes for the "Paved with Good Intentions" universe, expanding on the themes of the main story in bite-sized chunks.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 81 - Words: 139,109 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 3/11/2019 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Mokuba K., S. Kaiba
Paved with Good Intentions by Iced Blood reviews
Life for the Kaiba brothers turned upside down when magic entered into the equation. But what happens after magic leaves? When the king from Ancient Egypt goes off to the afterlife, and everything turns mundane again, how can the Kaibas reclaim their lives? Who else will become embroiled in it? And most importantly, how long will it take to heal?
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 202,505 - Reviews: 434 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 8/18/2018 - Published: 8/19/2008 - K. Jounouchi/Joey W., Mokuba K., S. Kaiba - Complete
Bonds of Honor by ObsidianJade reviews
Direct sequel to Red Duty, Black Honor. Life - and love - continue, but a familiar face from the past has a storm brewing on the horizon... Bya/Ren and Ichi/Ruki main pairings.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 35 - Words: 199,916 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 267 - Updated: 9/22/2016 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Byakuya K., Renji A.
Folie à deux by Sychronergy reviews
"Lawliet," Doctor Light Yagami said firmly, "There is no Mu. There is no Death Note. You're in a hospital – a mental hospital." AU/Alternative Ending.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,733 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 11/5/2015 - Published: 2/24/2012 - Light Y., L - Complete
Wake Me Up When This Chaos Ends by Feni reviews
In a world where Pokemon have turned against humans and even their own kind, Red breaks. Green is the only one left to pick up the pieces.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,200 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 8/8/2015 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Red, Blue O./Green O. (male)
Heavens Honor by lugia flyhight reviews
The Codex Bellum is a law that dictates that all angelic warriors follow the creed - Mind, Law and Discipline. No angel in the union of the hell-guard was permitted to act intimately with another. Let alone a horseman of the Charred Counsel. Constructive criticism much appreciative. Uriel x War
Darksiders - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/19/2014 - Complete
444 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do in Amestris by Do a Barrel Roll reviews
There are lots of things you shouldn't do if you want to survive in Amestris...too bad our favorite characters are going to do it all anyway. The country can use all the chaos it can get! How many headaches can one group of people cause? Let's find out!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 37,896 - Reviews: 1319 - Favs: 636 - Follows: 472 - Updated: 4/9/2014 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Edward E., Roy M., Alphonse E., Riza H.
Cracking Kuchiki by Quillest reviews
A bet between Renji and his friends turns into an all-out battle involving Seireitei. The prize? Unequaled bragging rights and a huge pot. The risk? Their jobs, possibly their lives. The task? Get Kuchiki Byakuya to completely lose his composure. WIP
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 27,694 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 10/1/2013 - Published: 9/15/2011 - Rukia K., Byakuya K., Renji A.
Embracing the Alternative by sadistickunais reviews
Okay, chapter 2 is finally here. It's short. It's pretty simple at this point. Maya/Zero pairing. Will becoming longer eventually.
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,064 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 9/16/2013 - Published: 10/18/2012 - [Zer0, Maya] Salvador, Axton
Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses) by BitterBean reviews
It all started during character creation, when the assassin decided to play as the mechromancer and the mechromancer decided to play as the assassin.
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,653 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 8/13/2013 - Published: 7/18/2013 - Zer0, Gaige
A Bickering of Sorts by Shadow Oblivion reviews
War was simply not in the mood for Death's sarcasm, while Fury and Strife aren't quite sure what to think of their brothers' predicament. Dust, being a crow and therefore uninvolved in the matters of the Riders, doesn't care one way or another, so long as his meal of dead demon is not disturbed.
Darksiders - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,076 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/17/2013 - Complete
If Wishes Were Bullets by xxmisfit121 reviews
A collection of one-shots and short stories about how Death the Kid and the Thompson sisters' relationship evolves. No pairings. T for language.
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 89,166 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 6/22/2012 - Published: 8/13/2011 - Death The Kid, Elizabeth T./Liz
The Heroic Villain by Kylar's-Apprentice reviews
A year has passed since the Titans first assembled, however a new villain has emerged who creates havoc the Titans have never experienced. But is this villain truly evil, or simply misguided? RaeBB, RobStar, CyBee. Reviews encouraged!
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,833 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/21/2012 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Robin, Slade
The Death of a God by Turiel528 reviews
Lord Death passes on and now Kid has to deal with it. Told in Kid's perspective. One-shot.
Soul Eater - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,441 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/20/2012 - Death The Kid, Lord Death/Shinigami-sama - Complete
Honorable by WinterFire29 reviews
In a warrior's last moments of life, what will his final thoughts be? The people who made him into who he is, the place he came from, and his journey to realizing that he's become the man he always wanted to be. Renji/Rukia, Ichigo/Bya/Ren moments.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,951 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Renji A., Byakuya K. - Complete
Rant to Recovery by miladyRanger reviews
Al worries about his Brother all the time, but most especially during the week of October 3rd. FMA Day oneshot.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,246 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/3/2011 - Alphonse E. - Complete
Life Shall Go for Life by Iced Blood reviews
Oneshot: While his brother is grieving a loss unlike anything he's ever known, Seto Kaiba does what he's always done: faces it with a deadly combination of cold pragmatism and white-hot fury.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,135 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/20/2011 - Mokuba K., S. Kaiba - Complete
Of Rain and Rivers by MidnightDeception reviews
Kuchiki Byakuya can't sleep. Urged into action by a feeling of unease, he finds he's not the only one who can't rest at night. What secret has Abarai been hiding all these years? ByaRen, posted in three parts.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,662 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 1/6/2011 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Byakuya K., Renji A. - Complete
Sakura Petals and Thin Mints by MidnightDeception reviews
Byakuya's peaceful day is thrown into turmoil by his loud, obnoxious, amazing vice-captain. Things happen, leaving Byakuya confused about Renji. Maybe Ukitake can help...ByaRen fluff.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,430 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Byakuya K., Renji A. - Complete
Red Duty, Black Honor by ObsidianJade reviews
It was inevitable, he realized, as he settled the white haori across his shoulders. Time progressed, change happened, and life went on. The intertwining lives of the Shinigami in post-War Seireitei. Slow-burn ByaRen and other pairings.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 125,861 - Reviews: 501 - Favs: 516 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 6/30/2010 - Published: 1/13/2010 - Byakuya K., Renji A. - Complete
Trick or Treat by Kitt Chaos reviews
It's not Kaiba's fault uninvited guests crash the VR Halloween event Kaiba Corporation is hosting for some of the most disadvantaged children. Or, is it? No pairings. The only violence is to Kaiba's dignity.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,453 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/25/2009 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Dark Magician/Black Magician, Mokuba K., S. Kaiba - Complete
Eternal by ibuberu reviews
He knows, understands, and treasures. He is the bravest soul of them all. — Death the Kid.
Soul Eater - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,803 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Death The Kid - Complete
A Series of Tales Full of Hilariousness by RadicalEd57 reviews
A multiple chapter fic of the Bleach people and their high school adventures. Horribly cliche, but original! Shounen ai/yaoi, het, multiple pairings, CRACK, AU. I'm not really into writing AUs anymore, but I'll still update this. Gin's still pranking!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 79,450 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/1/2009 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Ichigo K., Uryuu I.
Just Because by Iced Blood reviews
Oneshot: Camping with the Kaibas. What more could you possibly need to know?
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,311 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/21/2007 - S. Kaiba, Mokuba K. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fear Everlasting reviews
The military has come up with a new psychological test that everyone has to pass in order to remain in service, but people have died taking it so the danger is very real. Can Roy survive the test in his already weakened state because of Riza's death? Slight Roy/OC.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,424 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Roy M. - Complete
Interwoven reviews
It was a normal day, but when the bounty office is closed and their hotel room ends up exploding... perhaps more is going on than meets the eye. Now they have to figure out what is going on before they all get killed. Train/OC
Black Cat - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,892 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Train H., Sven V.
Midnight Rising reviews
When Odd enters Lyoko to investigate some strange sightings, he runs into a creature that none of them have seen before. What new things will she bring to their world, and will they be good?
Code Lyoko - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,238 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/20/2011 - Odd D.