closeyourmouthkristenstewart
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Joined 07-13-09, id: 2006412, Profile Updated: 12-30-09
Author has written 7 stories for Twilight, Phantom of the Opera, and Phantom of the Opera.

Heyy howya doin?? nvr mind cuz i'm not really talkin 2 pplz!! haha that was fun. Well, me and my friend are authorish people and we are seriously messed up so we write seriously messed up stuff, most of it based off of inside jokes between us. enjoy our random crap, and now to the other author!

~MADDIGAN!!~ ;

HI! Crap, I just lost my train of thought...again. You get used to it after a while, anyways, when you read our stories, we don't want you to freak out or anything, cause thats just how our minds work, No, seriously, we are truly messed up, but we love to write and surprisingly, people actually like it. Comment on our stories or GO DIE IN A HOLE!! Don't worry I don't really mean that, I've been shouting that to the co-author all day. She's here to testify! Okay I'll stop rambling now...

~Emmy~

I'm BACK! hehe this is fun. well justa let ya kno, we aren't really that creepy, we just think that way so don't tell the insane asylum we're here! haha jk. anyway, I love cherries, and i also like dirt. Emmy sez she likes to eat waffles. i'm pimpin, some dude at the mall told me so.

~MADDIGAN PIMPIZOID~

Did you know that I have really freaky dreams? But they usually influence the story, like carlisle in speedo for example...haha that wasn't a dream, I freaked you out didn't I? No but I did come up with that. And last night I dreamt about an animal murderer at a carnival. Animals were dying left and right, shudder. And on that note, I'm gonna end this. TOODLES!

~Emmy~

Hi! This is new just because I was bored. I feel like describing myself to you. I'm average height with curly hair and hazel eyes. I LOVE my iPod and I think I'd die without it. I'm obsessed with techno music and listen to it everyday. Its true, ask my co-author. I also like writing stories but I never finish them unless I have a co-author or a really good pep squad or something. My mom and I act like total retards and listen to michael jackson in the car A LOT. I also like pasta. And burritos. I read a whole bunch and believe it or not, I love school. Yep you heard me right. Or saw me...or would you see my writing? I'm confused...Crap.

~Emmy~

COPY AND PASTIES!

you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile. (cough ANYONE TEAM EDWARD cough

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to hi-five some body and it has taken over 10 tries to actually slap their hand copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you sometimes seem to trip over thin air, put this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, put this in your profile.

If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, put this in your profile.

Admitting you are weird is normal. Admitting you are normal is odd. Different is odd and different is not good. If you are weird and proud of it, put this in your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jacob Black. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Jacob with your friends. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FrevrnvrLasts, The Dawn Is Breaking, TheAntidoteIsAlwaysJelly, closeyourmouthkristenstewart

If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap. Yeah.

If you aren't one of those wanna be pop stars that shop at name brand stores, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

you complian that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Seweedbrainrocks314, Shorty and KG Inc., WiseOne27,LoveTheSun, animaluver101, The Dawn Is Breaking, TheAntidoteIsAlwaysJelly

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing better to do...

If you are good at annoying people (especially on loooooong car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love reading really long books just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series), The Dawn Is Breaking (Edward Cullen, Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre)) TheAntidoteIsAlwaysJelly (Draco Malfoy, Jacob Black, Lucius Vladescu Jessica's Guide to Dating the Dark Side, Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd, Roiben Rath Rye Tithe), Closeyourmouthkristenstewart (The Phantom from phantom of the opera, any johnny depp character, jacob black, Darry (from the Outsiders), Johnny Castle from dirty dancing, Erik Night ((from house of night series) and sooo many more)

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are always listening 2 ur ipod (or anything musical) copy and paste this into your profile. (ZUNE, not ipod)

If you can't keep from laughing out loud while reading profiles, copy and past this to your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

If you repeat yourself and you're proud of it, copy and paste this on your profile!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to Google or YouTube just after you've thought of it, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think fanfiction contributes to society and people ought to get placed in Guiness books for it, copy and paste this to your profile

If your definition of happiness is jumping up and down your bed (and then laughing your head off when you fall and bump your head), copy and paste this to our profile

If you think all the cool people are the ones who have 4-7 imaginary friends, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have tests all week long but are looking around people's profiles and laughing at random things, copy and paste this to your profile

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Narnia by Beanacre0 reviews
Nessie and Emmett break into Taylor Lautner's house and are trapped in the wardrobe. In times like that, there is only one thing to do. I hope you like it, stems from a conversation at school ; Now a series of One Shots!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,773 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/14/2014 - Published: 1/27/2010 - Emmett
Amber, the feminist cat by ShanByStarlight reviews
Jane gets a new pet, a gorgeous kitten named Amber! But Amber is not as innocent as she seems. She hates all of male-kind. The men of the Volturi scheme to get rid of the cat, but can they ever rip her from Jane's side?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,371 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/9/2011 - Published: 8/28/2009 - Jane, Alec
Waffles by Theonewhostandsout reviews
Bella and Edward had been best friends since birth, but what happens when they both fall for one another. Lots of laughs, Emmett stupidity, and family drama! Canon pairings... NOT All-human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 23,414 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/3/2010 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Edward, Bella
What's Worse than Phantom in Manhattan? by Kill Otto reviews
THIS.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 25,906 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/26/2010 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Erik, Christine - Complete
Why We Shouldn't Sparkle by PhantomTwilighter2009 reviews
Erik is walking home one day and upon entering his house, he sees a certain sparkling vampire that we have all come to know and love. And hate.
Crossover - Phantom of the Opera & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,294 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Erik, Edward - Complete
Running Away by Her.Real.Obsession reviews
Bella is running from a life she should not have choosen. She catches a plane to London and sits next to a mysterious stranger and his family. He is beautiful, but she is plain. What can come of this? DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 55,069 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 4/24/2010 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Edward, Bella
The New Girl in Town by FlyingSquirrelOfDarkness reviews
Someone new has taken Christine's place as Prima Donna,and everyone thinks that she really is Christine! One-shot. Enjoy!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/16/2010 - Complete
Twilight Retarded Edition by Twilightlover1518 reviews
LOL ITS PRETTY MUCH WHAT THE CULLEN CLAN THAT INCLUDES BELLA DO WHEN THERE BORED. HEHE warning: may contain funny contents that are just plain retarded please refrain from smashing the computer if you don't like my story. Thank you! : a tiny bit OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 26,537 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Complete
Twilight Lethbridge Style by The-New-Cullens reviews
Fanfic made by My Edward17 and FancyJumper. Please, no one be offended, this is just a joke on our friends. Also, a little bit of blackmail. But R&R anyway just because that's what we normally do. Read at own risk. Or at least that of your sanity!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,057 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Jasper, Edward
Yucky Boys and Kissing by x.alice.massacre.x reviews
3-year old Alice gets her first kiss... rating may change...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,751 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 7/18/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Theres Something Seriously Wrong with These People reviews
Sequel to What The Heck is Wrong with These People. If you haven't read it, you won't understand this one. Bonus x-mas material inside! Super funny, you'll appreciate it if you're twisted like us! Rated T for the mental image of Carlisle in a Speedo.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,133 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/26/2010 - Published: 12/24/2009
Totally Hilarious, Just READ IT! reviews
We couldn't even think of a name to match the awesomeness of this story, and there's no way to write a summary because we have no plan for it, just whatever funny thought comes to mind we puit in. : Rated T just in case, All human and 2 new characters!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 6,970 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/25/2010 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Alice, Edward
The Rainbowy Mouth that Ate Us reviews
Two Phantom and Slipknot obsessed teenagers fall through their creepy TV, and end up in the movie. Hating being normal, they decide to shake things up a bit. Christine and Raoul hating! one-shot!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,132 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Erik, Christine - Complete
The Rainbow Mouth that Ate Us reviews
What happens when two seriously messed up Phantom obsessed teenagers fall through a TV with a mysterious rainbow mouth? This. And its not pretty, either. Christine and Raoul bashing! One-shot!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,132 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/22/2010 - Complete
This is a Parody It is Funny reviews
just what the title says. REALLY AWESOME, READ AND REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,518 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Bella, Edward
Secret Life of the Cullens reviews
Each of the Cullens gets a job, and Carlisle finds a new one. Dracula goes to Blood Rehab, and Bella is thrown through the window of a princess pink lambourgini. I don't own twilight, either. :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Carlisle, Bella
What the Heck is Wrong with these People? reviews
What would happen if Stephanie Meyer was as wierd as us? Here's a sample. Hilarious, easy to read, exciting and unexpected. After this, READ THE SEQUEL!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 24 - Words: 14,452 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete