When-turtles-strike-back
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Joined 04-20-02, id: 202367, Profile Updated: 07-19-10
Author has written 7 stories for Harry Potter, and Twilight.

It is illegal to molest a manatee, I don't know this from personal experience i just read it on a sign somewhere.

I also like Harry Potter fanfiction more than the actual books... go figure.

LOOK AT THE BUNNY!!!! IT'S LULLING YOU INTO A SENSE OF CALM WITH IT'S FLUFFY CUTENESS. hah fools

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No Time With You by And-Go reviews
When it's time to help Harry defeat Lord Voldemort, Hermione will go as far as to go back to 1942. Then love creeps up on her. Was Complainte de la Butte. Story changed slightly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 64,987 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 5/31/2011 - Published: 6/25/2006 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
Random Thoughts by mctwist reviews
Random oneshots from all over the series... Draco's not gay, the Giant Squid consumes Britain, Harry and Ron walk in on Hermione... Professor Trelawney attempts to predict the weather, among other things, and Voldemort reveals that he had a sense of humor
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 42 - Words: 35,798 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
Once Upon a Freakin' Time by Evadne reviews
The Death Eaters attempt to do bad things, but mostly just do things badly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 29,923 - Reviews: 1959 - Favs: 2,037 - Follows: 694 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2002 - Voldemort, Severus S.
If It Was You by attica reviews
The fabulous sequel to Basketcase. “Malfoy,” she found herself saying, and not very nicely, either. “I love you.” To which he then promptly responded by slamming the door right in her face. DracoHermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 138,487 - Reviews: 1556 - Favs: 778 - Follows: 809 - Updated: 8/3/2007 - Published: 4/8/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Desperation by hyacinth beaver reviews
In the dictionary, DESPERATION is defined as recklessness due to despair. That's just how Hermione justifed her actions, they were all out of desperation. She had lost everything and she was willing to go back through time just to get it all back. THr!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,918 - Reviews: 515 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 7/12/2007 - Published: 1/28/2006 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
We Woke Up Married by CrazyGirl47 reviews
DracoHermione challenge response. AU sixth and seventh year. Exactly what the title says, but I'm putting as many new spins on the old cliche as possible. Primarily humor.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,256 - Reviews: 866 - Favs: 665 - Follows: 615 - Updated: 6/10/2007 - Published: 11/2/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M.
TOO LAZY TO THINK OF A TITLE by silverdragoneyes14 reviews
i was sleep deprived when i wrote this. i know you're going to like it though. you know how my stories are when i'm sleep deprived. i'm also too lazy to think of a summary.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 85 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/22/2007 - Complete
Blood Is Thicker Than Tears by atruwriter reviews
Draco's entire world is turned upside down when he's told his parents are not the Malfoy's. Struggling not to be killed and to become close with his brother he falls in love with one of his worst enemies, his brother's best friend. Sum inside. [ABANDONED - TO BE DELETED]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 61 - Words: 420,484 - Reviews: 3123 - Favs: 1,216 - Follows: 870 - Updated: 4/14/2007 - Published: 3/27/2006 - [Draco M., Hermione G.]
Twisted by Matchstick Fighter reviews
Blaise Zabini is a little... twisted. No, wait that’s a lie, he’s very twisted. BlaiseXNeville
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,268 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/23/2006 - Blaise Z., Neville L. - Complete
To Babysit Charlie by Paranoid Sarcasm reviews
Have you ever had to babysit for a family friend? And might I add for free? Welcome to my magical world. CWOC. I've been told the story is better then the Summary
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 52,403 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 6/1/2006 - Published: 6/17/2005 - Charlie W.
Full Moon by touchnotthecat reviews
Finn just wanted to finish the job. She was not a death eater but then she didn't exactly want to stop them either. Finn finds herself in the middle of a very real war. Please R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,434 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/23/2006 - Published: 4/19/2006 - Fenrir G. - Complete
Inferno by The Uncanny R-Man reviews
Chapter 15: Illyana Vs the Unstoppable Juggernaut in the Grand Canyon. 'Nuff said!
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 23,574 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/14/2006 - Published: 12/16/2004 - Complete
The Passion of Hate and Love by Callisto Callispi reviews
[WIP] It all started when they blew up Gryffindor's quidditch stands and were forced to serve a heinously long detention sentence...together! But it all got interesting thereafter. Hermione & Draco.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 145,355 - Reviews: 1258 - Favs: 1,166 - Follows: 610 - Updated: 4/18/2006 - Published: 12/20/2001 - Draco M., Hermione G.
And In My Pain, I Saw by pyrebi reviews
I, Fenrir, am the father of the new wolf. My affliction will spread like the plague, and those who once spat upon me shall hear my name and tremble.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,721 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/10/2006 - Published: 11/22/2005 - Fenrir G.
A Perfect Day to Elope by Fuschia Nicole reviews
Incomplete. 2nd Place FawkesAshes Wedding Challenge: A tale of stolen rings, involuntary cupcake queens, inspiring pop hits, houseelves, allergies, inlaws, pink pompoms, disgruntled guests, and the ONE BIG LIE that ties them all together.HGDM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 96,939 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 1/29/2006 - Published: 2/23/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Black Ice by L1701E reviews
Chapter 50 up! Complete! A side fic to TF's To Err is Human. What happened to Bobby Drake after the events of To Err is Human? Find out in this story! Next: Sapphire Epilogue! We check in with our hero, and a shocking surprise... RR Please! Suggestions ne
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 50 - Words: 89,459 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/8/2006 - Published: 1/17/2005 - Complete
Basketcase by attica reviews
DHr. “Is that really what makes you happy? Because I find that quite sad, relying on the failures of other people for your sick amusement when you can just look in the mirror every day and see the biggest failure in the world.” Oooh, BURN. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 292,537 - Reviews: 2667 - Favs: 2,469 - Follows: 594 - Updated: 12/30/2005 - Published: 7/22/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Gifts and Curses by todd fan reviews
COMPLETE! The 9th Sidney Chronicle has it's last chapter up!
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 36 - Words: 106,178 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/27/2005 - Published: 6/2/2005 - Complete
Plunky IV: The bride of plunky by todd fan reviews
Oh yes, it's Halloween, and so it's another Plunky story! Enjoy!
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,414 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/31/2005 - Complete
The Gryffindor Oracle by Abigail-Nicole reviews
Ever wonder what happened in the days of your favorite Marauders? Well, you're in luck, because the authoress found a stack of old papers going through her attic one day, and incidentally they proved to be the front pages of...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 33 - Words: 36,692 - Reviews: 721 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 8/21/2005 - Published: 6/30/2003 - Sirius B., James P.
Slugs and Snails by todd fan reviews
COMPLETE! The 4th in the 'pick on a group' series, the boys are packed off to Australia, much to Pyro's delight
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 30,888 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/11/2005 - Published: 1/28/2005 - Complete
Mum, Dad: Meet My Boyfriends by KissThis reviews
Hermione, Sirius, and Remus are blissfully in love, but what are our favorite characters to do when the Grangers hear that their daughter has a boyfriend. Singular. How ever is she going to explain that she has TWO?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,882 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 145 - Published: 7/14/2005 - Hermione G., Sirius B. - Complete
Will's Poems by Little Illy reviews
A collection of poems by Spike. My favourite Victorian poet come evil demon. [latest poem: A poem (or toast- if you will) for feeding vampires to drink to.]
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 5 - Words: 514 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/30/2005 - Published: 7/29/2004 - Spike
Death Eater Meeting by thepm reviews
What happens in a Death Eater Meeting? And what is Snape doing there? And WHY is Voldemort called the ULTIMATE EVIL when he has a serious penchant for cookies? Read and find out!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,808 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/10/2004 - Published: 4/17/2004 - Severus S., Voldemort
The Inside Story by Neva reviews
Completed. A Subreality reporter interviews the Evo characters concerning the way they're portrayed over the course of more than two seasons of fan fiction.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 20,483 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/4/2003 - Published: 3/5/2002 - Complete
Harry Potter and Saving Himself by Devonny Rose reviews
COMPLETE Harry, along with Sirius and Remus, go on an adventure to stop Voldemort from destroying the world, through the past.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,878 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 10/10/2003 - Published: 3/14/2003 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
An aMAIZEing tale by todd fan reviews
COMPLETE! This little beauty is a twisted mixture of a real experience and the result of not being to get to the internet. It is odd, i warn you.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,075 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/29/2003 - Complete
Father son quarrels by Becs reviews
Pietro ropes Magneto into going to a parent-teacher interview so that he can spend some quality time with his dad. But; things go horribly wrong. Magneto won't take off his cape. Pietro and Magneto are constantly fighting and Daddy's found out about Pietr
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,783 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/23/2002
The Forbidden Florist by Lady Rathe reviews
Draco's naked, Hagrid appears to be hoarding herrings, the centaurs have a B.O problem, and Voldemort is wearing red stilettos. Expect the worst.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,608 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/24/2002 - Published: 1/27/2002 - Voldemort, Harry P.
How do you date a girl!?! by Becs reviews
Toby has a problem. He's been asked on a date and because of rumours, he says yes. (Poor guy. He don't want people to know) He gets lessons from Pietro.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,172 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/29/2001
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Lucius Malfoy is Super fine!
When you're Lucius Malfoy society forgives you for swindleing little old ladies...because you're Super Fine, and you have a shiny cane. OneShot. plz read/reveiw.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,669 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/16/2011 - Lucius M. - Complete
Lord Voldemort and the Evil Wheel of Doom! reviews
The Dark Lord's eternal struggle against speech impediments and coming up with new and exciting ways to torture his "noble" Death eaters. His life would be so fullfilling if it wasn't for that damn ever growing grass! A Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,538 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Yellow Hat reviews
The yellow hat is the most evil entity in the entire magic world and Harry Potter who ironically released it must put a stop to its random evilness.chapter 17. the end is now.or is it?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 15,363 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/18/2009 - Published: 6/11/2004 - Harry P.
Blogging with Angry Vampires!
So if you were a vampire in the real world what would you think of Twilight. well here's a peek into the blog of one. How does he feel about it. umm he's not a fan. M for language and content. he's a potty mouth
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,584 - Published: 4/6/2009
The Legend of Skittlzz: Chasing the Rainbow reviews
This hurts my insides...like brain melting ACID! okay so this fic is creative diareahh arrg how do you spell diariah, why can't you spell check summaries i sort of had this brain hemmorage awhile back, and Skittlzz the white rapper was born.i hurt
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,234 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Draco M.
Sometimes I Love you reviews
I wish i had no heart, that it turned cold. I wish that i was with him instead, but i'm not. I'm not the type of women that breaks up a happy family, or maybe i would be if Harry was that type of man. Ginny has a great husband, but he should be with me
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 869 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6/2008 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
In the Memory Of reviews
A series of oneshots dedicated to the dead of Harry Potter 1st one has HBP SPOILERPLZ Read and Reveiw PLZ CHAPTER THREE IS UP!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,708 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/6/2006 - Published: 8/11/2005