Author has written 23 stories for Chronicles of Narnia, Inheritance Cycle, Bleach, Once Upon a Time, Hobbit, Being Human, and Supernatural.
An interesting something...hmm...
Well, I'm a college student, studying English with a minor in Screenwriting. It's pretty obvious from my favorites below what my favorite shows/movies/etc. are. I've written for a few of them. I can be a tad obsessive when I get into a new something. When I first started watching Supernatural I watched the first five seasons on Netflix in two weeks, while school was still going on.
SPN fans: Yay! Welcome to our madness.
The rest of the world: WTF? *whispers* No social life.
But, I'd rather be obsessed with stuff like TV shows and musicians than drugs, so there we go.
Stories I'm Working On: As of 4/17/2015
Do You Recall - It was Bobby's fault, really. When she called, it was rarely for help like this. The two men—two hunters—currently occupying her porch were definitely not Bobby Singer…whatever came after was definitely not part of the plan. D/OC [Recently posted, Next installment to be released shortly]
Serendipity - Life is short. But for some, it can also be long. It's the little moments you have to live for; the happy accidents and unexpected moments that manage to make you smile. Mitchell knows this best of all. A series of oneshots: in which last-minute Christmas shopping is always an ordeal. [Working on Next Installment]
Ere Break of Day - In a company of fourteen, they left The Shire on a bright summer's morning, oblivious of a young stowaway with a curious eye and an innocent heart. Unlike her neighbor of Bag End, she yearns for an undertaking outside the enclosing walls of her home. But she may find that adventures such as these are not without certain peril, along with a demand for true courage and trust. Kili/OC [Put on Hold]
Isle of the Lost - There will always be a new game to play, just with higher stakes and battling odds. This time, Peter Pan finds himself in a world he can't control, chasing after a woman he never thought he would need, while dodging the promise of death on his heels. But he's never once broken a promise, and he isn't about to start now. Sequel to "Isle of Thorns." Peter/Wendy [Working on Next Installment]
A Mirror and its Fragments - A humble gift presented to the Kings and Queens proves malicious in its intent, and lures the monarchs into a trap from the past. Peter/OC [On Hiatus]
The Marvelous Adventures of a Mary-Sue: Chronicles of Narnia - The second story in a series of sue parodies; "The Pevensies meet their greatest foe yet: the horror to all fictional humanity known as the dreaded Mary-Sue. Follow the tale of an epic Peter/OC gone wrong. And to think, it all started with The Book." Co-written with Witchy Pixie. [On Hiatus]
The Art of Conversation - A series of mostly humorous one-shots circling the Chronicles of Narnia characters. Latest: A month after returning to England, things are not quite the same between Peter and Alexa. I WILL TAKE REQUESTS for this collection of one-shots. [Working on next installment/Put on Hold]
The Black Gates Dras-Leona—a bleak city of carnage and ruin, and the home of an even more sacrilegious people. A pity it is that such a treasure fell right into the center of it, where curious hands could reach. Murtagh/OC [Will be removed Upon Being Discontinued]
The Marvelous Adventures of a Mary-Sue: Inheritance Cycle - The beginning of a saga of sue parodies; "the Inheritance characters find an MxOC suefic and are soon faced with horrors they never thought possible." Co-written with Witchy Pixie, and is now complete. Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6896225/1/The_Marvelous_Adventures_of_a_Marysue_IC
A Recount of the Travesty: Eragon - Your favorite dirty minded and mouthed duo recap the horrible excuse for a movie that was "Eragon." Rated for sexual innuendo, cussing, and book-maiming. Co-written with Witchy Pixie. This is now complete, and listed under Witchy Pixie's profile. Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7359482/1/
Josh Kovacs: The maid's gone rogue!
Josh Kovacs: The average apartment in the Tower costs 5.6 million dollars. We have the best views, the most advanced security systems, but you know what these people are really buying? Rick Malloy: White neighbors?
Slide: A robbery can change very quickly. You have to be ready to adapt to the situation at any moment. Anything can happen. I was on a job a few days ago and my homie got shot in the face! Josh Kovacs: If you get shot in the face, it's over. Slide: If you get shot in your HEAD, it's over. If you get shot in your FACE, the bullet will go through your cheek and come out the other side! Then, what you gonna do? Cole Howard: Die! We're all gonna die!
Cole Howard: If anybody needs me, I'll be living in this box...
Cole Howard: I'm thinking of becoming a male prostitute...
Rick Malloy: We're gonna go to jail! We're gonna die! Probably both!
Slide: Today I teach you how to pick a lock with a bobby pin! Here's your bobby pin, here's your bobby pin, and here's your punk-ass bobby pin! You unlock the door, or you gonna freeze to death! I'm gonna be inside having sex wih Rita!
Odessa Montero: You mess with me, you're a dead man!
Slide: I will blow your face CLEAN OFF your face!
Odessa: You shoulda ate the cake, man!
[at a posh restaurant]
Slide: How is this supposed to be right if you made it out of Legos?
Slide: How come you bail me out? I don't even know your name.
Slide: You know this is a bad idea, right?
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Minstrel: [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away...
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
French Soldier: Un cadeau.
Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: One, two, five!
Prince Herbert: But mother...
The Witch: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
King Arthur: Old woman.
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then? [Angelic music plays...]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you?
Sir Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
King Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
[the King gestures to the window]
King of Swamp Castle: One day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
King of Swamp Castle: No, not the curtains, lad, all that you can see stretched out over the valleys and the hills! That'll be your kingdom, lad.
King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.
Sir Lancelot: Look, my liege! [trumpets play a fanfare as the camera cuts briefly to the sight of a majestic castle]
King Arthur: [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Galahad: [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Lancelot: [in awe] Camelot!
Patsy: [derisively] It's only a model!
King Arthur: Shh!
King Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
[the Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off]
Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that!
King Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I'm invincible!
King Arthur: ...You're a loony.
Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
King Arthur: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done. [the Knights of Ni scream and cover their ears]
Knight 1: Don't say that word!
King Arthur: What word?
Knight 1: I cannot tell! Suffice to say, is one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot hear!
King Arthur: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is? [the Knights of Ni scream again]
Knight 1: He said it again!
King Arthur: What,"is"?
Knight 1: No, no, not "is". Wouldn't get very far in life not saying "is".
Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI.
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.
Tim: Follow. But. Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth. King Arthur: What an eccentric performance.
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead. [a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy. [the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.
Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!
[King Arthur has just cut the Black Knight's last leg off]
Black Knight: All right, we'll call it a draw.
King Arthur: [Preparing to leave] Come, Patsy. [King Arthur and Patsy ride off]
Black Knight: [calling after King Arthur] Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!
[Concorde has just been shot in the chest with an arrow bearing a message]
Concorde: Message for you, sir.
Narrator: A year passed: winter changed into spring, spring changed into summer, summer changed back into winter, and winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn... until one day...