DriftWood1965
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Joined 08-04-09, id: 2036266, Profile Updated: 10-29-17
Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter.

*I reject JK Rowlings Fiction and substitute my own*
(at least in regard to Books 6 and 7)

I believe in feel good stories. There is enough angst in the world without adding more for entertainment sake. My stories might not all have happy endings, but I hope never to write one that makes someone feel worse after the story than before. I believe in honor and friendship. I believe in a word given is a promise that must be kept.

And I believe in Love - It is the most powerful magic. If more people believed in it, I think the world would have a lot more happy endings.

BTW - if anyone didn't get the clue from my writing the Champion's story, I really do not like Ron Weasley. And since Hermione is my favorite Harry Potter character, any story that puts the two together isn't something I will enjoy. Hermione does most of the work for the trio and gets stuck with RON as the prize? Talk about a booby prize.

In the first book, when Ron looks into the Mirror of Erised, he sees himself with all of these awards. So his deepest desire is to be better than his brothers but he NEVER does anything to make himself better. He gets jealous when anyone else wants to put the work in to better themselves though. He is the walking epitome of most of the Seven Deadly sins.

STATUS OF MY STORIES

Updated 10-29-2017

I did finally get an update completed on Future's Past and working on another but it's slow going. I also have about 2000 words on Price of Being Noble.

Reviews!!

Unfortunately I had to turn off anon reviews. I guess it's a part of my personality that I want to respond to negative feedback. Unfortunately when it comes in anonymous I spend half the night formulating the response I WOULD have made if I could have. So for my sanity I have turned anon reviews off.

OK I've turned Anon back on, we'll see how it goes. I figure I've lost my sanity anyway.

Critical reviews for every chapter in a long story drive me nuts as well. Look, it's pretty simple, if you don't like the story don't keep reading it. Just click the back button and find a different story.

BTW does anyone else hate it when a GUEST reviewer asks a question? I mean really?

Various thoughts.

(P)atronus otter = Potter. Shows Hermione does get her happiness from Harry :D. I found out after I noticed this, that other authors had thought of it first so I definitely do not take credit for it.

Why does everyone think Harry is short due to malnourishment and has him up to six plus feet? In Book 5, When Harry is looking at Snape's Worst memory, the following appears.

"and Harry could tell that, when James stood up, they would be within an inch of each other in height."

ONE INCH of his father at his age, which would be understood since supposedly Lily is shorter than James.

What is wrong with being less than 6 foot? Can you not be a hero when you are less than 6 foot? Tell that to Audie Murphy who was the most decorated American Soldier in WWII. He was 5' 5" tall. General Montgomery was 5' 6", Winston Churchill was 5' 6", Genghis Kahn only 5' 1"

Other people of note, Henry Winkler (The Fonz), 5' 6", Daniel Radcliffe 5' 5", JRR Tolkien 5' 5",...and on and on...The AVERAGE British Male is 5' 9" and the AVERAGE American male is 5' 10".

Those who believe or has to write that Harry has grown to 6 foot or more...just Stop it.

Stereotypes that I wish would disappear from fanfictions (and the world)

Women/Men and shopping

Believe it or not, but not all men hate shopping and not all women love it. I actually do all the shopping in my family because my wife hates it. She can't stand malls or clothes shopping. So please stop the stereotype of it being like that.

Cooking

Ditto as shopping.

Stupid Stuff found on profiles

I'm sure all of you who read profiles have come across the supposed love story where the guy and the girl on the motorcycle and he gives her his helmet...blah blah blah before he dies because the brakes had failed...sorry but I really hate stupidity so this is my tribute to that story.

TRUE LOVE:

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, slow down.

Guy:Now give me a big hug

She gave him a big hug

Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.

Suddenly she gets suspicious as she noticing him squeezing the brakes and nothing is happening. Realizing the brakes are out and the guy was making some stupid idiotic gesture or was suicidal, she brings a bit of intelligence to the situation and yells...CUT THE ENGINE OFF YOU JERK! THE KEY IS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU!! THE CLUTCH ALSO WORKS TO DISENGAGE THE ENGINE!! YOU CAN EVEN DOWNSHIFT!! MAYBE EVEN TRY RELEASING THE THROTTLE!!! Without waiting for him, she reaches around and moves the key to the off position and the engine sputters off.

When the motorcycle coasts to a stop a short time later she gets off and storms away refusing to ever speak to anyone that stupid again.

If you have warning on a motorcycle, which this guy obviously did, it is EASY to decelerate and there are MANY ways to cut power to the engine. Even laying the motorcycle down is preferable to RUNNING INTO A BUILDING. If you have the above thing in your profile, remove it. There are many many stories of true heroism where brains are used. Find one of those. Do not pay homage to stupidity.

:D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

He's Not Dead Yet by Redbayly reviews
When Harry offered himself up to Voldemort, he discovered the people in the Ministry of Death are not happy with him at all. To make up for his years of blunders, Harry is sent back in time to correct everything that went wrong and to get some revenge. Harry/6 girls, Bashing of Dumbledore, Snape, and certain Weasleys. Written for humor only. Lots of cliches. Reviews welcome.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 34 - Words: 156,514 - Reviews: 1875 - Favs: 6,258 - Follows: 5,329 - Updated: 10/30/2015 - Published: 12/27/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L. - Complete
In this World and the Next by robst reviews
Not for Weasley fans, dark beginning and rating is for safety. A Re-do with payback on the menu H/Hr Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 164,711 - Reviews: 4986 - Favs: 10,031 - Follows: 4,413 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 12/31/2009 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
The Thing About Contracts Is by Nom9de9Plume reviews
Harry discovers some interesting truths about contracts that leads to a plan to leave his troubles behind.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 41,393 - Reviews: 979 - Favs: 2,824 - Follows: 2,280 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
Best Mates by chem prof reviews
A humorous one-shot in which Hermione challenges Ron as to which one of them is truly Harry's Best Mate.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,656 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 3,359 - Follows: 647 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Why Won't They Leave Me Alone? by potter8668 reviews
Harry defeats Voldemort but those in power don't want him to leave. Read about the lengths they go to achieve their goal. Takes place after Order of the Phoenix.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,010 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 2,825 - Follows: 1,154 - Updated: 4/23/2010 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The White Rose by DragonKatGal reviews
*Complete* Wherein Harry asks the eternal question that has stymied males for centuries. “Hermione... How do you go about asking a girl on a date?” A 2000 word short-story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,148 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 1,074 - Follows: 203 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Larceny, Lechery, and Luna Lovegood! by Rorschach's Blot reviews
It takes two thieves, a Dark Wizard, and a Tentacle Monster named Tim.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 83 - Words: 230,739 - Reviews: 2630 - Favs: 3,591 - Follows: 1,477 - Updated: 4/4/2008 - Published: 7/31/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and Future's Past reviews
Starts out the day after the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione meet the Goddess of Love, and she offers to let them go back in time. Strictly Harry and Hermione. Minor - well maybe major Ginny, Ron and Dumbledore Bashing. Soul Bond - Time Travel
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 320,203 - Reviews: 6486 - Favs: 11,551 - Follows: 13,707 - Updated: 10/15 - Published: 1/13/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and the Price of Being Noble reviews
Harry helps Fleur in the second task of GOF and pays the price. HP/Fleur/Gabrielle/Hermione. A Veela bonding fic based on love. T Rated and it will stay that way. Thirteen year old Almost fourteen Gabrielle to start the story. Good Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 406,694 - Reviews: 4679 - Favs: 8,311 - Follows: 8,812 - Updated: 2/16/2015 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G., Fleur D., Gabrielle D.
Harry Potter and the Champion's Champion reviews
Harry allows Ron to compete for him in the tournament. How does he fare? This is a Harry/Hermione story with SERIOUSLY Idiot!Ron Bashing. If that isn't what you like, please read something else. Complete but I do expect to add an alternate ending or two.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 108,953 - Reviews: 3955 - Favs: 8,800 - Follows: 3,539 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Prophecy Smophecy reviews
Starts at the end of the Battle of Hogwarts. As Harry stands over the dead body of Voldemort he realizes something. Bad Dumbledore. One shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,845 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 2,132 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 11/18/2010 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Hermione's Christmas Carol reviews
Harry finds Hermione who just had a dream about the three Ghost of Christmas. This is a one shot version of a part of my Champion's Champion story. If you've read that story, you've read this. Epilogue Bashing. H/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 54 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Box on the Stool reviews
Harry offers to free Kreacher. I've been told this is a good sad story. Enjoy. This is the only canon/pairing story you'll ever find in my written stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 831 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 87 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Harry P., Kreacher - Complete