Author has written 4 stories for Artemis Fowl.
I'm a proud Yorkshire/Wenglish girl who just loves to dance in the rain.
I'm an Atheist, bibliophile and life-long feminist. I'm really really short. But I kinda like it. Along with Terry's Chocolate Oranges and reading far too much ASOIAF. Jaime/Brienne are my new minor head obsession... Write, George, write like the wind.
I've been writing fics on and off since I was around twelve starting off with Mr Potter and then moving onto Master Fowl.
I'm an 'in closet' fic writer; not really open with it though my very close friends now know that I write. I should concentrate on my original writing. Which I do, just not as much I should...
I study English & history, just finishing my third year. So yeah, my fics can get a little... mature, at times, but I leave out writing about overly sexual things. Not my cup of tea to post on a public site particularly... but chopping limbs off and killing folks is completely fine :) (in fiction)
Please check out my writing, be warned that RA is a bit hard core on the violence at times but... a heck of a lot of people seem to be enjoying it so far!
Short Circuits is for the younger/more sensible readers (who wish to avoid mind scarring).
“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one."
"[Erotic vs. Kinky] It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken." Terry Pratchett
"You have enemies? Good. It means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." Winston Churchill
"Some people go to priests; some to poetry; I go to my friends." Virginia Woolf
"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman." Virginia Woolf (again)
PS. This is dedicated to the anonymous person who told me that I can't spell 'apologise' correctly - that it should be spelt 'apologize' and that... I can't quite remember what else but it involved calling me a 'loser' I think...
Ah, my anonymous reviewer, you are young.
You have probably never been told about the sin that is American spelling.
The SIN of ALL sins if you're taught English in England or anywhere within the British Isles-
The strange but true fact that sometime in the short evolution of the American people they decided to stop spelling things properly and pass the talent onto their children.
Z's instead of S's
O's instead of U's
THEIR MOTHERS WERE TAKEN AND REPLACED BY MOMS.
So here's my answer to your criticism.
Apologise = Actual English
Apologize = Bastardised usurper
Here, let's try another quick example.
Grey = Actual English
Gray = Bastardised usurper
Another aspect to THE AMERICANISM is how spelling can then mess up pronunciation.
First example is A-loo-min-um
What the fuck is "A-loo-min-um"?
How do Americans keep a straight face whilst pronouncing that? How?
It's spelt ALUMINIUM!
Therefore is pronounced Al-ah-min-yum
Al-ah-min-yum sounds like an element worthy of true distinction.
Al-loo-min-um sounds like a toilet that lights up.
And another thing that really gets on my tits -
Colour has a 'u' in it.
Because we nicked it from the French, and it's about the only French thing we English like about France except yoghurt and that it keeps the Germans at a greater distance.
(Just joking Lara I love you!! :D)
SHAKESPEARE DIDN'T 'APOLOGIZE' HE 'APOLOGISED'
HARRY POTTER'S 'MOM' DIDN'T DIE HIS 'MUM' DID
'A-LOO-MIN-UM' - enough said.
So yes, my dear friend who corrected me, I hope you are now enlightened. That you have learnt that your status (pronounced stah-tus, not stay-tus) as an American does not mean you have to spell or pronounce English wrongly.
It is an affliction you CAN CURE with study.
Disclaimer - Yeah, this is a joke. Spell stuff how you're taught, it doesn't matter. Language evolves, of course it does. Just don't tell me to stick a 'z' in apologise and call me stupid. Have some sort of cultural awareness and most importantly STOP SAYING A-LOO-MIN-UM!!
PPS. Stupid people - don't PM me. Really tempted to put up a 'list of shame' on here...
PPPS. Don't ask me the definitions of stuff in anonymous reviews! 1. if you've got internet access then go and google it! 2. I CAN'T REPLY TO YOU!!!
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