Author has written 8 stories for D.Gray-Man, Saiyuki, Prince of Tennis, Harry Potter, Naruto, Durarara!!/デュラララ!!, and Sherlock.
Hello to all random people who have arrived at my profile, by either my stories or any other ways.
Name: you do not need to know =3 Just call me Neko-chan or Kuro-chan, I like them a lot better.
Age: Also don't need to know, but under 20, maybe
Anyone who wishes to contact me can find me at http://www.facebook.com/kurochan.ffnet...sadly they don't allow me my numbers.
I absolutely love writing and reading, can't get enough. I hope that some of my stories spark your interest and I can get some feedback.
If anyone has any ideas or challenges for me to write, do send me a message, and i will try to do then as soon as i can get around to it.
Prince Of Tennis-
Allen Yuu Kanda
(Was it just me or were at least half of them Sadistic
bastards, Psychopaths or blocks of Ice and Attitude?)
LuZo (One Piece)
ZoSan (One Piece)
Cute Things Kill People
Obsession is allowed, stalking not so much.
On a scale of 1 to crazy, I'm a penguin.
I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
If Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Platinum.
If you can't dazzle the world with your knowledge, then baffle it with your bullshit.
Always glad to inadvertently inspire genius.
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them faster.
If I seem to give a damn, do tell me, because I would hate to give the wrong impression.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS!!
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shittttt!!
It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?"
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
My train of thought got derailed.
If someone gave you half a brain, you'd still only have half a brain.
All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter.
The more things change, the more things remain. . . insane.
You have hate mail. . . you have more hate mail. . . your hate mailbox is full. (occasionally Disney comes up with some real winners.)
Get your mind out of the gutter...you're blocking my view.
My imaginary friends think you have serious mental problems.
Of all the things I lost, I miss my brain the most.
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I've lost my marbles! Where are my marbles! I need them, help me!
I've noticed that all your insults directed at me, can all translate to- 'Stunningly gay with a topping of whipped Homo-eroticism.'
Just act like I'm not here...WATCHING you...
Some people are like slinky's, they have absolutely no use but you can't help but smile when you see one fall down the stairs.
Girls Don't realize these things;
I'm sorry...that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry...That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry...That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry...that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry...That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"
I'm sorry...That I am actually nice; not a jerk
I'm sorry...I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry...I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry...I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.
I'm sorry...That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date
I'm sorry...That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at
you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry...That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped
you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry...If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat,
only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry...If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry
for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry...that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry...If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care
But most of all
I'm sorry...For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry...That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry...I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry...I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry...That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry...That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry...That I cared
I'm sorry...that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' (I'm a Girl, Cheers)
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for period pain. It's good to cry. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been received.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted.
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
" There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
Everything I Learned In Life, I Learned From CLAMP-
1. If you're not angsty, you should be.
2. There is no such thing as coincidence.
3. Evil takes the form of four Japanese mangaka.
4. Everything's better in alternate universes.
5. If you're precious to your brother, you're probably doomed.
6. Actually, if you're precious to anyone, you're doomed.
7. In fact, you're probably just doomed anyways.
8. Treasure your eyes. You never know when they'll be taken away.
9. Subtext really does equal buttsex.
10. Everything has a price.
11. The most powerful people are alcoholics.
12. Never trust the bunny/pork bun.
13. True love always prevails. Usually.
14. Love comes in all forms.
15. At least you’re not Subaru.
16. Nothing says love like agreeing to be somebody’s primary food source.
17. If someone comments on your eyes being pretty, you will probably lose them several chapters later.
18. Even if you and your beloved are a canon couple, by the end, you still won’t have kissed.
19. Even in other series, you still will not kiss.
20. If your grandparents are constantly on vacation, they most likely don’t exist.
21. Never carry your most treasured item around with you.
22. Everybody has an evil twin.
23. Tokyo Tower is, more than likely, the source of all evil.
24. If you’re good-looking, you’re doomed or angsty. Probably both.
25. Don’t expect to live a happy life. You’ll only be disappointed.
26. The more they smile, the harder they fall.
27. Your fan base is directly proportional to how angsty you are.
28. Everyone is pretty, even when bleeding or in agony.
29. Torture and mind games are just another way of showing you care.
30. Your boss is bad for you.
31. The world is split into three genders: male, female and androgynous.
32. Blood is aesthetic.
33. It’s not real magic unless you can conjure a two-meter-wide magic circle.
34. Flat strips of paper can reach the same speed as an F1 race car.
35. Fire doesn’t burn unless the plot requires it to.
36. No matter how ripped your shirt gets, it’s not coming off.
37. Men with black hair and glasses (including sunglasses) cannot be trusted.
38. Anyone who says having magic powers is cool could not have been more wrong.
39. It’s possible to store two swords and enough clothing for four people inside the mouth of a bunny/pork bun.
40. Who wears short shorts? Little boy detectives wear short shorts!
41. Four leaf clovers aren’t as lucky as they’re made out to be.
42. If you’re a character voiced by Megumi Ogata/cool/fan favorite/bishounen, you’re doomed.
43. Hell, you’re in a CLAMP anime. You’re doomed.
44. Remember your dreams- they’re the key to the plot.
45. If you can’t whistle, “hyuu” instead.
46. If you feel someone’s watching you, they probably are.
47. If he’s tall, dark and handsome, he’s taken- by the outrageously cute boy standing next to him.
48. Feathers have the ultimate power. Buy a chicken.
49. If your series is happy sugar-coated fairies and gay, you will most likely all die a horrible death at the hand of a psychotic clone.
50. Everything will be alright.
51. Just because you return from a journey, doesn’t mean you’ll return in one piece.
52. Everything happens in Tokyo.
53. Cute stuffed animals make the best magical servants.
54. Swords longer than your height are easy to manage.
55. Attack names/chants are more important than actual skill or experience.
56. Cherry blossoms are a sign of good luck.
57. Cherry blossoms are a sign of bad luck.
58. Cherry blossoms are- sod that, if you see cherry blossoms, run.
59. Even after your heart is pierced by someone's hand, you will still have plenty of time to divulge deep dark secrets/words of wisdom/angst/last words before you actually die.
60. Show your true love not by exchanging rings, but eyes.
61. No one is really happy. They’re just hiding some dark secret.
62. Dressing someone up in cute but outlandish outfits is a sign of great love and affection.
63. The easiest way to solve a love triangle is to kill somebody.
64. Inanimate objects have feelings.
65. Eyes, especially magic ones, are in high demand.
66. Cosplay is completely normal in Tokyo.
67. Love your parents while you can.
68. The general public is oblivious to strange/supernatural/inexplicable/mysterious events/people/objects.
69. Don’t give your name to strangers.
70. Wherever you are, there is a Miyuki somewhere in the background.
71. Apparently, magic allows you to eat other people’s eyes like candy.
72. Walking between a fence and a lamp-post will send you to another time/dimension.
73. Never trust shop owners.
74. You can adore liquor more than food, but you do not have an alcohol problem.
75. Everyone who's important, has the birthday April 1st.
76. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye-then it's a pairing.
77. Nothing says love than agreeing to be someone's primary life source.
78. When asking the Japanese what a word means, definitions don't matter, you just need Kanji
79. Nothing says love like telling them to live till the day you kill them
80. Nothing says love like placing various suffixes onto the end of the first four letters of their name
Honorary Member of The Book of Log.
If you worship the holiness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments
Position: Log Worshiper
Possible Book of Log Positions:
Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapters) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still recommended.
Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.
'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4
'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3
'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sand-walker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16
'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82
'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9
'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.
If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (Fun!!!). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you get inspired to write at random moments through the day put this on your profile.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man barried her while she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
This is really sad-
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate, marshmallows, hookers and ice cream as well)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWAHAHAHAHA cough cough! (hehehehe...mwahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA)
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! (MY MINIONS)
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!
"And what would you suggest?" Tsunade snapped in annoyance.
"Make them scared of you," Naruto stated. "Fear makes everything easier. My village is scared of me. His whole country is scared of me. This village will soon be very scared of me again."
"Again?" Naruto grinned, but there were too many teeth and far too many points in it. Nothing but Trouble- Mister Cynical
"I think R&D is trying to cook something like that up, but I don't really pay attention to their presentations any more," Nanbu replied. "At least, not since they couldn't figure out a way of killing you."
"Cut them a break. Better men than them have tried," Naruto replied as he poured another saucer. "And I'm still here." Nothing but Trouble- Mister Cynical
What's the worst that could happen?""You're the only person that could say that and get away with it," Yukie noted. "Well, obviously, that's because I am the worst that could happen," Naruto stated. Nothing but Trouble- Mister Cynical
"I know," Naruto said. "It's kind of a wonder someone that insane managed to keep it together long enough to convince so many other people to follow him."
"Well, most of those people were also insane," Sasuke pointed out.
"True," Naruto conceded. It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! - Sarah1281 (About Madara)
"Team Seven," Minato greeted them as they stood in front of him to receive their next mission. "You have managed to fail every single D-Rank mission we have. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"That takes talent?" Naruto volunteered.
"Naruto," Minato said sternly.
"What? Have you ever tried to fail at some of those?" Naruto shot back.
"How did we manage to fail at finding Tora?" Sakura asked. "Since we did, in fact, find Tora."
"That cat hasn't been the same since you brought it back and, from what I hear, practically has a panic attack every time it spots one of you," Minato pointed out.
"That's very strange," Sasuke said neutrally.
"I'm sure it is. You can't babysit because the children invariably insist on throwing stick 'kunai' at the people around them for 'moving target practice.' You can't go shopping in a neighboring village because you compete to see who can get the cheapest deals and so end up haggling all day. You can't help with farming because Naruto's clones eat all the food. You can't help paint fences or buildings because that would start another paint war," Minato recited. "Kakashi, shouldn't you be, I don't know, trying to get them to pass? They currently hold the record for most D-ranks failed ever."
It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! - Sarah1281
We've just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call misdirected rage. I believe the technical term is "being an ass". -Shigure, Fruits Basket
'The conversation that followed the poking – he found out that he enjoyed poking kids with sticks – was amusing, that it was.' - Hatake Kakashi, Naruto - Naruto of the Six Paths - D.lite
"This is great news," said Harry. "Poor me. I had to die. I hate when that happens." (Poor Harry, how many times has he died now?) - My Cullen - StormyFireDragon
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality - just read it, it's absolutely hilarious :')
"If you're confused, you're paying attention." Tom Peters
"Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius." (Josh Billings)
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." (Albert Einstein)
"Merlin Harry, I knew you had been practicing your wand handling, but where did you learn how to handle daggers like that?" Ron breathed.
Harry smirked at him, "Remedial Potions. Where else?" - To Defeat A DarK Lord - vbollman
Well, I have never actually seen my mind and am not suicidal enough to attempt such so I suppose it is lost. How do I know whether it's under my skull?" - Another Detective - Liz Yeriod (I found it a quite interesting story :) )
"Don't you know? Writers are some of the most homicidal people on Earth. They can kill hundreds of thousands, exterminate entire races, destroy the universe, and never get punished or it. Any good writer knows at least a hundred ways to kill a person, all of which would leave a person like you broken and whimpering," - Rewriting the Rules - Ainnenoi Aurum
To both of their amazements they said together,
"What is the history of the victims? Were they criminals or arrested for something big?"
They looked at each other astonished, they were thinking at exactly the same pace.
"No wonder we never used to get along." Light said in wonderment.
"Never used to get along, Light-kun?" L said smiling.
"We do seem to have more conversations without threatening the other than we used to," Light said smiling as well.
"Perhaps that is because Light-kun is behaving himself more," L laughed. - Death Note Alphabet - DragonRider4000
"Do you take sugar?" Mikami asked, he had insisted on making the tea.
"Oh, no thank you," David (L) said hurriedly, "It rots the teeth."
Mikami nodded slightly in approval.Far away in a room full of computers, Light nearly choked on a biscuit as he heard this. - Death Note Alphabet - DragonRider4000
"Libido is…" Harumi started but had to pause to the find the right way to word this. "… the male sex drive and he implied you have none at all."
Naruto deflated. "Oh if that's all…" He shrugged and turned to the Kiza. "If it makes you feel any better, women with less cloths on than you usually sleep and snuggle with each other on my couch and they haven't jump started anything."
It was odd. Even the birds paused. Several people, though not knowing why, stuck their heads out of the tents and look at the shinobi, perplexed. Nature and human alike unanimously agreed to be silent and stare at a one Naruto Uzumaki. Then, in agreement once more, they all cocked their heads to the side simultaneously… -Cutting the Deck - cyrusII
"Lucius Malfoy! You are under arrest for escaping from Azkaban!"
"I didn't escape," snapped Lucius irritably. "Voldemort kidnapped me!" - Visions of an Empath -ame3565