Anit Way-Iero
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Joined 08-06-09, id: 2038978, Profile Updated: 04-05-10
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

ummm... HIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!! Im Anita

Im Irish

Im a strange person, and have been told on more than a kerjillion (yes i know its not a real number! duh!) occasions, i am completely random!

Im a complete Twilight freak and i have to admit, a My Chemical Romance freak as well!! lolages XD

Im completely Team Edward coz, no offence to Team Switzerland/Team Jacob people but why would you choose a dog over a vampire?!

Im obsessed with reading, writing and music, both playing and listening to.

I have two AMAZING best friends (author Edward's Musical Inspiration Xx and a crazy kook called Ash) and I love them to bits!

um... thats about it...i guess...

sparkle sparkle

Favourites:
MUSIC:
My Chemical Romance(XD), Paramore, Greenday(XD), Fall Out Boy, 3OH!3, Metallica, Lostprophets, GnR, The Coral, Aerosmith(XD), Queen, Tenacious D, anything rock basically lol

TV SHOWS:
Scrubs, Most Haunted, Eureka, Veronica Mars, Ghost Whisperer, Knight Rider(new version-who doesn't love KITT?!lol), Dollhouse

MOVIES:
most horrors, comedies, Twilight, Transformers, Blair Witch Project, My neighbour Totoro, One Missed Call, The Ring, Tenacious D and the P.O.D.(XD lolages)

BOOKS:
Anything by Stephenie Meyer, Meg Cabot, J.K. Rowling, L.J. Smith, Melissa Marr, Trudi Canavan, J.R.R Tolkien, Dan Brown.

MIDNIGHT SUN PETITION

FOR ALL TWILIGHT FANS Stephenie Meyer, author of The Twilight Saga, started Twilight from Edwards view and called it Midnight Sun. However, a copy was leaked onto the internet and now ms. Meyer is unsure about finishing the book. If you are a true Twilight fan, or ''TWERD'' you will copy and paste this onto your profile with your name added to the end. Happy pasting! And Godspeed to you.

Anita (Anita Way-Cullen)

I have another story typed up, ready to be uploaded but i literally am running in circles with schoolwork and study (bleargh) so ill put it up soon!!

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, FairyNinjaPrincess, MyImmortal01, Twilightxfanatic21,music is lyfe,elliot.and.jd.4eva1, Anita Way-Cullen.

Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you like me?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you want me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you cry if I left?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you live for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you do anything for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Choose--me or your life

Edward: My life

Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

A poem about Child Abuse

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

If you are against discrimination of any sort, copy and paste this in your profile. If you believe that all life is equal, no matter what sort of creature it is, copy this into your profile. If you think that all the world's problems could be solved by talking things out, copy this into your profile. If you think the taboos of the world should be broken, paste this into your profile. If you would lay your life down for a friend, copy and paste this to your profile. If you don't believe in stereotypes, copy this into your profile. If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you've ever been called weird and taken that as a compliment, copy this into your profile. Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit, copy this into your profile. If you have ever wanted to slap someone, copy this into your profile. If your friends are weird, copy this into your profile. If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile. If you have a wide range of interests, put this on your profile.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

People of the world who HATE math UNITE! If you suck at math and think anyone who likes math is weird copy and paste this into your profile.

If you agree that rum is for drinking, not burning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)

If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate stereotypes copy and paste this onto your profile (Bold-ones you are)

Im SKINNY so I MUST be anorexic
Im EMO so I MUST cut myself
Im Black so I MUST carry a gun
Im BLONDE so I MUST be stupid
Im JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed
Im HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat
Im ASIAN so I MUST be a genius
Im JEWISH so I MUST be greedy
Im GAY so I MUST have AIDS
Im a LESBIAN so I MUST be butch
Im ARAB so I MUST be a terrorist
I SPEAK MY MIND so I MUST be a bitch
Im CHRISTIAN so I MUST think gay people should go to Hell
Im a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER so I WILL go to Hell
Im ATHIEST so i MUST hate the world
I HAVE NO RELIGION so I MUST be evil and have no morals
Im a GUY so I MUST only want to get in your pants
Im IRISH so I MUST have a drinking problem
Im a CHEERLEADER so I MUST be a whore
I wear SKIRTS alot so I MUST be a slut
Im RICH so I MUST be conceited
Im NOT a VIRGIN so I MUST be easy
Im a TEENAGE MOTHER so I MUST be irresponsible
I HAVE/HAD GOOD GRADES so I MUST have no social life
Im into MUSICALS so I MUST be homosexual
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be sleeping with them all
Im a VEGETARIAN so I MUST be a crazy political activist
Im GERMAN so I MUST be a Nazi
I hang out with GAY people so I MUST be gay too
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude
Im a girl who ACTUALLY EATS LUNCH so I MUST be fat
Im SINGLE so I MUST be ugly
Im BISEXUAL so I MUST think everyone i see is hot
Im INTELLIGENT so I MUST be a loser
Im a FEMINIST so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and hate all men
Im ENGLISH so I MUST either be posh or cockney, love tea and cricket and have bad teeth (my teeth are very clean thank you)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a hippy
I like READING so I MUST be a loner
I CRY EASILY so I MUST be a wimp
I don't like talking about my PERSONAL life so I MUST be having problems
Im a GOOD LIAR so I MUST be a good actor/actress
Im a MUSICIAN so I MUST be doing nothing with my life

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Patients Name: Quality Music

Status: Deceased

Cause of Death: Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, High School Musical

Chuck Norris Facts

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Some kids piss their name into snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris' calender goes striaght from March 31st to April 2cnd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Once, while having sex in a tractor trailer, Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris once one a game of Connect Four in three moves.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he check under his bed for Chuck Norris.

When you spell "Chuck Norris" on Google wrong, it doesn't say "Did you mean 'Chuck Norris?'" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-A-Sketch.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in "24", but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it's beef, then it's fucking beef.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris was once on Celeberty Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show were spent with everyone standing around akwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris can play the Violin with a Piano.

Death once had a Near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the Devil to gain his amazing martail arts skill. Shortly after, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Devil and took his soul back. The Devil was so impressed that they now play poker every other Tuesday.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet who can kick you in the back of the face.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar. His shirts just get erections whenever they touch his body.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three counts of attempted murder in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a Concealed Weapon license in all fifty states in order to legally wear pants.

Chuck Norris never retreats. He just attacks from the oppisite direction.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris plays Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver. And wins.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the glass shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

Chuck Norris can make a parapalegic run for his life.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a cardboard box.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't doge Chuck Norrs' roundhouse kick.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the ocean gets the fuck out of the way.

On the first day, God created the Heavens and the Earth, looked down, and said, "Holy shit! Is that Chuck Norris?!"

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. Then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

Chuck Norris doens't play "Hide-and-Go-Seek". He plays "Hide-and-Pray-I-Don't-Find-You".

If you can see Chuck Norris, then he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, then you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanutbutter.

The term heart-burn was invented when Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked a man in the chest and his heart caught fire.

Mr. T Facts

Three rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-Lords in their Hall of Stone, Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne, Twenty rings to make Mr. T look cool, Upon them he inscribed "I pity the fool".

Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T only recognizes the element of surprise.

Gravity doesn't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt because they're shaped like Ts.

Mr. T and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to this event as the Big Bang.

The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

Mr. T beat a wall at tennis.

Mr. T is so scary that his hair is actually afriad to grow. The only reason he has a mohawk is because it's his blind spot.

There are only four horsemen of the Apocolypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

In August 2005, Mr. T, Vin Diesel, and Chuck Norris went shark fishing 845 miles east of the Bermuda 1,139 miles west of the Azores Islands. After finishing off ten kegs Milwaukees Best and two barbequed tiger sharks Mr. T asked Vin Diesel to pull his finger. At the exact moment that Vin Diesel pulled Mr. T's finger, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T in the stomache "for fun". The resulting flatulence is refered to by most as "Hurricane Katrina" has cost over 1.13 billion so far and almost destroyed New Orleans. To help aliviate his conscious Chuck will provide free "Roundhouse Kick"seminars to the hurricane victims. As for Mr. T, he will simply pity the fools.

Rocky 3 was a groundbraking film. It took 135 special effects artists 13 months to make it seem like Rocky won the second fight to Mr. T.

Mr. T does not believe that there are fifty states, only two because where ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction.

Unbeknownst to the modern world, the Triforce actually exists. Unlike the Legend of Zelda, however, the pieces of the Triforce are named the Triforce of Vin Diesel, the Triforce of Chuck Norris, and the Triforce of Mr. T, all held by Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris, and Mr. T respectively. If all the peices of the Triforce came together, there will come a power the universe has never seen. The reason the Triforce hasn't been united today lies in three simple facts: Chuck Norris thinks mohawks are gay, Mr. T thinks beards are gay, and Vin Diesel thinks hair in general is gay.

Show Mr. T a ship of fools, and he will show you a torpedo full of pity.

Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.

Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, and Jay-Z after a late night drunked bender caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was.

Mr. T and the rest of the A-Team were disqualified and kicked off the show "Junk Yard Wars" for violating the saftey rules and building a fully functional M1A1 Abraham Main battle tank, when all they needed to build was a steam-powered catapult.

Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be pitied by Mr. T, than you are to have feet.

Mr. T can ea a Rubix Cube and crap it out solved.

Mr. T is the original Black Power Ranger.

When Life gives you lemons, make Coca Cola. Then sit back and let Life think he's going crazy.

Don't tell me the sky is my limit, cause I've seen footprints on the moon.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

If you REALLY REALLY want to know your blood type, copy this into your profile

If you've never had "The Talk", but instead learned everything you needed to know from television, internet, or fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the Rabbit should kill the kids who won't give him Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

The majority of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your pro

if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your pro

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love fire and/or wish you were a pyrokenetic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize your profile is WAAAY too long, but have no intention of deleting anything on it, copy and paste this into your profile.

╔══╦═╦═╗
║║║║╠╣╠╣PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGE
╚╩╩╩═╩╩╝IF YOU LIKE MCR!!

Dress my corpse up in a low-cut dress,
Drizzle lipstick on my charred french kiss,
Dip my severed jaw in cheap cologne,
Push-up bras dangling from snapped elbows.
But death's just death no matter how you dress it up.

A good or best friend!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, freak?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

A good friend will help you learn to drive. A best friend will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance money.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time like ME, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you'd be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF!!

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'


'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

LINKS!

Nessie's Tea Party

Jasper's Dress:

Emmett's Dress: (with the wig)

Carlisle's Dress: (with mouse ears)

Jake's Dress: (with bow, duck bill and fluffy ass)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bring It On by Lost in Believing reviews
Co-Written with xForeverDazzledx. Three girls are off for the summer of their lives. Camping with everyone in their class. But things get hectic when the guys of the school are there to take over. These friends are ready to take revenge. E&B J&A E&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 26,418 - Reviews: 591 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 1/1/2014 - Published: 1/21/2009
Training the Swan by ericastwilight reviews
Edward is the retired right hand man for a mob boss, Charlie Swan. When asked to train a woman to help to protect herself and her daughter, he had no idea the trouble he'd find himself in. She's the boss's daughter. Can he keep his hands off?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 205,748 - Reviews: 6296 - Favs: 4,384 - Follows: 3,645 - Updated: 1/10/2013 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Edward Vs the Toddler by Butterscotch82 reviews
Ch.1: Edward faces his toughest--or at least, his most annoying--adversary yet, in the form of a two-year-old. Post Twilight . Ch. 2: Find out how Edward and Bella handle Nessie when she takes on some of Eddie's less charming traits. Post Breaking Dawn .
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,870 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 572 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 12/26/2012 - Published: 6/28/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Unknown Caller by AlwaysMyBella reviews
Seven year old Bella is home alone and hurts her finger. Having no one to call she dials a random number. Enter 8 year old Edward. Ten years of laughs, tears and friendship later, can it ever evolve into love? & is Edward closer then Bella thinks? AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 32,973 - Reviews: 3096 - Favs: 1,899 - Follows: 1,982 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
My Baby by The Brown Eyed Writer reviews
Bella and Edward were in love when Edward was human. There was an accident and it "killed" Edward or so Bella thinks. Bella goes to Forks with her and Edward's daughter. She thinks she'll never see Edward again, but boy is she wrong. See what happens. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 41 - Words: 71,428 - Reviews: 1716 - Favs: 1,095 - Follows: 826 - Updated: 3/29/2012 - Published: 11/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Just One of the Guys by MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear reviews
Blair Hunter is far from average. Everything from her funky hair to her well-worn Chucks screams ODD! But when a favor to a friend lands her in an all-boys boarding school, things get just plain weird. A few new friends might be able to help. Que MCR!
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 82,575 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Complete
Classic Cullen Moments by Sarahgotbored reviews
(Discontinued. Only reason this hasn't been deleted is because I'm a sentimental freak and like to look back on things I wrote when I was 13. Quite frankly it's awful, Stay away!)
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 58 - Words: 52,818 - Reviews: 1316 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Complete
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13050 - Favs: 6,181 - Follows: 2,783 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer by ericastwilight reviews
Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. But she falls hard, too, at the risk of breaking her own heart when the truth is revealed. EXB-AH-OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 328,966 - Reviews: 9474 - Favs: 8,360 - Follows: 5,696 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Welcome to the Real World by twilightluver001 reviews
Sequel to "Welcome to Drama Academy". As Bella and Edward continue pursuing their careers, they find life isn't as easy as they thought it would be. How will they overcome the pressure from work and family together? Takes place 6 years after Drama Academy
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 163,948 - Reviews: 5859 - Favs: 2,644 - Follows: 2,504 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Complete
Jaspers Fun with Emotions by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Jasper changes Emmetts Emotions, and decides to see what Edward does! boys will be boys, oh wait Vampires will be Vampires! Was meant to be a one-shot, but not anymore!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,613 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Edward, Jasper
Crazy Cullen Sex Talk by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
It all starts off as a harmless sexual education video... But that starts everything off. Blood flavoured condoms? Emmett a male prostitute? Alice and Jasper having sex in Edward's car? Lots of crazy, funny stuff starts to happen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 22,143 - Reviews: 750 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Emmett, Carlisle
Tiva: A Love Story by tivamcabby5 reviews
See what happens over the course of a few years with Tony and Ziva and their growing family! MAJOR TIVA! Starts with "Finally". Updated with "Hurt". Someone's coming to visit!
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 34,733 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 4/19/2011 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Tony D., Ziva D.
How Can My Body Be Moving If I'm dead? by E.I.W reviews
An Airhead and Mediator Cross-over:Suze Simmon decide for her Summer to spend it in New York with her best friend Gina. What she didn't count on was Nikki Howard being a ghost and human. Now instead of a fun Summer she sorting out a mystery .....
Crossover - Mediator & Airhead - Rated: K - English - Suspense - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,786 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/19/2011 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Susannah S.
Abbys Birthday by WAG2002 reviews
We know that Gibbs takes Abby out the night before her birthday, but why? This is just my thoughts on how the tradition began, and what could happen, how their relathionship changes with each passing year. Hope you like it, please R&R x
NCIS - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,950 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 2/16/2011 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Abby S., Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Complete
Things a Vampire Can’t Do by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
A series of VERY FUNNY one-shots of things our favorite vampires can't do. Set in Eclipse. Brought to you by JasperSAYSrelax128 writer of "Oops, he did it again!"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,383 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Complete
The Good Left Undone by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to "Player Haters". Bella and the Cullens are starting college, and having the time of their lives......until students start to go missing. Will Bella's past have anything to do with it? ALL HUMAN!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 45,062 - Reviews: 1326 - Favs: 429 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Complete
The Black Parade by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city, to see a marching band. He said, "Son when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?" He said "Because one day I'll leave you, to join the Black Parade." fullsum
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 21,155 - Reviews: 804 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Edward, Bella
Prayer of the Refugee by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to Feel Good Drag. Bella is living life good, racing, hot boyfriend, nice friends...until she wins a yellow Camero in a drag race, and Bella’s life is plummeted into an unknown world of transformers as the race begins. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,294 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 9/20/2009
Player Haters by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Edward and Bella have been bickering since kindergarten. He's a player, and she is his sister's best friend. What happens when they discover their true feelings for each other, right before it all ends? ALL HUMAN! FUNNY!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 47,549 - Reviews: 906 - Favs: 631 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Oops, he did it again! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When the family goes hunting,Emmett and Jasper Bella-sit. They decide to play truth or dare. Contains Jasper in Wal-Mart, Bella kissing, Emmett in jail? and Blue paint...will Emmett get in trouble...AGAIN? Won the Fanpire Fanfiction Best Humor award!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 68,268 - Reviews: 3118 - Favs: 1,746 - Follows: 563 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
Misguided Ghosts by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
He was the most caring, wonderful, loving boyfriend anyone could have...until he turned into a vampire. Now my only hope of escaping....is if I die. "Would someone care to clissify? a broken heart and twisted minds, so I can find someone to rely on."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,552 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
How To Fight Like a Pirate by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Crossover Pirates of the Caribbean.Isabella Swann is the daughter of Elizabeth.Jack comes, and Elizabeth is needed for as Pirate King.What happens when he takes Bella instead?she meets a beautiful bronze-haired man of course!FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,052 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/25/2009
Feel Good Drag by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella is one of the top street racers in Arizona. But when a recent race ends up in a police chase, Renee sends her to live with Charlie in Forks. What happens happens when she discovers an underground racing site, and meets new friends? SUMMARY INSIDE AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 41,450 - Reviews: 1276 - Favs: 791 - Follows: 308 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Don't Forget by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella was changed into a vampire in New Moon when searching for the meadow. Now she has a new family and awesome powers and moves back to Forks....and runs into a certain family. Will they get along? Pranks! REALLY funny!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 32,715 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 518 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Complete
ACTION! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Funny Takes...making fun of the Twilight MOVIE! HILARIOUS! Seriously....read if you want to laugh.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,151 - Reviews: 536 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/3/2009
A Lesson in Charades by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Don’t Forget SEQUEL. Bella is finally marrying Edward, until she is kidnapped before she makes it to the Altar by 4 vampires that take an interest in her. When Alice can’t SEE them, how will they save Bella in time before she is betrothed to another? AV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,307 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/13/2009
Just Your Average Computer Nerd by hpfan99 reviews
It starts from book one in Michael's point of view when he realises that he likes Mia. It goes from snatching cookies to challenging Kenny Showalter to an online duel. Please read and review!
Princess Diaries - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,359 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 1/15/2011 - Published: 6/13/2009
Twilight Idol by ScorpioGirl1987 reviews
The Cullens, Tanya and her clan, Sam's and Jake's packs, and the Volturi have a singing contest hosted by ME! Canon pairings. Takes place 5 years after BD. Slight OOC. Chaos, hilarity, and mystery occurs.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 38 - Words: 49,042 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Complete
The RollerCoaster Of Pregnancy For The Team! by Today.Is.Life reviews
The sequel to "I Don't Like That Old Face". In this story, Ziva is pregnant. Tony is elated and their both very happy! How does the team react? WARNING: INCLUDES VERY HORMONAL ZIVA DAVID, SO PLEASE BE AWARE OF DEATH THREATS, thank you :
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 22,402 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 7/29/2010 - Tony D., Ziva D. - Complete
Castaways by rumpleswagskin reviews
On a mission to Cuba, the team are stranded on a deserted island with no communication and no way of getting home. What goings on will occur in the duration? TIVA! Slight McAbby and Jibbs! PLEASE R&R! Love ya's!
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,442 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Tony D., Ziva D. - Complete
We're Married? by elliot.and.jd.4eva1 reviews
Bella goes on a field trip and wake up married to vampire edward cullen! written for field trip of love contest.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,950 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 11/29/2010 - Published: 11/9/2009 - Edward, Bella
Of Rage And Love by Glass Vial reviews
If you stay on this path of self-destruction I don't know if I'll be able to help you. What if you go too far? What if I lose you?" Loosely based around Green Day's 'American Idiot'
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 15,671 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/20/2010 - Published: 10/13/2009
Undeniable by Wolfstang 14 reviews
Over the years they've denied their feelings for each other. But now they can't go on denying any longer. Tiva! First NCIS fanfic. Please be nice! Starts with "I love you". Finished with "I love you 2".
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 40 - Words: 58,741 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 10/21/2010 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Ziva D., Tony D. - Complete
Oh, Inverted World by DeviKalika reviews
Edward is a tortured soul with a dark past at St. Teresa's Catholic Academy in Port Angeles. What happens when he meets a girl who turns his world upside down? AU-All Human. Rated for language and graphic adult content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 1,699 - Reviews: 1131 - Favs: 1,383 - Follows: 1,619 - Updated: 10/20/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Edward, Bella
First Impressions by wordswontstop reviews
Alyssa and Grace have their first day of school... and their first day of something else. Rated K now for language. Warning: contains spanking of a minor. Don't like, don't read.
NCIS - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,067 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 10/8/2010 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Tony D. - Complete
triple threat by zackcullen reviews
What if Bella, Alice and Rosalie weren't as innocent as we thought they were? what if they where total oppistes? what if Edward, Jasper and Emmet were players? AU HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,302 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 9/28/2010 - Published: 8/3/2008
Revenge is Sweeter by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
After a very public break up in the school parking lot that involves Bella showing her underwear to the whole school, Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan declare war. Remaining friends with the ex? So not an option...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 44,935 - Reviews: 1917 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 568 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Teacher Dearest by Grace Cullen reviews
Bella Swan is a kindergarten teacher who everyone adores. But after getting horrible news she moves to Florida and starts to teach there. In Florida she meets two small emerald-eyed children, Emma and Nick, who belong to no other than Edward Cullen. AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 42,159 - Reviews: 1021 - Favs: 740 - Follows: 441 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Beautiful Hitchhiker by ericastwilight reviews
Edward is running from home, tired and lost he saves a beautiful hitchhiker from a terrible fate. They decide to travel the road together. Unknown to them there is a trail of brutal murders left in their wake. The killer is closer than they think.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 91,436 - Reviews: 2169 - Favs: 2,000 - Follows: 1,314 - Updated: 8/1/2010 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Vampires and Notes by SlytherinHippie reviews
A collection of hilarious and crazy notes passed between the Twilight gang! Features a nutty Bella, the same old hot Edward, a sane Rosalie, Jasper the nerd, THE white vampire trash Carlisle, a perverted Aro, your favorite wolf, and Bella's pet rock Bob.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 18 - Words: 11,121 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 7/30/2010 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bad boy Edward needs to be taught a lesson. So his teachers come up with a plan- ‘marry’ him to the best behaved girl in school! How will his ego survive spending ‘eternity’ with Bella Swan! Little OOC. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 70 - Words: 279,341 - Reviews: 15835 - Favs: 7,059 - Follows: 3,249 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Piano Lessons by wtvoc reviews
Continuation of the original story by Bella-of-the-Ball, with permission, of course! AH. As a special birthday gift, one of Bella's students sets her up with free piano lessons, with a hidden agenda. temporarily on hiatus; thank you for your patience!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 75,995 - Reviews: 1991 - Favs: 1,836 - Follows: 2,181 - Updated: 6/29/2010 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Family by Almis31 reviews
In a small town in Washington there is one family that you do not want to cross, one family who everyone fears. They are rich, powerful, ambitious, cunning and will stop at nothing to get what they want from life. AU-Human, OOC. Rated for violence etc...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 45,916 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 6/7/2010 - Published: 8/22/2009
You Are My Sunshine by nothingatlpersonal reviews
Bella Swan is a normal girl,living in a small coastal town.She loves to surf.One day,a new guy E.C moves to town,quickly hitting the surfing crowd.What will their first impressions be of each other?And what has Bella burried deep beneath the surface?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,544 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Emmett's 16 fun things to do in an elevator! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Emmett discovers a list so magical, he beleives it was created by unicorns! He must complete this list! 16 days, 16 fun things to do in an elevator. What could go wrong?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 31,469 - Reviews: 856 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Emmett - Complete
It's a Zombie Nation by JustXPretend reviews
The world has become infected with Zombies. Jessica thought she was the only person left but discovers that 3 members of her favorite band are survivors also. My Chemical Romance.
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,933 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/4/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Complete
Disaster Holiday Or not An LJ fic by Lin by x-cupcakie-x reviews
This story is set during the summer holiday right after sixth year . Lily and her family are all going on a cruise, but she gets the shock of her life when she comes on board. How will she ever see the end of this holiday...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 33,116 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 4/21/2010 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P.
First Day by CrzyMonkyFrk reviews
Emmett always hated the first day of school...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,252 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/13/2010 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie - Complete
Tides of Fate by SparklingTwilight reviews
After four years in a bad relationship, and two years of depressed seclusion, Alice and Rosalie drag best friend Bella on a tropical vacation designed by fate. AH OOC. B/E, R/Em, A/J. Rated M for future lemony goodness and occasional strong lang.PLS R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 365,101 - Reviews: 4588 - Favs: 5,005 - Follows: 2,046 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 5/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
EMMETT AND JASPER GIVE EDWARD SOME SEX TIPS by fille avec le foulard reviews
Emmett and Jasper and the whole gang try to prepare Edward for his wedding night.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 10,537 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 3/25/2010 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Edward, Emmett
The Buddy System OF DOOM! by help-me-think-of-a-name reviews
The school counsellor decides the cullen's anti socialness is getting too wierd and prepares to inflict some pain...... In the form of a BUDDY SYSTEM! SHOCK HORROR! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,953 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 2/17/2010 - Published: 7/6/2009
One big family haha by vampluver19 reviews
Okay, well i explain pretty much everything in the story..... zoey and stark have a 16 year old duaghter this was purely for my amusment..read and review maybes ill continue.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,091 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/17/2010 - Published: 11/3/2009 - J. Stark, Zoey R.
A Little Less 16 Candles, A Little More Fanfiction by Marafey reviews
My fanfic based on the video for 'A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"'.
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,271 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/13/2010 - Published: 2/6/2010
Mama by XxyourchemicalromanceXx reviews
For Gerard Way, there's nothing worse then being a foster kid in his own biological family
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,498 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/13/2010 - Published: 2/12/2010
The Ghost of You by Dark-Pinoy
A modern day musical wrapped around the music of My Chemical Romance filled with rebellion, loss, and tragedy. Ch 2 Up! Tell me what I can improve upon in the reviews.
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 639 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/12/2010 - Published: 1/10/2010
88 things the Twilight movie has taught us! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Twilight? Not educational? YEAH RIGHT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,109 - Reviews: 816 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 1/27/2010 - Published: 8/10/2009
Just When Things Were Getting Good by Madeleine Graye reviews
Told in Ellie's POV; unexpected event leaves her mind full of questions and uncertainties.
Avalon High - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,284 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 8/4/2009
Harry Potter and the Cullen protectors by x-shadow-x-kisses-x reviews
harry, ron and hermione return for their 7th year at hogwarts. renesmee, edward and bella are asked to stay at hogwarts to help protect them from death eaters. what happens when the volturi and death eaters team up to destroy their enemies? Canon pairings
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Supernatural - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,710 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Harry P., Renesmee C./Nessie
Adventures In Forks High by EmotionallyConfuzzled reviews
What will happen when Forks High School get's snowed in? With all of the Cullens in there! They Spend the night? Mike tries to be sexy for Bella? Edward loses control? Will Jasper have fun with emotions? Kareoke? Truth or Dare! One crazy night is ahead.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,749 - Reviews: 704 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 378 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 4/8/2009
The Lucky One by Beamqueen40 reviews
Bella is a six year old who is abused by her father and left to die till Carlisle saves her. The family wants to adopt her, but mut hide their secret till she's 16. Then she decides what she wants. BxE Story is better then summary!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 49,390 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Edward, Bella
Lions and Lambs by LoVeRoolz reviews
Basically season 4 my way! A few changes, explained in authors note... Starts right where season 3 ends... LoVe Most characters make an appearance and a few new ones! WARNING! The reviews are FULL of spoilers so please don't read them first... Please R/R
Veronica Mars - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 438,785 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 12/19/2009 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Veronica, Logan
Corrupting Bella by Emmett's-Luver reviews
What do Jasper, Bella, and Emmett do when everyone else is out hunting? Emmett desperately wants to corrupt his baby sister. All vampire.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,248 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 12/11/2009 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Emmett, Bella
The Lion and the Lamb: PART TWO! by Nesrine reviews
Edward and Bella continue the journey after a steamy night in Bella's truck. LEMONY FRESH! M/F, Edward/Bella, Adult Content
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 54,120 - Reviews: 864 - Favs: 1,256 - Follows: 986 - Updated: 12/3/2009 - Published: 3/4/2008
Emmett's Home Video's! by MangoTango450 reviews
Emmett, being Emmett, decided that he was bored one evening, so he got video cameras and started filming, but nothing awesome was going on, so he took things into his own hands and started pranking people! R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,546 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/3/2009 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Emmett
Unforgettable night by xMainstreamEmoBrdlineHardcorex reviews
please take the seat next to me! Bella and Edward begin a friendship on the school bus... will that relationship be something more than just friends? Can Edward bring some light into Bella's dark world? Not a One shot! All HUMAN! B AND E! fluff
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,750 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Edward, Bella
Is It All In A Name? by xMainstreamEmoBrdlineHardcorex reviews
E/B A/H a/u ooc. What is in a name? for a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. Not Romeo and Juliet. when Bella wants a family and a perfect stranger is up for the job. how can this end well?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,226 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Edward, Bella
Bella and Emmett's Songs by Completely Dipendente reviews
Bella is drunk and her and Emmett are writing songs about some of the people they know. Please review, even if you hate it x
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 10,151 - Reviews: 712 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Bella, Emmett
I feel like I already know you by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Date night is ALWAYS ruined by Bella and Edward's 'Just Friends' attitude. Their friends new policy: hook up or get out. So B and E hit the singles dating website to find their "True Love". They may be surprised at who that turns out to be....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 40,906 - Reviews: 1487 - Favs: 509 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 11/22/2009 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Boot Camp Extras by Almis31 reviews
This is a series on one shots about my story Boot Camp. Missing moments and whatnot. AU-Human, OOC, rated for foul-language, law-breaking, etc...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,673 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/18/2009 - Published: 5/18/2009
Phone Calls by Rock'n'Slash reviews
8 yr. after BD. Just random hiliarious phone calls between Edward&Jacob, Bella&Nessie, and Emmett&Jasper. Included: u-arent-good-enough-4-my-daughter-ness, all-men-are-idiots-ness, & lets-reek-havic-on-the-poor-pathetic-humans-ness. Some lauguage.MWHAHA!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 71 - Words: 36,725 - Reviews: 1867 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 9/15/2008
It's Something Like LoVe by BellaoftheBall91 reviews
Season one redone...Lilly's still alive...Veronica's the bad ass from the series...it just might take awhile for it to come out...and there will most def be LoVe...T for now but it might go to M
Veronica Mars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,942 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 11/12/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Veronica, Logan
Edward Does What! by mymanisfictional reviews
This is the classic "Cullen's read Twilight". C'mon, who wouldn't want to read about this?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,179 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 10/26/2009 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Edward
How We Came to Be by twilightxsoccer15 reviews
this is how Jack and Damien became a couple in my eyes its really cute and fluffy its just a simple one shot rated T for language and boy love
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/25/2009 - Damien M., Jack T. - Complete
Boot Camp by Almis31 reviews
When you’re young you’re supposed to have fun, law be damned. At least that’s how Bella Swan, Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon saw it. Rated for foul-language, under-age drinking and general law-breaking. AU-Human, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 115,327 - Reviews: 489 - Favs: 397 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 10/9/2009 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Complete
A Sincere Deception by xMainstreamEmoBrdlineHardcorex reviews
A/H A/U. Badboy Edward and Hardcore Bella have a love/hate relationship. He loves her she 'hates' him. what happens when cupid wont give them a break? E/B Em/R J/A rated T for language. truth or dare, band gigs, and bad pick up lines! NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 55 - Words: 110,653 - Reviews: 2111 - Favs: 720 - Follows: 407 - Updated: 10/7/2009 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Life After Breaking Dawn by x-shadow-x-kisses-x reviews
16 years after breaking dawn. How does renesmee's life go on? will renesmee and jacob be together forever? or will a tradgic hunting trip turn nessie's life upside down. Please read..Renesmee's POV-NO LEMONS its not easy being alone and pregnant
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 27 - Words: 32,098 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/29/2009 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Neptune Academy by Verbrevity reviews
But let me tell you something Mr. Echoll’s, short on committing murder, there is very little you can do which will surprise me, and that means that the chance of you being expelled are almost nil." “Like I said I like a little colour in my life,”
Veronica Mars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,495 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/29/2009 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Logan, Veronica
Age is A LOT More than a Number by vmars15 reviews
AU All events set on year behind actual time on show. Weevil is 26. Veronica is 15. Weevil is hired as Keith’s new assistant and romance blossoms between the two… but as the age difference would suggest, drama will ensue. PERMANENT HIATUS - Sorry D:
Veronica Mars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,876 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/28/2009 - Published: 12/13/2008 - Veronica, Weevil - Complete
One Step At a Time by mymanisfictional reviews
Each Cullen gets a chance at "Bella-sitting". Bella bonds with members of the Cullen family.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,412 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/23/2009 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Bella
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The Cullens! by EdwardCullen-mybrandofheroin reviews
Join the Twilight characters as they all play on "who wants to be a Millionaire?" ...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,921 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/21/2009 - Published: 6/25/2009
His Day Just Got Cullenized by EmotionallyConfuzzled reviews
Alice sees Charlie coming over early for a visit...and her and Emmett get an idea. They give Charlie a walk-through of daily life in the Cullen house-hold! Includes waking up Edward and Bella, Emmett's innuendos, and more! Post BD, very funny. Please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,563 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 7/31/2009
Cullen Girl's Night Out by Blue Eyed Bookworm reviews
When Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Bella go out for a night on the town, who will they run into on a first date? Will the other Cullens be spying on them? And who's that guy in the turban? Read to find out! Rated T because I'm paranoid. UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,914 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 9/15/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009
Sick by IsabellaDangelo reviews
Bella gets sick and the Cullens are there to help take care of her! Family fluff with a lot of Bella X Edward fluff. Post-Eclipse, pre-Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 58,512 - Reviews: 676 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 8/31/2009 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Bella - Complete
Twilight IM by nothingatlpersonal reviews
I know it's been done heaps of times, but I find them really funny so I wanted to do one of my own! Please R&R! Includes eventually all your favourite Twilight characters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,909 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/31/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009
What Happens in Detention by WereWolf1010 reviews
Six kids from totally different cliques wound up being together in detention. Can you just sense the drama? ExB JxA EmxR. All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 45,159 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 2/17/2009
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2130 - Favs: 3,541 - Follows: 1,645 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Men are like monkeys by elliot.and.jd.4eva1 reviews
One-shot ,humour Edward, jasper and emmett arguing about their bananas?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 572 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 8/15/2009
75 Things Emmett Cullen Is Not Allowed To Do by nothingatlpersonal reviews
Title self-explainitory. Plz review, this is my first fanfic! Now with short stories from each point
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,475 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/19/2009 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Emmett
Eleven Minutes In Heaven by Melonss x reviews
The eleventh book in the Princess diaries series! Just continuing the story after the tenth book.. what does the future hold for Mia and Michael?
Princess Diaries - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,086 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 7/29/2009 - Published: 7/9/2009
Subway Station Bathroom Secrets by IzzySkaluvrGallagher reviews
The lives of 3 rather interesting and under appreciated men come together under the most unexpected circumstances. A fun story I'm making. It's like a oneshot about how 3 of the best Meg Cabot's males 'find each other'. Only longer.
Crossover - Mediator & Princess Diaries - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,295 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 15 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Hector de Silva/Jesse
Lost In Forks by Calli3 reviews
Sadie Prince, a girl obsessed with Twilight gets sucked into the novel. Now she must find a way to get back home without getting in the way of the story she knows and loves. Based off the Lost in Austen idea
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 87,559 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 1/23/2009
Twilight? No, LIElight! by TRDancer reviews
Bella's life is extremely boring. When she moves to Forks, she takes matters into her own hands and invents a whole new Bella. But what happens when Edward breaks through the shell new Bella has built? Will Bella be able to hide her secret? AU w/ Vampires
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 48,420 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 6/26/2009 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Of Lucky Charms and Chances by dreamzofhope reviews
An unlucky Edward discovers that things tend to go magically right with him when he’s around a certain someone,but what when he discovers a lot more than just his luck in his ‘lucky charm’-Bella Swan?Drama,hilarity,jealousy-all of it ensues.AH.R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 30,081 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
My Chemical Romance by Chantalle Cassidy reviews
Jasper changes a dying Gerard Way and becomes a member of My Chemical Romance. Just randomness
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,558 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Jasper
Surf's up by seventeenforeverr reviews
When Bella's mom dies, she has to move in with the godmother she's never met before. Edward's a player, that Bella instantly hates. He only dates blondes. Will they get along or will they tear each other's throats out. Could there be love? OOC&AU
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,993 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 2/4/2009 - Published: 12/5/2008 - Edward, Bella
My Worst Nightmare by Rock'n'Slash reviews
Its Nessie's sixth birthday, and she is beaming. Why? Because she got asked out by the cutest guy in the entire school. Unaware of the imprinting, will she realize Jake loves her? How will Jake deal with the jock? Language, & in later chapters, dirtiness
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,515 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 1/12/2009 - Published: 11/12/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
A Right Jolly Old Elf by MarcyJ reviews
Emmett loses a bet and ends up on the wrong side of a Santa Suit. Written for blondieAKArobin for the support stacie stocking stuffer auction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,971 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Edward - Complete
10 Steps To Seducing Your Hot Virgin Vampire BF by halojones reviews
This story starts off after Edward rebuffs Bella's modest advances in their newly acquired bed in Edward's room. But things take a turn for the better for these two lovesick kids when Alice takes things into her own hands. Never bet against Alice!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 92,432 - Reviews: 5140 - Favs: 2,984 - Follows: 1,450 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Complete
Questions for Edward by Rock'n'Slash reviews
Once upon a time, the guys are out of the house and Alice and Bella get bored. So, they steal Edward's computer. They find a page that has fan questions on it. They have to comment. This is that page. If you like Bella's Ham Sandwich, you'll love this!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,642 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/20/2008
Picking Charlie's Brain by vjgm reviews
It is Post Breaking Dawn, and Bella is changed, and married to Edward. Charlie finds out that Bella is a vampire, but no one believes him. They take him to the hospital and put him under the care of the skilled Dr. Dover! Fun ensues :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,413 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 107 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Charlie S. - Complete
Facade by Warui-Usagi reviews
A series of short stories from the perspective of those friends and family that Bella was forced to leave behind. Have they managed to cope with her absence? And how are their lives progressing without her? Chapter 2 now posted.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,341 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 6/3/2008 - Published: 2/28/2008
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8378 - Favs: 7,518 - Follows: 1,727 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Sex Education With Emmett by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Emmett gives Bella the sex talk. One-shot Rated for safety. Winner of Best One-Shot short for Twilight Awards.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,024 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 744 - Follows: 105 - Published: 5/5/2008 - Complete
My Son In Law's a WHAT? by MistressCashew reviews
Ever wondered how Charlie discovers the secret? I have. Rated K for small amounts of language. NOW COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,894 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 5/3/2008 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Complete
A Double Trouble Sleepover by ieflamewriter11 reviews
What happens when Charlie discovers Jacob and Edward in Bella's room? Nothing good.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,108 - Reviews: 328 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 2/10/2008 - Published: 11/12/2007 - Complete
Vampires in Vegas by vjgm reviews
Alice and Rosalie decide to take Bella to Vegas for a bachelorette party against her will. The boys feeling leftout, decide to get themselves into a little trouble too. 1st fanfict...rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,254 - Reviews: 1474 - Favs: 1,991 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 9/21/2007 - Complete
The Birds and the Bees by Tee2007 reviews
Carlisle has The Talk with Edward so things are sure to go awry! The new chapter is finally here, thank you for waiting so patiently. Coming up next is Alice and Rosalie having The Talk with Bella, so stay tuned! Rated T for suggestive situations!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,989 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 426 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 4/2/2007
Africa by katje13 reviews
The Cullens go to Africa to celebrate Emmett and Rosalie's 2nd wedding... chaos ensues. Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT! Stephenie Meyer does.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,320 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/30/2007 - Published: 5/10/2007
The Birds & The Bees Emmett Style! by UnicornGoddess95 reviews
How does Bella get unglued from Edward? Find out and prepare to laugh! Complete for now...maybe I'll come up with more hilarity.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,515 - Reviews: 723 - Favs: 956 - Follows: 566 - Updated: 5/10/2007 - Published: 3/19/2007 - Complete
Nessie's Tea Party reviews
Nessie decides to hold a tea party with the Cullens and Jakey, but is it as innocent as it seems? Summary sucks, story is better
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete