The QAS
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Poll: What do you like better? Dogs vs. Cats? trust me, there's a point to this poll Vote Now!
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Joined 08-06-09, id: 2039542, Profile Updated: 02-26-12
Author has written 32 stories for Harry Potter, Animorphs, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Artemis Fowl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place, and Phineas and Ferb.

Hi, QAS here!

I can't say too much personal information because I enjoy not being kidnapped thank you very much!(so no more information other than the following, no names, places, dates, ect.).

Gender: Female

Favorite animal: I LOVE THEM ALL!

Favorite food: Ice cream

Favorite color: Purple

Phone number: STALKER!

Favorite word: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliphobia - - it's the phobia of long words!

Pet(s): a dog

Favorite hobbies: playing on my Wii; going skiing; roller skating; roller blading; ice skating (though I'm really bad :P); watching TV; telling people really random facts; playing with my dog; writing; drawing; singing; acting; annoying or confusing people; and just being plain lazy

Favorite books: Animorphs; Harry Potter; Artemis Fowl; Seekers; Diary of a Wimpy Kid; The Ravenmaster's Secret; Percy Jackson and the Olympians; The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles; Pendragon; Fablehaven; House Rules; Inside of a Dog; Tom Sawyer; Twelve Angry Men; The Mysterious Benidict Society; and pretty much anything involving animals!

Favorite TV shows (real people): iCarly; Wizards of Waverly Place (until season 3 where it gets stupid); The Suite Life of Zack and Cody (NOT The Suite Life on Deck--uggh, I hate that!); Good Luck, Charlie; and pretty much anything on AnimalPlannet (I'm sure there are others, but I'm too lazy to think of them)

Favorite TV shows (cartoon): Tom & Jerry; Spongebob; The Simpsons; and Phineas and Ferb

Random facts:

-The closest known star to earth (besides the sun) is Proxima Centauri. It is only 24.8 trillion miles (39.9 kilo meters) from earth, that's very close for a star!

-The Death Cap is the world's most poisonous mushroom

-The California redwood is the world's tallest tree reaching height of 385 feet (117 meters)!

-New Zealand has the world record for the country that eats the most ice cream

-Though the world's fastest running animal may be the cheeta, the Peregrine Falcon is the world's fastest animal it can dive at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour!

-The Cabybara is the world's largest rodent

-Dolphins name their children

-Norway has the world's longest road tunnel it is 15.2 miles (24.5 kilo meters)

-The tallest human to ever live in modern history was 8"11.1 tall!

-Human Babies are born color-blind

-All cats are born with blue eyes

-There are more TVs in the US than there are people in the UK!!!

-Men get the hiccups more often than women

-The literal definition of "jiffy" is one hundredth of a second

-Dogs were domesticated before cattle


~You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

You know you live in 2011 when you forgot to change the year on this


Okay now these are one of these stereotype thingies so if you hate stereotypes paste this into your profile.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon. (Where does that one even come from?)
I'm FRENCH so I MUST be stuck up.

I'm on the WRESTLING TEAM so I MUST be dumb.

I'm IRISH so I MUST be a leprechaun.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I LOVE TO READ so I MUST be a nerd.
I have AUTISM so I MUST be retarded.

I have AUTISM so I CAN'T POSSIBLY be able to talk.

I have ASPERGER'S so I MUST hate making friends.

I am JEWISH so I MUST hate all Muslims.

I am MUSLIM so I MUST hate all Jews.

I am GERMAN so I MUST be a Nazi.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I'm JEWISH so I MUST have a big nose.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED


Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.


If you ever fell asleep in class copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever stayed up all night copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this into your profile. (Yeah, you know who you are)

If when people call you crazy you take it as a complament copy and paste this onto you profile

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

I have seen purple cows. If 2 gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when 2 foots are feet, why aren't 2 footballs feetballs? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If your random and proud of it, put this on your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you believe that childhood is sacred, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that children are actually much smarter than most adults, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your Hogwarts letter is just really, really late copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever gone crazy looking for something that was in your hand all along, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like to repeat things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste onto you're profile.

It you own a pet copy and paste this into your profile

If you're random, copy and paste this onto you're profile.

If your school notebook has more doodles than notes in it, copy and paste this into your profile

If FanFiction to you is what MySpace or Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

You've been caught for reading/writing fanfics in class for multiple times copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever eaten something that grossed your whole lunch table out, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profileIf you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you carry a pen in your pocket all day and think it might turn into a sword when you uncap it, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think Annabeth is watching you under her magical Yankee's cap, paste this into your profile

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. (says you!)

A white man said "No coloured people allowed here." And the black man said. "When I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I am sick I am black, when I go out in the sun I am black, when I am cold I am black, when I die I'll be black, but you, you. When you were born you were pink, when you grew up you were white, when you are sick you are green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you are cold you are blue, and when you die you'll be purple and you dare to call me coloured?" The black man sat down and the white man walked away. If you're against racism copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like stuff, then copy and paste this onto you're profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, or were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that ice cream is a vegetable copy and paste this into your profile

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaomneal pwoer of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltters in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll
raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig, huh?
Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this, psas it on!

(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination

HELP THE BUNNY!!!!

/l、
(゚、 。 7 Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.
l、 ~ヽ Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!
じ しf,)ノ


Weird notes and warnings on things:

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (Well when else would I use it?)

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (too late...)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (No! Really?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what? Outter space?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts" (Who wrote this?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Wait to crush the kid's dream!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Good advice)


Who Do You Perfer?

Hermione vs Annabeth

Close, but Annabeth

Harry vs Percy (Jackson, not Weasley)

Percy

Malfoy vs Luke

Malfoy

Ginny vs Rachel

That's a close one, but I like Rachel better

Seekers vs Warriors

I never read Warriors, so Seekers (please don't hurt me!)

Twilight vs Harry Potter

Harry Potter

Harry Potter vs PJO

PJO books probably tie with Harry Potter, but the Harry Potter movies are so much cooler than The Lightning Thief one (it was a good movie, but it was nothing at all like the book--not even close)

PJO vs Animorphs

PJO

Animorphs vs Harry Potter

Harry Potter

PJO vs Heros of Olympus

I don't know enough about Heros of Olympus to make that choice

PJO vs KC

PJO

Sadie vs Annabeth

Annabeth, but I like both a lot

Carter vs Percy

Percy

Fred and George vs Connor and Travis

Fred and George

Twilight vs Animorphs

Animorphs

In intelligence: Artemis Fowl vs Ax from Animorphs

Artemis Fowl

Foaly vs Ax

idk, I think a tie

Ron vs Grover

Ron

Voldemort vs Kronos

Tie

Opal vs Voldemort

Opal

Opal vs Kronos

Opal

Artemis Fowl vs Harry Potter

Harry Potter

Holly vs Ginny

Tie, they are both awesome

Artemis vs Harry Potter

Artemis

Artemis vs Hermione

Artemis

Holly vs Hermione

Holly

AF vs Animorphs

AF

Jake from Animorphs vs Harry

Tie

Marco (Animorphs) vs Leo (Lost Hero)

Tie

Piper vs Hermione

Piper

Bella vs Hermione

Hermione

Piper vs Annabeth

Annabeth

Jason vs Percy

Percy

Leo vs Grover

Tie

Juliet vs Rachel (from Animorphs)

Juliet

Butler vs Ax

Butler

Hunger Games vs twilight

Hunger Games

Dork Diaries vs Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Disney vs Nick

Nick

Ice cream vs Donuts

Ice cream

Soda vs Hot Chocolate

Tie

Breakfast vs Lunch

Breakfast

TV vs Books

It depends

Dogs vs Cats

Both, but maybe dogs a little bit better

Winter vs Summer

Weather wise? Winter. In General, summer

Tigers vs Lions

Tigers

Sharks vs Dolphins

Dolphins

Skirt vs Pants

Pants

Clothes vs Pajamas

Pajamas

TV vs computer

Computer

Day vs Night

Night

Country vs City

I like both for different reasons

Power of flight vs invisibility

Power of flight, but they both would be cool

Chocolate vs Vanilla

Vanilla

Stripe vs Polka dots

Depends, probably polka dots

Democrat or Republican

NOYB

Kids or adults

KIDS RULE!!!!


Quotes about animals:

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. ~Samuel Butler, Notebooks, 1912

Dogs are miracles with paws. ~Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage. ~Agnes Repplier

I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that. ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth

When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism! ~David Starr Jordan

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret

The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man. ~Robertson Davies

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. ~Max Eastman, Enjoyment of Laughter

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. ~Andy Rooney

A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. ~John Holmes

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. ~Will Rogers

An old dog, even more than an old spouse, always feels like doing what you feel like doing. ~Robert Brault

The more I see of man, the more I like dogs. ~Mme. de Staël

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. ~Steve Bluestone

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. ~Aldous Huxley

They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation. ~Jerome K. Jerome

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's. ~Mark Twain, letter to W.D. Howells, 2 April 1899

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. ~Ambrose Bierce

A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. ~O.A. Battista

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog. ~Edward Hoagland

If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people. ~Karel Čapek

The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic. ~Henry Ward Beecher

The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's. ~Polish Proverb

A man may smile and bid you hail
Yet wish you to the devil;
But when a good dog wags his tail,
You know he's on the level.
~Author Unknown

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. ~Roger Caras

No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses. ~Herman Melville, Redburn. His First Voyage, 1849

A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal. ~Robert Brault

In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man. ~Maurice Maeterlinck

Happiness is a warm puppy. ~Charles M. Schulz

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. ~Christopher Morley

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. ~Dave Barry

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. ~Author Unknown

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies. ~Gene Hill

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. ~Andy Rooney

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise. ~Author Unknown

You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me. They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell. ~Emily Dickinson

There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog. ~Konrad Lorenz

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience. ~Woodrow Wilson

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace. ~Milan Kundera

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. ~Edward Abbey

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. ~Penny Ward Moser

A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours. ~Author Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. ~Will Rogers

The cat is above all things, a dramatist. ~Margaret Benson

Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything. ~Hank Ketchum

An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old. ~Carl Van Vechten

Dogs have owners, cats have staff. ~Author Unknown

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette

The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing. Like all pure creatures, cats are practical. ~William S. Burroughs

A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand. ~Proverb

Who among us hasn't envied a cat's ability to ignore the cares of daily life and to relax completely? ~Karen Brademeyer

Cats only pretend to be domesticated if they think there's a bowl of milk in it for them. ~Robin Williams

A meow massages the heart. ~Stuart McMillan

The domestic cat seems to have greater confidence in itself than in anyone else. ~Lawrence N. Johnson

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. ~Alfred North Whitehead

Ask the experimenters why they experiment on animals, and the answer is: "Because the animals are like us." Ask the experimenters why it is morally okay to experiment on animals, and the answer is: "Because the animals are not like us." Animal experimentation rests on a logical contradiction. ~Charles R. Magel

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. ~Jacques Deval, Afin de vivre bel et bien

We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form. ~William Ralph Inge, Outspoken Essays, 1922

I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it. ~Abraham Lincoln

Personally, I would not give a fig for any man's religion whose horse, cat and dog do not feel its benefits. Life in any form is our perpetual responsibility. ~S. Parkes Cadman

No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink. ~Murray Banks

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. ~Paul Rodriguez

Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. ~George Orwell,Animal Farm

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. ~Ellen DeGeneres

When a man wantonly destroys one of the works of man we call him a vandal. When he destroys one of the works of god we call him a sportsman. ~Joseph Wood Krutch

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of a gun. ~P.G. Wodehouse

Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow-creatures is amusing in itself. ~James Anthony Froude,Oceana, 1886

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for white, or women created for men. ~Alice Walker

As often as Herman had witnessed the slaughter of animals and fish, he always had the same thought: in their behaviour toward creatures, all men were Nazis. The smugness with which man could do with other species as he pleased exemplified the most extreme racist theories, the principle that might is right. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. ~Sri Aurobindo

When I was twelve, I went hunting with my father and we shot a bird. He was laying there and something struck me. Why do we call this fun to kill this creature [who] was as happy as I was when I woke up this morning. ~Marv Levy

Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals "love" them. But those who respect their natures and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more. ~Edwin Way Teale,Circle of the Seasons, 1953

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. ~Mark Twain

The woods were made for the hunters of dreams,
The brooks for the fishers of song;
To the hunters who hunt for the gunless game
The streams and the woods belong.
~Sam Walter Foss

Animals can communicate quite well. And they do. And generally speaking, they are ignored. ~Alice Walker

Lisa: "Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"
Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness."
~Matt Groening, The Simpsons

Whether hunting is right or wrong, a spiritual experience, or an outlet for the killer instinct, one thing it is not is a sport. Sport is when individuals or teams compete against each other under equal circumstances to determine who is better at a given game or endeavor. Hunting will be a sport when deer, elk, bears, and ducks are... given 12-gauge shotguns. Bet we'd see a lot fewer drunk yahoos (live ones, anyway) in the woods if that happened. ~R. Lerner, letter,Sierra, March-April 1991

Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made [man] is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. ~Mark Twain

Vivisection is a social evil because if it advances human knowledge, it does so at the expense of human character. ~George Bernard Shaw

I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't... The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further. ~Mark Twain

The basis of all animal rights should be the Golden Rule: we should treat them as we would wish them to treat us, were any other species in our dominant position. ~Christine Stevens

If a rabbit defined intelligence the way man does, then the most intelligent animal would be a rabbit, followed by the animal most willing to obey the commands of a rabbit. ~Robert Brault,

If a group of beings from another planet were to land on Earth - beings who considered themselves as superior to you as you feel yourself to be to other animals - would you concede them the rights over you that you assume over other animals? ~Attributed to George Bernard Shaw

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity. ~George Bernard Shaw

[T]he animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren; they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth. ~Henry Beston, The Outermost House, 1928

Terms like that, "Humane Society," are devised with people like me in mind, who don't care to dwell on what happens to the innocent. ~Barbara Kingsolver

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. ~Bradley Millar

If a ferret bites you it is nearly always your own fault. ~Phil Drabble

People must have renounced, it seems to me, all natural intelligence to dare to advance that animals are but animated machines... It appears to me, besides, that [such people] can never have observed with attention the character of animals, not to have distinguished among them the different voices of need, of suffering, of joy, of pain, of love, of anger, and of all their affections. It would be very strange that they should express so well what they could not feel. ~Voltaire, Traité sur la tolerance

The assumption that animals are without rights and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity. Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality. ~Schopenhauer

To a man whose mind is free there is something even more intolerable in the sufferings of animals than in the sufferings of man. For with the latter it is at least admitted that suffering is evil and that the man who causes it is a criminal. But thousands of animals are uselessly butchered every day without a shadow of remorse. If any man were to refer to it, he would be thought ridiculous. And that is the unpardonable crime. ~Romain Rolland, Nobel Prize 1915

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. ~William S. Gilbert

Because the heart beats under a covering of hair, of fur, feathers, or wings, it is, for that reason, to be of no account? ~Jean Paul Richter

Deliberate cruelty to our defenceless and beautiful little cousins is surely one of the meanest and most detestable vices of which a human being can be guilty. ~William Ralph Inge

There will be no justice as long as man will stand with a knife or with a gun and destroy those who are weaker than he is. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

The life spark in my eyes is in no way different than the life spark in the eyes of any other sentient being. ~Michael Stepaniak, quoted in Joanne Stepaniak, The Vegan Sourcebook, 1998

We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace. ~Albert Schweitzer, The Philosophy of Civilization


Quotes about children:

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. ~Liz Armbruster,

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. ~Author Unknown

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. ~Harold Hulbert

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. ~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. ~Bill Vaughan

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. ~Franklin P. Jones

Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. ~Not Your Average Dictionary

I am fond of children - except boys. ~Lewis Carroll

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ~Author Unknown

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.~Angela Schwindt

It is not easy to be crafty and winsome at the same time, and few accomplish it after the age of six. ~John W. Gardner and Francesca Gardner Reese

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. ~Robert Brault

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. ~Robert Brault,

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. ~Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, 1945

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. ~Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto

Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. ~Red Skelton

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. ~Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957

Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already. ~Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688


Book/TV quotes:

"Yeah, well, Percy wouldn't want to work for anyone with a sense of humor, would he?" -Ron; Harry Potter

"Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?" Draco Malfoy; Harry Potter

"Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something." -Draco Malfoy; Harry Potter

"What would we want to be prefects for?" said George, looking revolted at the very idea. "It'd take all the fun out of life." -George Weasley; Harry Potter

"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it. Once --"
"Or twice --"
"A minute --"
"All summer --"-Fred and George; Harry Potter

"Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?"-Ron Weasley; Harry Potter

"That's the most boring speech I ever heard, and I grew up with PERCY!"-Ron Weasley; Harry Potter

"I want to fix that in my memory forever: Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."-Ron Weasley; Harry Potter

"Animorphs, idiot teenagers with a death wish." --Marco; Animorphs

"Cassie, Cassie, Cassie. When you start taking advice from Marco, the end of civilization is very near." --Rachel; Animorphs

"Sticking your tongue in an electrical socket is dangerous- not to mention painful." -Marco; Animorphs

"Jake? Do me a favor. Don't ever say 'so far, so good'. The only time anyone ever says 'so far, so good' is right before everything blows up in his face!"-Marco; Animorphs

"It's an alien toilet!" -Cassie; Animorphs

"So now what? Save the world? [looks around] Can we eat first?"-Marco; Animorphs

“Marco, Marco, Marco. You do like to cling to your pathetic little dreams, don’t you?” ~ Rachel; Animorphs

“They think we’re intelligent. So, Marco, keep quiet. We don’t want them to learn the truth.” ~ Rachel; Animorphs

"(( Say Rachel, I got a joke for you,)) I said.
(( No you don't, )) She said.
I ignored the warning. (( Two blondes are standing across the river from one another... ))
((Hey,)) Tobias interrupted. ((Remember, I'm a Blonde too. It may be dirty-blonde, but its blonde. ))
(( Yeah, for a couple hours a week, )) I said. (( Anyway, one blonde calls out to the other, 'How do I get to the other side?' ))
((That is very funny Marco, )) Ax said brighty.
(( I haven't told the punchline yet, Ax, )) I replied. (( And the blonde across the river calls 'You ARE on the other side!' ))
(( That does it,)) Rachel said. (( Time for plan B. ))
((I've heard that one before, )) Tobias said, unimpressed.
((I'm afraid I do not understand, )) Ax replied.
(( Tobias, where exactly did you hear that joke before? )) I demanded. (( And owl, a sparrow, and you, hanging out and swapping stories? ))" -Marco, Rachel, Tobias, and Ax; Animorphs

“Ax-man. Cardboard isn’t one of the major food groups, remember?”-Marco; Animorphs

“Ha-ha. And, free this month only, a bonus ha!"-Marco; Animorphs (I know, I like Animorphs)

"You're telling me it's more relaxing for everyone if I just act like we're all going to die?" -Marco; Animorphs

"Excuse me, but are you planning on having a battle? IN MY NOSE!"-Marco; Animorphs

"I want to hop on the cafeteria table and dance on somebody's Tater Tots until the hall monitor comes to drag me away." -Marco; Animorphs

"You are going to try and wipe out every guy who's cuter than you, Marco? That's half the human race. "-Rachel; Megamorphs #2

"The talking bird wants to know if getting information on the location of an alien from a whale, that you've just saved from sharks, by turning into dolphins...You're suggesting that's weird? "-Marco; Animorphs

"I can't believe you guys were doing all this while I was sleeping! Playing tag with some dust monster from Saturn? Rachel having amnesia till Marco plowed into her with a truck? Escaping from Visser Three's Blade ship? And I'm sleeping the entire time? No way! I missed all the fun." --Tobias; Animorphs

"Oh, it's just a trash can. Chill out." Marco. BAM! BAM! BAM! "Okay, so it's four trash cans,"Marco. BAM! BAM! BAM! "Do you hate trash cans? Is that your problem? Do you just HATE TRASH CANS?!!"Jake. -Animorphs

"'No. No. The sun does not rise in the west, the Chicago Cubs don't win the World Series, Scully never, ever believes Mulder, and Rachel does not cry. Those are the things I know.'" -Marco; Animorphs

"I was busy watching my taped reruns of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," Marco said, giving Rachel a sly look. "Last night it was the one where it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood."-Marco; Animorphs

" Hey, look! Over by that tree. See? A baby skunk with its mother."(Sarcastically) "Let's run right over and pet them!"-Cassie and Marco;
Animorphs

“Salt! Salt! And grease! Greee-suh!”Ax; Animorphs

"Don't give me any of your lip today, Foaly, because today is not one of those Oh-I'm-so-impressed-with-the-pony's-technology days."-Julius Root; Artemis Fowl

"One, you're right. Two, I'm going to run with it. Three, well done, you two. And four, you ever call me Julius again, Foaly, you'll be eating your own hooves. "-Julius Root

"Looks like the gang's all here. And guess what? I don't like gangs."-Julius Root

"If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose than I'm crazy. That's the way history is written."-Artemis

"Anybody see you come in here?'

Holly thought about it.

'The FBI,CIA, NSA, DEA, M16. Oh, and the EIB.'Foaly frowned. "The EIB?' 'Everyone in the building"-Holly Short; Artemis Fowl

"Whatever they're paying me, it isn't enough."-Foaly; Artemis Fowl

"My bugs don't have bugs."-Foaly; Artemis Fowl

"No. This is not the commander. This is Foaly, the centaur. Is this the kidnapping lowlife human?"-Foaly

"(to Cudgeon) Naughty naughty. No one beats Foaly but me."-Julius Root; Artemis Fowl

"Trust me. I'm a genius."-Artemis; Artemis Fowl

"I don't like lollypops!"-Artemis; Artemis Fowl

"Food?"-Grover; Percy Jackson

"Okay." Rachel stood up and said really loud. "Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!" Nobody even looked over. Rachel shrugged and sat down. "They don't seem to care."-Rachel; Percy Jackson

"It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up."-Percy; Percy Jackson (duh)

"You are okay?' he asked 'Not eaten by monsters?'
'Not even a little bit.' I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.
Yay!' he said. 'Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!'-Tyson and Percy; Percy Jackson

"I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."-Percy--do I even need to say it?

"He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatcailly.
“Green grass breaks through snow.
Artemis pleads for my help.
I am so cool.”

He grinned at us, waiting for applause.
"That last line was four syllables.” Artemis said.
Apollo frowned. “Was it?”
“Yes. What about I am so bigheaded?”
“No, no, that’s six syllable, hhhm.” He started muttering to himself.
Zoe Nightshade turned to us. “Lord Apollo has been going through this haiku phase ever since he visited Japan. Tis not as bad as the time he visited Limerick. If I’d had to hear one more poem that started with, There once was a godess from Sparta-"
“I’ve got it!” Apollo announced. “I am so awesome. That’s five syllables!” He bowed, looking very pleased with himself."-Artemis, Apollo, and Zoe; Percy Jackson

"Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades."-Percy; Percy Jackson

"Well, Percy, what have we learned today?""That the three-headed dogs prefer red rubber balls over sticks?"-Percy and Grover; Percy Jackson

Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"-Dionysus; Percy Jackson

"I don't recommend shadow travel if you're scared of: a) The dark; b) Cold shivers up your spine; c) Strange noises;; d) Going so fast you feel like your face is peeling off. In other words, I thought it was awesome." -Percy; Percy Jackson

"'Monkey bars,' Annabeth said. 'I'm great at these.' She leaped onto to the first rung and start swinging her way across. She was scared of tiny spiders, but not of plummeting to her death from a set of monkey bars. Go figure."-Percy; Percy Jackson

"'You're Dionysus,' I said. 'The god of wine.'
Mr. D rolled his eyes. 'What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?'"-Dionysus and Percy; Percy Jackson

"All right cupcakes, you are about to see the Grand Canyon. Try not to break it. The skywalk can hold the weight of seventy jumbo jets, so you featherweights should be safe out there. If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork." Gleeson Hedge; The Lost Hero

"You're a strange little dude," Teddy; Good Luck Charlie

"He's making a mash potatoe girlfriend out of my leftovers. Make him stop!" Jerry Russo; Wizards of Waverly Place

Max: Hey, I've got something that'll put our name on the wizard map! OK... how about a spell to make clear plastic that's sticky on one side and that helps put wizards put drawings on the refridgerator? I'll call it 'Russo's Sticky Strips'.
Justin: You know, that sounds vaguely similar to something that we have right here called tape!-Max and Justin Russo; Wizards of Waverly Place

Justin: Got it.
Alex: Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam.
Max: [surprised] We're taking an exam?

Mr. Laritate: Oh, Alex, you are definitely not your brother, Justin.
Alex: No, I'm not. I'm cuter, I'm more fun to talk to, and I don't have dental floss on a key chain.
Mr. Laritate: Yeah? [he holds up a dental floss key chain] Well, I do. Justin made it for me. Ah, Justin. Those were the days.-WWP

Jerry: [trying to teach spells] Okay, you haven't eaten for days and you're starving and in desperate need of a sandwich. What do you do?
Alex: I go down to the sandwich shop and ask Mom to make me a sandwich.
Jerry: Yes, but Mom's not there.
Justin: Where's Mom?
Jerry: She left the country.
Justin: Left the country! Why? Is she okay?
Jerry: She's fine!
Alex: Well if she's fine I don't see why she couldn't make me a sandwich.~WWP

Patrick (to some random guy): Are you Squidward? Guy: NoPatrick (to the same guy): Are you Squidward now?Guy: NO! ~Patrick Star; Spongebob

Computer: Plankton: 1% Evil, 99% Hot Gas.~SB

[SpongeBob has a jellyfish on a leash]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, Squidward. Meet my new pet.
Squidward: That's no pet. That's a wild animal.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No he isn't. He can do tricks.
[Throwing a stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Fetch!
[Jellyfish fetches stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up?
[Jellyfish buzzes three times]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Play dead!
[Jellyfish is buried under a tombstone, then comes out]
Squidward: I wouldn't let that thing in my house even if it was potty-trained.
[Jellyfish is sitting on a toilet, reading the newspaper and humming]
Squidward: I didn't need to see that.~SB

Squidward: Will you please stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn?~SB

"Wait don't tell me, don't tell me Spongebob! Don't tell me!!!!...Ok, tell me" -SB

I call this little number...striped sweater. *starts to sing* The best time to wear a Striped Sweater, is all the time!
-Spongebob

Spongebob: "Hey Squidward. Guess what today is.
Squidward: "Annoy Squidward day?"
Spongebob: "No, silly. That's on the 15th."~SB

Crusty Krab Training Instructor: "P.O.O.P. People Order Our Patties"~SB

Spongebob:"Patrick, your genius is showing."
Patrick:"Where!!!"~SB

Spongebob: Remember, Patrick...Flatter the customer.
*customer opens the door*
Patrick: I love you.

Sandy: *To Patrick* "Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"
Patrick: "Not until four."~SB

The inner contents of my mind are an enigma. (In Patrick's thought bubble, a milk carton tips over).
-Patrick;SB

I'll tell you a little story called "The Ugly Barnacle": Once there was a very ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everybody died. The End.-Patrick;Spongebob

Carly: Until next time, stay in school,
Sam Puckett: Recycle,
Carly: Pour milk on your parents,
Sam Puckett: Hug a duck,
Carly: Eat a stick of butter,
Sam Puckett: And shampoo a squirrel, goodbye!~iCarly

Sam: Holy chiz on a chizzle!

Dear Gosh, please make her leave.~Freddie; iCarly

Spencer: The bunny has conflicting emotions!~iCarly

Phineas: Yeah, we're inside Candace's stomach.Ferb: That's creepy on so many levels.~PF

Candace: No, no, it's just that I saw you and it was like, it was like my teacher wearing a cowboy hat!~PF

Ferb: Give up? Give up? The day may come when we'll give up on fruitless searches after a mere eleven minutes, but that day is not today! The day may come when our favorite reptile may be lost from our memories and his enduring love of mushrooms forgotten, but that day is not today! Today we search! We will search for him in the streets, we will search for him in the trenches, we will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We will search for him in the multilevel car parks and municipal recreation facilities. And we few. We happy few. We small band of brothers— and girl from across the street. We shall not cease 'til he is found!~PF

Baljeet: Ugh! It takes you one day to build a roller coaster, but it takes 10 minutes to pump a tire?!~PF

Candace: Do you know what this is?Phineas: Uh, is it not a rabbit?Candace: This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.Ferb: So why is he wearing a tutu? Candace: He likes it! [to the rabbit] Don't worry, Mr. Cutie-Patootie, they're just jealous.~PF

Phineas: Is everything okay?

Baljeet: If by okay, you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure, then yes, everything is groovy.

Phineas: That's not at all what I meant by 'okay!'~PF

Baljeet: Oh, thank you sir!~PF

Ferb: (after Perry accidentally hits a self-destruct button the Rainbowinator) You know, in retrospect, I question the inclusion of a self-destruct button in the first place.~PF

Phineas: Ferb speaks Martian!Candace: Tell them I want to walk alone.Ferb: Meht tuohtiw ton tub enif yas yeht.Martians: Arrabata Dutch!Ferb: They say fine, but not without them.~PF

Random Troubled Man: Finally, my irrational fear that a giant platypus will see me in my underwear is cured! [The Platypus Monster stomps past his house while the man is in his underwear] ...It's even worse than I thought...~PF

"The best person I know is Myself." ~Greg; Diary of a Wimpy Kid

"Let go, baby hippo!" Rodrick; Diary of a Wimpy Kid

She's a girl! Where do I grab her?~Greg when wresting with Patty; Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Hey, guys! Wanna see my secret freckle?~Fregley; Diary of a Wimpy Kid


Favorite 12 HP characters, in no particular order:

1. Ron

2. Fang

3. Fluffy

4. Fred

5. George

6. Lily

7. Remus

8. Sirius

9. James

10. Draco

11. Tom Riddle (before he became Voldemort)

12. Pig (Ron's owl)

Do u think that nine and six make a good couple?

Well, DUH! It's in the book

What would happen if four walk in eight and nine kissing?

The thought! It BURNS!!

Who do you like better, four or five?

Fred and George? GASPS You want me to CHOOSE?!

Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Tom Riddle's like fifty years older than Lily

What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

I would run away screaming my head off

Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yeah

Would Two and Six make a good couple?

The thought! It BURNS!

Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Neither, unless that author had some serious issues

Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

FORGET IT!

Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Ron and Sirius? That's just wrong!

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

"The Story of a Very Twisted Author"

Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet?

Unfortunately, no one really writes about Fluffy

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Probably not

Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

I don't know why don't you ask them?!

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Ron/Lily/Pig WARNING: Reader might run away screaming

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

A while ago, when I was looking up fics about Fred

"(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Ron and Remus are in a happy relationship, until The James runs off with Fred. Ron, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Tom Riddle and a brief unhappy affair with Pig, then follows the wise advice of George and finds true love with Fluffy.

What title would you give this fic?

"What happens when an author is on drugs"

How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Not answering that


List your favorite Animorph characters in no particular order:

1. Marco

2. Ax

3. Loren

4. Jordan

5. Sarah

6.Melissa

7. Elfangor

8. Madra

9. Erek

10. Champ

11. David

12. Karen

Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Yes, I have actually. It was an AU and pretty good (but it wasn't a pairing)

What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

I would run away screaming my head off

Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yeah

Would Two and Six make a good couple?

The thought! It BURNS!

Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

The closest thing I could picture, is Sarah playing fetch with Champ at the Hork Bajir coloney

Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Blind and alone. Loren had almost given up all hope. Until a certain dog brought happiness into her life again (when Loren gets Champ)

Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Sort of, it was called "The Girlfriend"

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

"A twisted nightmare"

Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet?

Don't know

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Don't know

Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

I DON'T KNOW!!!

If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

"Had a Bad Day"

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Marco/Melissa/Karen WARNING: ...um...not sure...

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Recently

Is number one hot, how hot?

Well, Marco? He's funny, and one of my favorites, but he's probably too old for me

Would six and three make a good couple?

Melissa and Loren? NO, that's just wrong!


List your favorite POJ characters in no particular order:

1. Mrs. O'Leary

2. Grover

3. Tyson

4. Blackjack

5. Rachel

6. Percy

7. Nico

8. Hermes

9. Cerberus

10. Annabeth

11. George

12. Martha

Do one and nine make a good couple?

Actually, yes. I'm writing a fanfiction about it called "It's A Dog's Life!"

Who do you prefer, five or ten?

As characters? Rachel or Annabeth? I like them both about the same...maybe Rachel if I had to choose, but I'm not entirely sure. But I would not date either of them because...hmm...I don't know...I'M A GIRL!!

Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

No, and NOOOO!!!

Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Don't know

Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Tyson had never seen anything so beautiful in his life-except for peanut butter...Tyson/Annabeth

Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

AHHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

"Snake-Sitting"

If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

idk

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Mrs. O'Leary/Percy/Martha WARNING: Do not read unless you have a very strong stomach

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

A while ago


List your 12 favorite Artemis Fowl characters in no particular order:

1) Becket Fowl

2) Myles Fowl

3) Grub Kelp

4) Holly Short

5) Artemis Fowl II

6) Foaly

7) Jayjay

8) Mulch Diggums

9) Butler

10) Juliet

11) Trouble Kelp

12) Julius Root

Who do you prefer, five or ten?

Hmm...Artemis or Juliet. It depends. But in a fight, my money would be on Juliet

Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

No, and NOOOO!!!

Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yeah, a few

Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Five/ten, because at least Juliet is a girl

Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

AHHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

"Like Commander, Like Lemur"

If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

idk

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Becket/Foaly/Root WARNING: Don't read if...just don't read!

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

He's kind of the main character, so almost every AF story


Some laws are important, some laws are selfish, and some laws are just plain stupid. Let me show you some of the most ridiculous laws in world-none of this is made up-so I'm not promising all of this is 100 percent true:

(Note: just because it's here, doesn't mean you have to listen to it if you live there)

US Laws :

In Alaska, it is illegal to wake up a sleeping bear to take its picture (although hunting them is legal)

Again, in Alaska, it's illegal to push a moose out of a moving airplane

In New York, Arizona, and Georgia, it is illegal for a donkey to sleep in a bath tub.

In Idaho it is illegal to go fishing from the back of a camel or giraffe.

In Florida, if an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking meter's time must be paid for.

In Bladwin Park, California, you are not allowed to ride a bycicle in a swimming pool

In New Jersey, It is Illegal To Wear A Bulletproof Vest While Committing A Murder (but committing a murder IS?)

In Connecticut, A Pickle Is Not Officially A Pickle Unless It Bounces.

In North Carolina, Bingo Games Can't Last More Than Five Hours

In Connecticut, It's Illegal To Walk Across A Street On Your Hands

In Columbus, Ohio it is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.

In Youngstown, Ohio it is illegal to run out of gas.

In Oklahoma, whale hunting is strictly illegal (note: there are no whales in Oklahoma)

Rhode Islands says it is illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

In Hawaii you aren't allowed to put coins in your ears

Peanuts are not allowed to be sold in Lee County, Alabama after sunset on Wednesdays.

When in Alabama, it is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant in New Orleans.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time in Alabama.

In Alaska kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.

In Arkansas it's illegal to mispronounce the state's name.

Unmarried woman cannot parachute on Sundays in Florida.

Newark: It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

In ancient Hawaii, it was illegal to smile. If you were caught smiling, you'd be exiled or even killed

Around the world: (Note: This is not meant to offend anyone, or any country.)

Flushing the toilet after 10 pm where the person lives in an apartment is illegal in Switzerland

Chewing gum was illegal in Singapore unless you are doing it to help you stop smoking until 2003

You are not permitted to leave your house without wearing underwear in Thailand.

Donald Duck was once banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear any pants.

In the Philippines, cars whose license plates end with a 1 or 2 are not allowed on the roads on Monday, 3 or 4 on Tuesday, 5 or 6 on Wednesday, 7 or 8 on Thursday, and 9 or 0 on Friday from 7:00 AM onwards to keep roads free of traffic jams.

In Victoria, Australia it is forbidden to wear hot pink pants after mid-day on a Sunday.

In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.

Karate films were banned in Iraq in 1979.

In Israel it is illegal to take a bear to the beach


My future fics: (Note: Nothing is one hundred percent offical yet)

1. Title: Title Undecided (Artemis Fowl/Percy Jackson crossover)

Summery: Due to a mistake in location, Nico accidently loses his sword somewhere in Ireland. And when Artemis stumbles upon it, things are about to get interesting...

Rating: K

Genre: Adventure/Humor

2. Title: Title Undecided (Artemis Fowl/Harry Potter crossover)

Summery: The fairies weren't the first magical people Artemis has met... When an 11-year-old Artemis Fowl is excepted into Hogwarts, the school is about to get the shock of their life.

Rating: K

Genre: Fantasy

3. Title: Slytherin Story

Of all the places that she could have been trapped at, it was just her luck for her to be stuck here. Slight Astoria/Draco in later chapters

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

4. Title: Cursed (Harry Potter)

Summery: What if Voldemort decided to make another horcrux...? (Series)

Rating: T (or M)

Genre: Horror/Mystery/Fantasy/Tragedy/Angst (Genre changes depending on story)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Clash by Sapphire Drizzle reviews
Albus and Rose, brilliant but opposing minds. He is cold, cruel, and nothing like his father. All she wants is to save her brother. War looms, magic consumes, and lines between right and wrong blur as they egg each other down paths no wizard has dared to tread before. This time, it's not just about saving the world. First you have to survive it. (Fic by my sis; first chap for info)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 43,159 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/3 - Published: 8/30/2013 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M., Rose W., Hugo W.
Chess by AKA 24601 reviews
Kyle plays chess against himself in his spare time, there not being any other people who can play the game at his level in town. Then an opponent appears for him. Unfortunately for Kyle, the stakes in the game he ends up playing are really high - he cannot afford to lose.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,687 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/2 - Kyle B., Kenny M. - Complete
The Chthonic Grimoire of Spells, Incantations, Potions and Rituals by BreakfastWithBlockhead reviews
It's another boring Friday night for South Park's goth kids until Henrietta unveils a book of spells and tests them out on Michael, Pete and Firkle. She comes across a truth spell, but some stones are better left unturned.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,468 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/2 - Henrietta, Curly Goth, Red Goth, Kindergarten Goth - Complete
The Prince And The Porpoise by WensleydaleCheddar reviews
South Park Aargh #05 - Episode 817. Token wonders how things would change if he had a family like Kenny, so they decide to switch roles. Kyle worries that he has become racist. Meanwhile, Fiona encounters a new problem in the school cafeteria and Wendy tries to teach everyone some facts about sea mammals. Rated T for whom the bell tolls. Updated on Saturdays.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,989 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/24/2013 - Published: 11/16/2013 - Kenny M., Token B., Kyle B., Wendy Testaburger
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... Ch. 101, Precautionary Measures: Pt. 2.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 101 - Words: 561,157 - Reviews: 23764 - Favs: 13,420 - Follows: 12,328 - Updated: 12/11/2013 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
People Spouting Howdy Neighbour by WensleydaleCheddar reviews
South Park Aargh #04 - Episode 816. When Randy and his old rival join the boys' snowball fight, it becomes more and more serious. Meanwhile, Cartman tries to get proof of a certain kind of crime in Fiona's home and Mr. Garrison struggles with the fact that his assistant may be a better teacher than he is. Rated T for all I know.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,970 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/8/2013 - Published: 8/4/2013 - Randy M., H. Garrison, Mr. Slave, Eric Cartman - Complete
Fowl among Serpents by Tormentas reviews
The worlds youngest criminal mastermind attending Hogwarts. Voldemort was nothing compared to Artemis Fowl!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Crime - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,856 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 388 - Updated: 8/27/2013 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Luna L., Artemis F.
The Children of the Prophecy by The Clockwork Narrator reviews
Artemis Fowl was never one for believing in mythology. But when an attack from a mythological creature sends him to a place called Camp Half-blood, he isn't sure what to believe. There he learns about a prophecy that will change the world and him forever
Crossover - Artemis Fowl & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,347 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 8/19/2013 - Published: 12/25/2010 - Artemis F., Percy J.
Infiltration by hiholly123 reviews
After stumbling across a large source of magic in Britain, Foaly sends none other than Artemis Fowl to investigate Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, disguised as an exchange student from Ireland. Possibly minor A/Holly. T for (maybe) romance, maybe language. NOT ABANDONED I SWEAR
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 49,458 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 356 - Updated: 7/15/2013 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Harry P., Artemis F.
South Park 101 by AKA 24601 reviews
While far from everything you will need to know about life in your new home in South Park, memorise this and you'll know enough that if it's a quiet mountain town life you're looking for, you've made a horrible, horrible mistake. (T is for one incidence of horrifying language, yay first submission, all that stuff)
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,636 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/27/2013 - Kenny M., Kyle B. - Complete
Unlocking South Park by TaroTsujimoto reviews
The kids are pulled into an investigation when a weary yet eccentric traveller named The Doctor notices that things aren't adding up in South Park.
Crossover - South Park & Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,345 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/16/2013 - Published: 11/29/2012 - 11th Doctor
A Message From One, Craig Tucker by Predominantly Normal reviews
Exactly what the title says. This is the shortest and most useless thing I have ever written.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 4/13/2013 - Craig T. - Complete
Lightning by ChaosKirin reviews
Stan, Kenny, and the other kids from South Park have an adventure. Stan finds out what it's like to have Kenny's power, and the only way to put things right again is to visit ol' Cthulhu.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 29,693 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/4/2013 - Stan M., Kenny M. - Complete
Fragmented by ChaosKirin reviews
Because there likely won't be any sort of reactive episode dealing with Kyle's healing, I kind of needed to get some closure on the entire situation, and so I wrote this fic. It was hard to write a piece that both used Cartman as a source of healing and still kept him in character. I think I've managed this in some form or another. XD
South Park - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,793 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/4/2013 - Eric Cartman, Kyle B. - Complete
Elfangor's Son by o0tyarah0o reviews
"Dad?" Tobias asked softly. "What the- Dad, what are you doing?" I hid my face. No, no, this couldn't be happening! What was I supposed to do? How do you tell your 13-year-old son that his father is an alien? AU.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 36,738 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 1/2/2013 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Elfangor, Loren
Sing a Song of South Park by ThreadbareSP reviews
A collection of songs and parodies from Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and more. The following lyrics contain coarse language and due to their content should not be read by anyone.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,439 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/13/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011
Percy Jackson The Death Eater by Glass of H2O reviews
Percy awakens on a beach, only to discover that he is in England. The Death Eaters find him, and well... Set after TLO and during DH.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 19,904 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 11/11/2012 - Published: 8/17/2011 - Draco M., Percy J.
Slytherin by randomgenius reviews
When did Slytherin change from the house of the "devious and cunning" to house of the "fanatical mini-Death Eater purebloods"?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,657 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/10/2012 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Theodore N.
The Other Fourth Grade by WensleydaleCheddar reviews
South Park Aargh #03 - Episode 717. Dogpoo is frustrated that Mr. Garrison's class is known to be more exciting than his. He comes up with an idea Bluecap does not like. Meanwhile, Mr. Mackey gives both classes an unusual group homework. A background-character story. Rated T for swearing, do I even have to say it?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,935 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/8/2012 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Dogpoo, Lizzy, Gary H., Mr. Mackey - Complete
The Lost Key by Alice V reviews
A key's been stolen, a hidden eye is wanted by all and some bloodthirsty monsters invade a certain castle... The laws are broken everywhere, and the wizards end up seeing themselves in the middle of a chaos they never suspected that could exist.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,561 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 10/16/2010 - Nico A. - Complete
Bloody Kleptomania by WensleydaleCheddar reviews
South Park Aargh: episode 815 / #02 Cartman has a new idea for instant cash, Fiona is up to her old tricks again, Kyle has to deal with them both while Stan becomes an activist again. Meanwhile, some of the other kids are having adventures of their own... Oh, and Kenny dies. Chaos ensues. Rated T for being South Park.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,497 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/28/2012 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Eric Cartman, Clyde D., Bebe S., Ester S. - Complete
Fiona by WensleydaleCheddar reviews
South Park Aargh #01 - Episode 716. While another new, foreign girl... yawn... joins the fourth grade class in the South Park Elementary, students' belongings mysteriously disappear. Kyle blames Cartman who is busy rallying a campaign against Mary Sues... Rated Tea for Britain.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,231 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/18/2012 - Published: 4/7/2012 - Kyle B., Jason, Eric Cartman, Mr. Mackey - Complete
Mystery Valentine by Wedjat reviews
Cartman receives nothing on Valentine's Day except an anonymous card in his locker. Instead of just appreciating it like a normal kid, he launches into a full blown investigation to discover who it was that gave it to him.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,309 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/17/2012 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Eric Cartman
The Immortal Lords by Bleeding-Ink86 reviews
Voldemort has been offered immortality by Kronos in exchange of help to destroy Mt. Olympus. Harry and the Order now have to help the Demigods if they want to have a chance to survive against Voldemort and his army.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 29,193 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 4/14/2012 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Harry P., Percy J.
Snowpocalypse by Wedjat reviews
After a massive snowstorm, Kenny does whatever it takes to give his sister the Christmas she deserves…even if it means working for Cartman and fighting an army of polar bears. COMPLETE.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,649 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Mysterion, Karen McCormick - Complete
Hasa Diga Eebowai by Lady Mayflower reviews
Life in South Park isn't easy. But the best way to get through all these troubled times is to come up with a saying to make it all seem better.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,671 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Complete
Artemis and the Chocolate Factory by Wonkaverse reviews
How the legendary tour in Willy Wonka's factory would have turned out if the most intelligent child in Western Europe had wanted to find a Golden Ticket.
Crossover - Artemis Fowl & Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,322 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/25/2012 - Published: 3/13/2012 - Artemis F., Willy Wonka - Complete
Albus Potter and the Legend of the Changelings by allegratree reviews
This is one chapter from the fourth installment of a series of Albus Potter stories I've written. I recommend reading the other three first, however, it isn't essential.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,315 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 1/20/2012 - Published: 6/23/2011 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M.
The Family Name: Year Five by Elbereth in April reviews
Voldemort has risen. The Ministry has invaded Hogwarts. Artemis is teaching Harry Occlumency. Harry is teaching Defense lessons. And Draco is teaching the Slytherins to be good guys. Well, sorta.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 94,072 - Reviews: 632 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 328 - Updated: 1/20/2012 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Draco M., Artemis F. - Complete
One of the Girls by ThreadbareSP reviews
The fourth grade girls have made another list, ranking the girls from prettiest to ugliest. This time, it isn't rigged, and Charlie Pierzynski is dead last. TSP Episode #202
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,367 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 1/2/2012 - Kyle B. - Complete
The Penetrator of Darkness: Year One by malfoyforever reviews
2017-2018 school year. A new era, a new villain, three new heroes: Rose, Scorpius, and Albus. Three different stories. Follow them as they go through their first year, as they discover their true identity and the weight of their destiny.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,305 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Nico A.
How Javert Stole Christmiz by hollybridgetpeppermint reviews
A parody of Dr. Seuss' classic, featuring Javert in a Santa suit as the Grinch, Valjean as a Who, Cosette as Cindy-Lou Who, and Gavroche as Max. "Why, for twenty-five years I've put up with it now! I MUST catch this dangerous convict! ...But HOW?"
Les Miserables - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,668 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Javert, Valjean - Complete
Hedgehog by ThreadbareSP reviews
Stan is scared of a hedgehog, Tweek might have rabies, and the whole town is convinced that a cult is ritualistically mutilating animals. This script contains coarse language and due to its content should not be read by anyone. TSP Episode #110.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,204 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/27/2011 - Published: 12/23/2011 - Stan M., Tweek T. - Complete
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner by ThreadbareSP reviews
"Dude, this is so cool. Killer headless Norwegian Congolese warrior ghosts kick ass!" It isn't just a song. Roland is real, and he's out for revenge... against Stan. Not for die-hard Taylor Swift fans. TSP Episode #108
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,056 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 12/20/2011 - Stan M. - Complete
Girl Scout Cookies by ThreadbareSP reviews
"I am in the planning stages of an entrepreneurial project. I need an undercover worker with intelligence, spunk, and female genitalia to infiltrate the Girl Scouts and facilitate the acquisition of the cookies. That's where you come in." TSP #201
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,251 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 12/20/2011 - Eric Cartman - Complete
Elephant Balls by ThreadbareSP reviews
When a strict sub takes over for an ailing Mr. Garrison, the kids rally to help pay for his surgery. But raising money for scrotal elephantitis isn't as easy as it sounds. Meanwhile, five-year-old Becca has a crush on Kenny. TSP Episode #109
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,557 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 12/20/2011 - H. Garrison, Kenny M. - Complete
The Charlie Arc by ThreadbareSP reviews
A new kid moves to South Park. Cartman brainwashes a four-year-old. Butters gets grounded. A con-man psychologist tricks the adults into fearing their own children. Kenny dies multiple times. Hilarity ensues. Getting revamped and split up!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 42,212 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/20/2011 - Published: 12/19/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M.
The End by Wedjat reviews
Tensions rise in South Park with the appearance of foreign exchange students and Stan's inevitable move. The entire town is thrown into turmoil and the stage is set for a final confrontation between Kyle and Cartman.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,076 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 11/19/2011 - Kyle B., Mysterion
Life as We Know It by I-Like-Pie-Too-Dean reviews
Stealing magic was forbidden, unless you are Artemis Fowl that is. After missing for 3 years in the real world, Artemis returns from Hybras and finds a letter to a magical school addressed to him? What in the world? Fifth year OOTP, Pre-Time Paradox
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,831 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 10/13/2011 - Published: 6/1/2011 - Artemis F.
Get Out Of My Head by lizoftheinfinite reviews
In the end, all Kenny wanted was to stay dead.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,439 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/25/2011 - Kenny M., Kyle B. - Complete
Alex Russo and The Goblet of Fire by dreamanddiscover reviews
Alex schemes her way into joining WizTech at Hogwarts for the Tri-Wizard Tournament. What she's looking for is fame and glory - But what she gets is an experience that will change her life forever. Friends are made, hearts are broken, and a war begins.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Wizards of Waverly Place - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,884 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Harry P., Alex R.
Potter Progress Plea Poem by AdamSpitz reviews
Methods Of Rationality has only 72 chapters and that makes me sad.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 20 - Published: 8/12/2011
Days of Orion by TheQueenOfTheFoxes reviews
The days of Artemis's treatment, starring Orion, and other alters. Actually, just one more. But just one is more than enough for Artemis to handle.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 19,789 - Reviews: 396 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 8/11/2011 - Published: 10/18/2010 - Orion F., Artemis F. - Complete
Percy Puppet Pals! by IhugNico reviews
From the author of Percy the Demigod comes Percy Puppet Pals! I will take requests!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,880 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/9/2011
Oliver Twisted by Rosebud5 reviews
When Charley wakes up in a parallel universe, all the gang has changed...And all in hysterical ways. "Why are you yelling at me?" Dodger whimpered, drawing his knees closer to him. "You know sometimes I get shy. People who aren't shy make me nervous."
Oliver! - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,607 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Complete
Nico diAngelo and the House on Grimmauld Place by Eowebrinda reviews
Nico shadow travels to London and breaks into Number 11, Grimmauld Place to stay the night. He sets off an alarm system Moody set up to know if anyone was trying to find Number 12. Naturally, the wizards have to bring him in.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 40,314 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 624 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 7/15/2011 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Sirius B., Nico A. - Complete
Professor Umbridge's Punishment by malfoyforever reviews
Umbridge decides to punish her fifth years by making them read Twilight. Join Harry, Ron, and others, such as teachers and Death Eaters, as they get through the book. AU, obviously. Warning: Do not read if you are against Twilight bashing. HIATUS.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,025 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 7/6/2011 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Harry P.
Albus Potter and Lyandelor's Key by allegratree reviews
Can James and Albus rescue their parents with the help of their cousins and an infamous Malfoy? This story is a continuation of "A Muggled Holiday". All suggestions welcome!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 24 - Words: 50,065 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 7/22/2008 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M. - Complete
Albus Potter and the Spellbinder by allegratree reviews
New friends, new enemies, lots of mystery, occasional humor. This story is based on the characters in the Harry Potter series as well as characters I've already created in "A Muggled Holiday" and "Lyandelors Key". You might want to read those first.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Fantasy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 73,737 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 2/2/2011 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M. - Complete
The Flawless Caper by chromeknickers reviews
In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have taken the case. But when a pretty dame offers Theodore Nott the unsolvable case of the century, he takes it. *ON HIATUS*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,485 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/28/2011 - Published: 5/18/2011 - Theodore N., Tracey D., Blaise Z.
The Pencil Portrait Problem by Northumbrian reviews
A unique and priceless object has been stolen. Who is responsible for the theft? Theodore Nott investigates
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,267 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/11/2011 - Published: 5/20/2011 - Draco M., Pansy P., Blaise Z., Theodore N. - Complete
The Silence of the Knowing by The Queen's Fabler reviews
How is that he knows everything, but no one knows he is there?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 250 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/27/2011 - Theodore N. - Complete
Controlled Chaos by Flying Liberty reviews
When Candace is left in charge while their parents are away, she feels confident she can take charge of the household. However, certain things go wrong, and her leadership ability is put to the ultimate test. I own nothing besides the plot. T for safety
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,376 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Candace, Phineas
My Slytherins by Elysia1 reviews
COMPLETE: A missing moment featuring Remus' boggart lesson with the Slytherins. Set in Harry's third year. Protective Snape and generally awesome Remus.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,771 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 550 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/17/2011 - Published: 5/17/2005 - Remus L., Draco M., Severus S. - Complete
The Singularity by Jaythe reviews
Artemis Fowl discovered the Fairy Folk when he was 12 years old. What made the Wizarding World think it even stood a chance at secrecy? From this point on, there is no turning back. The Singularity is here. HP/AF crossover.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,224 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 5/15/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Artemis F.
Fowl babysitting by TerraClearwater reviews
Well, a girl named Keilah, fresh from America, has moved to Ireland. She ends up baby-sitting for Artemis' family, and she and Arty learn a lot from each other.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,319 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 3/9/2011 - Published: 4/20/2010
Motivations by meira16 reviews
Dedicated to all the unsung heroes and unknown villains. Because good and evil can be found in every heart...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Complete
Harry Potter: A Slytherin Tale by RhamielAngel reviews
A "Harry gets sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor" fic, meant to parallel Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 56,808 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 2/13/2011 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Henry and Flynn In Time by TvFan00 reviews
Henry thinks he may have invented time-travel and enlists Flynn's help. But after a little bit of bad luck they are both sent back in time. Now they must find their way back home, if it's possible.
Shake It Up! - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,456 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Flynn J.
Freaky Friday by marcen12 reviews
What happens when Bart and homer have had enough of each other? Find out!
Simpsons - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 17,364 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/14/2010 - Published: 9/8/2010 - Homer S., Bart S. - Complete
Astoria's Guide to Slytherin Guys by OurLoveIsForever reviews
"Boys will be boys. Slytherins will be Slytherins. Combine the two and there will be trouble. On the pitch. In the dorm. On the bed. In everyday life. You were warned. Now, act accordingly." Astoria imparts some timeless wisdom.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 27,074 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 11/17/2010 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Astoria G., Draco M. - Complete
Appointment by ASF13957 reviews
Tom Marvolo Riddle visits a psychiatrist. Things do not go well. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,363 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Duncans vs Vampires by writerchic16 reviews
Teddy discovers that her ancestor was a vampire thanks to a school project. When the Duncans then need a family of wizards to save them from a dangerous vampire coven, she begins to think maybe the A wasn't worth it.
Crossover - Wizards of Waverly Place & Good Luck Charlie - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,264 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 10/4/2010
Playing Fate by Courtanie reviews
He has to know why he's the way he is; there has to be a reason. The only way to figure it out is to take himself a test subject...M for violence and theme. Nonslash.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,395 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Kenny M., Kyle B. - Complete
Animorphs: Facebook News Feed Edition by Ember Nickel reviews
Forty-nine books ago: Marco added "Let's Do It" to his "favorite quotations".
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,151 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Complete
So Busted by Kissy Fishy reviews
Candace finally busts the boys, and it all goes downhill from there.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,682 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Phineas, Ferb - Complete
Shifting Times by Shadewolf7 reviews
I was the silent one, the story that was never told. For my own protection, of course...
Crossover - Animorphs & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,441 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 9/15/2010 - Published: 2/20/2008
Pitch by PenguinsWillReignSupreme reviews
Amy knew what dead was. This was not it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,346 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Tom R. Jr., Amy B. - Complete
The Death God Alliance by Asilda reviews
"Sorry," said the son of Hades, "but if I surrendered to an organization called the House of Life, my dad would kill me." After a run in with the Kanes, Nico unwittingly ends up becoming a host for the Egyptian death god Anubis.
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Kane Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 76,032 - Reviews: 769 - Favs: 1,182 - Follows: 355 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Nico A., Anubis - Complete
Boredom by Leoanda Taylor reviews
Ever wondered what the fairy language at the bottom of the books said? Well, now you can know, because I was soo bored one day that I worked it out. This is what they said:
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,751 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 8/13/2007
A New Enemy by MiroticELF reviews
12 year old Artemis Fowl has finally received his Hogwarts letter. How will the school react to an evil genius? What will the Slytherins do when they find a mudblood in their house? Too bad Butler's not around.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,786 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 7/5/2010 - Published: 6/18/2010 - Artemis F.
Origin of Magic by Winters of Despair reviews
Foaly should know better than to leave suspicious computer files lying around. Now that Artemis has magic of his own, he's determined to find out more about it. By the time he comes and goes, the wizarding world will be left wondering what happened.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,341 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 283 - Updated: 7/4/2010 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Harry P., Artemis F.
Muggle by Zanbandia reviews
Muggle - noun A person who possesses no magical skills or abilities. Warning: cussing i.e. swear words
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,200 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Complete
No Throne to my Mother by madasmonty reviews
"I thought of my life. It had been so short. There was so much I'd wanted to do. Revenges I wanted to be repaid. People I wanted to meet. How had it gone so wrong? What did I do to deserve this?" Oneshot for Ethan Nakamura's last thoughts. Please read!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,145 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Ethan N., Percy J. - Complete
Witches and Warlocks by Aeraqua reviews
What would happen if Harry was a girl? Her character would be different, wouldn't it? Maybe even her house would be different. But, it still wouldn't deny that Voldemort's back...previously Holly Potter, The Girl Who Lived
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,460 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 8/19/2009
To Obscure a Lack of Content by alikat522 reviews
Ax and Tobias practice important human interactions. Set mid-35.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,228 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/13/2010 - Ax, Tobias - Complete
Why One Must Not Attempt To Analyze A Child Genius by fiercejinx reviews
"Artemis Fowl had retired half a dozen counselors from St. Barleby's already this year." Here's how. Six chapters, one for each psychologist losin' it.'
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,547 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 815 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 6/4/2010 - Published: 5/20/2010 - Artemis F. - Complete
The Attic Garden by GreenWood Elf reviews
Ariana brought her flowers to the attic. She made a garden where there was none. Where sunlight fell through the windows, distorted into slats by the presence of iron bars. Barred windows to hold a barred mind.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 891 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Published: 5/26/2010 - Ariana D. - Complete
Fake by Asilda reviews
Artemis's memories don't return in The Opal Deception, even after he views the disk. In order to save his friends he has to fake it, but somehow pretending to be the person they care about makes him feel even worse than stealing or extorting.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,559 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 5/16/2010 - Published: 4/15/2010 - Artemis F.
Trial By Fire by GreenWood Elf reviews
Draco lifted his head and swallowed a scream. Shards of memory danced through his mind. His car was nestled against a dented guardrail, the remnants of his shattered headlights dusting the blacktop. And outside, the sky wept soot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 42,712 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 12/6/2009 - Draco M.
Animorphs: Extinction by Spaz Kid reviews
The Animorphs and Ax have been fighting the Yeerks for awhile now. Their only hope is that someday the Andalites will come to Earth and help them destroy the Yeerks. But what if the Andalites did come? Would they bring the salvation they hope for?
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 26,059 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/5/2010 - Published: 11/6/2008
Stereotypes: All Slytherins are Evil by dork-with-glasses reviews
Stereotype. noun. Defined as: a commonly held public belief about specific social groups, or types of individuals. The concepts of "stereotype" and "prejudice" ... Evil. adjective. Morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,726 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Regulus B., Draco M. - Complete
Beauty and the Geek and Beyond by Audrey Lynne reviews
The story of how the Flynn and Fletcher families came to be, then came together. Backstory galore! Rated T to be safe. Complete!
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 26,260 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/3/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Linda, Lawence - Complete
Red Coals by Dead-Kenny-Dead reviews
I'm not sure what they were anymore. But they definitely weren't human. For mature audiences only. Will have smut. Companion piece to ketamine.methanol's "Skinwalker." Multiple Pairings.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,246 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 3/23/2010 - Published: 12/19/2009 - Kyle B., Tweek T.
Catharsis by JacksonFrost reviews
Albus reflects after Ariana's death. "And he wonders how he missed all that when she was alive, because now she’s dead, and everything that made Ariana so wonderful is gone, stolen by death."
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 969 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Albus D., Ariana D. - Complete
Snippets from Slytherin by Silver Sailor Ganymede reviews
107 drabbles focusing on various Slytherins.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 107 - Words: 30,032 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 3/20/2010 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Draco M., Theodore N. - Complete
Artemis Fowl and the Riddle's Lure by CieloCrimisi reviews
Artemis' acquisition of fairy magic results in a visit from Hogwarts. Thrust into the wizarding world, everyone's favorite genius must find a way to cope with mastering his magic, age-old prejudices, and the constant threat of teenage hormones.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,158 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 3/8/2010 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Artemis F.
Moments by Silver Sailor Ganymede reviews
One hundred drabbles involving Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 100 - Words: 18,465 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Blaise Z., Theodore N. - Complete
A Joining of Covens by VisserZer0 reviews
While feeding in an unfamiliar area, Ax discovers a strange mountain lion corpse that has been emptied of it's blood. Curious, the Animorphs go investigate. Animorphs/Twilight Saga crossover. R&R please. Ch. 16 is now up!
Crossover - Animorphs & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,668 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/25/2010 - Published: 3/10/2009
Suite and Sour by arin reviews
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I had to do it. : A better description will come when I see if there's any interest in this story. It will definitely be AU, might have slash later...
Crossover - Animorphs & Suite Life series - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,849 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/11/2010 - Published: 10/2/2009
Albus Potter and A Muggled Holiday by allegratree reviews
The Potter kids are introduced to their muggle cousins for the first time during a Christmas holiday. They come from two different worlds but perhaps have more in common then they think. Thanks for reading. I hope you will review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,942 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Albus S. P., Harry P. - Complete
So Count Me In by Dretastic reviews
Oneshot composed entirely of anxiety filled Tweek thoughts. Which, I feel, sums this up better then I could. Rated T for language..
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,066 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Tweek T. - Complete
For the Greater Good by dork-with-glasses reviews
So who were the people that died for the Greater Good? How did the they die? Who are they thinking about now? What did the lose? And did they mind dying?...Story about everyone who died for the Greater Good. Starting with Ariana and ending with Voldemort.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 9,411 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/19/2009 - Published: 9/14/2009 - Ariana D., Voldemort - Complete
A is for Atom by Dorus the Walrus reviews
The Muggle World and the Wizarding World have remained separated for centuries. But, as the Muggle World begins to disintegrate, Percy and the rest of Wizarding Britain is going to have to deal with it whether they like it or not. AU. Rated for carnage.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,118 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/12/2009 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Percy W.
Forever, your hand in mine by DrusillaSnaps reviews
A poem from Bruno's point of view, documenting the last few minutes of his and Shumel's live's. My first piece of work on the beautiful TBITSP so please let me know how I did! Enjoy!
Boy In the Striped Pajamas - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Complete
The Controller by Salad Shooter reviews
Leela is just another ten-year-old kid until her curiosity gets her into trouble at The Sharing. Meaning goodbye normal life, hello Yeerk in head. But Leela's Yeerk is no ordinary Yeerk: she's Visser Three's sister, and she's got problems of her own ... [Not sure if I'll continue this. It does tie into Primary: the rise of Esplin 9466 so you can read that if you want to know more]
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,681 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10/31/2009 - Published: 10/6/2009 - Visser Three
Wake Me Up when September Ends by Boolia reviews
Phineas is having terrible luck when a certain food item is causing him to repeat the day over and over again. Each day he lives over again, he tries to make his picture better and better. Meanwhile, Perry tries to find out what Phineas has been eating.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,040 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/17/2009 - Published: 9/16/2009 - Perry, Phineas - Complete
The Family Name: Year Four by Elbereth in April reviews
Crossover with Artemis Fowl. Artemis and Draco are still at odds, and both are keeping secrets. Hermione is not happy. Harry is fighting for his life in the TriWizard Tournament.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 55,686 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 10/15/2009 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Draco M., Artemis F. - Complete
Theodore Nott by The Fishie reviews
An encounter between Theodore Nott and Luna Lovegood after the final battle. Hints of Theodore/Luna and Draco/Astoria
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,226 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Luna L., Theodore N.
God Save The Queen by Gariand reviews
Series of drabbles. "Only when I came to America did I think of myself as British." - Naveen Andrews
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,219 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 6/25/2009
make believe by Ky-lassassin reviews
...this was all it was and all it ever would be—just a game to him, nothing more than pretend." For T/D's June '09 challenge. — GellertAriana.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 722 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/17/2009 - Ariana D., Gellert G. - Complete
you would look so pretty by painted.inkblot reviews
And you would be in a lovely white dress, with daisies--you like daisies," says Aberforth. Ariana learns about rings and marriage.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 902 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Ariana D., Aberforth D. - Complete
Future World by ANItiger13 reviews
The Ellimist sends the Animorphs to a future where they've won and are famous.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,384 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 12/25/2007
The Revenge by Sjeherazade reviews
Cassie is going on a trip to another state with her parents. And she's making everyone in school jealous by talking about all fun she will have. No one is talking about anything else. Until Tom starts to ask Jake questions about morphing and andalites....
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 25 - Words: 13,562 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Jake, Tom B. - Complete
Kin and Kind by Red Bandit The 188th reviews
Is Ron losing his mind? There is a spectral little girl following him that nobody else can see. Is she the ghost of Draco Malfoy's recently murdered daughter, or something far darker than he can imagine? *In Progress, comments welcome. Not a slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 731 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Draco M., Ron W.
ANIMORPH ONE MINUTE SHOW WITH DR PHIL by KityPryde reviews
Chapter3 is kind of different from the other chapters in length and style but I hope you guys still like it. After the other Chee begin to complain, Mr.King calls Erek and Maria to the underground park so that they can attempt to get along with each other
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,192 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Elfangor, Erek
I've Got Soul But I'm Not A Soldier by XmaddysigX
Draco Malfoy joined the Dark Lord's service more than happily. That changed very quickly. This is ALL of HBP from Draco's perspective.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,640 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Draco M., Blaise Z.
Ring Around The Rosie by phannah17 reviews
“Do you know why they started singing Ring Around The Rosie, Dolly? She frowned, her brows scrunching together. “Because it’s fun,” she replied with another bright smile, hoping he would play with her now."No, Dolly, that's not why."
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,310 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/15/2008 - Tom R. Jr., OC - Complete
The Family Name: Third Year by Elbereth in April reviews
Crossover with Artemis Fowl. This year at Hogwarts: dementors, Hermione with a crush on an evil Slytherin genius, plots against Lucius, self-defense with Butler, spying on Lupin, and one alliance between Artemis and Draco guaranteed to shake things up.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 69,681 - Reviews: 790 - Favs: 473 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 12/1/2004 - Draco M., Artemis F. - Complete
The Way We Know It by The Sushi Monster reviews
Anthony Goldstein. Theodore Nott. Seamus Finnigan. Justin Finch-Fletchley. Four boys, each from four different universes. When a certain Slytherin gets the bright idea to stick them all together in a new world, what could possibly happen? ABANDONED.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,279 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/18/2008 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Anthony G., Theodore N.
Hypothermia by Umbrae Calamitas reviews
A fic that began as a serious idea, and then turned for the worse. James' pranking and love for Lily gets her detention in the Forbidden Forest as a winter storm is brewing. When he goes to save her, the other boys get help from McGonagall... sort of.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,595 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/12/2008 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Artemis Fowl and the New World by Wizhoger reviews
When Artemis Fowl gets an invitation to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a whole new world of sorcery and magic awaits him... little does he know what else he is about to find out!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 34,346 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 4/5/2008 - Published: 2/23/2008 - Artemis F. - Complete
Insult to Injury by initial aitch reviews
Receiving his prize of all the chocolate he could ever eat is too much for Mike to take.Warnings for bits of angst, violence, insanity.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,495 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/1/2007 - Complete
Tweek Versus Sanity by Rai-Child reviews
They were back, and this time it was certain... They were after more than just his underpants... Oneshot.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,464 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Tweek T., Craig T. - Complete
phobia mania by LixXxa reviews
Selenophobia is one having the fear of moons. Remus has it. Pocrescophobia is the fear of being fat, or gaining weight. James has this. Sirius has Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, Paraskavedekatriaphobia, Papyrophobia, Melissophobia, Gerascophobia...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,812 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/2/2007 - Published: 7/31/2007 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
The Letter by ASGT and Kat Maximoff reviews
Oliver Twist: A semi sequel to Afternoon Conversations. Dodger finds help aboard the ship to Australia and writes a letter to someone who will, unbeknown to him, never receive it. [Slightly DodgerNancy]
Charles Dickens - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,300 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Complete
Day Like The Last by Kouklara reviews
Kenny walks across the road, smokes a cigarette, thinks about how his life sucks and gets a little depressed. Then he gets hit by a truck and dies.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2007 - Kenny M. - Complete
Have you ever? by The Fabulous A.J reviews
In the time between the tour of the house and dinner, Wilbur has a conversation with Lewis. SPOILERS.
Meet the Robinsons - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,118 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/7/2007 - Wilbur R., Lewis - Complete
The Reason Most Squibs Have Cats by Phoebonica reviews
It is a truth widely acknowledged that Squibs tend to be cat people. One Squib explains why.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 953 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/5/2007 - OC - Complete
A Different Boy Who Lived by AngelMorph reviews
What if Voldemort chose to mark Neville as his equal instead of Harry? That's the question that this story sets out to answer. Deals mostly with his childhood to date. On hiatus until I finish with HP&tRoMC
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 27 - Words: 38,043 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 11/12/2006 - Published: 10/12/2003 - Neville L., Harry P.
Beyond the Edge of Reason by Silver Sailor Ganymede reviews
A look into the twisted mind of an insane man.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/3/2006 - Voldemort - Complete
Part of Your Muggle World by RoxieWeasley reviews
Me and My step sister made this as a joke. It is the song from the Little Mermaid 'Part of Your World'. It is recreated for Arthur Weasley! It is funnier than it sounds, I just stink at summaries.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 269 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/13/2006 - Arthur W. - Complete
Craig, Leader of the Lawn Gnomes by Seaouryou reviews
Tweek has never been so sure of something in his life. Craig wants to eat him.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,104 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/10/2006 - Craig T., Tweek T. - Complete
One Last Fight by Verity West reviews
Harry receives a mysterious letter and you get to decide how he responds! A classic choose your own adventure story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 6,053 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/19/2006 - Complete
The Blizzard by Ember Nickel reviews
It was supposed to be a holiday party for the Animorphs and their families. But when intergalactic enemies are having their say, is anything gonna go as planned? Make a wild guess. Set after 8 but before 10.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 16,300 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/9/2006 - Published: 12/28/2005 - Rachel - Complete
Attack of the Clichéd Plots by MooseyDoom777 reviews
What could possibly have MarySues, love triangles, crazy children, impulsive romances, and bad grammar? It can only be……The Clichéd Plots.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,318 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 5/6/2006 - Published: 6/22/2005
Fancy Meeting You Here by Phoenix Bradley reviews
What happened to the four brats once they grew up? Four short stories of Willy Wonka's second meeting with each of them.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,364 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/24/2005 - Published: 8/19/2005 - Complete
Deadly Sins by LejindaryBunny reviews
A trip to Wonka's factory hasn't burned the anger out of Mike Teavee, and as he grows, his bitterness grows with him. Will he ever recover from the wounds of childhood? probably oneshot
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,825 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/3/2005 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Curse of Durand by Nomad1 reviews
When Harry returns to Hogwarts for his sixth year, he finds the entire school under an ancient and deadly dangerous enchantment.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 30 - Words: 103,564 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/27/2005 - Published: 1/29/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
A game by Simon Silvertongue reviews
A short story. Can't really imagine anything shorter than this one. There are few stories on fanfiction.net that has more reviews than words, and this is one of them!
Tetris - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/16/2004
The Family Name by Elbereth in April reviews
Artemis-Harry Potter Crossover. Artemis learns he is a wizard. Put one unethical child genius in Hogwarts and watch the schemes and rivalries unfold. COMPLETE
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 92,631 - Reviews: 951 - Favs: 811 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 7/12/2004 - Published: 9/21/2003 - Draco M., Artemis F. - Complete
The Aniwizard Adventures 1: Animals and Aliens by SiriuslyPadfoot12 reviews
It's a HPAnimorphs story! HP: Something strange is happening... The students are loosing their magical abilities! Animorphs: The Yeerks have found a new technology suprior to their own... on Earth! Enjoy! COMPLETED!
Crossover - Animorphs & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 73,102 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/8/2003 - Published: 1/12/2003 - Complete
Harry and the Giant Marshmallow by Oort reviews
There is a giant marshmallow that's eating people. It's funnier than it sounds. Please R&R. Rated for insanity and people being eaten. My first try at a HP fic. I added chapter 2!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,685 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 8/17/2003 - Published: 8/5/2003 - Harry P.
THE TASK by Freak Apple reviews
Cassie has to babysit Rachel's little sisters. Can she handle it? Hehe. Theres also some Jake-Cassie stuff in here so **ropes all the J/C people in** Huzzah! Review please! Um. . .if it sucks tell me. . .
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,095 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/17/2003
Blue Eyed Angel by OnaMarzhan reviews
Harry is repetedly visited by the ghost of a little blue eyed girl. After helping him escape an assanation she begins to indicate she needs help from him, and Harry discovers that she may be linked to his past... FINISHED!!!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,948 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 2/8/2003 - Published: 8/21/2001
In the Presence of Angels by Seldes Katne reviews
In the present day, a Jewish grandmother recalls a mysterious man from her childhood; in 1938, Alastor Moody makes a chilling discovery in a pre-World War II German city.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,731 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/1/2001
Kate by L'Angel reviews
A new Animorph joins the group.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 40,720 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/30/2001 - Published: 5/16/1999
Any Means Necessary by Forlay reviews
Rachel tries to explain to her mother and sisters the importance of remaining in the valley. *Spoilers for 50*
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,556 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/15/2001
A New Chapter by Kay the Cricketed reviews
Future monologe from Ax's POV...
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,964 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2000
Happy Halloween by Forlay reviews
A Halloween party and Ax Trick or Treating. Scared yet?
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,897 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/30/1999
The Chill of Death by Bob Elder reviews
The Yeerks release a deadly disease.
Animorphs - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,247 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/19/1999
The End by Bob Elder reviews
A powerful story of the Animorphs in the last days of the war..(Iddy bit o’ Violence)
Animorphs - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31,687 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/18/1999
The Perfect Fairy Tale by Forlay reviews
The Animorphs go to the land of fairy tales
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,915 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/18/1999
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The Sweetness of Revenge reviews
Nearly two years after the tour, Mike Teavee receives a strange phone call from Veruca Salt. She has a plan to get back at Wonka, but it involves returning to the dreaded factory. And when disaster strikes, the two become trapped inside! Now the only way out is to work their way through a series of challenges that seem to be designed specifically for them . . .
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,897 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 8/12/2013 - Published: 7/31/2012 - Mike Teevee, Veruca Salt
Dead End reviews
An eleven-year-old Annabeth has the adventure of a lifetime. Pre-Lightning Thief
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 44 - Words: 66,961 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 4/3/2013 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Theodore N., Annabeth C.
Four Days in H E Double Broomsticks reviews
A skiing trip takes a deadly turn, leaving four friends fighting for their lives.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 21,670 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/3/2013 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Albus S. P., Draco M., Rose W., Harry P.
Nothing Short of Insanity reviews
What do you get when you add a green-haired child prodigy, a semi-evil scientist, a secret agent platypus, and little bit of magic? Complete and utter chaos!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,690 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 12/8/2012 - Published: 11/18/2011 - Ferb
Slytherin Story reviews
"The past few weeks had been but a blur. It wasn't until now that reality had finally sunk in. She felt as if her entire world had come crashing down. And, in a way, it had." Following the war, when her family is arrested, 15-year-old Astoria Greengrass is forced to stay with the Weasleys.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,194 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 8/7/2012 - Astoria G.
I Stood My Ground reviews
A series of drabbles involving the Slytherins' reactions to Harry Potter's "death"
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,213 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 3/23/2012 - Theodore N., Draco M.
Of Penguins and BendyStraws reviews
Jake and Marco have a sleepover. Marco cannot sleep. Randomness ensues!
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,365 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/16/2012 - Jake, Marco - Complete
Expect the Unexpected reviews
Working on The Project Artemis finds something odd.An unknown substance is destroying the ozone layer at incredible rates.His plan is simple: find the power source and shut it down, but things take an unexpected turn, and he's in for the shock of his life
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,398 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/10/2012 - Published: 11/20/2010 - Harry P., Lily Luna P., Artemis F., Opal K.
Game Over reviews
A triple drabble. Mike Teavee's thoughts as he lays in the taffy stretcher. More details inside.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,464 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/21/2012 - Mike Teevee - Complete
A New Twist reviews
After a strange chat with a certain ghost, Nico goes to England hoping for someone to help them fight Kronos, but what he gets, is a whole lot more than he bargains for...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 65 - Words: 59,764 - Reviews: 538 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 11/3/2011 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Astoria G., Harry P., Nico A., Percy J.
A Furry Friend reviews
For thousands of years dogs have been know to soften even the hardest of hearts. But, what's the world's youngest criminal mastermind going to say when he finds a stray dog in front of the Fowl Manor? My 1st Artemis Fowl fic! RxR
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,074 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/28/2011 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Artemis F., Juliet B. - Complete
Aftermorphs 1: The Warning reviews
No one has seen the Animorphs in months. The war is over, the Yeerks are gone. But there's a new threat. Can another group of kids do what the Animorphs did? Full summery inside!
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,045 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/9/2011 - Published: 2/7/2010 - David
Artemorphs reviews
The Yeerks are after Artemis! They want to use his intelligence and wealth to take over earth. And when the Animorphs save him from a near infestation, he agrees to help them fight the Yeerks, provided they give him something in return...
Crossover - Animorphs & Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,110 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/2/2010 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Artemis F.
The Bet reviews
Rachel bets Marco that she can go longer without shopping, than Marco can go with no video games! Who will win?
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,519 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/5/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Marco, Rachel
Guilt reviews
Guilt is like a hungry parasite. It eats you alive, giving you nothing in return. And if it is not taken care of, it will eventually destroy you completely. After Artemis jumps out the window, Minerva doesn't know who she is anymore. Spoilers for book 5
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,197 - Reviews: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/17/2010 - Minerva P. - Complete
Castle Chaos! reviews
When Dumbledore's great great niece comes to town, Hogwarts is about to get a run for its money...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,950 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/6/2010 - Published: 8/9/2010
Nighttime Cries reviews
Rachel's point of view of the night they trapped David. ONE-SHOT RxR
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 348 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/30/2010 - David, Rachel - Complete
Deadly Quest reviews
Melissa, Skyler, and Sophie. Three very different kids. With three very different godly parents. But now, these children must take part in a prophecy, that might mean life...or death. -Set after TLO. On hiatus until further notice.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,572 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 7/1/2010
Protect Me II reviews
Jamie goes back to NY for a week, but feels out of place with muggles. Allison starts to suspect something about her best friend. Toby starts acting strange-And that's just the beginning!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 6,156 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 3/21/2010 - OC
iGoToHogwarts reviews
Who really was Sam's father?
Crossover - Harry Potter & iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 6/25/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Draco M., Sam P.
Wizwarts reviews
Alex, Justin, and Max go to Hogwarts to learn about different types of wizardry. The result, CHAOS!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Wizards of Waverly Place - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,347 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/25/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Alex R.
Growing Up reviews
We all know the Di Angelo children. But what happened before Percy met them? This is a collection of short stories about their lives when they were younger, growing up in Washington D.C RxR!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/25/2010 - Nico A., Bianca A.
Animorphs Soundtrack Version 2 reviews
A better version of my old one. Basically, a bunch of real songs with the words changed to become Animorph-ish. Try it! Pretty please? *Puppy face*
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/17/2010
It's A Dog's Life! reviews
When Mrs. O'Leary and Ceberus have puppies, no one knows what to do with them! How will the camp possibly survive? A story for dog lovers of all kinds RxR! P.S. I don't own PJO
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,013 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/27/2010 - Published: 3/1/2010 - Nico A., Percy J.
The Bloop reviews
What happens when Rachel's little sister steals my computer ONE-SHOT
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 241 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Complete
One Wish reviews
Harry wishes on a star Voldemort was never born.But what happens when his wish comes true?Now Harry's in a different world where he has family and doesn't have to save the world! But is it as good as it looks?And what happened 2 the Harry from THIS world?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,911 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/22/2010 - Published: 2/17/2010 - Harry P.
Animorphs Soundtrack reviews
Just a bunch of real songs that I changed to make Animorph themed. Actually, it's pretty good. You won't know unless you try! RxR!
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 951 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 3/23/2010
Protect Me reviews
Jamie is shocked when she finds out that she is a witch.But her troubles are just beginning.Now Jamie is about to find out secrets of her past she never knew.Can her new friends and a dog keep her from the deadly threats that await?My 1st fic, so be nice!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 17,482 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/18/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - OC - Complete
The Bargain reviews
The Ellimist makes a LITTLE deal with Malfoy. And the Animorphs get a BIG surprise.
Crossover - Animorphs & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,561 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/18/2010 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Rachel, Draco M.
Did you love me? reviews
Luke's last moments with Annabeth. The scene from the book, told from his POV! Give it a try, I suck at summeries, but really it's much better than it sounds. RxR! P.S. I don't own Percy Jackson
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Luke C., Annabeth C. - Complete
Letters reviews
ONE-SHOT: After her twin leaves to Hogwarts, Melissa is truely crushed. Watch how the unfairness of the wizarding world tears a little girl's dreams to shreads RxR!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Complete
Remember reviews
One-shot. Jordan writes a poem for Rachel's funeral. Kind of depressing, but it's pretty good.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Rachel - Complete