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Joined 07-24-09, id: 2021517, Profile Updated: 12-03-09

So who am I? Does anybody really care? Well since I am in a "safe environment," I will admit that I am a reader who has become completely obsessed with Twilight and Twilight related fanfiction. I read the Twilight Saga in April of 2009 after being hounded by family members that I would love it. They said I wouldn’t be able to put it down. I disagreed. Boy was I wrong!!

After trolling around on the Internet for a couple months, I discovered the world of fanfiction. In the past 16 weeks I have read over 5,500,000 words. That comes to approximately 21,100 pages or 42 500-page “Twilight” equivalent books or the Twilight Saga 8.5 times. Did I mention I was obsessed?

I am a grad student by day and fanfiction reader at night, often turning down food and sleep to keep reading. Clearly I have no life, my eyes are completely shot and I have all but turned into a vampire because my skin has barely seen the light of day all summer. I use to be a responsible member of society interested in politics, economics, the environment, pop-culture, hell I don’t even watch TV anymore. I could pretty much talk about any subject…a wealth of useless knowledge. I blame it on this shitty recession and living the life of a grad student where life pretty much revolves around school and that’s it. Did I say recession? What recession? I’m lucky I even know that it’s going on, only being reminded of it by old co-workers that the company I use to work for is going down the fucking tubes. I’m lucky I got out when I could and live in the little rose-colored world I have created for myself. For some reason I’m okay with this, ignorance is bliss. I really am in need of some medical intervention, but hey we all have flaws.

So I have yet to write my own fanfiction, but I do have one in planning stages. I don’t know if it will see the light of day and if I keep reading it won’t…it’s either the reading or grad school that I need to drop if I want my story to come to life. I guess I choose to stop or at least slow the reading to ensure that I don’t fail out of grad school. That’s a far too expensive mistake to make. Anyway, I have learned so much from all of you out there. Hey, I’m not an expert but I feel I have earned the right to comment on some of the things I have discovered about fanfiction…

1) I love lemons as much as the next girl, but if it doesn’t enhance the story or further the characters, it’s just useless smut. An excellent example of lots of well done lemons is americnxidiot’s You Bring Me Closer to God. It’s beyond me how someone can literally write about at least a dozen sex scenes and have every one sound completely unique, original and exciting, but she did. Read Tara sue me’s The Submissive and The Dominant for excessive lemons… almost no one I have read does it better.

2) I've declared that I have read a lot of stories and I tend to read the finished ones first, so I pick long stories to read. I have noticed that even though many have been excellent, some lose their way and become tedious. Most stories should not be over 200,000 words. If you have written beyond this, you need to do some serious editing. 200,000 words is a 770-page book, equal to Breaking Dawn. Chances are you probably wrote too many pointless lemons or shitty scenarios that kept Bella and Edward apart. There are definitely exceptions: Angstgoddess003’s Wide Awake and Winnsdsinger’s The Red Line are both over 300,000 words and are exceptional novels.

3) Stop with the extremely pathetic Bella’s… I like my Bella damaged and a little insecure, but give her some MO for it. If I read one more Bella that 24 chapters into a story doesn’t get the fact that Edward loves her pathetic ass, I’m going do something drastic. I don’t know what that is yet, but it makes me crazy and clearly I have issues. Boycotts and BarFlies by vjgm is a great example of a Bella that’s got some great substance, but is still a little unsure of herself. She can still be admired and sympathized without being annoying and whiny.

4) My biggest issue is unfinished stories. Some of you are really terrific writers and you have stories floating out there unfinished. I know life gets in the way and this is just hobby or past time for the majority of us… BUT, be respectful of a reader who reads 975 pages of your story and wants a damn ending. Is it too much to ask? One author in particular has left me hanging on 3 of her stories and I wouldn’t be mad except that she has 28 stories that she is working on and basically only the oneshots are finished. This lady is a seriously outstanding writer but I can’t invest any more time in stories that will never see an end. You know who you are… please finish what you started, then write some more because you are that good.

5) For the most part I am humbled by the truly talented so called “Amateur” writers out there. You guys are seriously gifted. How many stories can be written about the same two star-crossed lovers and still have it be interesting? Apparently, a lot. I have read absolutely more good stories than bad and even the bad ones have their moments. I will read anything: AU, AH, canon pairings, Slash, Femslash, horror, thriller, romantic, comedy, drama, oneshot, pure smut, PG…etc. I have enjoyed all genres. I am wiling to give a writer my undivided attention, so even if it’s bad I will see it to it’s completion rooting for it to end well.

My Best list includes: If you read any of these stories you will not be disappointed. They are outstanding on every level.

Emancipation Proclamation by kharizzmatik

The Red Line by WinndSinger

Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003

Poughkeepsie by Mrs.TheKing

If Love Could Light a Candle by Pastiche Pen

The Port Angeles Players by WriteOnTime

You Get Me Closer To God and My Whole Existence Is Flawed by americnxidiot

The Submissive, The Dominant and The Training by tara sue me

Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon

Simple by SubtlePen

Blood Moon by nashstheory

The Honeymoon Edward's POV Part 1 and In Search of Forever: Alice's Story by Obsessedtwibrarian

The Sacrificial Lamb and The Lion and The Jackal by Lalina

Shadows by Pears13

Boycotts and Barflies by vjgm

If anybody decides to read this...Thanks for listening to my little rant.

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A Big Enough Umbrella by bornonhalloween reviews
Even a superhero has to pull on his tights one leg at a time. An "Old School" sequel as told by Umbrella Man himself. Rated M because they can't keep their hands off each other.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,349 - Reviews: 570 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 477 - Updated: 6/20 - Published: 5/29
A May to December Romance by Positively 4th Street reviews
My name is Isabella Swan and today, I signed a contract that would put me in the steel tight clutches of a man I didn't know, for four years. A girl's gotta pay for college somehow, right? AH. Come meet 'Sugar Daddy' Edward. **Chapters 1-18 are being edited and are subject to small changes.**
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 195,355 - Reviews: 9445 - Favs: 9,597 - Follows: 11,549 - Updated: 3/19 - Published: 1/7/2011 - Bella, Edward
Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel reviews
Bella begins working for the elusive and distant Edward Cullen who she discovers is hiding behind an elaborate charade to maintain his secret lifestyle. Bella is determined to find out the mysteries of Edward Cullen but with what results? AU, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,624 - Reviews: 14757 - Favs: 12,532 - Follows: 5,687 - Updated: 3/23/2016 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fly Away Home by LyricalKris reviews
Because her own life was so devoid of it, Bella always wanted to protect sweetness and innocence in other people. Maybe that was what drew her to Edward, a strange, socially awkward, but very sweet man. She couldn't know the secret he held-that he wasn't what he seemed, and she was the one being protected.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 28 - Words: 95,932 - Reviews: 2584 - Favs: 1,579 - Follows: 1,623 - Updated: 3/18/2016 - Published: 1/10/2015 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Age of Innocence by pattyrose reviews
On the eve of the Second World War, young Isabella has been taken from all she knows and is now stepdaughter to one of the richest men in America. Spending her summers in Washington State, she's unaware that this is where she & a young boy will find their fate, where childhood friendship will mature into the fiercest love: a love that must endure the end of innocence. Rated M. E&B.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 70 - Words: 392,641 - Reviews: 9124 - Favs: 2,143 - Follows: 1,862 - Updated: 2/5/2016 - Published: 11/10/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Little Dreamer by LyricalKris reviews
Our story opens with a frightened seventeen-year-old girl on the run- battered, starved, exhausted and nine months pregnant. How this is going to turn out is anyone's guess. Life never does know how to play fair.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 99,140 - Reviews: 4517 - Favs: 2,060 - Follows: 2,016 - Updated: 9/29/2015 - Published: 3/30/2015 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Darnay Road by counselor reviews
Starts out in summer of 1963. Sweet little ten year old Catholic school girl Bella Christine meets 11 year old smoker with armpit hair who really does live on the wrong side of the tracks Easy. She and Alice May are mystery solvers in their spare time, and Easy (E. C.) and his brother Jap (Jasper) will keep these two little ladies on their sleuthing toes. Warning: Might get hairy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,261 - Reviews: 6369 - Favs: 832 - Follows: 756 - Updated: 3/19/2015 - Published: 6/1/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Ex-con by counselor reviews
Edward is fresh out of the big house and Bella is his new boss.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,086 - Reviews: 10314 - Favs: 1,467 - Follows: 1,507 - Updated: 3/19/2015 - Published: 2/8/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Spin & Sway by pattyrose reviews
Sometimes, no matter how strong you are, life deals you blows that are too heavy to carry on your own. Sometimes, no matter how fragile you feel, you're the only one who can help bear the load of another. Sometimes when strong and fragile collide, the world spins and sways.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 49 - Words: 231,157 - Reviews: 10692 - Favs: 3,332 - Follows: 2,615 - Updated: 12/19/2014 - Published: 1/2/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tommy by HelloElla reviews
They were just kids, growing up much too fast. Each time they were about to drown they saved each other, until she disappeared the night of their high school graduation. Now, older & convinced she is still alive, Edward returns home in hopes of finding traces that will lead him back to Tommy, the tomboy girl who saved his life.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 99,908 - Reviews: 1784 - Favs: 846 - Follows: 1,253 - Updated: 8/24/2014 - Published: 11/24/2013 - Bella, Edward
The Keepsake by windchymes reviews
Some things you never forget, they just hurt too much to remember.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 165,561 - Reviews: 5437 - Favs: 3,591 - Follows: 3,191 - Updated: 4/15/2014 - Published: 11/18/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Small Bump by thimbles reviews
Pregnancy is an entirely natural process, one I'd studied and seen in all its stages. Yet in that moment, knowing that Bella was carrying our child, a little person somehow knit together from her and me, and the love we shared, it seemed a strange miracle—she seemed a strange miracle. Life, loss, love, and hope. (Angst rating applies to Ch. 1 only.)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,718 - Reviews: 1316 - Favs: 1,548 - Follows: 1,431 - Updated: 1/10/2014 - Published: 8/19/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Contractually Bound by LyricalKris reviews
She'd cost him everyone he'd ever loved. Surely a few months of marriage wasn't too high a price for her to pay in compensation.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 82,259 - Reviews: 5549 - Favs: 3,446 - Follows: 2,987 - Updated: 7/23/2013 - Published: 4/11/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Nobody's Little Girl by HelloElla reviews
A billionaire couple searches for their long lost daughter. A lonely, troubled young man finds and gives refuge to a homeless girl with no name. Paths are crossed and hearts are given, but you can't keep what was never yours.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 114,863 - Reviews: 5876 - Favs: 4,751 - Follows: 3,690 - Updated: 1/29/2013 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Best Thing I Ever Did by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Mini-sequel to The Best I Ever Had for FGB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 32,230 - Reviews: 1970 - Favs: 3,304 - Follows: 2,442 - Updated: 7/21/2012 - Published: 6/14/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Best I Ever Had by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Sex between friends complicates everything. Bella knows this. But she has no idea how much more Edward is going to complicate things.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 64,919 - Reviews: 7562 - Favs: 10,917 - Follows: 5,940 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hiding in Plain Sight by limona reviews
Bella is a witness in peril. Emmett Cullen is the deputy assigned to protect her. When the witness protection program isn't safe, Emmett asks Bella to pose as his brother Edward's fiancée until the trial. AU, AH, ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 141,120 - Reviews: 10729 - Favs: 12,051 - Follows: 12,628 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
Pinky Swear by kharizzmatik reviews
Bella always knew she loved her best friend, but it isn't until she finds out he's engaged that she remembers just how much. How far will she go to make him see he's marrying the wrong woman? A story about finding your heart and losing your head. AH E/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 149,334 - Reviews: 7186 - Favs: 6,106 - Follows: 4,255 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Firefly in Summer by primarycolors reviews
Edward finds himself back in the little beach town of his childhood when he inherits the local bar from his uncle. The elusive, pretty girl next door has killer legs, a sketchbook and secrets that are slowly eating her alive.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 188,377 - Reviews: 9880 - Favs: 6,878 - Follows: 4,416 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
If You Found Me at Last by monroeslittle reviews
If another person tells him who he is really supposed to be, he might tear his own ears off. post-Mockingjay.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,952 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 1,217 - Follows: 122 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E. - Complete
The Dark Muse by Alby Mangroves reviews
Safely numb, Marie has never had to question choices made so long ago. Until now. A chain of events has her running back to face truths, and the person she'd rather had stayed buried. Herself. AH, Angst, Suspense, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 22 - Words: 103,995 - Reviews: 1146 - Favs: 605 - Follows: 416 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 12/16/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Desperation by sweetishbubble reviews
What would happen if Jasper got to Bella in New Moon at her birthday party? **NOTE: THIS STORY IS CO-WRITTEN WITH LEESAM** Discussed on Twific Podcast 5/18/10
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,297 - Reviews: 572 - Favs: 428 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 10/13/2011 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wrenfield Hall by Wannabe Charlotte reviews
In 1870s England, Bella finds herself without home or family when her father dies. She secures a position as a housemaid in a country manor belonging to Lord Edward Masen. The two form a bond that is threatened by class differences and Edward's past.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 93,839 - Reviews: 3219 - Favs: 2,990 - Follows: 1,703 - Updated: 9/19/2011 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer by ericastwilight reviews
Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. But she falls hard, too, at the risk of breaking her own heart when the truth is revealed. EXB-AH-OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 328,966 - Reviews: 9496 - Favs: 8,603 - Follows: 5,764 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
We Come to Life Beneath the Stars by Lillybellis reviews
As Bella Swan starts over with hopes of finding her future, Edward Cullen is hanging on desperately to his past. She's treading water, and he's a corporate golden boy. They share an office, but few words...until one night changes everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 168,711 - Reviews: 5094 - Favs: 6,324 - Follows: 3,813 - Updated: 5/19/2011 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Through the Flames by SparklingTwilight reviews
One fateful night, 29y/o Edward must make the decision that haunts every firefighter's worst nightmares. In choosing between his life and that of another, life altering repercussions arise. Rated M. Contains graphic descriptions of fire. HF Warning.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 200,140 - Reviews: 7598 - Favs: 4,275 - Follows: 2,158 - Updated: 2/3/2011 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Complete
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14390 - Favs: 16,055 - Follows: 8,512 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Port Angeles Players by WriteOnTime reviews
New in the town of Forks and eager to please her boss at the university, Bella auditions for a local production of Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing". Her co-star is a handsome but confusing local doctor. Curtains-up on love. AH canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 170,459 - Reviews: 4573 - Favs: 3,955 - Follows: 1,600 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Simple by SubtlePen reviews
When you’re too broken to acknowledge you have a heart, what do you do when it starts beating? AU/AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 24,786 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Complete
Awake in the Infinite Cold by quothme reviews
Sometimes the fruit is forbidden for a reason. A mélange of Twilight and How to Be, with an Artward who so carefully and so softly sneaks under her skin and into her soul. Not your typical E/B romance. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 78,819 - Reviews: 3154 - Favs: 2,919 - Follows: 1,210 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
If Love Could Light a Candle by Pastiche Pen reviews
Edward Cullen: telepath, vampire, and psychologist. When a new patient ignites unfamiliar feelings in his soul, can he reconcile his past with his future? A la Midnight Sun. Warnings: Violence, lots of character death, and the usual. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 112,620 - Reviews: 2893 - Favs: 3,305 - Follows: 1,609 - Updated: 9/25/2009 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Anything But Conventional by kyla713 reviews
Edward Cullen is an Army brat, who has his entire life planned out perfectly, and can't wait to get out of this utterly dull town of Forks, WA. But then a whirlwind in the form of Bella Swan enters his life..AU/AH,some OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 123,888 - Reviews: 1998 - Favs: 2,749 - Follows: 1,283 - Updated: 9/9/2009 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Good Bella, Bad Bella by off-the-deep-end reviews
The much awaited story surrounding the one-shot 'White Carpet and Wall Sconces'. Read and Review. M FOR A REASON. Bad Boy Edward Cullen meets the studious Bella Swan. Do opposites really attract? And what is Edward's secret?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 36 - Words: 119,167 - Reviews: 4436 - Favs: 5,228 - Follows: 3,163 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Red Line by WinndSinger reviews
Edward is an exotic male dancer. Bella is a college student studying psychology and needs a subject to do her thesis on. Bella pays Edward to belong to her for 2 weeks so she can study him. Things soon get very interesting between them.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 40 - Words: 351,671 - Reviews: 19621 - Favs: 12,538 - Follows: 5,724 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Amputated at the Neck by Minisinoo reviews
An empath's thoughts about a telepath. Jasper's private concerns regarding Edward and Bella as they race towards marriage.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 41 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete