lee-uhm
hide bio
Poll: I've got some finished Hetalia fiction. Should I put it up here? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
beta: β Beta Profile
Joined 07-12-09, id: 2004508, Profile Updated: 03-18-10
Author has written 3 stories for D.Gray-Man, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.

MOST OF MY WRITING STUFF IS ON LIAMLANE, my LJ.

NAME: Liam. Zai. Whatever you want to call me. 'Overlord Pengis' is also accepted.
AGE:
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese." - Billie Burke. 17, anyway.
GENDER: I'll go check. Ask again later. edit: I DISCOVERED A PENIS.
ORIENTATION: I don't judge love, bby. Feel free to hit on me.
LIKES: Anything that doesn't annoy me. edit: I love you, you sexy beast.
DISLIKES: Anything that annoys me.

Something amazing I learned from someone elses profile. (No, I do not stalk other people profiles. DD: ...occassionally. BUT ONLY WHEN THEY REVIEW. I mean. Uh. Shit. Nanana.) But. Subtext = BUTTSEX. WTFUCK.

Things I Honestly Believe About Writing/Will never do/attempt AND a list of random stuff that involves my writing:

1. Rape. One word. I don't want that word in my stories unless it's in a joking teenage boy sentence of, "You just raped me!" "Stop whining like a bitch. It's only a headshot." "RAPIST." And such. Most rape fics I read are horribly written, and are usually a minor point an author throws in just to make it more dramatic or lay the stepping stones for another plot idea. There are some good ones out there, and I applaud them. A lot.

2. School AUs. Actually, this carries over to a lot of different AUs. Maybe AUs in general. I believe there are two things an AU can be. Either brilliant, amazing, awe-inspiring, breathtaking. Or it can be complete and utter shit. -- I have actually been writing a lot of AUs. I wonder if I meet my own standards. The ideas sound nicer in my head. I've been thinking about a school AU of some sort.

3. I have high standards of stories. Usually. Sometimes I just follow a story for the plot because I liked it/I'm somehow having an off day.

4. I give short reviews for the most part. God. You have NO idea how hard it is for me to write a long review. Seriously. I try though. I really do.

5. Japanese words in a story confuse me.

Zaiyle: The User's Guide and Instruction Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a ZAIYLE unit! So that you may reap in the full benefits of owning this charming figure, please read these instructions carefully, and follow them closely, for not doing so will result in a very volatile ZAIYLE unit, and possible crack story-overload.

Basic Information:

Name: Zaiyle/Liam/Li/Zai

Age: 17

Place of Manufacture: California

Height: 5'10"/177.8cm

Weight: 138.5lbs

Module Type: Writer

Your ZAIYLE unit will come with the following accessories:

A white t-shirt with paint stains

Crappy laptop that overheats when not put near a fan

Bad eyesight

Gray jeans

iPod with only 500+ songs

Old stuffed TY Tiger

A deck of cards

When you first receive your ZAIYLE unit, he will be social, ditsy, and confused. He may also seem to be friendly to the point where he’s flirtatious. Engage your ZAIYLE unit in conversation, it should stop his default flirting setting. It will take a bit of time before he starts acting serious though. ZAIYLE units are not meant for high strung people or children that require babysitting. ZAIYLE units are also not meant to handle money, as the ZAIYLE unit is almost always broke. Also, if you have an ASSHOLE figure or BLUNTLY BITCHY figure, it is slightly advised not to purchase a ZAIYLE figure, but that's optional. The ZAIYLE unit is adaptable to most other units.

Programming:

Your ZAIYLE unit is an extremely social unit that adapts well with many situations, but it can be a mildly intelligent unit at times too. As such, he has many useful programs:

Socialite: Your ZAIYLE unit's default function. The ZAIYLE unit is adaptable with almost any person, and can strike up a conversation almost anywhere. This is a very useful program whereas your unit can help you acquire new connections, as well as introduce you around to many new people. The ZAIYLE unit is a excellent people-person, and his charisma keeps him smiling. The ZAIYLE unit is never afraid to talk or comment.

Flirt: One of the more interesting functions on the ZAIYLE unit. The ZAIYLE figure's social abilities have the tendency to switch into overdrive, thus turning on the FLIRTfunction. In this stage, it is hard to tell whether the ZAIYLE figure is just playing around or seriously interested. The ZAIYLE unit has several past experiences in different styles of seduction, but usually stays with the simple flirt option. The FLIRT function is a sensitive program, as it can cause trouble for not only the ZAIYLE unit, but the user too. Use wisely.

Amateur Card Shark: This is a new function just recently installed in the latest ZAIYLE units. The AMATEUR CARD SHARK program on your ZAIYLE unit is a great way to pass the time, or even make some money. (however this is not recommended considering it has not been perfected.) ZAIYLE comes with a deck of cards, which he uses to amuse himself when on standby, or just to practice his skills. It is an always developing function, and can be stunted by any injuries to his hands. The AMATEUR CARD SHARK program usually kicks in when the ZAIYLE unit is around the OLDER BROTHER unit.

Fanboy: The ZAIYLE unit has many loves. Most of which he fanboys over intensely. In this program, you and your ZAIYLE unit can talk for hours about something. Whether it be an anime, a manga, a game, or something random, the ZAIYLE unit will enthusiastically converse with you about it. The ZAIYLE unit's FANBOY function can be seen as a harmless but more severe version of the socialite.

Your ZAIYLE unit comes with 12 different modes:

Playful(default)
Sleepy(default)
Sweet and polite
Civil and polite
Innocent and naive
Mildly seductive
Passionate and competitive
Psychotic and critical
Blunt and harsh
Puppy-helpful
Protective
Serious and silent
Stupidly furious

Please note: Your ZAIYLE unit's two default features, playful and sleepy, tend to overlap.

Troubleshooting

Problem: My ZAIYLE unit won't update his stories!
Solution:
The ZAIYLE unit has a lack of motivation, and therefore needs much attention to keep himself going. Reviews, favorites, subscriptions, and random private messages should fix that.

Problem: The ZAIYLE unit didn't respond to my review!
Solution:
The ZAIYLE unit responds to reviews that interest him.

Problem: My ZAIYLE figure is freaking out and talking to no one. Should I be worried?
Solution:
No. He's talking to the muses that stay in his head.

Problem: He bit me!
Solution:
He tends to do that. Don't worry. The ZAIYLE unit has all his shots.

FAQ

Q: Can I say hi?
A:
Of course! The ZAIYLE unit is a very social person, and is willing to talk to almost anyone.

Q: Can I do a collaboration with the ZAIYLE unit?
A:
It depends if he likes how you write.

Q: Can I add him to my msn/aim?
A:
Ask him. The ZAIYLE unit only gives it to special people, though.

Thank you for purchasing your very own ZAIYLE unit!

-busts a move and poofs-

...angry rain sex, anyone?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

You Can't Take the Sky from Me by EverythingIsMagic reviews
Ace pilot America is on a mission for the World Military when a chance encounter with a group of sky-pirates leads him to team up with their captain, England, against a malevolent group that wants to fill the sky with zeppelins. USxUK- Steampunk AU
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 113,083 - Reviews: 1668 - Favs: 2,307 - Follows: 2,038 - Updated: 8/18/2013 - Published: 3/2/2009 - America, England/Britain
For Tea by allPod reviews
The Order must put up with its unwanted, new ally the Fourteenth; his charms and attempts to pacify the Exorcists regardless of his role in Allen's death were all in vain...for a while. Slight AU. Set after L4 attack on HQ, before Timothy and Child Thief.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 57,684 - Reviews: 614 - Favs: 444 - Follows: 400 - Updated: 6/17/2010 - Published: 8/28/2009 - Allen Walker, Neah
Magic Trick by Jenny Max reviews
England discovers that a magic trick from America is not magic.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,106 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/19/2010 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Quills by Kutsushita-Socks reviews
The Treaty of Paris 1783, in which England is not entirely sane. Oneshot.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 998 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/27/2009 - England/Britain, America - Complete
Eight Years by hellnoplsno183948543 reviews
//9/11 tribute// It was almost as if he deserved it.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,329 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/20/2009 - America, England/Britain - Complete
My Silent Language by Sora Blade707 reviews
Sign language is a very beautiful language in Arthur's eyes. USxUK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 435 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/17/2009 - America, England/Britain - Complete
The Boston Massacre by Lady Charity reviews
After that one night, things were never the same between them. England and America in the Boston Massacre
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,369 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 25 - Published: 10/15/2009 - England/Britain, America - Complete
Never Did Run Smooth by fantacination reviews
The many misadventures of Elliot Nightray as he tries to woo one heir of Vessalius. Wherein Elliot is desperate, Oz is oblivious, and Reo's trashy romance novels aren't helping at all. Elliot/Oz , cracky humor fun.
Pandora Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,202 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 22 - Published: 9/30/2009 - Elliot N., Oz V. - Complete
Capslock by smokingace reviews
The one where Lavi and Kanda are in high school and have AIM messenger to talk about such very important things. High School AU series.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,801 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 36 - Published: 9/7/2009 - Lavi, Kanda Yuu - Complete
fireEscape by OyaSUMi-heart reviews
Laven Week Contribution Two boys on a New York City rooftop, feet dangling with feared anticipation, eyes constantly looking through the black metal vines of countless fire escapes counting what's left of worth. Angsty.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,295 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Lavi, Allen Walker
Boys Will Conquer by Mirakuru Rein reviews
AU, Highschool setting. "We rule the school. But who rules you?" Lavi is the mischief-maker of the prestigious Black Order Institution, but his dues will soon be paid. Slight LavixKanda in store for ya.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,021 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 6/2/2008
Latent Heat by Amethyst Amore reviews
Hidden desires don't stay hidden for very long. Lavi/Lenalee, Kanda/Allen.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,775 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/13/2008 - Lenalee Lee, Lavi - Complete
Shadowmen by smokingace reviews
Link is but a mere shadow in Allen's presence, haunting and perverse.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,712 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/25/2008 - Howard Link, Allen Walker - Complete
A Game of Chess by SaiyukiSucker reviews
Allen and Kanda play a game. Lavi and Lenalee misunderstand.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu - Complete
When Choosing an Alias by hibari-tan reviews
Kanda gets his kicks. Lavi is not amused.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,254 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/2/2008 - Lavi, Kanda Yuu - Complete
The Skirt is the Sword's Natural Enemy by Guttersnipe reviews
“You’ve got Kanda all hot and bothered, Lenalee!” Allen practically shouted, desperation upon his face. “You have to stay away from him! Look! Here’s a nice janitor’s closet; just hide in here for a few minu—uh—years, until he cools down.” Crack!KandaLena
D.Gray-Man - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,685 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Complete
Angelus by sirbartonslady reviews
Sequel to "Je Vis en Espoir": With the Vatican suspicious of Allen's fidelity to their cause, the Order struggles to protect its newest Critical. Meanwhile, Allen and Lavi reach a landmark turning point in their relationship. LEMON in final chapter.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 49,091 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/29/2008 - Published: 4/5/2008 - Allen Walker, Lavi - Complete
Five Stolen Kisses by Flareons reviews
a.k.a. Five Times That Lavi Managed to Steal a Kiss From Kanda.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 979 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Complete
Mana by artbug reviews
Mana Walker is 36 and leading an average life, living in a small apartment, lusting after his secretary and hating his job. His life will be changed forever when he finds a boy hiding in an alley.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 43 - Words: 139,720 - Reviews: 966 - Favs: 656 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 9/25/2007 - Published: 3/19/2007 - Complete
Innocent Attraction by Flareons reviews
Allen and his Innocence find a new way to connect after being torn apart for the first time. InnocenceAllen. Smut.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,612 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 18 - Published: 4/2/2007 - Complete
Breathe Life by Nanaki BH reviews
[LavixAllen] Lavi wakes up with a killer headache and some missing memories of what happened the night before.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,540 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/26/2007 - Complete
Carded Friendship by Flareons reviews
While visiting with Mana in Portugal, Allen wanders off and meets someone unexpected. Young!Allen
D.Gray-Man - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,151 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 45 - Published: 3/25/2007 - Complete
Laptops and Sex Talks by Flareons reviews
Rabi wants to show Allen something interesting and gets more than he bargained for. RabiAllen friendship. Discussion of TykiAllen.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,571 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/25/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Inexperienced Assets reviews
There's a gun slung on the holster on his hip as he nurses the growing bruise, finding refuge in the dark alleyway others usually stray away from. And then Braginski appears. Bitter betrayal sucks, so does getting shot.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,052 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2010 - America, Russia - Complete
Bubbles
It's just another late Saturday night at Matthew's house, when they break out that little bag of "stuff" from under the couch sofa. And Alfred likes bubbles. Slight AU.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2010 - America, Canada - Complete
Information Please reviews
Go up four flights of stairs. Through the doors and down the hall of rooms. Take a left at the lukewarm water dispenser, and broken soda machines. Forty steps exactly, and it's just another cubicle. And just another bored worker. Meet Lavi. AU//Lavenish
D.Gray-Man - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,884 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/6/2009 - Lavi, Allen Walker - Complete