Author has written 39 stories for Naruto, Twilight, Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, 2010, Portal, Glee, Doctor Who, Dexter, Elder Scroll series, and Sherlock.
Once upon a time there was a thirteen year old girl who owned a particularly feisty ASUS. ASUS was her best friend. It was summer. She had what could be called ‘muse fever’ and was writing constantly, no matter the hour. She started reading wonderful fanfictions of unicorns and rainbows which were written in a facebook-esque style. The thirteen year old girl (which we will call NyA AnY, NyA for short) promptly fell in love with it. They made sweet, comedy love with each other which was adored by the public, as proven by the 140 reviews for four chapters. But alas, as it was just young love, it did not last. The school whore (her name shall not be revealed, but for storytelling purposes we will call her ff) came between them and took mr. fbstyle away from her. Heartbroken, NyA cried for like five seconds before noticing she had received a magical PM of magic. It was a short but sweet one, declaring that mr. fbstyle will be missed. NyA felt appropriately comforted by it. The road to getting better was long and difficult, as it lasted 3 days, but after that period of time, NyA finally moved on to a new fandom altogether. ASUS, who is stated above as her best friend, got angry, as she (ASUS is a girl, by the way) had grown fond of the fandom. In a fit of rage, her charger caught fire. Literally. NyA panicked, threw ASUS on the couch, grabbed the charger and swung it on the terrace. Of course, it was but a minor concern, as NyA’s techno dad got another one after a week of groveling and washing the dishes.
Now, it’s been three years, and the butthurt NyA received from having her lover snatched away from her has long since dissolved into annoyance. She’s changed pennames and fandoms countless of times. She’s been known across the interwebs as anyyany, redpaintsplatter, KThxBai and gallifrey calls now for her less-than-average fics from fandoms such as Naruto, Harry Potter, Sherlock, Doctor Who (not Twilight, never Twilight, that never happened and you can’t prove it). NyA (she will now be called gcn) has since matured, gone through the harsh reality of eighth grade and two years of high school, elder brothers which will always be better looking than you, and the evils of 9gag. She has grown, and is ready to face the challenge of responsibility – thus, she will embark on an adventure: write and finish a successful multi-chaptered fic.
Of coure, knowing gcn the story will be crap and have a grand total of one review per chapter – a burning flame. It will never be finished – it is doomed to fail, but gcn wants to try and write it anyway. Armed with her trusty friend SONY Vaio (ASUS became a duckfacing whore – you know how middle school friends are) and her intelligent boyfriend eeephone armed with an adorable little sister named 3G internet, gcn will hopefully come close to succeeding. As in, write and post at least five chapters.
This, dear friends, is the end of NyA. And anyyany. And redpaintsplatter, as that crazy bitch ran away with KThxBai to Mexico. But gallifrey calls now is young, and shall be until the end of time. Or at least until she gets bored of the name and changes it, which will mean she’ll have to write a new hilarious bio.
And now, ladies and gents, below is a melting pot filled with crap from the days of NyA, anyyany, redpaintsplatter and KThxBai, as well as new and shiny fics from the reign of Lady gallifrey calls now, who will be named the next Queen of Englandtonia, an imaginary land which consists of Londonesia. That imaginary land happens to contain something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue (The TARDIS, fyi). All those who like me and review my shiny posts will get a ride in space. And time. Whatever suits your fancy.
Fic info dood:
Posted on the spectacular date of 10/12/09 is my first fic named “Invisible”: it’s a songfic from the days where my muse got off from reading a lovely dysfunctional pairing called ItaSaku – fandom Naruto. ASUS and I wore friendship bracelets back then.
Next comes “10 Things that Explain Why I Should Be With Sakura”, posted on the date of 10/28/09. It is not a songfic, but a so-called humor fic. Starring Sakura and Sasuke from the Naruto fandom.
One the not at all significant date of 12/18/09, or the Day That Never Was, we have “Damn You, Alice” and another songfic “I’m Only Me When I’m With You”. Clearly I had a fetish for Taylor Swift back then. The fandom the two crap-stories are written in is so utterly ridiculous that I don’t know why I don’t remove the bloody things and be done with.
12/18/09 (man that was an active date) comes the sequel to 10TtEWISBWS, with the rather creative title of “10 Things That Explain Why Sasuke Needs to be Hit”. The story was originally named “10 Things That Explain Why Sasuke Needs to be Hit in the Crotch” but, alas, ff struck again. This story thing is a perfect representation of why sequels are a MUST NOT. They suck, especially if you forgot the format in which you wrote the original story in.
After a break, we arrive in 2010! The first story of that year is “Of Colors, Birthdays and Proposals”! It is less shit than the other ones, but still pretty shit as it lacks consistency. Also, as I read it again recently, I realized I needed to go to the dentist. Immediately. Naruto fandom, ItaSaku, yada yada yada.
“Hitotoki Ryokou no Jutsu” was posted on 2/9/10 and I shall warn you – it will not be completed. Ever. Also, it is crap with a crap-cherry on top, so I don’t know why it got 21 reviews so far. It’s random, it lacks the power of tense and completely, painfully OOC. Do not read it.
Another inconsequential date is 3/5/10, the day of “When Twilight Characters find The Cullen Song”. This one is a bit more glorious, as it is the time when I began realizing Twilight is shit and thus it makes fun of it. Sort of. I haven’t actually remember what’s in it, but I’m too terrified to even click on the link.
Time for celebration, people! On the day of 3/27/10 my first Harry Potter fanfic was posted! Rather good, if I do say so myself. Still crap, compared to other writers, but it was my first halfway decent story. “Simplicity” was written with a large dictionary in my lap as I needed to find one word for each letter of the word “Simplicity”. I don’t know if anyone who read it actually noticed it, but it’s an Easter Egg thing. Just fyi.
4/5/10 is a day I remember clearly – I went to the mall with my mum and we watched Alice in Wonderland the Tim Burton version. I became entranced and wrote 412 worth of words in less than three minutes. I posted it, got 4 measly reviews, and then half a year later I read it again and thought it was crap. This usually happens to me. It’s called “Halo”.
Another uncompleted story, posted on 4/8/10, called “Maito Gai’s Nice Advice”. The only thing I like about it is the title. Kind of witty, if I do say so myself.
6/29/10 is the date I tried angst. “Senbon Needle” is a story that was written after ASUS got mad at me and blew up the charger, leaving me with my dad’s small laptop.
Ooh, I like this one. Written on the date of 7/5/10, “Day With My Younger Brother” is random and confusing, but I like it as it is. The 20 people who favorited it seemed to share my opinion.
7/21/10 is the day in which I tried my hand at time travel once more. After “Hitotoki Ryokou no Jutsu” I had settled for just reading time travel stories and not writing them, but as I couldn’t find ones I was interested in I wrote one myself. The disappointing result is “surprise, sasuke!”.
The same day (7/21/10) also brings a sequel! To my first story, “Invisible”. It is called “Hey There Delilah” and, say what you want, but I like it. So nyeah.
After a rather long break comes Christmas! Merry Christmas! 12/9/10 is the day I posted the Romanian story “Rareori, adesea”. An English translation is “Rarely, often”. A rather uninspired title. But a sweet fic. Can be considered canon, if you want. It doesn’t give any spoilers.
Nine days later, on 12/18/10 I post “The Twelve Days of Naruto”. It’s short but hopefully amusing – we have arrived in the short era of redpaintsplatter.
With redpaintsplatter comes “Dalliance”, posted on 12/29/19. No comments on that one, except that the tense was difficult to write in.
A short and amusing drabble, posted in 2011, on 1/19, is “TicTacToe”. It’s the first story of mine that I actually fully and genuinely like. I mean, come on… it contains Akatsuki, who are always awesome.
Next, we happen upon “Rank of Teamwork”! Last updated on 1/29/11, it is unlikely to ever be updated again, unless something magical happens and people suddenly start liking it.
Now, another drabble series, posted on 7/9/11, this time the fandom is Portal! Portal 2, to be exact. Chell and Wheatley must be the cutest half robot couple to ever exist, seriously. The title is “A Cup of Teardrops”.
7/13/11 – what a glorious day! “So You Charmed Your Closet, Then?” is one of my most popular fics, with 29 reviews! The fandom is Harry Potter, and the ship is Her-mayo-ninny and Sir Thomas of Voldemort.
Shortly after the date above, on 7/18/11, comes the sequel to “SYCYC,T?” creatively called “The Rest is History”. Again, proof that sequels are much suckier than originals. At a grand total of 22 reviews, in this sequel I forget that Sir Thomas of Voldeblah already had his shirt off.
The day of 7/26/11 brings one of my favourites – in the Harry Potter fandom, a Founders fic – “A Hogwarts Situation”. Crackity crack crack, featuring Godric, Salazar, Rowena and Helena. Clearly it is not appreciated by the populace, as it has only three reviews. Well crap.
Now we are in the era of KThxBai! The first story brought by KTB is called… “Call”. In the Glee fandom, with a grand total of 27 reviews, it is my first slash story. I’m proud of it. Yep. It was posted on 11/1/8/11.
Then we have “And A Bit Of Soul Searching”, Glee, also slash(Kurt and Blaine if anyone’s interested), it was posted on 11/22/11. Five reviews, but up to date still one of my favorite personal Glee stories along with three of the five that will follow.
11/29/11 brings another of my favorite: “To Be a Brother”. Starring Kurt and Finn. No slash guys, but some sweet brotherly Furt. Grand total of eight reviews.
With five reviews, still Glee, comes “Own Little World” which kicks Blaine Anderson in the face. You might have not noticed but I really like stories in which Blainers feels guilty. He should. He’s a self-centered little prick. I still like him with Kurt, mostly because they’re adorable together and Kurt makes Blaine feel guilty. If you want to know why exactly I want Blaine to suffer, PM me and we’ll talk. Reviews asking me this question will be ignored. PM ME PEOPLE.
Following up, posted on 12/21/11 we have “A Drop Of Mercury”. In my opinion, it’s short, sweet, simple, but at the same time holds a wibbly wobbly timey wimey of great measures.
On 12/25/11 we have small smut. My first small smut and hopefully my last. Writing it I got too goddamn flustered and I shall never attempt again. Seriously, reading smut is fine, but for me writing it if too difficult. It’s called “Last Friday Night”.
Next, another one of my favorites, “When I Get You Alone”. An amusing AU to Silly Love Songs, Glee, S2. It was posted on 2/28/12, starring bitchy Kurt and lovestruck Blaine.
Omaigod guyz, we’re reaching the end of KThxBai’s reign. Three more stories to go and then we reach gallifrey calls now. Posted on 3/27/12, we have “In Which the TARDIS Happens”. Yay, I’ve started watching Doctor Who by then. Also my first crossover, between Doctor Who and Harry Potter. Featuring the tenth Doctor and Rose, with a dash of Dumbledore and Quirrell. It is also my headcanon to how the Doctor read the Harry Potter books. None of that “the Doctor is Barty Crouch Jr.” nonsense.
On 4/22/12 is the first story I wrote containing my favourite Doctor Who character. It is a crossover in which my favorite character from Glee (Kurt) turns out to be my favorite character from Doctor Who by means of magical fobwatch of magic (the Master). It is called “here come the drums”. Read it nao.
Last of the KThxBai reign, “Let’s Have Dinner” is a crossover between Doctor Who and Sherlock, in which Sherlock Holmes is actually the Master. It is post End of Time, way post End of Time. Because, you know, the Master’s escaped from Time Lock. Featuring Eleven and the Master. It was posted on 5/21/12. I sort of want to write a longer story in that ‘verse, which will contain awesome Companion!John Watson.
Now we arrive at the present time. gallifrey calls now is our queen and we will obey her. She has written one story, published on 6/29/12 called “The Master Doctor”. A crossover between House M.D. and Doctor Who, but you don’t need to watch House to get it, which is why I didn’t post it as a crossover. In which the Master is House and the Doctor is ten.
So that was it! 35 stories in total, all of them since July of 2009.
I am praying to the gods of BBC that they bring our lovely Simm!Master back. Cumbermaster works too. But Simm, I like Simm.
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