Results for Parkaward!
1st Place: Blowin' on the Stethoscope by carolinainthesky
2nd Place: The GreenEyed Monster Comes Out to Play by kimpy0464
3rd Place: The Metamorphosis by teacupsNmints
Special Judges Award for Being Classy Bitches (see below): A Little Crazy by LolaShoes and tby789
Thanks to everyone who read and voted and entered!
For those of you wondering why A Little Crazy did not appear in the poll, please check LiveJournal:
An often-overlooked part of the male anatomy, it's both fascinated and perplexed humans for thousands of years. Some cultures feel they should be removed.
We. want. them. on.
Yes, we are looking for uncut, totally natural, penis just like it was the day it was born Twific. You may call it anteater, armadillo, pig in a blanket...
We call it a parka, and we like peens wearing them.
As such, we are putting out the call for original one-shots featuring parka-sporting Twi men. Any and all pairings welcome except Carlisle/Bella, Carlisle/Edward, and Edward/Jacob, and that's only because they make Algie's eyes bleed and since she's a host, that just ain't right.
RULES: Your one-shot must be between 3,000 and 10,000 words in length, cannot be continued until after the contest is over, and must be a new and original story. Since we want to see the parka on the peen, all stories must be M-rated and include smut featuring our star performer: the parka. Please, please, use a beta, because if your spelling and grammar make our eyes bleed, we will DQ. Collaborations are fine, but you'll need to duke it out with your co-author for prize ownership.
Not allowed: rape, incest, pedophilia, or physical/verbal/sexual abuse guised as smut. All characters must be legally able to vote and drink alcohol in the United States, so that means 21 and up, folks. Slash, poly, BDSM (that's actual BDSM, not rapefic, and if you are confused, feel free to PM us)... all flavors of smexin' are welcome. Canon, AH, AU... all are good by us.
PLEASE NOTE... this is all in good fun. This is NOT an opportunity to use fic as a platform for a debate for or against male circumcision. Keep that to the mommy boards, please. All we want to see is smexin' with a parka. Any political slant for or against circumcision in your fic will be an automatic DQ.
All fics will be validated by algonquinrt and jgulia45 (your hosts) as well as two additional judges (DeviKalika and oohlalaaah) to ensure that they meet the guidelines, then put to a user vote.
You need to be 18 to enter. We are not concerned with the age of consent in your state. We just want to make sure you are of legal age to procure porn in ours.
Enter as often as you like. The more parkas, the better.
Contest entries must be received no later than 30 August 2009 12:01AM EDT
Public vote will be started on or about 6 September 2009, ending 13 September 2009 at 12:01AM EDT
All entries must be posted on Fanfiction.net. Once your story has been posted, please submit the link via PM for entrance into the contest.
We reserve the right to make minor adjustments to dates and/or rules should that become necessary.
All entries must feature the following heading:
Parkward One-Shot Contest
Your pen name:
To see other entries in the Parkaward Contest, please visit the C2 page:
Unsafe External Link