not bitter just twisted
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Joined 08-04-09, id: 2035764, Profile Updated: 04-18-12
Author has written 10 stories for Noble Warriors Trilogy, Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, Dark is Rising Sequence, Moonlight, D.Gray-Man, Fable, Sherlock, and Merlin.

Hi

I'm really not good at these, so I'll keep it short

I live in wales ( no comments please!) I'm 16, and comparatively unstable.

The Mayan Project- http://helmommet.livejournal.com/1876.html

Email me if you want and expect a reply! You may not get one, but expect away!

I write stories about things. Every two years I might update one. I am so unbelievably lazy I might just expire right now.

You know you live in 2012 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in hysterical shock and the boy watches evilly and says..
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're ugly.
The reason why I don't like you is because I hate you.
The reason I don't want you is because I don't need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I don't really like you.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I don't see the point.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I feel like slapping you.(boy slaps her).
The reason I chose my life is because I like it better.
The girl runs away crying and I remove my boy disguise and say: 'That was fun.'
If you find this sort of thing cheesy and sickening, copy and paste it into your profile

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and smirk as everyone wonders just how the heck you managed it

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isnt for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

I'm smiling. That really should scare you.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, I just see things the way they are

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more free service we offer.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I will not follow. If you want to walk besides me, go far it, but don't expect a big reaction...

For people who like peace and quiet: Get a PHONELESS CORD!

I don't get even, I get odder.

I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Love me, Hate me, make a voodoo doll of me and stick it full of pins, I will continue to be indifferent to you.

To be alone is to be different; to be different is to be alone.

The beatings will cease once moral improves.

Excuse me while I find a container for my joy.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Commentarius by B.C Daily reviews
Lily has always considered herself ordinary. But as she enters her 7th year, things start changing and Lily starts going a bit mad. Suddenly, she's Head Girl, her mates are acting strangely, and there's a new James Potter she can't seem to get rid of. PRE-HBP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 739,666 - Reviews: 2628 - Favs: 3,257 - Follows: 2,902 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 1/3/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Yellow Brick Road by labyrinths reviews
Journey's end in lover's a meeting. Elizabeth Shaw and David head to find the Engineer's world.
Prometheus, 2012 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,376 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 7/3/2012 - Published: 6/16/2012 - David, E. Shaw - Complete
David by wndrw8 reviews
Is he real? Or just pretending? warning for creepiness David/Elizabeth Shaw
Prometheus, 2012 - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,412 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 6/21/2012 - Published: 6/17/2012 - E. Shaw, David - Complete
Equilibrium by Tara1189 reviews
You only hate someone like that when you loved them once. Merlin/Morgana
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,669 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/29/2012 - Morgana, Merlin - Complete
Another Day by Tricia-chan reviews
It was just a pair of earrings. Beautiful, but not entirely flashy. But this simple piece of jewelry would cause a whirlwind of trouble.
Teahouse - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 76,738 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 10/16/2011 - Axis, Rhys - Complete
The Challenge by Becca2793 reviews
A routine innocence mission to Italy turns into something more when Allen begins noticing the little things.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,139 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/28/2011 - Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu - Complete
Silence by JPLE reviews
For Astoria, giving everyone the silent treatment only ends in too many conversations with Millicent Bulstrode, and learning far too much about Draco Malfoy. Winner of the Your Favourite Character Competition on HPFC.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,072 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Astoria G. - Complete
Bird Kid from the Big Apple by ablondeinaunionjack reviews
Ever wondered what happened to the bird girl the Flock rescued in TAE? You're about to find out...This is an entry for alicecullen42'a competition. Anything you recognise belongs to J Patterson. On hiatus for the moment.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,670 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/15/2011 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Max
How Potter Turned Malfoy Gay by Galadriell reviews
The whole truth and nothing but the truth. And a bit of weirdness. Harry/Draco SLASH! Obviously...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,125 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 697 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 3/15/2011 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Pryde and Prejudice by midnightfarie reviews
It is a truth universally acknowledged...
Crossover - X-Men: Evolution & Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,634 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/22/2011 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Shadowcat/Katherine P./Kitty P.
Sloppy Seconds by JACmRob reviews
Artemis is always ready to indulge in his favorite addiction, but as close as she comes, she's second best. Artemis/Minerva, onesided Artemis/Holly. kind of dark
Artemis Fowl - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,013 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Published: 12/23/2010 - Artemis F., Minerva P. - Complete
A Bird's Night Flight by VampireFairy13 reviews
Max gets marked a goes to the House of Night after the world has been saved from Itex but what other forces may be putting it at risk again? Along the way, Max learns a few things about herself and those she knows. After Untamed and Max. Fax later. Read!
Crossover - Maximum Ride & House of Night - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,604 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 12/20/2010 - Published: 12/16/2009 - Max, Nyx
put your hands into the fire by mirai3k reviews
The thing with Merlin is that when it comes to the things that count, that really count, he doesn't miss a beat. Merlin/Arthur
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,513 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/1/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Payback is a Duck! by kbbandgirl reviews
Komui is tired of Kanda's potty mouth and death threats corrupting his precious Lenalee. Enter nonsensical censoring chips! Yullen.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,037 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Kanda Yuu, Allen Walker - Complete
they'll name a city after us by mirai3k reviews
Even kings are not above fear and regret but Arthur Pendragon is resurfacing. Merlin/Arthur
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,989 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Schoolgirl Crushes by ncfan reviews
Is she too timid to say anything or is she just a masochist? Rukia observes Orihime and others.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,035 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Rukia K., Orihime I. - Complete
Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Ever wonder what it's like to be inside Fang's head? Follow Fang's diary as he attempts to tell Max he loves her in just one year, while also trying to save his neck. It's hard to be a guy...Fax. Complete.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 239,551 - Reviews: 8150 - Favs: 1,792 - Follows: 680 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Please Don't Leave Me by BroodyCheery323 reviews
Arthur is constantly insulting Merlin and sending him away while in reality the last thing he wants is for Merlin to leave. SongFic set to Pink's 'Please Don't Leave Me' AxM Slash;Set late S1
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,246 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/10/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
My Lapse In Judgment by truly unruly reviews
At thirty-two years old, Elliot Reid decides that it's time to grow up. But maybe having a baby with her boss is not the best way to start...AU, ElliotCox. Complete.
Scrubs - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 46,693 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Elliot R., Dr. Cox/Perry - Complete
Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 reviews
So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 162,700 - Reviews: 9500 - Favs: 10,617 - Follows: 4,556 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Past Lives of Bleach Characters by kbbandgirl reviews
If you've ever wondered what your favorite characters did in their past lives, this is for you. Rated T for references.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 472 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Complete
A Series Of Random and Ridiculous Occurrences by Velvet Liquor reviews
Eyebrow wigglin', Austin Powers announces that certain characters have the mojo, and drunk people understand Sunny's baby language.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,103 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/18/2009 - Published: 6/3/2008
The Monstrosity by Totemaster reviews
The TARDIS malfunctions and the Doctor and Donna Noble end up in New York in a parallel universe. Soon things go horribly wrong as a gargantuan creature attacks the city. Doctor Who/Cloverfield crossover.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Cloverfield - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,634 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/1/2008 - Published: 9/24/2008 - 10th Doctor - Complete
One Thing by oberyn reviews
If there's one thing Joey hates, it's Seto Kaiba. PG-13, Gen, but Seto/Joey slash so mild it might as well not be there.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,737 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Seto K., K. Jounouchi
Remember Me to Hogwarts by Sing-my-heart-out reviews
It's the last year at Hogwarts for the Marauders. James is Hell bent on getting the girl, Sirius' only goal is to make life a living Hell for Snivellus, Remus is trying to save them all from being expelled, and Peter is really just along for the ride.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 41,815 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 8/20/2007 - Published: 8/11/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P.
You Belong To Me by violent darlings reviews
Holly belongs to Artemis. Artemis belongs to Holly. But neither of them will admit it. Very dark. AH, AM. LC compliant. Artemis is off his nut. Holly is his slave. You've been warned.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,547 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Five Things Korben Knows by Memphis Lupine reviews
Of all the things Korben knows, love is perhaps the last.
Fifth Element - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/26/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Creature of Magic reviews
Arthur discovers that merlin lied to him in order to save him. One-shot, drabblesque. Vague Arthur/Merlin if you read the subtext.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/5/2012 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Control reviews
Moriarty, from childhood to death; a character study. Spoilers for season one and the end of season two. What makes a man into a monster? One-shot.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,220 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/26/2012 - J. Moriarty, Sherlock H. - Complete
The Truth reviews
We finally understand how it is possible. Fable 3 characters, drabble. You probably won't understand unless you did certain quests.
Fable - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/18/2012 - Ben Finn
Welcome to the Family, or the Allen Angst Tango reviews
Song-fic to 'Welcome to the Family' by Avenged Sevenfold. Basically Allen angsting in his cell. Allen can be very angsty. Why don't you read it? One-Shot.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,874 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Allen Walker - Complete
Harry Potter and the Petting Zoo of Doom reviews
Harry potter and all his little friends go on their biggest adventure yet, including spiders, goats, killer banana's and what lurks in Harry's cupboard. May contain Swearwords and spiders
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,572 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/23/2011 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Embers reviews
Mick looks back at his life, and the one person who has influenced it the most.
Moonlight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,582 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/21/2011 - Mick S. J., Coraline D./Morgan V.
The Last One reviews
The adventure is over, the dark had fallen, and all have forgotten-except Jane. How will she cope as she begins to learn the truth about what happened, and who she really is?
Dark is Rising Sequence - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,301 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/12/2010
No Point reviews
It's three years on from the end of the last book. Fang had returned, and everyone has moved on- except Iggy. Iggy has been left behind as the others progress, and this is how he copes. One-shot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,242 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/29/2010 - Iggy - Complete
One who waits reviews
Just a new story i felt like writing- Heather Moore escapes from a life of imprisonment and abuse to find refuge with a bunch of feathered mutants. One problem: she doesn't like them much. Probably some Fax somewhere, but maybe some surprises.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,150 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/25/2010 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Iggy, Max
Betrayer reviews
Just a short story from the point of view of someone who has been cleansed based on The Seeker books. :/
Noble Warriors Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Complete
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