Author has written 2 stories for Twilight, and Misc. Books.
I am: eMmEtT's-LiTtLe-SisS
I am: eMmEtT's-LiTtLe-SisS
I am so many years old and LOVE vampire storys. I like twilight and have no team Edward or Jacob, but I am all for Bella and Jasper...and maybe some Peter...Annnywhoo my favorite book is twilight though I find bella a bit depressing and creepy. lol. I wish Emmett was my big brother and none of my friends understand my slight obsession for Twilight and hate the thing. I read nearly any vampire, angel, witch, werewolve or zombie book as long as it has a little romance in and good grammer. My favorite colors are Green, Blue and Grey!! Next to reading, my hobbies are writing and drawing. (Although I prefer reading than writing.) I am not very good at getting my ideas down on paper (Or in this case the keyboard and P.C.) so I will not be updating to often. If you find any problems with my work please tell me and I will try to fix it. My spelling is not the best but I will try to make it readable!!
A man walks into a bar with a box under his arm and sits down at the bar. The bartender asks the man "What is in the box", the man says "Inside this box is the most amazing thing you have ever seen, will ever see, and there is none other like it in the world". The bartender got exicted and said "Well open it, open up the box and let me see!" The man smiled and said "Alright, I'll show you what is in my box IF you give me free drinks for the rest of the night." The bartender thinks Well, I make good business I can afford to give this guy free drinks I guess. He says "Ok" and the man opens the box. Inside is a 10 Inch man on a piano, and he is just wailing on that thing playing his heart out. The bartender says "WOW that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Where did you get him?" The man holds up a lamp and says "I have this magic genie who will grant anyone one wish, anything they want in the world" The bartender looks in amazment and says "Well you've already made your 1 wish why not give it to me?" The man again smiled and said "Alright, I'll give it to you if you give me free drinks for the rest of my life" The bartender gets angry and says "No way man I cant give you free drinks for the rest of your LIFE I've got a business to run I'm trying to make money here!!" "Ok" the man says, and he gets up to walk out of the bar. The bartender thinks One wish, anything in the world that I want. Then he stops the man and says "Ok ok free drinks for the rest of your life just gimme the genie" He rubs the lamp and says "I wish I had a million bucks" All of the sudden his bar is just filled with ducks, I mean up to the brim! Then the bartender says "What the Heck man you didnt tell me your genie was hard of hearing!" The man says "Yea no one told me that eiather, you think I wished for a 10 inch Pianist??
WARNING:Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. NOTE:Do use an axe to kill a fly on ur enemies head. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much. we do it in the bed, on the couch, on the table. heck! we even do it in the car! YUP! we love to text. I’m the kind of girl that lies awake at night thinking about how romantic it would be for a guy to come up from behind me and wrap his arms around my waist but in reality would end up freaking out and turning around and giving him a bloody nose because i was afraid someone was trying to kidnap me. If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do (A real boyfriend):
9 Things I Hate (repost if you agree)
1 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is, pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3 When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?
5 When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, loser, I paid 7 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, sunshine?
7 When something is "new and improved." Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say, "Life is short." What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, honey, would I still be standing here? I don't think so.
My name is Chris, I am three,
My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,
I must be stupid, I must be bad,
What else could have made, My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me,
I can't do a wrong, I can't speak at all,
Or else im locked up, All day long,
When im awake im all alone, The house is dark, My folks aren't home,
When my mommy does come home, I'll try and be nice,
So maybe i'll just get, One whipping tonight,
I just heard a car, My daddy is back From Charlie's bar,
I hear him curse, My name is called,
I press myself, Against the wall,
I try to hide, From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry,
He finds me weeping, Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault, He suffers at work,
He slaps and hits me, And yells at me more,
I finally get free, And run to the door,
He's already locked it, And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall,
I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted, Into a unimaginable shape,
The hurt and the pain, Again and again,
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops, And heads for the door,
While i lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor,
My name is Chris, I am three,
Tonight my daddy,
there were 3girls They were looking through peoples MySpaces. The girl slowly came upon this one myspace. It had creatures in the background and the man looked like a psycho. She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my MySpace?? XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; youre looking at my MySpace right now. XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make any sense, how? SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high shorts. She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what ever she could. Her and her friend started to get worried now. XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you just said about me with your friend like a minute ago. They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him hes a fcking psycho! The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes watching us? SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me from coming to your house. XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its not a problem. XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me that wont be a problem. SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really scared. Girls friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up. She goes and knocks but no one said anything she opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom; her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two minutes here will be three men, one in your bathroom, one in your room, and one killing your parents at that very moment. Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? Repost or you are going to die.
REMEMBER WHEN ..
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!
Girls Don't realize these things;
But most of all
And I'm sorry
And I'm sorry
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
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