Southern Amateur
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Joined 07-16-09, id: 2010782, Profile Updated: 10-16-10
Author has written 4 stories for Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries.

I've got my blog up! http://www.southernamateur.blogspot.com

Now I just need to update some more. At any rate...

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GYNAZOLE by Mrs.TheKing reviews
Bella has to fill an embarrassing prescription. Mr. Cullen is the pharmacist there to greet her. Rated M for every reason my twisted mind can come up with. ExB God help us if there is a lemon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,442 - Reviews: 10381 - Favs: 2,814 - Follows: 2,375 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Bella, Edward
Tasting Sin by Leia1912 reviews
What's the most delicious thing you've ever seen? Poor Sookie's about to find out. Eric/Sookie fluff in the vein of the early SVM books: a lot of romance, comedy, action. Think of this as an alternate ending from Book 8 on. (CANON THROUGH BOOK 8; INCORPORATES IDEAS FROM LATER BOOKS, BUT NOT DEA.) COMPLETE!
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 90 - Words: 304,675 - Reviews: 3779 - Favs: 2,075 - Follows: 1,981 - Updated: 6/28/2014 - Published: 10/31/2008 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Turbulence by ddpjclaf reviews
*RE-POST* While dealing with a loss, Clary befriends her new neighbor's troubled foster-son. Can their friendship help them let go of the pain or will their pasts intervene and rip them apart? (Due to Fanfiction disabling the C&P ability, I am re-posting this story here. Thank you to all who have been so supportive!)
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 210,843 - Reviews: 2362 - Favs: 1,645 - Follows: 640 - Updated: 10/17/2013 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 150,800 - Reviews: 20124 - Favs: 13,022 - Follows: 5,420 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Complete
Three Graces And A Muse by FarDareisMai2 reviews
It's been seven years since Edward left and he's about to find out that things have changed in his absence. Now Bella is caught between forgiving her past or following her future. AH Rated M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 94,813 - Reviews: 699 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Bella
Alice's Jasper, Edward's Bella by LyricalKris reviews
Bella had lost everything, including her purpose in life. Jasper had lost everything, including his freedom. Prison is an unlikely place to find happiness again, but two broken souls will recognize each other in the most unexpected of places.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 32,647 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 564 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 4/1/2013 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Rogue by ddpjclaf reviews
Someone is collecting 'the best of the best' from each branch of the supernatural community. What will the Shadowhunters do when one of their own is the next target? Rated M for sexy scenes. Post COG & PRE COFA. COFA did not exist, nor did talks of it when this story was started. All info learned in COFA, including what the Mark of Cain does, is irrelevant to this story.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 168,824 - Reviews: 1383 - Favs: 1,047 - Follows: 354 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
Professor Northman's Extra Credit Assignments by seastarr08 reviews
I do love me some extra credit assignments. Outtakes from The Expert/Amateur.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,345 - Reviews: 522 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 3/30/2012 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Eric, Sookie
The Fallout by OCDindeed reviews
March 16/06 the world the Cullens knew ended. Faith, hope & love are powerful things. Edward finds out how powerful they are when he loses the one person who made his life worth living. Not just an E/B story. Entire Cullen clan is here, each with their own hardships. Set during a post-apocalyptic nuclear war. Try the Prologue before passing judgment. You might be surprised! NM/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 325,178 - Reviews: 6605 - Favs: 4,295 - Follows: 3,182 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
White Blank Page by seastarr08 reviews
Sookie has an intimate encounter that changes her life in more ways than one. Pam/Sookie/Eric: Read A/N.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,180 - Reviews: 1249 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 3/12/2012 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
The Education of Sookie Stackhouse by Greenabsinthia reviews
An A/H one shot. Sookie gets an opportunity she can't resist. It's rated M for a reason - lots and lots of lemony goodness. The genre selection is a bit off, but the story has a bit of both.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 45,370 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 8/18/2011 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Sookie, Eric
Covert Casanova by ddpjclaf reviews
She's the artsy, outcast daughter of a rich, crooked lawyer. He's the self-absorbed undercover agent assigned to do whatever it takes to get the goods on daddy-even if that means making a play for his feisty daughter. AU/AH/OOC Fluffy. Lemonade.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 239,836 - Reviews: 2642 - Favs: 2,394 - Follows: 1,114 - Updated: 6/3/2011 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
The Expat by seastarr08 reviews
A new story in the Expert/Amateur universe. Sookie and Professor Sex face some professional turned personal challenges.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 128,333 - Reviews: 1166 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 5/28/2011 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
The Heat is in the Tools by Miss Construed reviews
Susannah Stackhouse was doing well on her five year plan. Only one more goal to accomplish - marry Bill Compton. Sit back and enjoy as one Mr. Alcide Herveaux throws a kink into that plan. AU/AH no Eric . Rated M for later chapters.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 103,928 - Reviews: 830 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 4/25/2011 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Alcide, Sookie - Complete
Changing It All by FODforever reviews
Sookie receives a reality-altering gift from Niall, and makes a plan to right the wrongs in her life; but can she change the past and still hold on to the future? Rated T now, M later. Sookie/Eric, but it's going to take a little while! Through ch 1 D&G.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 97,795 - Reviews: 2330 - Favs: 1,173 - Follows: 1,389 - Updated: 4/1/2011 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Sookie, Eric
Life Imitating Art by pfloogs72 reviews
Sookie Stackhouse is a successful single event planner in New York City whose life is about to get a little more complicated and a lot more interesting. AH. Rated M for later chapters
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 139,770 - Reviews: 1084 - Favs: 397 - Follows: 414 - Updated: 2/25/2011 - Published: 2/19/2010 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Ache for You by seastarr08 reviews
Canon/AU: Instead of being saved in DAG, Sookie disappeared from Eric's life, but continued to haunt his dreams. Thirty years later, he starts to realize what it all means.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,245 - Reviews: 2366 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 12/3/2010 - Published: 10/8/2010 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Thought Like Flames by ALiteraryLife reviews
Takes place in Eclipse. No pact with the wolves. The Cullen's are overwhelmed by newborns. Edward & Alice are destroyed. Bella loses her mind & seeks death. Jasper, overwhelmed by guilt & agony, leaves Forks. Their paths cross. Full summary on my profile.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 145,833 - Reviews: 1144 - Favs: 596 - Follows: 589 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Dustland Fairytale by seastarr08 reviews
An Ache For You Sidestory. Stan Davis gets a new telepath.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,386 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 11/20/2010 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Stan, Amelia - Complete
Love the Way You Lie by seastarr08 reviews
My entry for the "I Write the Songs" competition. Eric is a lawyer, representing Sookie in a difficult case.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,452 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 17 - Published: 10/6/2010 - Sookie, Eric
Better Man by seastarr08 reviews
AU - By day, Sookie and Eric are regular people, at first glance, but looks can be deceiving. Connected by their differences, they try to survive in a dangerous world, by using their abilities for good.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,186 - Reviews: 1259 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Only For Tonight Deja Vu and Then Some by Miss Construed reviews
It's the girl in the red boots and the cowboy we can't resist revisited. See what happens if "only for tonight" turns into tomorrow and the next day too! AU/AH.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 58,671 - Reviews: 585 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 8/18/2010 - Published: 1/28/2010 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Dead at Sea by seastarr08 reviews
AU/AH...Sort of. Sookie is on her way to America to marry a suitor, when there's a snag in her plans. A pirate snag, better known as the Northman.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,395 - Reviews: 922 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 234 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 3/11/2010 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
I Wanna Eff You Like a Masochistic Lion by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
I Wanna Eff You Like a Masochistic Lion B/c of Your Pools of Brown Diarrhea Eyes: The Worst Story Ever Told. Collab btwn Philadelphic, Feisty Y. Beden, & NelsonsMandela. M for mmmwrong. Welcome to the Sequel, Chilly's Song.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 24,947 - Reviews: 520 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 12/30/2009
1,001 Louisiana Nights by Dead Pan Contest reviews
Each dawn, he promises to kill her and each night she tells a tale to save her life.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,628 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Paradiso by Meg2 reviews
The final installment of the series that began with 'Dead Wrong/Dead Certain'
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 102,608 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 29 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Fumbling to Happiness by mskathy reviews
ON HIATUS Bella is a single mom whose first grader, Rose, is being picked on by Emmett. When she meets and gets to know Emmett's dad, what she finds surprises her. Will be expanded eventually. AU-H, Lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 23,149 - Reviews: 569 - Favs: 550 - Follows: 731 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
All Stars Have Their Chance to Shine by Miss Junie reviews
After the War, the Golden Trio and Draco return to school. How is Hermione supposed to deal with the 'new' Draco Malfoy, and will it last? Written for the "Support Stacie" auction for the winning bidder, Southern Amateur. Rated T for mild swearing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,449 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Amateur by seastarr08 reviews
AH/AU: Sequel to The Expert, which has been removed from FF. Its amazing what comes back to haunt you. Looking to the future with the editor and the professor.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,027 - Reviews: 1442 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Red Strings of Fate by unicornhime reviews
AH AU When Edward finally gets the chance at getting the girl, he has no idea what to do, so he turns to a message board called The Red Strings of Fate. A story told in technology.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 40,376 - Reviews: 1043 - Favs: 764 - Follows: 426 - Updated: 3/9/2010 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Son of a Preacher Man by LaViePastiche reviews
The wild son of a famous televangelist, Jasper likes to love ‘em and leave ‘em. Will he meet his match in Bella, who’s in love with his sister’s boyfriend Edward? And what happens when Edward finally notices her? AH, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 189,838 - Reviews: 8184 - Favs: 4,632 - Follows: 2,966 - Updated: 3/8/2010 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Complete
Where I Am by Nyah reviews
Across a table from an FBI shrink sits one Eric Northman. The subject of discussion? A missing barmaid and the circumstances surrounding a certain blood bond. A Support Stacie Auction fic.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,746 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 18 - Published: 3/4/2010 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
The Stickup, So to Speak by LaViePastiche reviews
Two strangers, two six-packs, two men with guns. How messed up is fate's sense of humor? For MsKathy's Haiti Relief Compilation. Collab with ElleCC. AH, Bella/Jasper, one-shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,113 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 33 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Bella, Jasper
The Darkest Hour by Meg2 reviews
A sequel to Scenes from a Marriage 1 & 2 and the author's Dead Wrong/Dead Certain series. Readers are cautioned about intense content.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 73,665 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 25 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
What's the H Stand For? by Nyah reviews
In Sookie's house, it'll cost you a penny each time you take the Lord's name in vain. Weekly One-hot challenge. E/S humor.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,240 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Eric, Sookie
I Have Gone Out by Nyah reviews
Would you rather eat from the tree of knowledge or remain a child in the garden forever? Eric/Sookie. End, part the first.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 96,579 - Reviews: 711 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 401 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Sorry Ladies, Northman's Off the Market by Miss Construed reviews
Sookie moves back to Shreveport and reunites with her old friend Pam. She soon finds herself not only intrigued by Pam's attractive older brother, but in over her head with him in a role-playing scheme. Rated M for later chapters. AH/AU
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 160,309 - Reviews: 1433 - Favs: 683 - Follows: 413 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Such Great Heights: A Tale of Finding Forever by ALiteraryLife reviews
Takes place in NM. Edward has left Forks, Bella's future disappears & Alice sends Emmett to Forks to find Bella. An extremely co-dependent friendship develops between them, leading to romance. M for language & lemons. POVs: Primarily Bella & Emmett
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 31 - Words: 105,978 - Reviews: 534 - Favs: 789 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 1/12/2010 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Capital Punishment by GEM1588 reviews
The Quileute werewolf pack and the Cullen vampire coven seem to have accepted the inter-species imprint between Jacob Black and Renesemee Cullen. However the Lycan Nation is not as tolerant. AU. Hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 54 - Words: 94,141 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/10/2010 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Close to Dead by AnneM.Oliver reviews
Does he know I'm still here? Am I still here? I feel like an empty shell. If we have a blood bond, you'd think that he'd know that I'm close to cracking up here. I'm close to checking out. I'm as close to dead as a person can get without dying. Sookie/Eric Written after 'Dead & Gone'
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 87,163 - Reviews: 768 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Dead Ahead by Ann Madison reviews
Sookie attempts to cut all ties with the supernatural world and instead finds herself victim to international vampire politics. Spoilers for ALL books.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 126,823 - Reviews: 1664 - Favs: 710 - Follows: 727 - Updated: 11/13/2009 - Published: 11/19/2008 - Sookie, Eric
Come As You Aren't by GimmeSomeIcefang reviews
Pam throws a Halloween bash to improve Sookie's mood after the Fae war, and enlists Amelia for magical reinforcements. A collaboration full of lemons and laughs for the Eric and His Great Pumpkin Contest. You don't need to ask about the rating, right?
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,749 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 11 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Snapshots by Meg2 reviews
A brief sequel to Dead Wrong/Dead Certain
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,295 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 21 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Sookie, Pam - Complete
Dead Certain by Meg2 reviews
The much requested Eric POV that was used as the back story for Dead Wrong. This piece will not make sense to readers who have not read my prior story, Dead Wrong. Spoilers for all nine books.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 49,261 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 30 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Camels and Cloves by Chicklette reviews
It's not what they say, it's what they whisper: New girl Isabella Swan has heard nothing good about Jasper Whitlock. So why can't she stay away from him? Are the rumors true? AH/OOC M- drink/drugs/sex. "For the Love of Jasper" Contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,097 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 499 - Follows: 66 - Published: 9/18/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
To The Other Side by VampAngel79 reviews
A one shot submission for the Eric n' Sooks: Summer of '69 contest. Inspired by the song Break On Through by The Doors. Rated M.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,926 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Interview with a Sheriff reviews
Still human on vamp, but with some different ideals. I'm still playing around and hope it works out. OOC. Adult content, and language. Feedback is welcome.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 27 - Words: 46,466 - Reviews: 627 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 293 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Sookie, Eric
Interview with a Sheriff Outtakes reviews
Easter Outtake - Sookie and Eric are found in a compromising position by Amelia and Tray.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,768 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Amelia, Sookie
Heat of the moment reviews
I'm not a writer, but I noticed a shortage of kinky Were moments. Since I've little imagination and ever more limited writing skills, I've used encounters with my spouse as my basis. AU, written for lemons only, so won't follow story line all the way.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,092 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/12/2009 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Alcide, Sookie
Break Away reviews
Eric n Sookie romance. Kudos to Krismom, my beta. My one shot for the Eric and his great pumpkin contest. Sookie remains human and Eric is still a vamp. Mature for content and language.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,688 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/24/2009
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