Femme Bono
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Joined 07-13-09, id: 2005974, Profile Updated: 08-23-13
Author has written 15 stories for Harry Potter, Die Hard, Supernatural, and Big Bang Theory.

All the members of my celebrity harem:

John Cusack
Alan Rickman
Jason Isaacs
Bruce Willis
Richard Speight Jr
Jim Parsons
and Bono

...obviously most of my fanfics are HP, but I do find myself branching out these days. I blame early exposure to Moonlighting and Bruce Willis' smirk, and now my sister getting me hooked on Supernatural and TBBT.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Elegant Universe by Nyx Underwood reviews
When Sheldon achieves his dream of illuminating the workings of the universe, he realises that his greatest challenge is to understand the world around him. A story of growing up and discovering something you never expected. Sheldon/Penny. AU after 3x01
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 115,348 - Reviews: 483 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 660 - Updated: 2/28 - Published: 3/31/2012 - Sheldon C., Penny
The Progeny Conundrum by texican2436 reviews
What happens when you see the person you have been waiting to meet your whole life? you lie of course. How does Sheldon deal with an unexpected addition to his life all while navigating a new relationship with Penny? As Sheldon's life takes a suddent turn and a dificult past comes back he has to find a way to be the person he was meant to be. Chapter 36 is up P/S L/Pr H/B OC
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 150,860 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 302 - Updated: 2/18 - Published: 3/9/2012 - Sheldon C., Penny
The LipGloss Admission by FairDrea reviews
Dr. Sheldon Cooper has a reason for not wanting Amy to wear lip-gloss. One that has nothing to do with how slippery it looks.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,837 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 2/9 - Published: 1/12 - Penny, Sheldon C.
The Vicisviator Agreement by iColor With Crayons reviews
Sheldon Cooper has found a way to change his life, as well as those surrounding him. Will he take a chance he has thought about for years? Will a slightly altercation render life as he knows it meaningless? **Shenny**
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 54,630 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 11/10/2013 - Published: 9/27/2013 - Sheldon C., Rajesh K., Penny, Amy Farrah Fowler - Complete
The Ravenwood Culmination by LibbyMay reviews
A Sheldon/Penny romance story. When the outcome of Sheldon and Amy's disagreement over a beloved movie classic results in their breakup, it's Penny to the rescue and even she's not prepared for what happens next. SPOILERS revolving around next Thursday's episode (I got inspired while watching the preview and the idea just wouldn't leave me alone lol). Rated T for now.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,057 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 10/27/2013 - Published: 10/7/2013 - Penny, Sheldon C.
I wish by GalexyQuest reviews
A man and a woman who finds answers in each other. One shot fluff.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,307 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/11/2013 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
Hungry Thirsty Crazy by Sinister Papaya Fondue reviews
The wizarding world is abuzz over a controversial new book by an anonymous author. Hermione accidentally discovers who that author is, and it might change her life - and his - forever...LM/HG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 271,791 - Reviews: 988 - Favs: 841 - Follows: 803 - Updated: 10/9/2013 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Hermione G., Lucius M.
The Aphrodisiac Ramification Quandary by Jan of Arc reviews
Following on from my o/s 'The Synthetic Desire Experiment' - In the cold light of day, what are the repercussions of Amy messing with forces she had no control over? Guilt, confusion and Planned Parenthood ... oh my! Rated M in case things get sweary, sexy or Violent. Pairings: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,394 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 8/27/2013 - Published: 9/15/2012 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
Karma by CMW2 reviews
POST S2 AU:For every action, there are consequences to be faced. After the Arctic implodes the group, everyone has to pick up the pieces and move on. Penny will make this easier for Sheldon;Rated for language and future spice;6th in my 2012 SSS Project;NOW COMPLETE!
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 30,580 - Reviews: 556 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 2/2/2013 - Published: 4/10/2012 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
Voided Agreements by Risknight reviews
Penny and Sheldon are no longer friends. So who will help him when his world suddenly falls apart?
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,816 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 1/12/2013 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
The Stress Reduction Endeavor by Risknight reviews
When I re-watched The Euclid Alternative, I got bit by a naughty muse. Penny helps Sheldon get rid of the stress brought on by him trying to learn how to drive. Warning! Definitely smutty.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,427 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 21 - Published: 12/17/2012 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
A SLOW RIDE TO ANARCHY by Tribeca reviews
The gang of seven take a vacation together and Sheldon discovers the hippie lifestyle may not be so bad after all. *complete*
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,154 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 12/12/2012 - Published: 10/30/2012 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
AFTER DECEMBER by Tribeca reviews
Long after Saturnalia has passed, the mistletoe still hangs, feelings are revealed and good times and improper grammar ensue. One Shot.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,773 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 16 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
The Inappropriateness of Sheldon Cooper by MyOwnStar reviews
A Cinco de Mayo party brings out a naughty side of Sheldon Penny isn't prepared for...and can't resist. Story challenge with Tjay M. ALTERNATE ENDINGS included!
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,923 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/4/2012 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
Wednesday Routine by Eternal Contradiction reviews
"Come to bed, Kitten," he demanded in a sleepy voice.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,935 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 65 - Published: 2/25/2012 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
Change of Address Or Fic for Andrea by TempestJo reviews
When Sheldon moves out, life changes. Rated T for now. *changed to slight M for chapter 12 and chapter 17
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 13,891 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 398 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 12/20/2011 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
The Enthrallment Variable by Concupiscence66 reviews
Penny thinks she's found the perfect girl for Sheldon. Rated M for later chapters.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 19,682 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 11/30/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
Damned by BlaqkHysteria reviews
Christine thought she was just a regular creature of the night, before a certain archangel showed at her door telling her a completely different story. Gabriel/OC
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,130 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/3/2011 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Gabriel - Complete
The Libido Revelation by The Frisky Firelily reviews
Whilst sneaking into the boys apartment one night Penny makes an interesting discovery. Rating increased for smut.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,834 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 396 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
Polyandry and Other Problems by refya reviews
A magical plague strikes the wizarding world, decimating the female population. The Wizengamot sees a revolutionary new marriage law as the only way to repopulate their dying world. Hermione, Severus and Lucius Malfoy get caught up in the consequences.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 143,089 - Reviews: 772 - Favs: 641 - Follows: 521 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 3/28/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Prank Wars by Eternal Contradiction reviews
It started with something Penny hadn't intended to be a prank and then escalated into so much more. With the tension between Sheldon and Penny, one of them has to break first.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,243 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 12/15/2010 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
Proving it by TempestJo reviews
Penny and Sheldon, after the date with Amy.. slightly M.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,142 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 22 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
The Aberrant Conflagration Affair by danakate reviews
Oneshot. PWP except, dude, I can't write fic without at least *some* plot. And the more I wrote, the more plot happened. I'M SORRY. Penny, Sheldon, formal wear, an oopsie, and smut. I apologize for the sap.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,538 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 16 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
The Galahad Principle by Chezzles.ze.Great reviews
DARK!FIC. Plenty of angst. A foray out of the sit-com world. Penny is attacked and reaches out for Sheldon's help.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 58,299 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 340 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 1/13/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C.
Hermione's Choice by Sgt. Hakeswill reviews
Post-DH, AU. Hermione must decide what to do with her life after Ron is killed in the battle of Hogwarts. Lucius seeks to rehabilitate his reputation in a post-Voldemort world. A chance meeting eventually leads them to a common path. COMPLETE! Author formerly known as SlytherinDragoon.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 97 - Words: 182,361 - Reviews: 1773 - Favs: 391 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 10/13/2009 - Published: 5/13/2008 - Hermione G., Lucius M. - Complete
The Gilded Cage by ApollinaV reviews
Clever Miss Hermione Granger believes that by marrying Azkaban prisoner 11652 she can effectively skirt the new Ministry Marriage Law requirements. A story about morality, mortality, and pickled walnuts.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 62 - Words: 203,885 - Reviews: 3292 - Favs: 1,941 - Follows: 767 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
The Loss Hypothesis by starfish001 reviews
Penny suffers a loss and it raises some strong feelings in the group. Angst, rated M for potential sauciness and slightly adult themes. My second attempt at fanfic. As before, reviews very much appreciated! Now with a teeny epilogue.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,008 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
You don't know what you do to me by starfish001 reviews
Penny and Sheldon, one shot smut in a car park. That's about it, really. Missing scene from The Grasshopper Experiment. Just written and posted, sorry for any mistakes...
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,577 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
5 times Sheldon gets a ride from Penny by PrincessButtercup83 reviews
and 1 time he returns the favor. Written because I apparently smoke a lot of crack.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,715 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
The Duplicity Hypothesis by MrsVincentCrabbe reviews
COMPLETE: How do you betray your best friend? With Stetson hats and perfume like sunshine. Written for Paradox's Fiction Friday/Smutty Saturday prompt: rodeo, laundry, perfume, and confession.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,704 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
Wanted: Roommate Normal Need Not Apply by PrincessButtercup83 reviews
This is where I would write a summary, but I'm going to make you read it to find out what it's about. Ha!
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,823 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 16 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
A Comedy of Manors by Mundungus42 reviews
Lucius hires Hermione, a marriage consultant, to find a bride for Severus, secretly scheming to pair them up. What he gets is a bit more than he bargained for. LM/HG.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,731 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 23 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Hermione G., Lucius M. - Complete
The Traveller by Somigliana reviews
Hermione has deviated from an obvious life. She has moved down a challenging and divergent, but ultimately lonely, path. She meets Severus Snape by chance one day, and she has some difficult choices to make.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,647 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Sensual Cellular Similarity by DesertDragon reviews
A sexy, accidental text becomes the cause of some unaccountable behavior. Penny/Sheldon, all characters. Rated PG-13 The M rating is for Ch. 2 only.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,463 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 4/11/2009 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
FIRST, CATCH YOUR SLYTHERIN by Demented Amanuensis reviews
Is the new Marriage Law a recipe for disaster or happiness? Hermione Granger first has to catch her Slytherin, and then she'll find out. But why does she choose Lucius Malfoy, of all the unlikely candidates?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 39,387 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 64 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Hermione G., Lucius M. - Complete
BLANK PAGE by Demented Amanuensis reviews
Post-war, DH compliant, EWE. Severus Snape is making a life selling illicit potions and blackmailing people. Hermione wants to save him from himself and enlists Lucius's help. Written for a prompt by shiv5468, more HGLM than HGSS
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 29,488 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/7/2008 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Rules of Pureblood Courtship by Demented Amanuensis reviews
Hermione has had a crush on Lucius Malfoy since he saved her life. When a unique opportunity presents itself, she chooses to act. So does Crookshanks, her familiar.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,247 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 294 - Follows: 29 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Hermione G., Lucius M. - Complete
Blasphemous Rumours by Marston Chicklet reviews
During the final battle, Hermione accidentally saves the life of Lucius Malfoy. In order to free himself of the life debt, he finds himself helping her seek revenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,408 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 12 - Published: 4/22/2007 - Hermione G., Lucius M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Gravity reviews
Set during the current season (7) and about to go AU with a quickness! Shenny-centric, but with other non-canon pairings. Rated for possible later chapters.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,369 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 11/18/2013 - Published: 10/19/2013 - Sheldon C., Penny
Collide, or, The CooperBallard Convergence reviews
Whitney Ballard is a jaded military vet who has met many people in her life, but none of them have prepared her for Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD. Just a touch of a songfic here, which was the inspiration. SC/OFC -sorry Shamy and Shenny shippers... (Rated for later chapters.) COMPLETE
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,608 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 9/22/2013 - Published: 8/22/2013 - Sheldon C., OC - Complete
A Gift for a Lotus reviews
Years past the Deathly Hallows and final battle, a couple find that their old way of life held nothing and a new way of life begins on all fronts. Rated for later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,008 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/4/2013 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Hermione G., Lucius M.
Helen reviews
A sorceress is guided to use a bit of necromancy to bring back those who would kill the Leviathans. AU, Gabriel/OC het pairing. Rated M for later chapters.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,537 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 4/5/2012 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Gabriel
Corrective Action reviews
How season 6 should have ended when Castiel/Raphael's war got out of hand. NO pairings. Sam, Dean, Castiel, Crowley, Raphael, Bobby.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,144 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/29/2012 - Castiel, Dean W. - Complete
Deep Roots reviews
An American traces back her birth family to England, only to find a heritage she shares and a love she had barely met. Warnings: non HBP/DH compliant, Lemons, Limes, Violence. Rated for later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,354 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/10/2012 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Severus S., OC
A Better Fate reviews
Snape is saved from death and finds himself in a whole other world. Rated M for later chapters. SS/OFC, HG/OMC.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,476 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/1/2012 - Published: 6/18/2010 - Severus S., OC - Complete
Nice Shootin' Tex reviews
McClane gets a partner. Drabble. Rated T just to be safe.
Die Hard - Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,303 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/30/2011 - John M. - Complete
Dominion reviews
With the Dark Lord's power waning, another regime rises. EWE, LM/OC
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,521 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Lucius M., OC
The Dream reviews
Lucius is moved in a rare moment of compassion to do the unthinkable; his world takes an abrupt turn, as does the woman he saves. Warnings: implied N/C, violence, some UST, and lotsa lemons with a splash of lime.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,583 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Lucius M., OC
Iron Dragons and Firelegs reviews
A group of military officers help in the fight against Voldemort. One seems to find a lot in common with the snarky spy for the Order... In answer to a "Death Eaters in Pain" challenge. Warnings: Violence, Lemons/Limes, Death, H/C. A little LM/OC too
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,040 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/6/2009 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Severus S., OC - Complete
Les Liaisons Dangereux reviews
A French Auror is cursed by Bella; only Snape can help. Warnings: AU-no horcruxes, Lemons, Limes, Mind Control, slightly N/C, some Violence, a little PWP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 26,730 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Severus S., OC - Complete
The First Cut is Deepest reviews
Snape and Lily's first time in the ROR. Warnings: Oneshot, PWP, Minor
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,885 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory reviews
What happens after the light leaves Snape's eyes. WAF, Death, H/C
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,704 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Severus S. - Complete
Web of Redemption reviews
A Muggle finds herself in the midst of the fight against Voldemort, and discovers love along the way. Warnings: Violence, Death, N/C, Lemons, Limes, Mind Control, Termed Preg
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,441 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Severus S., OC - Complete