Author has written 25 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Darren Shan Saga/Cirque Du Freak, Mummy, Green Lantern, Young Justice, DC Superheroes, Harry Potter, Merlin, Game of Thrones, Teen Titans, Transformers/Beast Wars, and Kane Chronicles.
My current or upcoming stories:
Alexander Chronicles: My twist on the Rick Riordan mythology, with a son of Jupiter as Percy's best friend, and one with his own destiny. There are currently four complete parts and one in progress, and it's best if you read all the parts in order to understand it. I'll update as soon as I can, but the Muses are not exactly being kind right now. Parts I-IV are currently undergoing a rewrite to reflect new canon facts and will be published as a new story.
Altered Fates: A Harry Potter slash series that is about a Half-Blood raised as a Muggle by his birth parents-a Muggle born wizard and a pure-blood witch and his eventual romance with a Housemate as well as how he affects Harry's life during the Second Blood War. This story is completely written up to Third Year, but is delayed due to my sharing of a Beta. Now cancelled
Locust Years: A rewrite of the original Altered Fates without my OC, where Draco shows up for the Midnight Duel with an offer to tutor Harry so they can have a proper duel. That, combined with other, seemingly minor changes, alters the fates of everyone involved in the Second Blood War. As yet unpublished.
Hallows War: An upcoming answer to a forgotten challenge: After the defeat of Voldemort, Harry and a small group of friends end up in an alternate reality. One where the Dark Lord still wreaks havoc on Wizarding Europe. However, there's something slightly off about this world. There are TWO Dark Lords ruling Europe, and the Hogwarts Headmaster is . . . Tom Riddle? As yet unpublished.
Memoria: A birthday fic for Superboy/Kon-El. New 52-verse. Barry Allen is not the only one who remembers what the world was like before the Flashpoint, Superboy does as well. However those memories are currently blocked, and only somewhat accessible during his VR simulations. But when Harvest sends him out to capture Red Robin, the memories are unleashed, and Connor Kent returns, stronger and more powerful than ever before. On hiatus as I focus on other stories and wait for inspiration.
Once More Into the Breach: My upcoming answer to reptilia28's Death Challenge, sort of. Harry dies for the 65th time and decides to relive his life, starting at Diagon Alley, but he discovers that his choices aren't the only things that have changed his future. A second slash story, no Harmony for this answer, sorry!
Out of Desperation: Another upcoming Challenge answer, this one to Lil Devyl's Half-Blood Prince Alternate challenge. Instead of going to Severus, Narcissa goes to the one person she knows she can trust with Draco's life: Draco's archrival, Harry Potter.
Tabula Rasa: An answer to DZ2's Forget-Me-Not Challenge. Harry is in the middle of a Potions class when he swallows a potion that awakens him to the manipulations of He-Who-Has-Too-Many-Names, and reveals who his true friends really are. But many challenges await him, as the Tri-Wizard Tournament has returned, as well as an ancient evil seeking to conquer all of Britain. On hiatus for now.
Thanks to the Basilisk: My answer to ProudMudblood's Second Year challenge. A few small changes leads to a completely different life for Harry, starting with who his friends are, and going all the way through the end of the war.
The Kiss: An upcoming story that asks what kind of repercussions could there be if a Dementor had Kissed Harry in Third Year. It will start on the train when the Dementor first comes aboard, and, well, we'll see where it goes from there.
By Skill Not Force My first major crossover, between Harry Potter and A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones. Slytherin!Harry and three friends leave Britain after the defeat of Voldemort and Umbridge is named Minister of Magic (gah!) Umbridge's first act: declaring Harry a Dark Wizard. To escape, Harry and company modify the Vanishing Cabinet and arrive in Westeros soon after Robert Baratheon is named king. Their arrival changes the War of the Five Kings and the face of Westeros forever. On hiatus until I write to the opening of Game of Thrones.
Bleeding Multiverse: My Young Justice story, where an emotionally abused Marvel OC arrives on Earth-16 and joins Young Justice. I hope for some reader input in this story, as my OC accidently creates a bridge between the multiverses. On hiatus.
Stranger in a Strange Land: An alternate Superboy arrives on the Avengers:EMH Earth after the destruction of the Anti-Monitor tower in the Infinite Crisis and helps the Avengers become the heroes and team that they are meant to be.
Dragon Training: A planned How to Train Your Dragon fic where Hiccup becomes more than human because of his friendship with Toothless.
More Than Meets The Eye: A Transformers Prime fic focusing on Jack Darby, where there truly is more to him than meets the eye.
The Soldier: A planned Transformers fic that sees what could have happened if Sam had taken Will's words in Vegas/Mission City more seriously.
Amethyst Eyes: Another Game of Thrones story where Jon has his father's eyes, and when Robert notices, he is forced to flee Westeros for his life. Following Ned's advice, he joins up with Dany and Jorah, and becomes Jorah's squire.
The Game Stays the Same: Rhaegar has survived the Baratheon Rebellion, but eighteen years later, things look much the same. The Baratheon brothers plot against each other and against the crown, Cersei plots to claim the throne for her son Joffrey, and Jon Arryn has just been murdered, while Daenarys and Viserys hide in Essos out of fear of Robert Baratheon. But the few changes lead to a different outcome for all involved.
The Point of No Return: An upcoming High School Musical slash fic. While playing in Twinkle Town, Troy's grades in one of his classes starts dropping, making his teacher suggest a tutor: Ryan Evans. Due to their activities after their tutoring sessions, Troy develops a true passion for acting, and after the events of HSM2, the new friends convince Darbus to do a production of The Phantom of the Opera for their Fall Musical.
Alright, a little about me. I was born in March of 1988, I'm a guy, I have absolutely no romantic history whatsoever, with guys or girls. I'm a Christian who thinks he might be gay, and is completely terrified of the idea of my mom or little brother finding out-extreme homophobes. I'm a major fan of Star Trek, Star Wars, Percy Jackson and it's companion series, High School Musical, Green Lantern, Smallville, and I'm a (relatively) new fan to Harry Potter and Game of Thrones. I LOVE slash stories, but I can also appreciate straight stories, assuming it's the right pairing. When I review, it's usually because I have a question about the chapter.
Why do people go after Reading the Books stories on this site? They aren't against the rules, the rules are against MST stories. And, using the Wiki description of MST3000 as the basis, the banned stories are: "a running commentary on each film, making fun of its flaws and wisecracking (or "riffing") their way through each reel in the style of a movie-theater peanut gallery." Most Reading the Books stories are in fact the prequels to a planned story where the author sends one or more character into the past with the books in an attempt to change the past and make a better future, or they are reading the past/future in order to make the future better, so how are they MST stories? MST stories make fun of the story, they do not make serious comments, ever.
My Favorite Pairings: Italics are OTP
Harry Potter: Harry/Tom, Harry/Neville, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Twins, Harry/Draco, Hermione/Regulus, Albus Potter/Scorpius
High School Musical: Troy/Ryan
Green Lantern: Hal/Kyle
Smallville: Clark/Lois, Clark/Chloe, Clark/Oliver
Twilight: Bella/Jasper, Bella/Edward, Edward/Jasper
Percy Jackson: Percy/Nico, Percy/Jason, Percy/Annabeth, Percy/Luke
Game of Thrones/Song of Ice and Fire: Tyrion/Sansa, Arya/Gendry, Ned/Cat, Rhaegar/Lyanna, Jon/Dany, Robb/Talisa
My Least Favorite Pairings:
Harry Potter: Harry/Voldemort, Harry/Death Eater(most of them), Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Snape (they hate each other too much!) Hermione/Death Eaters, James/Anybody besides Lily and vice versa
Smallville: Clark/Lex, Clark/Pete, Chloe/Pete
High School Musical: Troy/Gabriella
My Harry Potter Pet Peeves:
Horcrux: Every so often in the fics where the Horcruxes show up, I find the author referring to the soul piece as the Horcrux. Guys, the Horcrux is the CONTAINER, not the actual soul! Harry, Rowena's Diadem, Nagini, the Resurrection Stone, Salazar's Locket, Helga's Cup and Tom's Diary are the Horcruxes, not the souls inside them!
Parseltongue VS Parselmouth: People, Parseltongue is the LANGUAGE of the snakes, and a Parselmouth is someone who can SPEAK Parseltongue. Rarely, but noticeable, I've noticed people saying that Harry is a Parseltongue, which I guess could be understandable, but it's still incorrect.
Wronski Feint: Several times I have seen writers describe any steep dive that could lead to a crash as a Wronski Feint. Ladies and gentlemen, pick up a bloody dictionary! A feint is a DECEPTIVE MOVE, in this case a fake dive after the Snitch designed to make the other Seeker crash. Harry actually performs a Wronski Feint in Third Year, but what the movie shows Harry do in Philosopher's Stone is not a Wronski Feint because he is actually going after the Snitch.
Hermione betraying Harry: Ladies and gentlemen, WHY do you believe that Hermione would betray Harry so easily? Starting in Fifth Year, there is a SLIGHT possibility of that, seeing as how Hermione is at a magical house without Harry around, but before then? Hermione is easily his most loyal friend in canon, so WHY is it so popular for her to betray her FIRST FRIEND? Remember, Hermione, like Harry, had no friends before Hogwarts and, as I understand, is much like Harry in that she is extremely loyal to her first friends as a result. Knowing that, it is nigh on impossible for me to believe that she would betray Harry without some sort of mind control involved, whether that be brainwashing, potions or spells. So, if you're going to have Hermione betray Harry EXPLAIN WHY!
God totally owns fanfiction, everyone on it, every thought concerning it, every thought otherwise in the world, every particle in the world and universe, Is loving and amazingly forgiving (takes a dramatic gasp of air and continues) has power and wisdom beyond even our wildest dreams, and DOES EXIST . If you agree, please, do copy and paste.
If you are a Christian, paste this on your profile.
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
If you feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us,
If you believe in the one true God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you truly believe in God, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Jesus is your savior, copy and paste this into your profile.
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it?
Re-post this if you truly believe in God, and even if you don't.
Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
If you’re in love with a fictional character copy and paste this in your profile. (Chloe Sullivan, Neville Longbottom and Nico di Angelo!)
I hate when people say Hades is the devil! If you actully read Greek Myths he is the god of death meaning good and bad people go to him when they die. He is not evil, he is strict but fair. "But he kidnapped Persephone." Well if you were surrounded by the dead all the time wouldnt you want someone to love and one of the most beutiful people to lighten up the place? Besides, Zeus approved of the match, why do you think it took him so long to do something about it?
Fan-Fiction is a huge part of my life. Some may think it's weird, some may think it's silly. Well, I think they're weird and silly. Fan-Fiction is important to me because it allows me to take characters and settings that I know and love, melt them all down, and then re-forge them in my own way. It is a great way for me to get feedback on my writing, allows me to play with other universes that I enjoy so much, and it's a great way to practice and develop my writing for the novels I'm working on as well. So yes, Fan-Fiction is a massive part of my life. It helps me escape. Post this on your profile if this fits you. :D
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose: me or your life.
Boy: My life.
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says:
Boy: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do EVERYTHING for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you think Bellatrix is creepy and should have been killed by Neville, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile. (If you don't believe me, just see the title of Altered Fates Part III!)
Found on xXJedi Knight BlazeXx's Profile-FF story prompts (They are just HILARIOUS!)
10. Does anyone on your friends' list read three hot?
Palpatine? NO WAY! Well, unless its' to kill him
Palpypie: that's mean
Random Arctic Fox: (kills Palpypie)
Four invites Three and Eight to dinner at their own house. What happens?
Palpatine: welcome to dinner
Luke and Leia: ahhhhhhhhhhh! Help us, please! (looking at neighbors)
Palpatine: that's mean
Four jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who rescues you, two, ten, or seven?
Palpatine: come to the dark side Blaze (leaps at me)
Me: AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE! HELP!
Anakin: God, stop scaring Blaze, Palpypie Sissyface (Slices Palpatine in half)
Palpatine's Ghost: ah come on
One decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what happens?
Ben: um Dad?
Ben: (points to burned down kitchen) We're going to need a new kitchen (points to empty charred seats) and a new audience
Three has to marry either Eight, Four, or Nine. Who do they choose?
Luke: (goes to hide behind Anakin)
Leia: (commits suicide)
Poseidon: (goes to hide in the sea)
Palpatine: why doesn't anyone like me?!
Everyone gangs up on Three. Does Three stand a chance?
Luke: why is everyone ganging up on me? I didn't do anything!
Everyone: true (walks off to gang up at Palpatine)
Palpatine: why me?! (Dies)
Everyone is invited to Two and Seven's wedding except for Eight? How does Eight react?
Leia: you're marrying my dad and yet I'm not invited
Blaze: well, I knew you would overreact
Leia: overreact? OVERREACT! WHY THE HELL WOULD I OVERREACT?!
Anakin: gee, I can certainly see where Jaina gets her temper from
Five and Nine get drunk and end up at your house. What happens?
Obi-Wan and Poseidon: (singing Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls)
Me: Ah come on, I hate that song, get out of here (Kicks Obi-Wan and Poseidon out) God, a drunk God, what a nightmare!
Big Harry Potter Survey Thingy
Are you obsessed with Harry Potter?
Could You Prove That Statement In Court?
I think so.
Do You Know Any Of The Characters Middle Name’s?
Jean, formally Jane (changed because of Umbitch)
? Who cares, she drugged Harry!
Have You Seen All The Movies?
Read All The Books?
What Do You Think Of JKR?
One of the best authors ever, although she does have her problems, especially with romance.
Fred and George
Harry and Sirius
Sirius Black and Harry Potter
Group Of Characters?
The Golden Duo-Harry & Mione
Sirius, at least HE is looking out for Harry's interests!
Harmony or Drarry
Expelliarmus, Stupefy and Sectumsempra
Chocolate Frogs (I love chocolate!)
12 Grimmauld (I know, odd, but at least Harry and Sirius could be together there!)
How can someone say one is better than the other?
Weasley's Wildfire Whiz-bangs!
Percy (blood traitor!) and Molly-she hates Sirius and mollycoddles Harry, thereby threatening his life, and I'm convinced she's the one that told Ginny how to brew the love potion for Harry and Ron for Mione
Umbitch and Bellatrix!
Marietta Edgecomb, Zacharias Smith and Cormac McLaggen.
HBP-Ginny DRUGGED Harry!
Harry/Ginny and Ron/Mione.
Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans
Bellatrix Black Lestrange-she tortured the Longbottoms and killed Sirius!
Any shop in Knockturn Alley.
Do you really have to ask? Toady!
Couples? What Do You Think?
Can you say drugged?
My straight OTP!
Harry's been DRUGGED!
Please don't make me sick.
Uh, she's got his oldest brother for a mate.
Under the right circumstances, why not?
Yes! One of the best couples ever!
No, those two are brother and sister!
Are you serious, Sirius? Then again . . . who knows? Has anyone written this?
Yes, once Moony gets over his fears
Yeah, they're perfect for each other.
Only Draco or Mione for Harry.
This Or That?
Harry or Ron?
Hermione or Ginny?
Neville or Seamus?
Snape or Slughorn?
Slughorn, far nicer and a true Slytherin
Fred or George?
Both of them. How many times do I have to say that?
Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?
Harry/Hermione, the other one is drug-created
Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?
Harry/Hermione, the other one is drug-created, again
Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna?
Harry/Hermione, again, how many times do I have to say it?
Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna?
Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione?
Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione?
ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey?
Hog’s Head Or The Three Broomsticks?
James/Lily or Snape/Lily?
Hogwarts or Hogsmeade?
Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley?
Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley?
Malfoy Manor, I LOVE Draco, and I think his home would be EXTREMELY interesting!
Bertie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees?
Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet?
Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?
Which Barty Crouch are we talking about? But to be completely honest, NONE!
Gyrffindor or Ravenclaw?
Now, before the Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione fans get on my back, allow me to point out several things.
First, for Harry and Ginny, Harry often mentions that he sees the Weasley's as family, and yet he falls for Ginny? Who would fall for their sister? Especially one that you hardly know, like Harry and Ginny. He spends, what, a grand total of three or four months with her, counting DA meetings and the month or more that she wouldn't talk around him, and all of a sudden falls for her? Doubtful. Then there's the way that he describes his feelings for her: a monster that rose up in his chest whenever he saw her with Dean. That isn't how you describe love, that is jealousy, and rather sudden, isn't it? Then there are her parting words to Harry in HBP when he's breaking up with her: "Well… I can't say I'm surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much." That is not the words of a girlfriend, but a fangirl who never got over her hero-worship and crush on the Boy-Who-Lived. Also, why would Harry not be happy unless he was hunting Voldemort? He would have been extremely happy if Voldemort just dropped dead!
Next up: Ron and Hermione. How the bloody hell did Rowling think that they would ever work? From the first time they meet, Ron and Mione have been arguing non stop with only Harry keeping the peace. They disagree on EVERYTHING! The only subjects they agree on are Harry and Voldemort, hardly a foundation for a good relationship. And even then, they had their disagreements. First Ron refused to believe Harry about the Goblet, while Mione did, and then Ron abandoned them during the Horcrux Hunt just because Harry and Hermione had come up with a good idea and it wasn't going as easy as he thought it would. Ron is the least trustworthy person in Gryffindor, easily. Oh, and speaking of Horcruxes, another argument against their relationship is the words of the Locket Horcrux. "I have seen your heart, and it is mine. I have seen your dreams, Ronald Weasley, and I have seen your fears. All you desire is possible, but all that you dread is also possible... Least loved, always, by the mother who craved a daughter . . . Least loved, now, by the girl who prefers your friend . . . Second best, always, eternally overshadowed . . . Why return? We were better without you, happier without you, glad of your absence... We laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice, your presumption-Who could look at you, who would ever look at you, beside Harry Potter? What have you ever done, compared with the Chosen One? What are you, compared with the Boy Who Lived?" That, combined with what the Mirror of Erised showed and his reaction about the Prefect Badge, says that the only reason Ron wanted Hermione is because there was a slight chance Harry liked her, and he wanted to prove himself better than Harry in some way. Then there's the fact that he insulted her badly enough to nearly end in her death, and when Harry mentioned that she didn't know about the troll, he basically said "So, what?" Then he claims that KILLING someone is a favor in Chamber of Secrets? With all of that, is it any wonder that I am a Hamony shipper? At least you can easily see Harry and Hermione together. She stood by him no matter what, they have a number of things in common, and there are obviously feelings there that are natural.
As for the other Weasleys, Molly is an overbearing mother that refuses to let her children grow up, do things that should be done or know things that they should know in the name of keeping them safe. What happens when keeping that information THREATENS them-for example, the prophecy in OotP. If Harry had known about the prophecy, (not even the wording, just the fact that it EXISTED,) he'd have known why he needed to practice Occlumency! Then in PoA, she doesn't want Harry to know about Sirius supposedly being after him because he's "happy not knowing." Has she never heard the phrase "Knowledge is power"? Harry may have been happier not knowing about Sirius, but he was safer KNOWING. Then she tries to stop the Trio from starting up the DA and hunting the Horcruxes. Without the DA, what would have happened during the Battles of Hogwarts, or during the Carrows' regime there? And without them hunting Horcruxes, Voldemort would have NEVER been defeated as they were the only ones who knew about them, and Harry and Hermione would have died before even getting on the Express.
Arthur on the other hand is completely whipped by Molly and has never once stood up for himself against her, so who could respect him? Charlie and Bill, well, we unfortunately don't know enough about them to really make any decisions, but at least they can stand up to the so-called 'Living Howler.' The Twins on the other hand, well, I consider them some of the best humanity has to offer-a couple of boys whose only desire in life is to make people laugh. They love doing that so much that they will defy anyone who tries to stop them from doing it.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.(duh!)
Proud TRYAN FAN!! If you're a Tryan fan, post this on your profile to show you will NEVER to turn to the dark side of Troyella, Ryella, Troypay, or Ryelsi...TRYAN FAN FOR LIFE!!
If you LOVE Tryan copy and paste this in your profile.
If you HATE Troyella and Zanessa copy and paste this in your profile.
WHETHER IT BE BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE AND NOTHING LESS THAN JUST THAT!
The single most terrifying thing in this world is intolerance, because intolerance generates hate and hate is behind nearly every tragedy in human history. Do your part to stop it, and stop it now.
If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy and paste this on your profile.(always have and always will)
If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Actually stayed up till 6 once. No lie!)
If you have ever had trouble with adding the copy and paste lines onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile, if you can!
There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people, copy and paste this into your profile.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," the sarcastic teacher said. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher. "Well, actually, I don't," said the student, "I just hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
Ninety five percent of kids out there are obsessed with being popular and fitting in. if you’re part of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow 929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, DarthKenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster, EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx David-El
If you’re so obsessed with Star Wars that you spend hours imagining yourself living in that galaxy, copy this into your profile.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
-- Girlbender875, Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx David-El
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'
He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
You now have two choices, you can : 1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart.
Found on someone's profile!! All the ones in bold are my favs!!
"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through"
"The cracks in the cement is a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break."
"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad"
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
If the SWAT team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you
I hear your silence loud and clear
"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?"
"Forgetting doesn't make it better, it just makes it hurt again when I remember"
"I wish I was eight again, because all had to do was tag me and I was it
Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
How can I miss you if you never left?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Help I've fallen and I can't...hey nice carpet!
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
There is a fine line between genius and insanity . . . and I have erased that line. (Dumbledore's motto)
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Life's Tough, get a helmet
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?
Only in America, do banks have Braille on the drive-thru ATMs.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
The cops never find it as funny as you do
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST be a WHORE with a BIG BUTT
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cybersex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion. (Would be in bold, but in this case it's true, though not because I'm conservative, it's because I'm a Messianic Jew)
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
If you hate stereotypes, copy and paste this on your profile.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; blacks still can't marry whites and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When… (All in Bold are True of Me)
You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor. (I would!)
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” (PLEASE, I'm his kid, I LOVE thunderstorms!)
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.
You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.
Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…
Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda. (Not true, if it exists, then Percy is out there somewhere!)
You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood. (Naturally, I don't quite feel comfortable in his territory!)
You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air. (Don't need to worry there, like I said, I'm his kid!)
You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.
You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.
You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??
Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.
When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.
You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas
You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.
You sometimes try to control water. (Air, not water! Percy's my cousin, not brother!)
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.
You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.
Anytime you see an orange or purple shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.
When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams about PJO characters/events (I have dreamed a dream, and I am writing it!)
That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.
Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.
You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.
You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.
Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"
When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"
When someone dies, you pray to Hades to allow them to go across Styx for free, because they don't have drachmas anymore.
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies
You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.
And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.
You make a list of characters never to anger (Not yet!)
You have ADD, are diagnosed, and are convinced that you are a demigod because of this.
When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive.
You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.
When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke.
You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.
You give all your siblings god parents (Son of Eris, definitely!)
You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.
You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.
You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.
You still think Thuke could happen.
You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.
You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.
You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy.
You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals.
Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.
You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them.
You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain.
They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico.
You think of creative names for Percy besides Seaweed Brain, such as kelphead16 because his head is full of kelp and there's an 85 chance he'll die at the age of sixteen. (Not anymore!)
You wonder if you'll be able to drive a car come your 16, provided Percy saves the world, because of that.
You know you're obsessed when you lose something, and say, "Come on Hermes! Give it back!!
You think all the popular girls at your school are children of Aphrodite. And say to all the braniacs at your school if Athena is okay. (Don’t hurt me Athena).
You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters.
You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head
Your internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog.
You and your other PJO obsessed friend cracks up if any one mentions the word Canada or Canadians.
You and your PJO obsessed friend start a fan club with only you two in it.
You get other people obsessed.
You have constant vivid dreams about the seventh book.
You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in the seventh book.
You jump up and down at the idea of SoM becoming a movie.
You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, TLO, TLH, SoN, MoA, HoH, BoO, PJO, HoO and use it in conversations.
Your favorite quote of all time comes from PJO.
You and your friend has "diss-wars" using PJO CHARACTERS
When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus. o
Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!!”
You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"
When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters (Guy, so not possible)
When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus/Hestia.
You put an offering to Demeter next to your garden.
You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…"
You say "Maia!" when you are wearing shoes.
You checked to make sure your principal doesn’t have a tail.
You know which pages the good parts are on.
You suddenly hate/love thunderstorms.
You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.
You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.
You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (Jupiter!)
You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.
You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.
Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.
You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.
You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.
The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”
You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.
You curse a god/goddess a lot. (I say, "Sons of Dis!")
You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room
You know PJO better then most sane people
You have links to every great PJO site
You add things to the list every day
You know what you would do if you were Percy
You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not (Please, I LOVE Nico!)
At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future
You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work
You give friends and youself a godly parent,
You are trying to learn Greek
You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.
You think of Percy every time you see a dark haried green-eyed boy
You have an instant crush on Nico!
You just have to research more about Greco-Roman mythology
You want to learn Latin (Already working on it!)
You copy/paste this onto your profile
Most of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over
You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your trying to get your friends to (Why do you think I'm so certain that I'm a son of Jupiter?)
You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO
Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree
You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them
You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god.goddess
You’re nodding and smiling when you read this
You own every single book
You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list
You call yourself a demigod
You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Theif told the truth, and the PJO series is real
You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO
Youv'e called someone you know a satyr.
You ran down your street/through the park with a plastic sword/stick screraming for Olympus/god or goddess.
When your mad at your parents you tell them you'd rather be god/goddess you hate's kid. (Ares)
When you hear about an earthquake on the news you start scolding Poseidon.
You try to talk to horses telepathically. (Not horses, but I would try eagles!)
You have a crush on one of the characters. (Percy or Nico, definately, and if I wasn't his brother, Jason!)
And thats how you know your obsessed with PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS!
20 Percy Jackson Questions
1) Percabeth or Prachel? Percabeth
2) Favorite guy character? Nico, Jason, and Percy. Go sons of the Big Three!
3) Favorite girl character? Selena and Hazel
4) Favorite god? Zeus/Jupiter! Go Dad!
5) Favorite goddess? Hestia!
6) Zeus, Posiedon, or Hades? Zeus, go Dad!
7) Is Luke hot? HADES YEAH!!
8) Would you join the hunters? Sorry, guy, can't join.
9) Archery or sword fighting? Archery, if I can have the Epirus Bow, if not, give me a gladius!
10) Iris Messaging or Hermes Express? Iris Messaging
11) Favorite minor god/goddess? Ops/Rhea, for saving Dad from Saturn/Kronos, or do Titans not count? If not, then the Muses!
12) Favorite book? The Lost Hero
13) Least favorite? The Last Olympian, cause Luke died and Percy actually tried to kill Nico!
14) Would you live year round at Camp Half-Blood or just go in the summer? Year-rounder, definately, though I'd prefer Camp Jupiter!
16) Are you a demi-god? DUH!!
17) Who would be your parent? Jupiter, duh!
18) Favorite minor character? Selena
19) Ethan or Luke? Luke. Believe it or not, I still like him!
20) Favorite monsters? Cyclops, they're so dumb, making them so easy to beat. (No offense, Tyson!)
Favorite Quotes Bolds are Top Favorites
"With great power . . . comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later."-Nico di Angelo (PJATO: TLO)
"You just . . . with a sword . . . you just-"
"I think the river think worked."
"Oh gee. You think?"-Nico di Angelo and Percy Jackson after Percy's bath in the River Styx and destroying Hades' personal guard (PJATO: TLO)
"You listen well, brother..."
(Iron Man crashes into Thor, knocking him away...)
"I'm listening."-Loki and Thor (Marvel's Avengers)
"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?"
"I'm not overly fond of what follows..."-Loki and Captain America (Marvel's Avengers)
"She will be destroyed!"
"No, 'cause this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet. And then I'm gonna save the Earth. And then, just to finish off, I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!"
"But you have no weapons! No defences! No plan!"
"Yeah. And doesn't that scare you to death?"-The Ninth Doctor and Daleks (DW:Bad Wolf)
'I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.' - Kurt Kobain.
Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.-Robin Williams
Do what you feel in your heart to be right for you'll be criticized anyway, you'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't-Eleanor Roosevelt
Those who matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter-Bernard Baruch
The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all. (Emperor from Mulan)
But where life is more terrible than death, it is then the truest valour to dare to live.-Sir Thomas Browne
He who has resolved to conquer or die is seldom conquered; such noble despair perishes with difficulty-Pierre Corneille
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better-Dr Seuss
The more that you read, the more things you know, the more that you learn, the more places you will go-Dr Seuss
Always mystify, mislead, and surprise the enemy, if possible; and when you strike and overcome him, never let up in the pursuit so long as your men have strength to follow; for an army routed, if hotly pursued, becomes panic-stricken, and can then be destroyed by half their number.-Lt Gen Thomas Jonathan 'Stonewall' Jackson
Captain, my religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me. Captain, that is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave.-Lt Gen Thomas Jonathan 'Stonewall' Jackson
Behold the turtle: He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.-James B Conant
Every one disguising the truth from a man who has a right to the truth is wrong, and ought not to be encouraged.-J Burnett
God forbid the truth should be concealed any way.-LCJ Wright
Veritas nihil veretur nisi abscondi: Truth fears nothing but concealment
Apologizing doesn't always mean that you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship over your ego.
To the world, you may be just one person, but to one person you may just be the world.
Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you imagined
Live like Heaven on Earth, love like you have never been hurt, laugh like no one is listening, sing as if no one can hear, dance as if no one is watching, dream like there are no impossibilities, play like there are no winners, give like you have plenty, smile until your face hurts, and cherish your friends and family.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain
Dare and the world always yields; or if it beats you sometimes, dare it again and it will succumb.-William Makepeace Thackeray
"Teal'c, Doc, open the door. Teal'c!"
"Lucy, I'm home!"
"I am not Lucy."
"I know that. It's a reference to an old TV . . . Never mind, open the door."
"I will summon the doctor."
"No, no, come on, I'm fine. Back to being myself. Just open up."
"I cannot be certain you are back to being yourself. You referred to me as 'Lucy.'"
"Oh, for crying out loud, will you just open the door."-Col Jack O'Neil and Teal'c (SG1-The Broca Divide)
"You know, for someone who's not wildly keen on heights, you're doing awfully well."
"Yeah, I've been doing a little trick Crawe taught me."
"What's the trick?"
"Picture something just ahead of you, within arm's reach. Something that makes you happy."-Isabelle and Jack (Jack the Giant Slayer)
All right! This is it! Now you all know me, so I'm gonna say this as simply as I can. If it's our time to die, it's our time. All I ask is, if we have to give these bastards our lives... WE GIVE 'EM HELL BEFORE WE DO!-Mifune (Matrix: Revolutions)
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than it seems
To a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.-Edgar Guest
We fight, get beaten, rise, and fight again.-Nathanael Greene
Today, at the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves but in each other. Today there is not a man or woman in here who shall stand alone. Not today. Today we face the monsters that are at our door and take the fight to them! Today we are cancelling the Apocalypse! (Pacific Rim)
"A man has to come to terms with life as it is."
"Life as it is. I have lived for over 40 years and I have seen . . . life as it is. Pain, misery, cruelty beyond belief. I've heard all the voices of God's noblest creature, moans from bundles of filth in the streets. I've been a soldier and a slave. I've seen my comrades fall in battle or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I've held them at the last moment. These were men who saw life as it is, yet they died despairing. No glory, no brave last words, only their eyes, filled with confusion, questioning 'Why?' I don't think they were asking why they were dying, but why they had ever lived. When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams - -this may be madness; to seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness! But maddest of all - -to see life as it is and not as it should be."-The Duke and Miguel de Cervantes in The Man of La Mancha
"I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."- Ron Weasley in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (One of the only things he says that actually IS quotable!)
'Now I'm going to bed before either of you get another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse expelled.' Hermione Granger in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. (Classic!)
"Give her hell from us Peeves!" -Fred Weasley in Order of the Phoenix
"We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one,
And Voldy's gone moldy so now let's have some fun!”
-Peeves after the death of Tom Riddle,
You just HAVE to love that Poltergeist!
Hermione looked murderous, "When I get my hands on that old fu…" Harry stopped her with a kiss. He pulled back and smirked, "Hermione my darling assassin, we can't kill him – yet. Besides, I believe if it has to come to that Tom has already called first dibs."
Tom smiled, "Hermione, I would suggest you focus on more pressing issues. Albus does not need more people trying to kill him."
Now all four teens looked at Tom who had an evil but playful grin on his face. Luna spoke up with a voice a mother might use with a devious child, "Tom, what have you done? You've been a naughty boy again haven't you?" Her face was completely passive, but the tone of her voice gave her playfulness away.
Tom put on his most innocent face – quite a feat that did not go unnoticed by the other 5 people – and said in a manner playing along with Luna's, "Well, I just didn't want Albus to be lonely and unescorted. I kind of asked that dear witch Bellatrix to 'play' with him."
Luna kept up her act, "Play with him Tom?"
"Well maybe I said kill him. But really, for Bellatrix it's the same thing. I made sure to tell her she could not visit him at Hogwarts though. Why would I want her to damage our castle?"-From Nom9de9Plume's story The Pureblood Conspiracy. Who couldn't laugh at this? I definitely recommend this story!
"And this book?"
"Basically, if you read the book, you will certainly have an idea of what I like; most of my fantasies derive more or less directly from that book."
"Oh, so it's a manual!" Harry laughed. "Great! Every girl should come with one. So, you're showing me the ropes, aren't you?"-Conversation between Hermione Granger and Harry Potter in Derlacroix's story Rocking the Boat, another story I definitely recommend!
It is the quality of one's convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.-Remus Lupin, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
The power of the Executive to cast a man in prison without formulating any charge known to the law, and particularly to deny him the judgment of his peers is in the highest degree odious and is the foundation of all totalitarian government-Winston Churchill (Too bad Harry didn't know this quote, or Sirius might have been free when he died.)
"What have I to fear?"
"The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. "Earth's Mighiest Heroes" type thing."
"Yes, I've met them."
"Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."
"That was the plan."
"Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they'll come for you."
"I have an army."
"We have a Hulk."
"I thought the beast had wandered off..."
"You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!" - Loki and Tony Stark: Avengers
We cannot change the past, and the future is often murky and unclear. But the present is ours to decide. That's why it's called the present.-Charles Xavier in Child of the Storm by Nimbus Llewelyn
Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but, you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.
Neo: What vase?
[Neo turns to look for a vase, and as he does, he knocks over a vase of flowers, which shatters on the floor]
Oracle: That vase.
Neo: I'm sorry...
Oracle: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
Neo: How did you know?
Oracle: Ohh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?-(Matrix)
Everything that has a beginning has an end. I see the end coming. I see the darkness spreading. I see death... and you are all that stands in his way.—The Oracle (Matrix:Revolutions Trailer)
Now, since the real test for any choice is would we make the same choice again, knowing full well what it might cost, I guess I feel pretty good about that choice, 'cause here I am, at it again.-Oracle (Matrix: Revolutions)
Many forms of Government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.-Winston Churchill-Speech in the House of Commons-11/11/47
I know who you are. I've talked to the police, the firemen, the people that you've helped. And I heard their stories about how you save lives. How you never ask for reward, or recognition, or even thanks. It doesn't matter what the newspapers say, or the politicians, or the whole world. They don't define who you are, you do. And not by your words, but by your actions. The truth will come out. But until then, I'm going to keep fighting, just like you do.-Captain America to Spider-Man in Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes-Along Came a Spider
My advice in making sense of temporal paradoxes is simple: Don't even try.-Kathryn Janeway in Star Trek: Voyager-Timeless-S5E6
What’s he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark’d to die, we are enough
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man’s company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call’d the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say “Tomorrow is Saint Crispian.”
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say “These wounds I had on Crispian’s day.”
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb’red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day!
-Henry V's St Crispin's Day Speech from Henry V
"Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace."
"William Wallace is seven feet tall."
"Yes, I've heard. He kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here, he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I am William Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men. And free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?"
"Fight? Against that? No! We will run, and we will live."
"Aye. Fight, and you may die. Run, and you'll live. At least awhile. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom?!"-William Wallace's rallying speech at the Battle of Stirling in Braveheart
Young Albert has made far too much of the assistance I gave him in Rome. When I arrived in the catacombs, I watched as the criminals, who tied Albert to a wall, threatened to cut off his finger and send it to his father as evidence of his abduction. The boy's reply to all this was "Do your worst." Life is a storm my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout, as you did in Rome, "Do your worst, for I will do mine." Then the Fates will know you as we know you, as Albert Mondego, the man.-Edmond Dantes toast to Albert Mondego (Dantes) in Count of Monte Cristo
"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." -Sir Winston Churchill
Success is hanging on after others have let go.-William Feather
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible-Arthur C Clarke
One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks-Jack Penn
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lessons afterward-Vernon Law
The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph-Thomas Paine
The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails-John Maxwell
Difficulties mastered are opportunities won-Winston Churchill
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving-Albert Einstein
Quality is never an accident . . . it represents the wise choice of many alternatives-Willa Foster
True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read.- Pliny the Elder
Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.- Siddhattha Gotama/Buddha
Jonathan: I don't know. It seems kind of out there
Martha: This coming from the man who's been hiding a spaceship in his storm cellar for the last twelve years. (Smallville: Metamorphosis)
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something"-Plato
No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it-Emperor, Mulan
I've heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan. You stole your father's armour, ran away from home, impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonoured the Chinese army, destroyed my palace, and . . ! You have saved us all.-Emperor, Mulan
"With hearts fortified with these animating reflections, we most solemnly, before God and the world, declare, that, exerting the utmost energy of those powers, which our beneficent Creator hath graciously bestowed upon us, the arms we have been compelled by our enemies to assume, we will, in defiance of every hazard, with unabating firmness and perseverence, employ for the preservation of our liberties; being with one mind resolved to die freemen rather than to live slaves."-Thomas Jefferson Declaration of the Causes and Necessities of Taking up Arms-1775
"I have never understood, why it is that the young are always willing to fight the wars of the old."
"It is not a selfless act. It is a selfish, defiant, pursuit of hope."-Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter/Harry Pierson in SiriuslyUnreal's Choosing to Change
The Dark is generous, it is patient, and it always wins-But in the heart of its strength lies weakness: One lone candle is enough to hold it back.
Love is more than a candle.
Love can ignite the stars.-Matthew Stover-Star Wars:Revenge of the Sith novelization
"You know, for a woman without a heart, Genevieve Teague certainly did have a lot of blood." Lionel Luthor (SV: Commencement)
"We've made too many comprimises already, too many retreats! They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far and no farther!" Captain Jean-Luc Picard (ST: First Contact)
"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is my policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God and Merlin can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival. We shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender. Even if we were pushed off our islands, we would continue the fight from France! Be the ordeal sharp or long, or both, we shall seek no terms, we shall tolerate no parlay; we may show mercy – we shall ask for none. We ask no favours of the enemy. We seek from them no compunction. I say to Voldemort: You do your worst! - and we will do our best! To achieve the extirpation of Death Eater tyranny there are no lengths of violence to which we will not go. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the Magical British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'”-Harry Potter in Locust years: The Fall of Dumbledore (currently unpublished) quoting Winston Churchill
"What happened to your survival instincts, Father? Fire and brimstone are about to rain down from the sky and you're sipping a cocktail like it's Sunday at a country club." Lex Luthor (SV: Commencent)
"Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk. There's no point." Brainiac to Bizarro (SV: Persona)
"You didn't have to wait till the last second, you know." Chloe
"What fun would that be?" Clark (SV: Noir)
"I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains" Anne Frank
Jack Sparrow (POTC:CotBP): "Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid."
Sheriff Adams: "If I had the answer to half the "whys" in (Smallville), I'd have a best seller on my hands." (SV: Crisis)
"Sometimes it's just easier to turn off the power." Chloe (SV: Mortal)
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster. And when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"We lost something." Anakin
"Not to worry. We're still flying half a ship." Obi-Wan
"This is where the fun begins." Anakin Skywalker
"So this is how liberty dies...with thunderous applause." Padme Amidala Skywalker
"Those who would give up their liberty in order to obtain some temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety, and will lose both." Benjamin Franklin
"I was beginning to wonder if you'd got my message." Obi-Wan
"I retransmitted it to Coruscant, just as you'd requested, Master. Then we decided to come and rescue you." Anakin
"Good job." Obi-Wan (Star Wars Episode II: The Clone Wars)
"It's not who I am, but what I do that defines me." Batman & Rachel Dawes (Batman Begins)
"Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up." Thomas Wayne and Alfred (Batman Begins)
"Every world needs its heroes, Clark. They inspire us to be better than we are. And they protect from the darkness that's just around the corner." Martha Kent (SV: Zod)
"There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes he must be crooked" Groucho Marx (according to Brainiac)
'If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.'-Cathy, Wuthering Heights
'I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!-Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights
Who will believe my verse in time to come,
If it were filled with your most high deserts?
Though yet heaven knows it is but as a tomb
Which hides your life, and shows not half your parts:
If I could write the beauty of your eyes,
And in fresh numbers number all your graces,
The age to come would say this Poet lies,
Such heavenly touches ne'er touched earthly faces.
So should my papers (yellowed with their age)
Be scorn'd, like old men of less truth then tongue,
And your true rights be termed a Poets rage,
And stretched miter of an Antique song.
But were some childe of yours alive that time,
You should live twice in it, and in my rime.
William Shakespeare- (How everyone should feel about their significant other)
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.-Prince Hamlet in Hamlet
"If everyone just ignored popularity and social standards and what society and conformity view as right and wrong, there would be no walls! Everyone could interact with everyone. Brainiacs could date cheerleaders... Jocks could date drama fags. Women could date women... men could date men! Our lives are in our hands, Troy."-Ryan in nek0-sama's story Scream, one of my favorite HSM stories
The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable—and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come.
It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace—but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! - Thomas Paine
Life was an accident, Jordan. It has no meaning. It has no purpose.
Life doesn't give US purpose, Black Hand. WE give LIFE purpose. -Black Hand/William Hand and Barry Allen/Flash-2, Blackest Night, Part Eight
The heart wants what the heart wants, even that which is not best for it.-Alexa, Wonder Woman
A poet once said "Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero," which means "Sieze the day, trusting as little as possible in the future." Most people only remember the first part 'Carpe Diem'-probably because not trusting tomorrow is too damn cynical. It is to me anyway. Sure, you can't rely on tomorrow, we're not guaranteed we'll have it, but we can't be afraid of it either.-Hal Jordan/Green Lantern 2814.1, Blackest Night, Part Eight
Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
the saddest are: it might have been-John Greenleaf Whittier
There will always be those who mean to do us harm. To stop them, we risk awakening the same evil within ourselves. Our first instinct is to seek revenge when those we love are taken from us. But that's not who we are. We are here today to rechristen the USS Enterprise, and to honor those who lost their lives nearly one year ago. When Christopher Pike first gave me his ship he had me recite the Captain's Oath, words I didn't appreciate at the time. Now I see them as a call for us to remember who we once were, and who we must be again. And those words? Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her five-year mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.-Captain James T. Kirk, Star Trek Into Darkness
The past is seldom as we would have it, the future yet to be known. Embrace the present, and strike all else from concern.-Spartacus-Spartacus: War of the Damned
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.”-Jojen Reed-A Dance With Dragons
A ghost who, on the same evening, carries off an opera-singer and steals twenty-thousand francs is a ghost who must have his hands full.-Monsieur Mifroid on the Phantom of the Opera-The Phantom of the Opera Chapter 18
My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it. I am old now, Frodo. I'm not the same Hobbit I once was. I think it is time for you to know what really happened.
It began long ago, in a land far away to the east, the like of which you will not find in the world today. There was the city of Dale. It's markets known far and wide. Full of the bounties of vine and vale. Peaceful and prosperous. For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom of Middle-Earth: Erebor. Stronghold of Thror, King Under the Mountain. Mightiest of the Dwarf Lords. Thror ruled with utter surety, never doubting his house would endure, for his line lay safe in the lives of his son and grandson. Ah, Frodo, Erebor. Built deep within the mountain itself, the beauty of this fortress city was legend. It's wealth lay in the earth, in precious gems hewn from rock, and in great seams of gold, running like rivers through stone. The skill of the Dwarves was unequaled, fashioning objects of great beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby and sapphire. Ever they delved deeper, down into the dark. And that is where they found it. The Heart of the Mountain. The Arkenstone. Thror named it "The King's Jewel." He took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine. All would pay homage to him. Even the great Elven king, Thranduil.
But the years of peace and plenty were not to last. Slowly the days turned sour, and the watchful nights closed in. Thror's love of gold had grown too fierce. A sickness had begun to grow within him. It was a sickness of the mind. And where sickness thrives, bad things will follow.
The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane, coming down from the North. The pines on the mountains creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind. He was a firedrake from the North. Smaug had come.
Such wanton death was dealt that day. For this city of men was nothing to Smaug. His eye was set on another prize. For dragons covet gold with a dark and fierce desire.
Erebor was lost. For a dragon will guard his plunder as long as he lives.
Thranduil would not risk the lives of his kin against the wrath of the dragon. No help came from the Elves that day, Nor any day since.
Robbed of their homeland, the Dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness, a once mighty people brought low. The young Dwarf prince took work where he could find it, laboring in the villages of Men. But always he remembered: the mountain smoke beneath the moon, the trees like torches blazing bright. For he had seen dragon fire in the sky and a city turned to ash. And he never forgave, and he never forgot.
That, my dear Frodo, is where I come in. For quite by chance, and the will of a Wizard, fate decided I would become part of this tale.-Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
"What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on? Hm?"
"All of them at once, I suppose."-Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
"I'm sorry, do I know you?"
"Well, you know my name, although you don't remember I belong to it. I'm Gandalf. And Gandalf means . . . me."
"Not Gandalf the wandering Wizard who made such excellent fireworks? Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve. No idea you were still in business."
"And where else should I be?"
"Where else-? Hm."
"Well, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me, even if it's only my fireworks. Yes. Well, that's decided. It'll be very good for you, and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others."-Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?-Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
You asked me to find the 14th member of this company, and I have chosen Mr Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know. Including himself. You must trust me on this.-Gandalf to Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
"The world is not in your books and maps. It's out there."
"I can't just go running off into the blue. I am a Baggins of Bag-End."
"You are also a Took. Did you know that your great-great-great-great-uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could ride a real horse?"
"Yes, well, he could. In the Battle of Green Fields he charged the Goblin ranks. He swung his club so hard, it knocked the Goblin king's head clean off, and it sailed 100 yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won. And the game of golf invented at the same time."
"I do believe you made that up."
"Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. You'll have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back."
"Can you promise that I will come back?"
"No. And if you do, you will not be the same."-Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
I would take each and every one of these Dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honour, a willing heart. I can ask no more than that.-Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Don't mind him, laddie, Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs, led by the most vile of all their race: Azog, the Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the king. Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing. Taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him. A young Dwarf prince facing down the pale Orc. He stood alone against this terrible foe. His armour rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield. Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied, and drove the Orcs back. And our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, nor song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call king.-Balin, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
"Mithrandir? Why the Halfling?"
"I do not know. Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I have found. I have found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I am afraid, and he gives me courage."
"Do not be afraid, Mithrandir. You are not alone. If you should ever need my help, I will come."-Lady Galadreil of Lorien and Gandalf-The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
"I'll tell you what happened. Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door. We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. He is long gone."
"No, he isn't."
"Bilbo Baggins! I have never been so glad to see anyone in my life."
"Bilbo. We'd given you up."
"How on earth did you get past the Goblins?"
"Well, what does it matter? He's back."
"It matters. I want to know. Why did you come back?"
"Look, I know you doubt me. I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag-End. I miss my books. And my armchair and my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back. Because, you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can."-Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf, Filli, Killi, and Dwalin-The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
"You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the Wild? That you had no place amongst us? I have never been so wrong in all my life. But I'm sorry I doubted you."
"No, I would have doubted me too. I'm not a hero or a warrior. Not even a burglar. Is that what I think it is?"
"Erebor, the Lonely Mountain, the last of the great Dwarf kingdoms of Middle-Earth."
"A raven! The birds are returning to the mountain."
"That my dear Oin, is a thrush."
"But we'll take it as a sign. A good omen."
"You're right. I do believe the worst is behind us." Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf and Oin, the last words of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
"I am taking back what you stole!"
"You will take nothing from me, Dwarf. I laid low your warriors of old. I instill terror in the hearts of men. I am King under the Mountain!"
"This is not your kingdom! These are Dwarf lands! This is Dwarf gold! And we will have our revenge!"
"Revenge?! Revenge?! I will show you REVENGE! I am fire! I am... DEATH!"-Thorin Oakenshield and Smaug-The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.-Gandalf the Grey to Frodo Baggins-The Fellowship of the Ring
My dear Frodo, Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month and yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.-Gandalf the Grey to Frodo Baggins-The Fellowship of the Ring
It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it’ll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding on to something…. That there’s some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.-Samwise Gamgee to Frodo Baggins-The Two Towers
Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden! Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter! Spears shall be shaken, Shields shall be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor! Death! Death! Death! Forth Eorlingas!-King Théoden at the Battle of Pelennor Fields-Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Certainty of death, small chance of success... What are we waiting for?-Gimli-Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!-Aragorn-Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Game of Thrones Quotes by Episode
Winter is Coming
"The Man who passes the sentence should swing the sword."-Ned Stark
"Robert will choose a new Hand of the King, someone to do his job while he's off fucking boars and hunting whores. Or is it the other way around?"-Jaime Lannister
"Their days are too long and their lives are too short."-Jaime Lannister on the Hands of the King
"Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour, and it can never be used to hurt you."-Tyrion Lannister to Jon Snow
"I'll say, 'Listen, fat man. You are not taking my husband anywhere. He belongs to me now.'"-Catelyn Stark on King Robert Baratheon demanding Eddard Stark become Hand of the King
"A Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair."-Magister Illyrio
"But even if the boy lives, he'll be a cripple, a grotesque. Give me a good, clean death any day."
"Speaking for the grotesques, I'd have to disagree. Death is so final, whereas life , ah, life is full of possibilities." Jaime and Tyrion speaking of Bran Stark
"Why do you read so much?"
"Look at me and tell me what you see."
"Is this a trick?"
"What you see is a dwarf. If I'd been born a peasant they might have left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. My father was Hand of the King for twenty years."
"Until your brother killed that king."
"Yes, until my brother killed him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new king, and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honour of my house. Wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has his sword, and I have my mind, and a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much, Jon Snow." Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister
"Do the Dothraki buy their slaves?"
"The Dothraki don't believe in money. Most of their slaves were given to them as gifts."
"If you rule a city and see the horde approaching, you have two choices: pay tribute or fight. An easy choice for most. Of course, sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes a khal feels insulted by the number of slaves he's given. He might think the men too weak or the women too ugly. Sometimes a khal decides his riders haven't had a good fight in months, and need the practice."-Daenarys Targaryen and Ser Jeor Mormont
"A bear's balls."
"And his brains and his guts, his lungs and his heart, all fried in his own fat. Well, when you're a hundred miles north of the Wall and you ate your last meal a week ago, you leave nothing for the wolves."
"And how do a bear's balls taste?"
"A bit chewy. And what about you my lord? What's the strangest thing you've eaten?"
"Do Dornish girls count? So, you roam the Seven Kingdoms, collaring pickpockets and horse thieves and bring them here as eager recruits?"
"Aye. But it's not all of 'em's done bad things. Some of 'em's just poor lads looking for steady feed. Some of 'em's high-born lads looking for glory."
"They have a better chance of finding feed then glory."
"The Night's Watch is a joke to you, is it? Is that what we are, Lannister? An army of jesters in black?"
"You don't have enough men to be an army and, aside from Yoren here, none of you are particularly funny."
"I hope we've provided you some good stories to tell when you're back in King's Landing. It's something to think about while you're drinking your wine down there, enjoying your brothels. Half the boys you've seen training will die north of the Wall. Might be a wildling's axe that gets them, might be sickness, might just be the cold. They die in pain. And they do it so plump little lords like you can enjoy their summer afternoons in peace and comfort."
"Do you think I'm plump? Listen, Benjen, may I call you Benjen?"
"Call me what you like."
"I'm not sure what I've done to offend you. I have great admiration for the Night's Watch. I have great admiration for you as First Ranger-"
"You know, my brother once told me that nothing someone says before the 'but' really counts."
"-But, I don't believe that giants and ghouls and White Walkers are lurking beyond the Wall. I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when that Wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it."
"You're right. The wildlings are no different from us. A little rougher, maybe. But they're made of meat and bone. I know how to track them and I know how to kill them. It's not the wildlings giving me sleepless nights. You've never been north of the Wall, so don't tell me what's out there."-Yoren, Tyrion, and Benjen Stark
Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things
"Is this some kind of trick? Why do you want to help him?"
"I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things."-Robb Stark and Tyrion
The Wolf and the Lion
"Look at this idiot! One ball and no brains. He can't even put a man's armour on him properly."
"You're too fat for your armour."
"Fat? Fat, is it? Is that how you speak to your king? (Both laugh. Lancel starts laughing.) Oh, it's funny, is it?"
"No, Your Grace."
"No? You don't like the Hand's joke?"
"You're torturing the poor boy."
"You heard the Hand. The king's too fat for his armour. Go find the breastplate stretcher. Now!" (Lancel leaves, both laugh again)
"'The breastplate stretcher'?"
"How long before he figures it out?"
"Maybe you should have one invented."-Robert Baratheon, Ned Stark and Lancel Lannister.
"Let's say Viserys Targaryen lands with 40,000 Dothraki screamers at his back. We hole up in our castles. A wise move. Only a fool would meet the Dothraki in an open field. They leave us in our castles. They go from town to town looting and burning, killing every man that can't hide behind a stone wall, stealing all our crops, enslaving all our women and children. How long do the people of the Seven Kingdoms stand by their absentee king? Their cowardly king hiding behind high walls? When do the people decide that Viserys Targaryen is the rightful monarch after all?"
"We still outnumber them."
"Which is the bigger number, five or one?"
(Holds up an open hand.) "Five." (Holds up a fist.) "One. One army, a real army united behind one leader with one purpose. Our purpose died with the Mad King. Now we have as many armies as there are people with gold in their purse."-Robert Bartheon I and Cersei
"How long can hate hold a thing together?"
"Well, seventeen years is quite a long time."
"Yes, it is."
"Yes, it is. What was she like?"
"You've never asked about her, not once. Why now?"
"At first, just saying her name, even in private, felt like I was breathing life back into her. I thought if I didn't talk about her, she'd just fade away from you. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I refused to ask out of spite. I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of thinking I cared enough to ask. Eventually it became clear that my spite didn't mean anything to you. As far as I could tell, you actually enjoyed it."
"So why now?"
"What harm could Lyanna Stark's ghost do to either of us that we haven't done to each other a hundred times over?"
"You want to know the horrible truth? I can't even remember what she looked like. I only know she was the one thing I ever wanted, someone took her away from me, and seven kingdoms couldn't fill the hole she left behind."-Robert Baratheon and Cersei
A Golden Crown
"Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl, bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. If I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle's shoes with goat shit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was 12, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel-"
"What happened next?"-Tyrion, Lysa Arryn and Robyn Arryn, on Tyrion 'confessing his crimes'
"You don't fight with honour!"
"No. He did."-Lysa Arryn and Bronn
"In the name of Robert of the House Baratheon, First of his Name, King of the Andals, Rhoynar and First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, I charge you to bring the king's justice to the false knight Gregor Clegane and all those who shared in his crimes. I denounce him and attaint him. I strip him of all ranks and titles, of all lands and holdings, and sentence him to death."
"My lord, this ... this is a drastic action. It would be better to wait for King Robert's return."
"Grand Maester Pycelle."
"Send a raven to Casterly Rock. Inform Tywin Lannister that he has been summoned to court to answer for the crimes of his bannermen. He will arrive within the fortnight, or be branded an enemy of the Crown and a traitor to the realm."-Ned Stark and Grand Maester Pycelle
"Can we take Syrio back with us?"
"Who cares about your stupid dancing teacher? I can't go. I'm supposed to marry Prince Joffrey. I love him and I'm meant to be his queen and have his babies."
"When you're old enough, I'll make a match with someone who's worthy of you; someone who's brave and gentle and strong-"
"I don't want brave and gentle and strong. I want him! He'll be the greatest king that ever was, a golden lion, and I'll give him sons with beautiful blond hair."
"The lion's not his sigil, idiot. He's a stag, like his father."
"He is not. He's nothing like that old drunk king."-Arya, Sansa and Ned Stark
"You shall have a golden crown that men shall tremble to behold."-Khal Drogo to Viserys Targaryen
"A crown for a king."-Khal Drogo before killing Viserys with molten gold
"He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon."-Daenarys Targaryen on the death of Viserys
You Win or You Die
"You should have taken the realm for yourself. Jaime told me about the day King's Landing fell. He was sitting in the Iron Throne and you made him give it up. All you needed to do was climb the steps yourself. Such a sad mistake."
"I've made many mistakes in my life, but that wasn't one of them."
"Oh, but it was. When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."-Cersei Lannister and Ned Stark
"You came to us as outlaws, poachers, rapers, killers, thieves. You came alone, in chains, without friends or honour. You came to us rich, and you came to us poor. Some of you bear the names of proud Houses, others only bastard names or no names at all. It does not matter. All that is in the past. Here, on the Wall, we are all one House."-Lord Commander Jeor Mormont to the new recruits of the Night's Watch.
"Hear my words, and bear witness to my vow. Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, bear no titles, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honour to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come."-The vow of the Night's Watch.
"Moon of my life, are you hurt? (Daenarys shakes her head 'no') Jorah the Andal, I heard what you did. Choose any horse you wish, it is yours. I make this gift to you. And to my son, the stallion who will mount the world, I will also pledge a gift, I will give him the iron chair that his mother's father sat upon. I will give him Seven Kingdoms. I, Drogo, will do this. I will take my Khalasar west to where the world ends and ride wooden horses across the black salt water as no Khal has ever done! I will kill the men in iron suits and tear down their stone houses! I will rape their women, take their children as slaves and bring their broken gods back to Vaes Dothrak! This, I vow, I, Drogo, son of Bharbo. I swear before the Mother of Mountains as the stars look down in witness! As the stars look down in witness!"-Khal Drogo's vow of vengeance for the attempted murder of Daenarys
The Pointy End
"When you meet your gods, tell them Shagga, son of Dolf, of the Stone Crows sent you."
"I'm Tyrion, son of Tywin, of Clan Lannister."
"How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?"
"In my own bed at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock."
"Take the halfman. He can dance for the children. Kill the other one."
"No, no, no, no, no! My ... my house is rich and powerful. If you see us through these mountains, my father will shower you with gold."
"We have no use for a halfman's promises."
"Halfman maybe, but at least I have the courage to face my enemies. What do the Stone Crows do? Hide behind rocks and shiver when the knights of the Vale ride by? Are those the best weapons you could steal? Good enough for killing sheep, if the sheep don't fight back. Lannister smiths shit better steel."
"You think you can win us over with your trinkets?"
(Tyrion hands over one of his rings) "That trinket is worth more than everything your tribe owns. But if you help us, Shagga, son of Dolf, I will not give you trinkets. I will give you this."
"What is 'this'?"
"The Vale of Arryn. The lords of the Vale have always spat upon the hill tribes. The lords of the Vale want me dead. I believe it is time for new lords of the Vale."-Tyrion Lannister and Shagga Dolfson
"How many men do you have?"
"18,000. If I go to King's Landing and bend my knee to Joffrey-"
"You would never be allowed to leave. No. Our best hope, our only hope is that you can defeat them in the field."
"And if I lose?"
"Do you know what happened to the Targaryen children when the Mad King fell?"
"They were butchered in their sleep."
"On the orders of Tywin Lannister. And the years have not made him kinder. If you lose, your father dies, your sisters die, we die."
"Well, that makes it simple then."
"I suppose it does."-Robb and Catelyn Stark on the war
"We could end this war right now, boy, save thousands of lives. You fight for the Starks, I fight for the Lannisters. Swords or lances, teeth, nails, choose your weapons and let's end this here and now."
"If we do it your way, Kingslayer, you'd win. We're not doing it your way."-Ser Jaime Lannister and Robb Stark after the Battle of the Whispering Woods
"One victory does not make us conquerors. Did we free my father? Did we rescue my sisters from the queen? Did we free the North from those who want us on our knees? This war is far from over."-Robb Stark
Fire and Blood
"Is it true about Stannis and Renly?"
"Both Baratheon brothers have taken up against us. Jaime captured, his armies scattered, it's a catastrophe. Perhaps we should sue for peace."
(Tyrion tosses his glass on the floor, where it shatters.) "There's your peace. Joffrey saw to that when he decided to remove Ned Stark's head. You'll have an easier time drinking out of that cup than you will bringing Robb Stark to the table now. He's winning, in case you hadn't noticed."-Lannisters on the beginning of the War of the Five Kings
"Kings? Oh, I can tell you all there is to know about kings. The thing you need to understand about kings is . . . For the past 67 years, I've known, truly known, more kings than any man alive. They're complicated men, but I know how to serve them. Yes. And keep on serving them. Aerys Targaryen. Of all the thousand, thousand maladies the gods visit on us, madness is the worst. He was a good man. Such a charmer. To watch him melt away before my eyes, consumed by dreams of fire and blood . . . Robert Baratheon was an entirely different animal, powerful man, great warrior, but alas, winning a kingdom and ruling a kingdom are rather different things. They say that if a man goes through life with his battle visor down, he can often be blind to the enemies at his side. Now I serve his son, King Joffrey, may the gods bless his reign. He's a capable young man, strong military mind. Stern. But sternness in defence of the realm is no vice. It's far too soon to know what manner of king he will be, but I sense true greatness on the horizon for our new king. True greatness."-Grand Maester Pycelle on kings
The North Remembers
(Whistling 'Rains of Castamere') "Don't get up. More ravishing than ever, big sister. War agrees with you. Forgive the interruption. Carry on."
"What are you doing here?"
"It's been a remarkable journey. I've pissed off the edge of the Wall, I slept in a sky cell, I fought with the hill tribes. So many adventures, so much to be thankful for."
"What are you doing here? This is the Small Council."
"Yes, well, I do believe the Hand of the King is welcome at all Small Council meetings."
"Our father is Hand of the King."
"Yes, but in his absence-" (hands scroll to Varys)
"Your father has named Lord Tyrion to serve as Hand in his stead while he fights."
"Out! All of you out!"-Tyrion announcing his new position as Hand of the King to the Small Council
"If the king listens to what I have to say, the king might just get his Uncle Jaime back."
"You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones. The Starks love their children as well. And we have two of them."
"Arya, little animal, she disappeared."
"Disappeared? What, in a puff of smoke? We had three Starks to trade. You chopped one's head off and let another escape. Father will be furious. It must be odd for you-to be the disappointing child."-Tyrion and Cersei Lannister
"I keep expecting you to leave me in one castle or another for safe-keeping, but you drag me along from camp to camp. Have you grown fond of me, Stark? Is that is? I've never seen you with a girl."
"If I left you with one of my bannermen, your father would know within a fortnight, and my bannerman would receive a raven with a message: 'Release my son and you'll be rich beyond your dreams. Refuse, and your House will be destroyed, root and stem.'"
"You don't trust the loyalty of the men following you into battle?"
"I trust them with my life, just not with yours."
"Smart boy. What's wrong? Don't like being called 'boy'? Insulted?"
"You insult yourself, Kingslayer. You've been defeated by a boy. You're held captive by a boy. Perhaps you'll be killed by a boy."-Ser Jaime Lannister and King Robb Stark
The Night Lands
"Tell me, when your men slaughtered Ned Stark's men in the throne room, did you give the order?"
"I did. And I would again. The man was a traitor. He tried to buy my loyalty."
"The fool. He had no idea you were already bought."
"Are you drunk?! I'll not have my honour questioned by an imp!"
"I'm not questioning your honour, Lord Janos. I'm denying it's existence."
"If you think I'll stand here and take this from you, dwarf . . ."
"Dwarf? You should have stopped at imp. And yes, you will stand here and take it from me, unless you'd like to take it from my friend here. (Bronn walks into the room) I intend to serve as Hand of the King until my father returns from the war. And seeing as you betrayed the last Hand of the King, well, I just wouldn't feel safe with you lurking about."-Tyrion Lannister and Lord Janos Slynt
What is Dead May Never Die
"Power is a curious thing, my lord. Are you fond of riddles?"
"Why, am I about to hear one?"
"Three great men sit in a room: a king, a priest and a rich man. Between them stands a common sellsword. Each great man bids the sellsword kill the other two. Who lives, who dies?"
"Depends on the sellsword."
"Does it? He has neither crown nor gold nor favour with the gods."
"He has a sword, the power of life and death."
"But if it's swordsmen who rule, why do we pretend kings hold all the power? When Ned Stark lost his head, who was truly responsible? Joffrey? The executioner? Or something else?"
"I've decided I don't like riddles."
"Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick, a shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow."-Varys and Tyrion on power
Garden of Bones
"You can't talk to me like that. The king can do as he likes!"
"The Mad King did as he liked. Has your Uncle Jaime ever told you what happened to him?"
"No one threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard!"
"I'm not threatening the king, ser. I am educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. That was a threat. See the difference?"-Joffrey, Tyrion and Ser Meryn
"What do you know of (Qarth)?"
"Only that the desert around their walls is called the Garden of Bones. Every time the Qartheen shut their gates on a traveller, the garden grows."-Daenarys Targaryen and Ser Jorah Mormont
The Ghost of Harrenhal
Loyal service means telling hard truths.-Ser Davos Seaworth
"Corruption. Yes, we are swollen, bloated, foul. Brother fornicates with sister in the bed of kings and we're surprised when the fruit of their incest is rotten? Yes, a rotten king."
"It's hard to argue with his assessment."
"Not after what he did to your birthday present."
"The king is a lost cause. It's the rest of us I'm worried about now."
"A dancing king, prancing down his bloodstained halls to the tune of a twisted demon monkey."
"You have to admire his imagination."
"He's talking about you.
"What? Demon monkey?"-Heckler, Tyrion and Bronn
The Old Gods and the New
"Traitors! I'll have all their heads."
"Oh, you blind, bloody fool."
"You can't insult me."
"We've had vicious kings, and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king."
"You can't . . ."
"I can, I am."
"They attacked me!"
"They threw a cow pie at you so you decided to kill them all? They're starving you fool! All because of a war you started."
"You're talking to a king!"
(Tyrion slaps Joffrey.) "And now I've struck a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?" Joffrey and Tyrion
A Man Without Honour
"This will be my last war, win or lose."
"Have you ever lost before?"
"Do you think I'd be in my position if I had lost a war? But this is the one I'll be remembered for. The War of the Five Kings, they're calling it. My legacy will be determined in the coming months. Do you know what legacy means? It's what you pass down to your children and your children's children. It's what remains of you when you're gone. Harren the Black thought this castle would be his legacy. The greatest fortress ever built. The tallest towers, the strongest walls. The Great Hall had 35 hearths. Thirty-five. Can you imagine? Look at it now. A blasted ruin. Do you know what happened?"
"Yes. Dragons happened. Harrenhal was built to withstand an attack from the land. A million men could have marched on these walls, and a million men would have been repelled. But an attack from the air with dragonfire? Hmm. Harren and all his sons roasted alive within these walls. Aegon Targaryen changed the rules. That's why every child alive still knows his name, 300 years after his death."
"Aegon and his sisters."
"It wasn't just Aegon riding his dragon. It was Rhaenys and Visenya too."
"Correct. A student of history, are you?"
"Rhaenys rode Meraxes. Visenya rode Vhagar."
"I'm sure I knew that when I was a boy."
"Visenya Targaryen was a great warrior. She had a Valyrian steel sword she called Dark Sister."
"Hmm. She's a heroine of yours, I take it? Aren't most girls more interested in the pretty maidens from the songs? Jonquil with the flowers in her hair?"
"Most girls are idiots."-Tywin Lannister and Arya Stark on legacies
"I will open Qarth to the world as I have forced it to open itself to me."
"Your ambition is an inspiration. But like all upstarts, you overreach. Three dragons the size of cats and an alliance with a charlatan do not make you a king."
"An upstart and a charlatan? Empires have been built by less. Those on the margins often come to control the centre, and those in the centre make room for them, willingly or otherwise."-Xaro Xhoan Daxos and the Spice King
It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on it's head.-Tyrion Lannister on Joffrey
The Prince of Winterfell
"I must complement you on the gold cloak's performance these last few weeks. Did you know there has been a marked drop in thievery?"
"I did not know. And how did you accomplish this marked drop in thievery?"
"Me and the lads rounded up all the known thieves."
"Ah, no. It's just the unknown thieves we need to worry about now."
"We talked about this."
"Aye, we talked about it. Have you ever been in a city under siege? Maybe this part's not in your books. See, it's not the fighting that kills most people, it's the starving. Food's worth more than gold. Noble ladies sell their diamonds for a sack of potatoes. Things get bad enough, the poor start eating each other. The thieves, they love a siege. Soon as the gates are sealed, they steal all the food. By the time it's all over, they're the richest men in town."
"Given the circumstances, my lord, I believe extreme measures are warranted. Ah, The Great Sieges of Westeros. Thrilling subject. Shame Archmaester Ch'Vyalthan wasn't a better writer."
"Stannis knows King's Landing. He knows which walls are strongest and which gates are weakest. The Mud Gate. A good ram will batter it down in minutes, and it's only 50 yards from the water. That's where he'll land."
"And if Stannis does attack the Mud Gate, what is our plan?"
'We could throw books at his men."
"We don't have that many books."
"We don't have that many men, either."
"What do we have?"
"Pig shit."-Varys, Tyrion and Bronn on the defence of King's Landing
I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you're safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.-Tyrion promising revenge on Cersei
"They say Stannis never smiles. I'll give him a red smile. From ear to ear."
"Imagine Stannis' terror."
"I am trying."-Joffrey, Tyrion and Varys
"I've always hated the bells. They ring for horror. A dead king, a city under siege."
"Exactly." Varys and Tyrion
"Don't get killed."
"Nor you, my friend."
"Oh, are we friends now?"
"Of course we are. Just because I pay you for your services doesn't diminish our friendship."
"Enhances it, really."
"Oh! 'Enhances.' Fancy word for a sellsword."
"Been spending time with fancy folks."-Bronn and Tyrion
"If I tell the Hound to cut you in half, he'll do it without a second thought."
"That would make me the quarterman. It just doesn't have the same ring to it. Cut me in half and I won't be able to give the signal. No signal, no plan. No plan and Stannis Baratheon sacks this city, takes the Iron Throne, and puts your pinched little head atop a gate somewhere. It might be quite amusing, except my head would be up there too. I've never much liked my head, but I don't want to see it removed just yet."-Joffrey and Tyrion
"They say I'm half a man. But what does that make the lot of you?"
"The only way out is through the gates. And they're at the gates."
"There's another way out. I'm going to show you. We'll come out behind them and fuck them in their arses. Don't fight for your king and don't fight for his kingdoms. Don't fight for honour. Don't fight for glory. Don't fight for riches, because you won't get any. This is your city Stannis means to sack. That's your gate he's ramming. If he gets in, it will be your houses he burns, your gold he steals, your women he will rape. Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!"-Tyrion's rally of the Lannister troops
First time I saw Winterfell, it looked like something that had been here for thousands of years, and would be here for thousands of years after I was dead. I saw it and I thought, 'Of course Ned Stark crushed our rebellion and killed my brothers. We never stood a chance against the man who lives here.'-Theon Greyjoy on Winterfell
You hear that? That's the mating call of the Northmen. They want to fuck us. Well, I haven't had a good fuck in weeks. I'm ready for one. They say every ironborn man is worth a dozen from the mainland. You think they're right? We die today, brothers. We die bleeding from 100 wounds, with arrows in our necks and spears in our guts, but our war cries will echo through eternity. They will sing about the battle of Winterfell until the Iron Islands have slipped beneath the waves. Every man, woman and child will know who we were and how long we stood. Aggar and Gelmarr, Wex and Urzen, Stygg and Black Lorren. Ironborn warriors will cry out our names as they leap onto the shores of Seagard and Faircastle. Mothers will name their sons for us. Girls will think of us with their lovers inside them. And whoever kills that fucking horn-blower will stand in bronze above the shores of Pyke! What is dead may never die!-Theon's rallying speech
"Why do you want to join us, Jon Snow?"
"I want to be free."
"No, I don't think so. I think what you want most of all is to be a hero. I'll ask you one last time, why do you want to join us?"
"We stopped at Craster's Keep on the way north. I saw-"
"You saw what?"
"I saw Craster take his own baby boy and leave it in the woods. I saw what took it."
"You're telling me you saw one of them? And why would that make you desert your brothers?"
"Because when I told the Lord Commander, he already knew. Thousands of years ago, the First Men battled the White Walkers and defeated them. I want to fight for the side that fights for the living. Did I come to the right place?"
"We'll need to find you a new cloak."-Mance Rayder and Jon Snow
Dark Wings, Dark Words
Here's the thing, fat boy. (Shoots arrow high into the air.) When I'm done talking, that arrow's falling down on your fat head. So I advise you move, because I'm done talking. (Hot Pie moves just in time to avoid the arrow.)-Anguy to Hot Pie
"Half the country's starving, and look at this one."
"Maybe he's the reason half the country's starving." Anguy and Thoros of Myr on Hot Pie
Walk of Punishment
It often comforts me to think that even in war's darkest days, in most places in the world, absolutely nothing's happening.-Ser Brynden 'Blackfish' Tully
Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honourably, and Rhaegar died.-Ser Jorah Mormont
"And what about you? You know that I'm taking you to war. You may go hungry. You may fall sick. You may be killed."
"Yes, all men must die. But we are not men."-Daenarys and Missandei
"Ah, the return of the conquering hero. Does he have a little jaunt in his step?"
"The lad's practically skipping."
"You were gone a long time. I trust you got your money's worth. Or should I say my money's worth? (Pod sets down a purse.) Oh, it was a gift, Podrick. This is more than I give you in a year."
"He's a squire, you don't pay him."
"Oh, then it's much more than I give you in a year."
"They wouldn't take it, my lord."
"Maybe they're trying to curry some favour with the new Master of Coin."
"Have you ever known a whore to turn down gold? They were happy enough to take it when I gave it to them."
"What did you tell them?"
"I didn't tell them anything."
"What did you do to them?"
"Lots of things."
"And they seemed to like these things?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Of course they did. They're paid to seem to like it."
"Only they weren't paid."
"What are you saying? These ladies enjoyed him so much, they gave him the time for free?"
"Is that what you're telling us? (Pod nods.) Sit down, Podrick. We're going to need details. Copious details."-Tyrion, Bronn and Podrick on Podrick's loss of virginity
"You think you're the smartest man there is. That everyone alive has to bow and scrape and lick your boots."
"And if you get in any trouble, all you have to do is say 'My father', and that's it, all your troubles are gone."
"Have you got something to say? Careful. You don't want to say the wrong thing. You're nothing without your daddy, and your daddy ain't here. Never forget that. Here, this should help you remember." (Cuts off Jaime's hand.)-Vargo Hoat and Jaime Lannister
And Now His Watch is Ended
"Before all this nastiness, I was going to tell you the story of how I was cut. Do you want to hear it still?"
"I don't know. Do I?"
"As a boy, I travelled with a troupe of actors through the Free Cities. One day in Myr, a certain man made my master an offer too tempting to refuse. I feared the man meant to use me as I'd heard some men used small boys. But what he wanted was far worse. He gave me a potion that made me powerless to move or speak, yet did nothing to dull my senses. With a hooked blade he sliced me, root and stem, chanting all the while. He burned my parts in a brazier. The flames turned blue, and I heard a voice answer his call. I still dream of that night. Not of the sorcerer, not of his blade. I dream of the voice from the flames. Was it a god? A demon? A conjuror's trick? I don't know. But the sorcerer called, and a voice answered. And ever since that day, I have hated magic, and all those who practice it. But you can see why I was eager to aid you in your fight against Stannis and his red priestess. A symbolic revenge of sorts."
"Yes. I feel the need for actual revenge against the actual person who tried to have me killed, which will require a degree of influence, which..."
"You do not possess at the moment. But influence is largely a matter of patience, I have found. Once I had served the sorcerer's purpose, he threw me out of his house to die. I resolved to live to spite him. I begged. I sold what parts of my body remained to me. I became an excellent thief, and soon learned that the contents of a man's letters are more valuable than the contents of his purse. Step by step, one distasteful task after another, I made my way from the slums of Myr to the Small Council chamber. Influence grows like a weed. I tended mine patiently until it's tendrils reached from the Red Keep all the way to the far side of the world, where I managed to wrap them around something very special." (Lifts the lid of the box in his room to reveal a man inside.)
"Hello, my old friend. It's been a long time. I have no doubt the revenge you want will be yours in time, if you have the stomach for it." (Replaces the lid.)-Varys and Tyrion
"Growing Strong". Ha! The dullest words of any house! "Winter is Coming"! Now, that's memorable. "We Do Not Sow"! Strong! Strong, those houses, you watch out for them! Direwolves and Krakens, fierce beasts. But a golden rose, growing strong? Oh, yes, that strikes fear in the heart!-Olenna Tyrell
Actually, I rather enjoy him. But he would see this country burn if he could be king of the ashes."-Varys on Littlefinger
"Missandei, tell the bitch her beast won't come."
"A dragon is not a slave."
"You speak Valyrian?"
"I am Daenarys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, of the blood of Old Valyria. Valyrian is my mother tongue. Unsullied! Slay the masters, slay the soldiers, slay every man who holds a whip, but harm no child! Strike the chains off every slave you see!"
"I am your master! Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!"
"Dracarys."-Kraznys and Daenarys as Daenarys takes her army
Kissed by Fire
"Mercy, sire! I didn't kill anyone, I was just the watcher!"
"This one was just the watcher. Hang him last so he can watch the others die."-Karstark soldier and Robb Stark
"The Mad King was obsessed with it (wildfire). He loved to watch people burn, the way their skin blackened and blistered and melted off their bones. He burned lords he didn't like. He burned Hands who disobeyed him. He burned anyone who was against him. Before long, half the country was against him. Aerys saw traitors everywhere. So he had his pyromancer place caches of wildfire all over the city. Beneath the Sept of Baelor and the slums of Flea Bottom. Under houses, stables, taverns. Even beneath the Red Keep itself. Finally, the day of reckoning came. Robert Baratheon marched on the capital after his victory at the Trident. But my father arrived first with the whole Lannister army at his back, promising to defend the city against the rebels. I knew my father better than that. He's never been one to pick the losing side. I told the Mad King as much. I urged him to surrender peacefully. But the king didn't listen to me. He didn't listen to Varys who tried to warn him. But he did listen to Grand Maester Pycelle, that grey, sunken cunt. "You can trust the Lannisters," he said. "The Lannisters have always been true friends of the crown." So we opened the gates and my father sacked the city. Once again, I came to the king, begging him to surrender. He told me to bring him my father's head. Then he turned to his pyromancer. "Burn them all," he said. "Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds." Tell me, if your precious Renly commanded you to kill your own father and stand by while thousands of men, women, and children burned alive, would you have done it? Would you have kept your oath then? First, I killed the pyromancer. And then when the king turned to flee, I drove my sword into his back. "Burn them all," he kept saying. "Burn them all." I don't think he expected to die. He- he meant to... burn with the rest of us and rise again, reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash. I slit his throat to make sure that didn't happen. That's where Ned Stark found me.-Jaime Lannister on the Wildfire Plot
I've always been a terrible priest. Drank too much rum. Fucked all the whores in King's Landing. It's a terrible thing to say, but by the time I came to Westeros, I didn't believe in our Lord. I decided that He, that all the Gods, were stories we told the children to make them behave. So I wore the robes, and every now and then I'd recite the prayers, but it was just for show. A spectacle for the locals. Until the Mountain drove a lance through (Beric's) heart. I knelt beside his cold body and said the old words. Not because I believed in them, but . . . He was my friend, and he was dead. And they were the only words I knew. And for the first time in my life, the Lord replied. Beric's eyes opened, and I knew the truth. Our God is the one true God. And all men must serve Him.-Thoros of Myr
If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.-Ramsay Snow
I've won every battle, but I'm losing this war.-Robb Stark
It's a rare enough thing, a man who lives up to his reputation.-Olenna Tyrell on Tywin Lannister
"It's hard to say which of the four of us is getting the worst of the arrangement. Probably Sansa. Though Loras will certainly come to know a deep and singular misery."
"Father doesn't discriminate. We're all being shipped off to hell together."-Tyrion and Cersei on their upcoming marriages
Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but they refuse. They cling to the realm or the Gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.-Petyr Baelish's philosophy of life
The Bear and the Maiden Fair
You waste time trying to get people to love you, you'll end up the most popular dead man in town.-Bronn
"You swore me safe conduct!"
"I did, but my dragons made no such promise. And you threatened their mother."-Razdal mo Eraz and Daenarys
"Ser Barristan, how many men fight for the Second Sons?"
"Under 2,000, Your Grace."
"We have more, don't we?"
"I'm only a young girl, new to the ways of war, but perhaps a seasoned captain like yourself can explain to me how you propose to defeat us."-Daenarys and Ser Barristan
"You have no ships. You have no siege weapons. You have no cavalry."
"A fortnight ago, I had no army. A year ago, I had no dragons."-Daario Nohaeris and Daenarys on her chances of retaking Westeros
"There will be no bedding ceremony."
"There will be if I command it."
(Tyrion stabs a knife into the table.) "Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock."-Tyrion and Joffrey at Tyrion's wedding to Sansa
"I won't share your bed. Not until you want me to."
"And what if I never want you to?"
"And so my watch begins."-Tyrion and Sansa on their wedding night
The Rains of Castamere
Someday I'm going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.-Arya to the Hound
"He complained about this marriage the entire ride from Riverrun, and now look at him."
"The gods love to reward a fool."
"What? He's my nephew. I love him. And he's a damned fool."-Catelyn and Ser Brynden on Edmure
"Every bride suffers the same. I'm sure you endured yours with grace."
"Oh, Ned forbade it. He said it wouldn't be right if he broke a man's jaw on our wedding night."-Catelyn and Roose Bolton on the bedding ceremony
The disgraced daughter and the Demon Monkey. We're perfect for each other.-Tyrion to Sansa
"(Sansa) is no longer yours to torment."
"Everyone is mine to torment. You'd do well to remember that you little monster."
"Oh, I'm a monster. Perhaps you should speak to me a little more softly, then. Monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like flies."-Tyrion and Joffrey
Any man who must say "I am the king," is no true king.-Tywin
"You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper."
"You're a fool if you believe he's the most powerful man in Westeros."-Tyrion and Tywin
Valar Moghulis.-Arya after killing her first man
Mhysa!-Yunkai chant after Dany frees them