Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL
I am not afraid of the dark,
So, two midgets chip in for a lottery ticket, and they win, so to celebrate, they get two motel rooms next to each other, and two hookers. They each go into a room with a girl. The first midget just sits there, staring at the girl. All night, he just stares at her. He's a midget, he doesn't know what to say to a hooker. And the whole night he hears from next door, "Unh! Oh! Unh! Oh!" The next morning the two midgets walk out of their motel rooms. The first midget says, "I didn't know what to say to her." The second midget says, "I couldn't even get up on the fucking bed."
I understand that scissors can beat paper and I get hor rock can beat scissors but there is no way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock leaving it immoble? If so why cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors why cant paper do this to people? Why arent sheets of college ruled paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why because paper cant beat anyone! A rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors I will always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh shit im sorry I thought paper would protect you!"
Fanfiction is a site for people who daydream and constantly imagine the impossible.
Fanfiction is a site for people who never give up.
Fanfiction is a site for those of us who aren't accepted in the real world.
Fanfiction is a site for girls who are deperately in love with a non existant guys. (Because they're the best kind...)
Fanfiction is a site for people who talk to themselves... a lot.
Fanfiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.
Fanfiction is a site for girls who don't need guys to complete them.
Fanfiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different.
Fanfiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams.
Fanfiction is a site for people who are different, but don't care because, they know it's who they really are.
95 of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5 that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!"
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Join the dark side. We have cookies!
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.
The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.
Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!
History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I ran with scissors - and lived!
Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.
You say psycho like it's a bad thing...
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.
I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.
Cute but psycho - things even out.
If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.
Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Love your enemies. It pisses them off.
The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...
Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight.
You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you.
I am not weird... just plotting.
I don't obsess! I think intensely!
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile.
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain.
Love is like water, it flows natural, sometimes it's calm, and sometimes it's rough, you just need to let it happen and let yourself go with it.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you love rain copy and paste this in to your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
Crazy is a relative term in my family!
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.
Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
"It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."
"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"
You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
"I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother."
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you are in the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you've ever had a really and I mean really obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile.
If Robert Pattison said "jump off a bridge" 99 percent of all females would do it. If your part of the 1 still alive and would push HIM off the bridge so he can see what he's done, copy this onto your profile!
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
What happens if you scared to death twice?
Parents spend the first years of your life telling you to walk and talk, then the rest of it telling you to sit down and shut up.
One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.
One day your prince will come. Mine? He took a wrong turn, got lost, and was to stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not so good at advice; may I intrest you in a sarcastic reply?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.
WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs.
If silence is golden, is talking silver?
Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.
Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.
If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?
Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?
I'm not littering... just donating to the Earth.
It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.
I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.
I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.
Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.
Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda.
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
Happiness is being married to your best friend
Tomatoes are red, ashes are black, go to hell, and never come back
Trust is like a vase. Once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be the same again.
I'm going to love you when you least deserve it. Because that's when you need it the most.
Sex is not the answer.
To the world you're one person...
It's like quicksand. The more you are in it, the deeper you sink. And when it hits you, you've just got to fall.
If you think Ginny isn't right nor is Harry's soul mate, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think Sirius and Regulus loved each other and were close once a time, copy and paste this into your profile.
I promise to remember Sirius Black, who was hated by his mother but found true family in his friends...
I promise to remember Regulus Black the first person to defy the Dark Lord...
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore.
It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore.
Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore.
"What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another -"
You should have died! Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you! Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Sirius Black.
Believe me. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Sirius Black.
There's enough filth on my robes without you touching them. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Sirius Black.
I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Harry Potter.
Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Spoken by Sirius Black.
My eyes aren't glistening with the ghosts of my past. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Spoken by Harry Potter.
Keep muttering and I will be a murderer. Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. Spoken by Sirius Black.
"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.
"Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -"
"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
So, people, let's try to calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That's a Basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Spoken by Fred Weasley
Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim, or seriously injure! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Spoken by Dobby the House Elf