Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
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Love vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
She ended up staying longer than
As she walked along under the tall elm
When she reached the alley, which was a
However, halfway down the alley she
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
When she reached the end of the alley,
The following day, she read in the
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
She felt she could recognize the man, so
The police asked her if she would be
She agreed and immediately pointed out
When the man was told he had been
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for
the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister
is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
Stop the racism
A black man was talking to a white man and said: "I'm black. When I was born I was black. When I grew up, I was black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I go in the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I die, I'll still be black. But you: When you were born, you were pink. When you grew up, you were white. When you're sick, you're green. When you go in the sun you're red. When you're cold, you're blue. When you die, you'll be purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored."
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Post this on your profile to make someone smile
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
In Remembrance to Fred Weasley,
In Remembrance to Dobby,
In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,
In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,
In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,
In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,
In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,
In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,
In Remembrance to Hedwig,
Great email I recieve earlier today;
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
If you broke wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Starfish have no brains.
Polar bears are left-handed.
(taken from C.Rara's profile)
Kel and the Field Monitor (Squire) - "I don't know why I came over because you know the rules as well as I do, but Raoul wanted me to tell you that if you got killed he would never speak to you again." "So helpful"
Kyprioth (Tricksters Choice) - "Cooked or Raw, Sausages are NOT the food of the Gods"
Kel's Thoughts, qouting Numair Salmalin (Lady Knight) - 'When in doubt, shoot the wizard'
Jonathan of Conte - "I distrust any advice that contains the words ought or should"
Lord Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malories Peak, (Squire) - "When people tell me a knight's job is all glory, I laugh and laugh and laugh. Sometimes I can stop laughing before they edge away and talk about soothing drinks"
Ronald Reagan - "The most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government, I'm here to help.'"
Terry Pratchett - Truth, justice, freedom, reasonably priced love, and a hard boiled egg.
Terry Pratchett - The world rested on top of four Elephants witch stood on top of a giant turtle. Don't ask what the turtle is standing on that's like asking what sound yellow makes
Spock (Star Trek) - "I am not our father!"
Wicked Witch of The West (The Wizard of Oz) - "I'll get you... and your little dog too"
Dorothy (The Wizard of Oz)- "Toto, i don't think we're in Kansass anymore!"
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
It's 0 degrees today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow. How cold will it be?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
What is the sound of one's hands clapping?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
If the number 2 pencil is number 1, why is it still Number 2?
You sound reasonable, time to up my medication.
Can vegitaritions eat animal crackers?
There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just don’t respond with encores.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘...holy sh#t...what a ride!
Learn from the mistakes of others-you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. ~Martin Vanbee
Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity; they seem more afraid of life than of death.
Do not fear dieing, fear not having lived. ~Anonymous
"You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts." ~Brian Tracy
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." ~Douglas Adams
"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs." ~Unknown
"The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness." ~Andre Malraux
"Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so." ~Belva Davis
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction. ~Noelie Altito
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both... copy and paste this on your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head... copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are obsessed with over 30 characters from books... copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you don't care a flying fk what people think about you...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have no idea why someone started these copy and paste quotes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you've hit teenage years and are tending to be a bit rebellious...Well, girl(or boy), copy this into your profile. WANNA-BE REBELS, UNITE!
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Ginormous Funtastic Everything, Kara Hitame, HopelessxRomanticx1993, boyzaremylife, September5Rhyme (and proud to do so), HisokaYukiko, fullmetal'sgirl92, DarkRose02, devotedtodreams, SkywardShadow, XxGaarasGirlXx, Gaaras1Girl, Saara-chan, BellaPerea, kairika, Arya-Svit-Kona1, InheritanceArtist(it happens daily ;), Pie in the Face, AryaFan1121, Morzan's Elvish Daughter
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons use them to squirt in the eyes of your enemys.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the whole world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, forget to add suger and then offer a glass to a friend.
When life gives you lemons, throw them back in life's face and demand grapefruit.
Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America...are there handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink.
Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't like certain classic stories copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are a NevillexLuna shipper and still love it even after JK Rowling said it would never happen, copy this into your profile
If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.
65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile
If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
To Be a genius you have to be at least a bit Crazy... if you are a crazy genius (in your own little way) and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think the Eragon movie was horrible, that the book was WAY better, and that the person who wrote the script should be tortured in some horrid manner (use your imagination), copy and paste this to your profile and add you name to the list; Akira'kitana, kalyn19, plungers-rock-my-socks bookworm 2011, LadyReaderofBooks, Lady Arianne Of Ambers Valley, Morzan's Elvish Daughter
I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile
If George W. Bush is getting on your nerves for various reasons, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!
If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile.LONG LIVE PLUTO! did you know that scientists (mainly in the U.S. of A.) think that Pluto is a planetiod...but in truth it is a planet... because a planet is anything, ANYTHING, that orbits a star!
If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
If you’re single then paste this in your profile
If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile
If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.
If you get science/ physics jokes...like really dorky ones.. copy and paste this
If you have ever run into a sliding glass door because you didn't see it, copy and paste this into your profile. (Does a real wooden door count?)
Can you raed tihs? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae.
If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.
If you hate Justin Bieber and dont care who knows it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. AryaFan1121, Morzan's Elvish Daughter
A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, " You will die in seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
A good Friend Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. A best friend Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
A good friend Asks you to write down your number. A best friend Has you on speed dial.
A good friend Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best friend Loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
A good friend Only know a few things about you. A best friend Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
A good friend Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
A good friend Would knock on your front door. A best friend will Walk right in and say "HONEY, I'M HOME."
A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.
"Will there be boys there?" "No mom, its a nun club"
"Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend."
"I can resist anything but temptation."
"Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it."
"All those who belive in telekenesis, raise my hand."
"Why do they steralize the needle for lethal injections?"
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!"
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door."hey i did that once...it was really funny! :) true story :nods head:
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried skydiving without a parachute... Or maybe they did. I mean we never really met whoever said it, did we?"
"Children in the dark make accidents. Accidents in the dark make children."
"Nothing is Impossible, it is just Mathematically Improbable"
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? hey! I put on mascara with my mouth closed!
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
Why 'lisp' has an 's' in it?
Murphy's Lesser Known Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
40 Things to do when your in Walmart! - UPDATED-
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Start a fish-stick fight.
20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.
25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.
26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."
28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)
29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.
30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.
31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.
32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.
33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.
35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid
36. Walk around the store looking lost..when someone asks you if you need help ask them where the store is!
37. when no-one is looking, hide in an aisle where no-one is and scream really loud, when people come to help you, pretend you were looking for the person who was screaming
38. ask a member of staff where the (put in something that is not in the store) is
39. go in dressed up looking like an inspector, look around and write notes, and when the manager askes you how the inspection went, say "okay"
40. move all the tomato ketchup (tomato sauce) to the microwaves department
(if you are in England, where there are no Walmarts... go to your local COSTCO)
If youve ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. I AM WIERD... and even wierder for admitting that i am wierd ! Go Wierdness!!
If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile.
95 percent of people are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this to your profile.
If you are one of the few teenagers (or otherwise) who won't go into total meltdown if (when) myspace and facebook collapse copy and paste this onto your profile... and add your name, so i can invite you to the party :) Lady Arianne Of Ambers Valley, Morzan's Elvish Daughter
If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile.
If you have awesome friends who are scary when they're mad put this in your profile
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're reading this instead of doing something you really need to do (such as sleep), copy this into your profile
If you've ever felt so alone, and sad, but then had a friend cheer up, by telling you that you're never alone, copy this into your profile
On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: Serving Suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well, duh, a bit late, huh?)
On Mark's & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (And you thought??...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (And I'm taking this... because?)
On most brands of Christmas tree lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to... what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody help me out on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On packet on Nobby's Peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)
(I don't blame the company on this one; I blame the parents) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a motorized scooter box: Warning: This vehicle moves. (Thanks Chikara Takashi!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
If you've ever seen an adult act like a gangsta or use slang and were freaked out, copy and paste this to your profile.
There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you LOSE when it becomes weird. If you agree with this, copy and paste this to your profile.
yo! you know you hear scientists say,"the world is going to die in 4 billion years" forget it, they're wrong... the SUN will die in 4 billion years, destroying the earth in the process... but don't worry...
we'll be dead by then!
A List of Stereotypes
copy and paste this into your profile and bold the ones that apply to you
I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshiping baby killer
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish
I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY/GIRL FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I WEAR GLASSES and RETAINERS, so I MUST be a nerd
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm HALF ASIAN HALF BRITISH, so I MUST be short
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I HAVE a BIG FAMILY siblings, so WE MUST be financially challenged
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans
I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature
I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet
I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I must just be Emo.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be Emo.
I READ HARRY POTTER so I MUST worship the Devil
I am a TWILIGHT FANGIRL so I MUST have no life
I WRITE FANFICTION so I MUST be a crack-addicted wash-out who can't get published
I WRITE ABOUT LOVE so I MUST not have a boyfriend
~STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD ANY MORE STEREOTYPES YOU'VE HEARD.
You know you're a writer...
-If you talk to yourself.
Copy and Paste this if you're a writer.
If you have read this far, I commend you for enduring some of the weirdest things ever.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, please re-post this.
REMEMBER WHEN ..
mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
In Loving Memory of Common Sense
One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.
Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.
My personal saying: "Insanity keeps me sane."
You know you live in the twenty-first century when...
1. 5th. graders cuss.
2.Shipping is twice the amount you paid for the actual item
don't know what kind of car your neighbor has.
pay more for gas every month then you do for your car.
of right now you are thinking, "This is so true."
7. You were too stupid to read number 5.
8. You just went back to read number 5.
9. You find number 5 isn't there.
are thinking, "This girl is really clever!"
12. And, because you are all suckers, you're all gonna put this on your profile.
This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, paste this in your profile:
My name is May
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is May
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Try Not To Cry
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
First get a pen and paper. When you actually write names make sure you know them and go with your first instincs.
Don't read you'll ruin it!
1.Write 1 through 11 in a colum
2.Then, beside 1 and 2 write down any number you want
3.then, on 3 and 7 write down a name of a person from the opposite gender.
4.Write any ones name (Friends family etc.) in 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.
5.write four song titles in spots 8, 9, 10, and 11(Go with first instinct)
6.Finally, make a wish!
And now the key for the game
You must tell (number in space 2) people about this.
The person in space three is the one you truly love.
The person in 7 is the person you like but you can't work it out.
You care most about the person you put in number 4.
The name you put in number 5 is the person who knows you very well.
The person you name in number 6 is your lucky star.
The song in 8 matches the person in in 3.
The song in 9 matches the person in 7.
The tenth space is the song telling you about YOUR mind.
The title in 11 is the song that describes your life.
Now repost this bullieten UNanswered in the next hour and your wish will come true but...if you don't the opposite will happen.
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.(my mother has to jut out her chin because she foged up the mirror)
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.
Homophobes are sick, ignorant bastards. Copy and paste if you think so too.
If you don't have a problem with Homosexuality copy this into your profile.
Anonymized Artichoke (72)
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